The Dictator
by riot3672
Summary: Kuvira's time in prison following the events of the season 4 finale; Kuvira sinks into depression over the horrors she committed, and with all her former adopted family against her, Korra is the only one who can see Kuvira for who she really is and is willing to help her rise up again. (post-finale/Korvira)
1. Hope

**A/N: **A cordial welcome to the slowest-paced Korvira fic in the fandom.

Post-finale with flashbacks to between Book 3 and 4, Book 4, and pre-LOK; spoilers for said finale; Pairings: Korvira, with bits of Baavira and Korrasami.

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><p><em>Dictators don't need fair treatment.<em>

It was all Kuvira could think as she burned under Suyin's hateful gaze. All through the sentencing, the transportation, it was all Suyin gave her. Kuvira almost preferred Suyin's harsh words, the cold disregard for the decades the two of them had been family. She couldn't tell what hurt more: the guilt, invading her heart cut by cut, the same way the Avatar cut into Colossus, or the knowledge that Suyin and Baatar would never forgive her.

The nameless White Lotus guards stopped as they reached Kuvira's new home. A wooden box, suspended hundreds of feet in the air. The same sort of cell Kuvira had put Suyin's family—her family—inside in the madness of a goal growing too fast.

One of the guards pushed her forward, and a new, physical pain joined all the mental anguish, licking it up for just a moment. She cringed, hands automatically trying to quell the pain from her broken ribs.

"Hey!" the second guard barked as he grabbed Kuvira's arms.

Another shot of pain burned through her. She'd been through pain far worse than this and didn't bat an eyelash, but tears burned in her eyes as she waited for this pain to stop. She needed to keep it together. At least until she was in that cage.

Spirits, how could they have thought she was well enough to take guard roughhousing so soon after the battle. _You didn't give all those people days' recuperation after attacking. You deserve even less._ She had to count her luck. Avatar Korra hadn't needed to save her, especially after trying to kill her with the weapon. She could've sustained much worse injuries than a few broken ribs.

The first guard grabbed her by a handful of her shirt, forcing her to look up and at him. She clenched her jaw to mask the pain he was causing.

"Let's go, _Great Uniter_. _We_ have a schedule," the first guard said.

He dropped her, and she nearly fell to the ground. She stopped herself with a quick change of footing. The guards grabbed her, and they continued their walk. The last real walk she'd be taking for a while.

They stepped into an elevator shaft, and lurched upward. There didn't seem to be a single motion these guys made that didn't send a new wave of pain through Kuvira, but _dictators don't get fair treatment_.

She glanced down as one of the guards formed a bridge to the cage.

If she moved quick enough, she could throw herself off this bridge.

It would be deep enough to end it, and neither of these guards were air benders or metal benders. There would be nothing they could do, and she could end it before it began. Before they closed the door on that cage and let her inner demons eat her alive. She knew she was quick, efficient; she could do it. Let it be her one last battle move.

No one would miss her. Not her parents, not the Metal Clan, not Baatar…

She squeezed her eyes shut, pushing the thoughts back as best she could. Mistaking the Spirit World for death made death seem tame, but she knew she still couldn't guarantee anything better if she jumped off that platform.

It would be the easy way out, and she never took the easy way out.

The guards led her forward before she could give it a second thought. She kept up pace as best she could, knowing them pushing her along would be worse than the fast walking. Nothing would be a picnic at this point, and some primal part of her wanted to get inside that cage just so she could stop moving.

"Welcome to your palace, Great Uniter," the second guard sneered as she stepped in.

He closed the door before she'd even turned around to face them. She watched them return to the elevator shaft, the earth bridge disappearing behind them.

Teeth gritted, tears and sweat welling, she lowered herself to the ground, knees first. The pain was tolerable up until her knees hit the floor, then it became unbearable. She lost her concentration, one hand cradling her ribcage and the other splayed on the wooden floor. Her arm shook, and she willed herself to roll back against the cage's wall instead of dropping onto her stomach.

How had this happened? How had she gone from the leader of the Earth Empire to a prisoner who couldn't sit down without agony? She had the dexterity of a senior citizen, and knew even if there was metal around her, she'd hardly be able to do the motions to bend it.

_The injury is temporary_, she reminded herself. She'd seen people over the years with rib injuries, and it just took time to heal. Everything looked hopeless when emotion took charge from logic. She hardly had the strength to trust anything but her emotions, but she had to try. She had to survive this prison sentence somehow.

Slowly, barely moving an inch a second, she leaned backward enough for her back to touch the back of the cage. She exhaled and let her legs stretch out straight. She winced and rubbed her hand over her broken ribs.

What would happen if she told the guard who brought her food and water about the injury? They'd probably ignore it. Maybe she'd get lucky and she needed real medical attention. Even if it was just a day or two outside the cage, it would be worth it.

Except there were no guards around her. No one but her, the wooden cage, and the dark abyss below. This was the dictator's reward. Avatar Korra had defeated her, and she had to not only surrender to Su and Lin, but look Korra in the eyes and see all the mistakes she'd made. See the madness, the violence, the suffering she had caused. She had wanted to save her people, protect them, help them, but all they would remember her for is the pain she caused. Was this injury supposed to be poetic, the pain she projected onto her people twisting her insides up, making her end all the more real?

Sitting there, exhausted and pain oozing out in never-ending supply, it made sense.

Kuvira leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

_You'll pay for everything you did. _As if losing Baatar and the Metal Clan wasn't enough.

Yet, why let Su's reaction take hold of her like this? Su had never truly loved her the way she loved her real kids. Whereas Baatar could make a mistake like joining Kuvira and return to open arms, Kuvira was always the outsider, the kid on probation. One slip up and she was gone, back to being the same nothing her own parents had seen. All her life, Kuvira had been perfect, and her one mistake was done. It was a lost cause.

Perhaps the pain would dull with time, like this injury. Everything hurts the most at the beginning, but the body builds up tolerance and immunity, and the pain fades. The mind worked the same way.

Kuvira lost track of time, but it was quite a while in the dark before she fell into a pitiful sleep.

* * *

><p><em>"Su?"<em>

_Eight years old, the eldest among the kids in the house, yet Kuvira had waited hours until Su was finished caring for the other kids to tell her about the cut she'd gotten while playing with Baatar. _

_Su sat on her bed, some papers out in front of her. She looked up immediately, the same way she'd done for the other kids. "What is it, Kuvira?" She held out her hand, blood soaked and dripping off the makeshift bandage. "Spirits, Kuvira. Follow me. How long ago did you get that?"_

_Kuvira followed Su into the bathroom and took a seat. "A few hours ago. Junior and I were trying to metal bend. I thought I could do it, but I ended up cutting myself when I tried to change its shape."_

_Su pulled off the old bandage and ran Kuvira's hand under some water. It stung, but Kuvira kept a brave face. "You must be doing pretty well if you thought you were already ready to change shape."_

_"I think so."_

_Su blotted some medicine onto the cut and wrapped it back up. "You're excelling at it. Even my mother said you're exceptional already." She kissed Kuvira's forehead. "You'll be an amazing metal bender one day, just be patient."_

Kuvira awoke in the same darkness as before, the only marker of time's passage being how stiff and sore she'd become. She looked toward where she'd come in, and found a tray, a plate, and a cup sitting at the entrance of the cage. She thought about going for it, but one motion forward told her she wasn't going anywhere. She wasn't hungry, anyway.

She ran a hand through her hair, growing more and more tangled by the minute. She wished she could put it up, out of her face, but they'd taken away her tie. Metal, of course. She sighed and tried to occupy her mind without thinking about her childhood or anything involving the Metal Clan. There were about three hours' worth of memories to work with, then. Great.

She could plan something, but what was there to plan? She wasn't creative enough to make something up, and it left her wondering where her supporters were then. She'd learned a fair amount about a lot of her soldiers, and could mentally recite names and positions and temperaments—

She huffed. She just needed to take it easy and stop thinking for a while. She needed to heal and keep the guilt at bay. Once her ribs were healed, she could pace the cell, do push ups, sit ups, keep her body sharp and figure out how to sharpen her mind afterwards. People survived in prison without going insane, and she'd do the same.

She tried to take a deep breath, but all she could manage was a shallow intake of breath without the pain. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep again. She probably needed to make up for those months with little sleep anyway.

* * *

><p>"Fix yourself up, Great Uniter. You've got a visitor."<p>

It'd been a few days, and she'd just managed to flip back onto her hands and knees to crawl over to the food tray. She forgot what it was like to breath deeply without a second thought, or the sound of her own voice.

The guard took her tray away and walked back to the elevator without retracting the bridge. Kuvira had been planning to sprawl onto the floor, giving her core a break from all the barely supported sitting up straight, but she hadn't completely relinquished her pride.

It was Avatar Korra who walked across that bridge.

The Avatar got as close as she could to the cage and sat down. "Hi, Kuvira," she said, her tone somewhere between friendly and guarded.

Kuvira nodded towards her, unsure what words to use.

"I hope they're treating you okay. I've…never exactly checked on these high security prisons. I'd hate to think anyone was being treated inhumanely." Kuvira bit her inner cheek, so Korra couldn't see. "How have you been?" Korra paused. "Sorry, that's a stupid question. Obviously, not great." Korra shifted. "The Earth Kingdom's doing good, if you were wondering. You really did a great job keeping everything together. It certainly wasn't as crazy as when the Queen fell, pretty easy to hoist up." She paused. "You should be proud."

Kuvira shut her eyes, the shame welling in her chest stronger than the actual pain. Why was the Avatar trying to sugarcoat it? The last good thing Kuvira had done had been months ago. The Earth Kingdom had to recover because of what Kuvira did to it.

Kuvira tried to take a deep breath, but it hitched the moment the stabbing pain shot through her chest. Her hand flew to her ribs, covering them the way she'd done in her first few moments with the injury.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Kuvira said, her voice hoarse from disuse. She tried to clear her throat, but it only made everything more painful.

"You…You were hurt when the portal was made. I thought you were okay when you walked away with Su and Lin, but I guess…should I get a guard?"

"Don't bother. They wouldn't be able to help."

Korra reached for something on her person. "I have some water and Katara taught me how to heal. Maybe I could—"

"Don't touch me." She took a shallow breath. "They're broken ribs. You can't help."

"I've seen Katara do it. Really, I could fix them. It's hard enough being in here…"

"Please Korra, don't. They'd notice you touching me, either way. I'll be fine."

"You can hardly breathe."

Kuvira gave her a look, hoping the Avatar would get the message. Korra nodded and shifted again.

"Did I thank you for saving my dad's life?"

"Yes."

"Well, thank you, again. I'm going to go see him soon, and sometimes, I forget to think about what happened around me when I battled Zaheer. You were a hero back then."

Kuvira quirked an eyebrow. "And now?"

"Now," Korra planted her elbow on her knee. "Now you can redeem yourself like Zaheer did. Like I said, I don't think you're evil. I understand why you did what you did. More recently, I've begun to think that you could even return to your Zaofu Metal Clan days." She paused. "Not literally, at least not for a while, but something like that. You're good, deep down." She smiled. "Aang would've thought so."

Kuvira looked away. "Don't patronize me."

"I'm not. I really feel that way." Kuvira looked back, right into Korra's eyes. "I never got to know you back when you worked for Su, but I wish I had. Maybe I could've stopped everything sooner. If I hadn't disappeared, or let Zaheer kill the Earth Queen…I don't blame you for how you started out. You're the first of my big foes that ever had enough self-awareness to turn themselves in. I think that's significant, and I don't want to forget it. But, I also don't want you to either. I can't say for Su or Baatar, but there's always hope. Don't give up on yours." Korra laughed. "I don't recognize the words coming out of my mouth these days. It's…It's been a long journey."

"I never wanted to hurt Su or any her family when I captured them, when I shot at you and Baatar. I know they won't believe me, but I need it to feel more than it does inside my head."

Korra glanced back and returned with a frown on her face. "I have to go. Seriously, is there nothing I can do about the ribs?"

Kuvira chuckled a little, but stopped quick. "If you've got something for numbing pain."

Korra's eyes lit up. "I don't have it with me, but I'll be back."

* * *

><p>Another two days passed. She stopped sleeping at night and resorted to napping all throughout the day. Time melted away, pain mixed with soreness, guilt, and memories. She thought about her parents a lot, wondering if they were still out there and knew what she had done. She wondered if Baatar was wooing another woman, if he needed any time to get over her. She thought about the new spirit portal, and if it was fate that she helped open it. She'd never been a spiritual person, but there was no denying how amazing it was. How amazing Korra's powers truly were. To think she'd let a second of smugness pass across her face when she defeated Korra at Zaofu.<p>

Hunger and energy came and went, but that day, at whatever time it was, Kuvira left her tray untouched.

"Visitor for you, Great Uniter!"

And there was Korra. She ran across the bridge and stopped quick in front of the cage with a smile on her face.

"Did you actually find something?" Kuvira asked.

Korra nodded. "I don't know if it'll work, but Mako thinks it might. Don't worry, I didn't tell him what it was for." She removed her hand from a fold in her clothing to reveal it was covered in some kind of clear liquid. "It's sake. Is your cup empty?" Kuvira shook her head. "Hold on."

Korra picked up the water from Kuvira's cup with one hand and dropped the sake into the cup with the other. One glance back and Korra dropped the water off the bridge into the darkness below.

"You got me…sake…" Kuvira said, wondering if this was all a dream.

Korra shrugged. "Best I could do so long as you don't let me heal you."

Kuvira picked up the cup with a shaking hand and threw it back. She hadn't drunk in so long, but the burn of the alcohol was oddly comforting.

"Thank you," she muttered.

Korra smiled. "Of course. Tell me if that works, and I can come back with some more. Should only be a few weeks until your ribs heal naturally, right?"

After a few minutes of small talk, so Korra could seem less suspicious, she got up to leave.

"Thank you, Avatar Korra," Kuvira said.

"You're welcome, again."

"For everything."

Korra nodded. "Hopefully they'll let you out within our lifetimes. Maybe I'll have trained enough to beat you in a dual."

Kuvira smiled. "Hopefully."

"Feeling any different?"

Not enough to really notice yet. "Enough."

Korra smiled. "Maybe I'll be back, then."

Kuvira watched Korra disappear into the elevator shaft, the bridge disappearing with her, and although it was definitely the sake working on an unprepared mind and body, Kuvira felt better than she had in a while. She ran a hand through her hair and looked down at the little scar on right hand. There was a fair chance that Su and everyone from Zaofu would never forgive her, but there was still one person who had hope in her.

Some day, there might be two.

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><p><strong>AN: **I've been in love with Kuvira since the beginning of this season, and I'm surprisingly happy with how everything ended for her. So, hah, no alternative world or anything, just capitalizing on that awesome scene with Korra and Kuvira in the spirit world. Tell me what you think! :)


	2. A Light Touch

**A/N: **Well, I haven't been able to get this story out of my head, so I'll keep going. Hope y'all enjoy!

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><p>The worst part of the prison wasn't the isolation or darkness or the feeling that the cage was swaying when Kuvira closed her eyes, but every time the elevator doors opened and guards walked out. Kuvira was technically in "protected custody," an optimistic term for solitary confinement, and despite the fact the powers above decided a Hundred Year War-styled prison cell was better than anything modern or humane, there was still a need for so-called "amenities." Depending on how the guards were feeling, two to four times a day, they would come, open her cell door, slap platinum cuffs on her, and drag her off to take a shower, use the restroom, and get blinded by their little patch of outside they'd drop her in. She imagined she'd enjoy the time outdoors more if she wasn't still in such pain, but for the time being, her ribs still weren't healed, the empty, solid wood cell wasn't helping, and the guards were oblivious.<p>

Sometime after her first meal (one of the guards had mentioned it being morning), Kuvira watched as two guards strode across the bridge. She'd gotten through a complete mental decision to try to braid her hair, but had only managed to reach behind and stop because of the pain.

"Let's go, Great Uniter!" one of the guards said.

Working on a security force for years, Kuvira became an expert at identifying individuals even while in uniform, but she hadn't bothered to learn these guards' faces. Maybe her thoughts were elsewhere, or maybe she just wanted to dehumanize them as much as possible, giving her more room for the hatred coursing through her veins. Besides, they called her Great Uniter, so why should she call them by their names?

She hadn't slept well in what must've been a few days, and there was nothing enticing about being led outside her cell. She looked away, pretending she hadn't heard them. If only they hadn't already seen that she was awake, she could've pretended to be asleep.

The other guard opened the cell door, whistling to himself.

"C'mon, Empress, we can't even try today? Don't wanna lose motivation this soon into the sentence," the first guard said as he crossed his arms.

"I don't need to go," Kuvira answered. Let them interpret it as they wanted.

The whistling guard kept coming forward.

"It's shower day, and if anything, sweetheart, it's for us, not you," the first guard said.

Kuvira wondered if she made these guys' jobs difficult enough that they'd switch her into a cell where she could be more self sufficient.

"Just grab her, Suk," the first guard said to the whistling one.

Kuvira watched every step Suk took, but it didn't prepare her for what he did. He looked her up and down, brushed his hand off on his pants leg, and grabbed her bare hand.

_Don't touch me!_ It took everything in her to keep the thought in her head and keep her facade.

He pulled her up in one jerk, his force knocking the breath out of her, taking her from the floor to her feet without her moving a muscle. The pain surged, burning and aching, less like thousands of burning stakes going into her side and more like she was being ripped apart. She couldn't help it. She cried out in pain and fell like a rag doll into the guard's chest.

"Spirits, Suk, what'd you do to her? She's crying now!" the unnamed guard said, laughing.

Suk was still holding her hand. He wore gloves, but she could imagine the sweat and grime he kept within them. She could imagine what he did with those hands, what he was—what he was _doing to her right then._ He'd started with his grip like a handshake, but now he was interlacing his fingers with hers. She clenched her fists and tried to bring one to her ribs.

"Forgot to put the handcuffs on, too," the guard continued as he produced a pair of cuffs. "Hold her up while I put 'em on."

Suk could've used half his brain and grabbed Kuvira from under her arms, but Su and Lin had clearly picked these guys just to drive the _paying _point home, and the guard grabbed her by her waist. His meaty hand locked around her ribs and squeezed to keep grip.

If she wasn't already blubbering in pain, she started as he held her. This couldn't be her fate. She'd done some horrible deeds, but was this going to be the rest of her life?

"P-Please move your h-h-han—" she breathed.

"Done!" Nameless said, and Suk dropped her.

Kuvira could only assume they thought she could stand on her own.

"Forget this! Just grab one of her arms. Let Torma deal with her," Nameless said.

Each one took one of her arms, and with both of them being so much taller than her, they literally carried her with her feet off the ground the whole way there. The stretch did a number on her ribs, so she held her breath and tried to put as much weight onto her arms as she could. She thought about wrapping her legs around them to distribute the strain, but took the pain. Suk still held her hand, and he didn't need any more contact.

"I like you better in your prison garb," Suk whispered to her, as if the Nameless couldn't hear. "You show more skin. Your lover-boy must've had some view once that uniform came off."

She tried not to think about Baatar. Earlier on in their relationship, physical contact was as effortless as breathing, but each day Kuvira had to harden up for the campaign, the less loving everything became. What was once ruled by love and playfulness became an act to vent frustration. Besides, especially in the past several months, there wasn't much time anyway. Each of them had hardly slept, spent even less time in bed, even less time together alone in bed.

She closed her eyes, a memory of one of their few nights together nudging its way in. She tried to banish it, but indulgence won the instantaneous battle. It was a few years into rebuilding the Earth Kingdom, plans all set for the next day, a train bulleting toward one of the states in order to sign a contract. She'd already changed into her nightclothes and was removing her makeup when Baatar walked in. He'd taken the cloth she'd been using and tried to remove her eyeliner, only to smudge it all around her eye. She'd laughed, properly wiped off the makeup, and wiped the residue onto his cheek. She teased him, and he stopped her before she pulled out another with a kiss. She could still remember the way he tasted, the feeling of complete weightlessness and trust as he picked her up and dropped the two of them onto the bed, pillows scattering as they melted together.

To think it had been less than two years since that night, and here she was, injured, defeated, a monster rotting in prison, Baatar as far away as her parents.

Nameless and Suk handed Kuvira off to Torma, one of the few female guards, as if it'd make it any less humiliating to shower in front of a female over a male. Korra had come in twice more with the sake, and Kuvira'd almost gotten used to being numb before she showered, giving her enough strength to grit through showers without anyone's help. But, Korra hadn't come today, and Kuvira wouldn't be surprised if Suk set back whatever healing she'd gone through, so she might as well suck it up and face the inevitable now.

"Hey Torma, the mental anguish must've transferred to something physical today. The Great Uniter's going to need some help," Nameless said.

Suk and Nameless all but dumped Kuvira into Torma. Now in a woman's arms, it certainly felt less oppressive, but it also reminded her of that flash of a moment when Korra had held her after they were blasted into the Spirit World. It had been such a dizzying, unreal moment. It was so unreal because, in that moment, she had never felt so cared for and secure.

And there was no way in hell she'd ever tell Korra that. Not while she still had an ounce of her pride.

Then again, that was steading going down the drain.

Kuvira did what she could to remove her own clothing, but she didn't get very far. Torma did the rest, removing every article slowly and with the sort of gentleness one would expect from a compassionate human being.

Torma gasped after removing Kuvira's shirt.

"There's more bruising here than healthy skin. When did you get this?" Kuvira didn't answer. "I'll assume somewhere between falling out of the giant robot and being blasted into the Spirit World. C'mon, we should be able to make this quick."

There was no way Kuvira could stand, and at this point in her descent into a complete bottom feeder, there was substantial chance that she'd slip in the shower and break something else, so she cowered into a corner for its entirety. Torma lathered shampoo through her hair and spread soap onto the spots Kuvira couldn't reach, careful to be extra gentle on the bruised area. Kuvira said nothing, practically did nothing, feeling the burn in her cheeks and the knowledge that Torma could see how embarrassed Kuvira was in equal measures.

The guard left her at the very end, Kuvira able to spread the soap on her hands as little as she could and let the water pummel her clean. The water was cold to lukewarm, and she counted her blessings that they even gave her biweekly showers, but all she could think about was how she was sitting naked in a shower practically unable to move with a person being paid to help her waiting outside, who knew her body more than anyone Kuvira ever loved did.

Knowing the water would cover for her, she let the tears flow freely. She remembered the first time she'd cried in this prison. The guard who delivered her food made a comment about her smeared makeup. At least now the tear stains weren't visible. Just the damn bruises.

* * *

><p>Korra came in later that day, all smiles and liquid contraband as usual.<p>

"You look fresher, somehow," Korra commented.

"Shower," Kuvira answered.

Korra nodded. "Did you ask for that as a privilege or do they force you? Zaheer seemed so greasy when I saw him that I figured they didn't let prisoners have them."

Kuvira quirked a brow, and shook her head. "Is the Earth Em—Kingdom still standing?"

Korra laughed. "Yes. The states are still transitioning between your empire and Wu's proposed government, and I think it'll take a while, but it's on its way."

"What's he proposing?"

"A democracy."

How had that idiot come up with that? She hated to think she could give the prince credit. Korra looked down at the cup, still filled with water.

"This would be a lot easier if they gave you two cups." She played with the alcohol, removing it from the flask and whisking it around the cage, through the bars. "I talked to Lin the other day, and she said this isn't your permanent cell. Said it was your mental strength that made you the most dangerous, and that they wanted to truly beat you down before putting you into protected custody somewhere else. I guess they didn't believe your apology and wanted to make sure you weren't planning anything."

That should've relieved Kuvira, but all she could think about was that not only had Su not accepted her apology, but that she refused to believe that it had been genuine. It really shouldn't surprise her. Kuvira had seen how ballistic Su got when Aiwei betrayed Zaofu to the Red Lotus. Once someone seemed even a slight threat to Su and Su's Family, they were enemies through and through. To think Su could give pirates second chances, but not her own adoptive daughter.

"How long?" Kuvira asked.

"I'm not sure." Korra glanced over Kuvira's shoulder. "Is the shower in exchange for a blanket and pillow?"

Kuvira huffed. "Just give me the sake and go back to your friends outside. It's been a tough day."

Korra nodded. "Sure."

The Avatar did the same trick as last time, suspending the water in the air, transferred the sake into the cup, and waited until Kuvira had drunk to replace the water.

Kuvira thanked Korra, and Korra disappeared. The pain was duller than earlier that day, but it was constant, and just feeling it was exhausting. She'd definitely re-injured it that morning with those moronic guards; it hadn't hurt this bad in a while.

Too tired to move, she fell asleep right at the front of her cell.

She dreamt of Baatar and the soft touch he'd always used whenever his fingers brushed over her exposed skin. He'd understood her aversion to human contact even without a fully functional excuse and had taken time to gain her trust. She had loved him so much for it. She could still remember how it felt when he dug his hand into her nightshirt and ran his fingers up and down her side.

She awoke to that same side engulfed in pain. She opened her eyes and found Korra reaching into the cell, Kuvira's shirt pushed up and Korra's hand on her bruise.

"What are you doing?" Kuvira snapped as she startled away.

"Stop, I'm not done!" Korra whispered sharply.

"Don't ever do that again!"

Kuvira reminded herself that the guards must still be around if Korra was.

"Sorry. The guards were talking about how they had to drag you out of here today, and I remembered your ribs and I thought I could at least see if there's any more damage."

"There was a reason I wore gloves," Kuvira hissed.

"Sorry. Really, I just wanted to help. They've been broken again, if you wanted to know. Another few weeks to recover, and you can say the sake's working, but I know it's not proper pain medication. I could fix this right now."

Kuvira pulled her shirt down and put her hand over the area. "And then what? Don't you think the guards would notice that I'm suddenly healed or that you're touching me through the bars? I'm not getting more time because they think we're plotting an escape. Just leave it."

Korra stopped, and several moments passed in which Kuvira thought she had won. The dusty environment got to her, and she sneezed, resulting in the worst shot of pain since Suk nearly took her arm off.

"Okay, that's it, you're clearly out of your mind," Korra said.

Korra created a makeshift pair of handcuffs by freezing water connecting Kuvira's arm and legs to parts the bars. While Kuvira struggled, Korra reached inside the cell again, water covering one hand and the other lifting the bottom of Kuvira's shirt again.

"I can't wait to hear you thanking me," Korra muttered as she put her hand on the bruise.

Kuvira expected pain when Korra touched her, but the only feeling that lasted was that of the cold water hitting her skin. Then, it started to feel good. The ever-present stabbing pain began to dull. She felt something inside her reset. It was kind of miraculous.

Korra smiled a bit when Kuvira looked up at her. "It's incredible, isn't it? Earth's a very versatile element, but water has always had such a range to it for me. Makes me proud to be a water bender first."

When Korra removed her hand, the stabbing pain was completely gone, and it was only when she breathed that the dull pain returned.

"One of your ribs was about to stab your lung, so I reset that one. I just cleaned up the new damage for the new ones. Figured that's all Captain Kuvira would let me do."

As she spoke, she removed more water, formed it into a small disk, and froze it.

She handed it to Kuvira. "Maybe ice will work better than sake, at least until it melts."

Korra melted the ice shackles, cleaned up the water, and offer a smile.

"Next time, trade your shower for a pillow. I heard if you put it against your ribs when you breathe it lessens the pain."

As Kuvira watched Korra walk out, she knew there was no way to deny the Avatar's intentions.

There was also no way to deny how much Kuvira was looking forward to Korra returning.

She rubbed her temples and laid back down. That was enough for one day.


	3. Recovery

**A/N: **Whoa guys, thanks so much for all the favorites, follows, and reviews! I never thought this little fic would gain any following and that was I alone in my love for Kuvira and Korra's dynamic, but I guess you're all proving me wrong. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy chapter 3!

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><p>Korra's healing turned out to be the biggest blessing Kuvira could've received. She could change positions without being reduced to tears, she could sleep, and the knot in her stomach that came whenever the guards walked across that bridge loosened.<p>

The day after Korra healed her, the guards tossed a pillow and blanket into the cell along with the meal. She tested out Korra's advice and tried deep breathing with the pillow pressed into her ribs. It was probably more the healing than the actual pillow, but she took her first few deep breaths in weeks sitting in that cell.

She smiled to herself for the first time since being arrested. If the pain kept to this minimum, she may be able to start moving freely again within a few days. She could firm up the muscle she'd lost rotting in the cell; she could dance again. For the lifeless times she didn't have Korra for company, tuning out her thoughts with movement was all she could envision keeping her sane.

The next time the guards opened her cell door for a shower, she got to her feet without human assistance, only a hand wrapped around the bar. It wasn't Suk and Nameless, anyway, so they didn't take much notice. Just threw on the cuffs and escorted her to Torma. Still in a bit of pain and not wanting to make Torma suspicious, Kuvira let the guard remove her shirt for her and wash her hair. In a moment of detachment, she thought about those spa treatments Baatar had talked about before they wed. He said they ought to clean off the dust of battle before approaching a wedding bed. Once the guard finished that, Kuvira finished everything else. She may not be at peace, alone, or anywhere near as euphoric as she'd been building the Earth Empire, but she felt empowered. She smiled thinking how out of place it was in prison.

But, nothing compared to her first trip out into the yard with only the dullest of aches in her ribs. Nothing would be more of a sign that the universe had hope for her than if someone decided she'd be safe to toss around a few rocks. Of course, the next time she'd be standing above earth would be when she got out of prison, which very well could be never, so she'd have to go with the next best thing.

She got on the floor, palms, knees, and toes pressed into the ground. Normally, she wouldn't be caught dead doing modified push ups, but she knew the lack of pain didn't equal a fully healed injury, and she wasn't about to break a new rib being careless.

But, it didn't hurt. She pulled her knees up off the floor and lowered her body, forehead to the ground and back up. No pain. She could feel the lost muscle and knew she'd have to do some work to get back to what she could do before her injury, but she'd done it. She let her body go slack on the ground, took as deep a breath as she could manage without major pain, and returned to a push up position.

She worked until the soreness in her arms would've rivaled that in her ribs, stayed sprawled on the ground for a minute or two, and got to her feet. It wasn't as graceful as she wanted, but she got the job done. She swiped beads of sweat off her brow and looked to the end of the yard. Running may still be out of the question and look suspicious, but moving had become utterly addictive. Almost like she was returning to a normal human being.

She paced around the yard for the remainder of her outdoor time, working up a sweat and never feeling better.

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><p>The euphoria didn't fade. She returned to her cell and finally put her hair back into the braid she used to love so much. When the guards slid her meal into the cell, there was an actual desire to approach it.<p>

Kuvira was a little surprised that Korra hadn't commented on all the weight she'd lost while in prison. It really wasn't even a matter of the prison's food quality; as her mood plummeted, so did her appetite. She'd spent the first several weeks sleeping and lying against the wooden walls, so it wasn't like she needed that many calories.

But, this time was different. She could feel the gnawing ache of an empty stomach, and her mouth watered without even knowing what was on the tray. She crawled over to the tray and inspected its contents: a bowl of noodles, a couple slices of fruit, and the cup of water. She grabbed a slice of the fruit and took a bite. It wasn't ripe by any means, a bit too sour, but it brought back memories of those special occasions where Su would let her eat with her family. She finished off the fruit, untucked her legs from under her into a Lotus position, and put the bowl of noodles into her lap.

Deep down, she knew this would rank pretty low on meals of her life, but the noodles were still lukewarm and filling. Even if food wasn't going to make her whole again, at least she was beginning to feel more solid.

She spotted Korra through her peripheral vision, and considered stopping to greet her, but decided a nod would do.

"Wow, you look great," Korra commented as she sat down. "One week, and you're sitting up and eating? I'm going to have to tell Katara when I go back home. The guards thought you were on a hunger strike before. Waterbending's amazing, isn't it?" Kuvira moved to set the bowl down, but Korra stopped her. "Don't bother for me. I actually prefer this. I have a lot to tell you, and it's easier when you don't talk over me."

_Sounds familiar_, Kuvira thought as she continued eating.

"First things first: there are five sets of guards who watch over you and escort you. Their schedules are pretty rigid, so knowing the weekly schedule should help you out, know what to expect. For instance, right now, it's two guards named Nauja and Takumi. They take their jobs very seriously, so I'm not going to give you anything. But, I'll come by in three days and bring you some sake or tea or whatever you want." Korra smiled. "I can't imagine you're not up to learn all this place's tricks."

It was moments like these where Kuvira wished she could've met Korra in another lifetime; Korra knew how and when to execute, and Kuvira could create airtight plans anticipating even the smallest of hairs falling out of place. This little contraband exchange was just the beginning of what they could do together.

"The guards are supposed to check in on any of your visits every few minutes, but—"

"Two of the five sets don't," Kuvira answered.

Right on cue, a window facing the opening to Kuvira's cell opened and the two guards poked their heads out.

"Five minutes, Avatar Korra," one called out.

Once they shut the window, Korra leaned closer to Kuvira.

"Okay, so I saw Beifong, and got some information about your prison situation. It was this big ordeal figuring out where to put you, and it started before our fight. Su wanted to put you in a prison like what the Red Lotus members were put into because your crime was on the same level as theirs, but Raiko wanted you somewhere closer and viewed you more as a warlord over a straight murderer, and figured a more traditional prison would be more acceptable. Then, after you were arrested, they tried to re-weigh everything based on your surrender, but Su's prison still ended up winning out." Korra paused. "I know that's not what you want to hear, but I figured you'd want to know."

Kuvira nodded. No, it was disheartening at best, but that wasn't all. "I've seen almost all of this prison, and it's not equipped to effectively take care of medical emergencies or anything more serious than day-to-day living."

"I guess if you actually hurt yourself or got sick, they'd have to move you, but you also don't know what _that _facility would be like, and if it'd be any better."

Korra glanced back at the elevator, then at Kuvira. "Lift your shirt so I can see how your ribs are healing. I want to know what to bring for next time."

Knowing Korra wasn't going to drop it, Kuvira lifted her shirt just enough to show the wound. Korra looked back once more and lunged forward hand first. Kuvira cringed when their skin touched, and knew full well that it wasn't because it hurt.

"What did we agree to?" Kuvira hissed.

As quick as it came, Korra'a hand was gone. "I know, but I needed to see if everything was healing well internally." Korra furrowed her brow. "I still can't figure out if it's past trauma or if you're just against human contact."

Korra got to her feet. "See you later."

"Bye," Kuvira replied.

As she watched Korra leave, she wondered if she would tell Korra the story about her aversion to touching. It wasn't like her parents, for the eight years she knew them, were abusive. There were no later traumas while living in Zaofu. It had just always been. Lesser when she just a guard, but there.

No, she knew where it came from. It wasn't residue of trauma.

Or, not any physical trauma.

Back in Zaofu, she hadn't worn gloves. She'd accept hugs and hands on the shoulder from Su and the other Beifongs. She'd learned how to do her eye makeup from Su's tutorials. Sure, she wasn't touchy by any means, and her fighting style had evolved to her keeping her distance from her opponents, but that was an acceptable trait of metalbending. She had just mastered fighting through distance.

She could recall the moment she put her gloves on for the first time. The uniform was already an overwhelming sign that she'd become more than a makeshift peacekeeper and transitioned into something much bigger, but when she put those gloves on, she actually _felt _like a world leader. She'd had the tile of Leader of the Earth Kingdom, even if Provisional had come tacked to the front. Putting on those gloves, she wasn't Kuvira anymore. Gone was the scared little girl who felt worthless in the face of having been cast aside by two sets of parents, who thought that hard work and a bowed head were keys to love. Only the master metal bender and leader who vowed to protect and care for her abandoned people remained.

Baatar had noticed the slight difference in their uniforms right away, and noted it to her after their first day breaking in the uniforms. _So the leader does get her own special piece,_ he had said. She'd shrugged and said it completed the look, even offered to get him a pair, but they both knew she wouldn't replicate it. As long as she was the only one who maintained a persona, the persona would grow and engulf the scared little girl without her even trying. People would see Kuvira and know that she was a meticulously put together and collected leader.

She could keep her distance. Because, without that distance, who's to say someone wouldn't look long enough and see the scared little girl? She had to do more than never _displaying_ vulnerability; she had to _believe _that she had no vulnerabilities. She would step down to her soldiers' level, emphasize and share the same experiences, they'd shake her hand, feel the warmth of another human being, but she would not show them vulnerability, let them touch her actual skin. Since Baatar was the only person who knew Kuvira from her past, gloveless days, she didn't flinch or avoid his touch. There was nothing to hide with him. He knew about her childhood and understood as well as a boy with a loving family could.

So, maybe, yes, taking away those gloves was as simple as taking away her mask. She was already uncomfortable enough under Korra's touch, and even if she wished she could've savored that moment of comfort the Avatar had given her in the Spirit World, she hadn't, it was over, and her defenses were up to stay. The guards couldn't do anything short of getting Su to accept her back into the family so she could marry Baatar to gain her approval, let alone her trust. The fact that the guards had treated her like some sexual object with their touch only made it all the more revolting.

_If Korra would just tell me…_

No. No, not even if Korra told her in advance. She could envision a friendship down the line with Korra, but not the kind of intimate friendship where touch played a role. Kuvira would only let Korra touch her in order to heal her, nothing more.

_She's already held you in her arms and watched you cry. She might as well be on the same level as Baatar_, she thought.

As painful as memories of Zaofu were, memories of all her interactions with Korra were beginning to hurt even more. But, it wasn't scorned that she felt, but guilty. Kuvira had taunted Korra when she was at her lowest, engaging her in a battle for no more than the amusement of her soldiers. She'd smiled and laughed at the Avatar's pain, as if she hadn't felt that exact helplessness within her lifetime. Then, when Korra saved her as the Colossus went down, Kuvira's reaction had been to launch a rock at Korra's face and shoot her with a super weapon. She shouldn't have given Kuvira mercy.

No, she'd held an injured Kuvira in her arms, gave her comfort instead of rubbing it in. Somehow, it had been the most honest comfort she could remember. Baatar would have his many moments of affection, but there was always the tension of sex and romantic love, and they had never suffered together to see what that kind of comfort would look like. Su had given her affection in her early days in the family, but if one of the other kids needed her, she would put them first, whether it be in cutting a hug short to unscramble the twins or not maintaining eye contact, lost in thought when Kuvira confined in her.

All it pointed to was that Kuvira needed to be more appreciative before the Avatar abandoned her as well.

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><p><strong>AN:** Alright, cool, I got to go a little more in depth on the touching thing. What with this being a Kuvira redemption/introspection piece, I'm sure the issue will come up again, but I hope you guys liked the chapter overall. Sorry for the length. :P

Thanks all for reading, and see you next time!


	4. The Platinum Ring

**A/N: **Hope everyone had a happy holidays, and I guess consider this a late Christmas present? Early new year's present? Not sure.

TW: self harm

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><p>Two days until Korra returned, and Kuvira continued to craft her inner peace, now doing pull ups using the ceiling of her jail cell. She only worked out when she knew there wouldn't be anyone coming in for a while. She couldn't say for sure, but if the guards who brought her food knew she was strong enough to work out, they might limit her food to keep her from being strong enough to break out, as if she could get out of that wooden cage without her bending.<p>

So, to say she was surprised to see the elevator door opening while she was mid-pull up would've been an understatement. She dropped down, stumbling a bit, but still landing on her feet.

It wasn't a guard who stood at the start of the bridge.

It was Lin and Su.

She shook her head, unable to believe it. What would Su be doing here? Had she finally come to her senses and was about to accept Kuvira's apology?

(No, then she wouldn't be with Lin.)

She wasn't…being moved, was she? No, nothing had changed, and she hadn't done anything to get out of the wooden cage. She came up with a dozen different scenarios, avoiding the one that would hurt the most to have proven wrong: that Su was back to say that what had happened when Kuvira got arrested was just her emotions getting the better of her.

They got within five feet, Su with her arms crossed and jaw clenched, Lin standing much looser. Lin pushed Su forward with one hand.

"Go ahead," Lin said.

Su's face relaxed, and she walked the remaining few feet to Kuvira's cell. She peered in, looked right at Kuvira, but it was like she wasn't looking at person. She looked the way people look at piles of overflowing trash on the street.

"She's not injured. Tell the warden that he's out of his mind," Su said.

They…came here to see if she was injured?

First off, why were they suddenly concerned for her so-called injuries after months here? Wouldn't they have noticed if there was a problem weeks ago? A doctor had checked her, and said broken ribs healed on their own. That couldn't be the only reason.

"That's not why you're here, and either way, you can't tell if she's injured based on _looking_ _at her_," Lin retorted.

Su pivoted to look back at Lin. "If you came here to watch a heartfelt reunion, just get the information you want and we can leave."

"No, I'm tired of you lashing out at your family, and as much as you think you're angry at Baatar Jr., you're really angry at your protege here. So get it out. She's right here."

"Fine." Su looked back to Kuvira. "You want to say anything else? Say again how sorry is going to fix you attempting to murder my son, nearly using my daughter as target practice on a super weapon, hurting and threatening all those people along the way? Or do you have some magical ability to take it all back, return everything to how it used to be, when I still cared about you?"

It was like the world had washed away.

Kuvira felt a lump rise in her throat. "You cared about me?"

Su had never really been explicit about it, even all those years living in her house...

"Keyword _cared_, Kuvira. Yes, you _were _my protege, and I would've happily had Baatar Jr. ask for your hand in marriage, but you had to feel like an exotic bird and took out your anger onto the Earth Kingdom and my innocent children. If you had such a problem with me, you should've just come to me directly. I didn't forgive Aiwei after he helped the Red Lotus, and you're delusional if you think I'll ever forgive the monster who was willing to kill my children and the innocent for a power trip."

She could protest, say that she never meant for any of that to happen, that she could make it up to Su, that she truly loved Baatar Jr. and wanted to still be a part of the family, but what would it all be worth?

Kuvira stayed silent, and sat under Su's gaze, no less critical and angry than when she first got arrested.

"To think how much better shape the Earth Kingdom would've been in if I hadn't taken you in."

The jab went to right to her heart, the pain so real Kuvira swore her ribs started hurting again. Tears burned in her eyes, but she wasn't about to let Su see her cry. But, as she opened her eyes, she had to wipe them with the back of her hand. Su was still looking at her, the same anger in her face, but something different in her eyes. Before Kuvira could figure out what, Su walked away.

Lin stepped forward. "Su's never been all that compassionate, more like our mom than I am. Can also hold a grudge like nobody's business. Don't kill yourself trying to win her back. So, the guards were saying that you could barely walk a few weeks ago. Have your ribs gotten better or do I need to call in a doctor?"

"No need for a doctor."

"Try not to get the guards riled up, then. I have my own work to get done."

Lin tapped the wood a couple times, nodded toward Kuvira, and walked away.

She managed to wait until both Beifongs had left before letting the tears really flow.

What was the point in denying it anymore? Su was never going to forgive her. Even if Baatar wanted to see her again, he'd be swept away by his loving family. Besides, if Baatar wanted to see her, wouldn't he have come by now? At least written a letter.

She was alone. Her adopted family was never coming back. Her fiance was never coming back. Her supporters were either hiding in the shadows or in jail, and she couldn't keep track of them even if she wanted to because she was stuck in a wooden cage. No amount of healing, gaining back muscle, and forming a new outlook on life would change the fact that she was going to spend the rest of her life in this wooden cage, never to redeem herself, get married, have children, or anything in between. Korra could visit all she wanted, but that wasn't going to change.

She laid down, tucking herself into the blanket, and shut her eyes. If only she could shut her eyes and stay asleep until the end of her prison sentence. Or her life. Whichever came first.

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><p>She woke up by a knock on her cell and the sound of a tray being slid towards her. She considered turning the food down, but if there was anything clear in her life, it was that turning down that food wouldn't be a grand gesture of her inner pain, but Kuvira throwing herself a pity party. She might be accepting some hard truths, but she refused to be pathetic.<p>

Rather, more pathetic than she'd already become. She wasn't some abandoned eight-year-old girl anymore, and didn't, shouldn't need the love of Suyin Beifong to live her life. It'd be close to impossible to fully convince herself that it didn't devastate her that Su had rejected her like that, but needed to start accepting it. If she couldn't live out her sentence waiting to be welcomed back into the Beifongs' arms, she'd need something new to focus on.

She lost a lot rotting in that cell, but she would not lose her motivation. So she couldn't get Su to forgive her, and would assume she couldn't do the same for Baatar. She had something new to replace it:

She was getting out of this prison.

No, not escaping her punishment. She still owed it to the people she hurt to serve out her sentence. But, she was getting out of this wooden cage.

For the next several hours, while eating, exercising, and pacing, she came up with her plan.

Korra was supposed to visit the next day, and her shower was the day after that. Most likely, Kuvira could convince Korra to give her a block of ice, say her ribs were still sore. It wasn't completely untrue. From there, she'd use it to bruise up her ribs again. If it wasn't enough, she'd "fall" in the shower. All she needed was a bad enough injury get sent to a different facility.

As she ironed out as many kinks in the plan as she could, she thought about what Korra had said, how she didn't know if the prison they'd send her to would be any better. But, honestly, was there anything worse than this cage?

_They could prevent you from having visitors. They could put you in chains. You know what they did to the Red Lotus._

Yet, was she really similar to them? If she managed to get out of this prison, it wouldn't be because she tried to break out, it would be because she hurt herself.

_And once you heal, won't they just send you right back?_

Would the few weeks she could spend outside of this prison be enough, or would she end up craving more? _Just like with the Earth Empire…_

She shook her head; completely different situations. She just needed to get out of here for a little bit, so she could stop imagining Su Beifong walking down the bridge so she could crush Kuvira's heart over and over again. _And you wonder why I became who I was—_

No, she couldn't think like that. She had made so much progress ever since she and Korra were blasted into the Spirit World. She wanted to be the good person she'd started out as, and a major part of that was not glorifying or trying to justify any of the horrors she committed. She wanted to become a hero again someday, and it wouldn't come from living in the past.

The past.

It almost made the Beifong clan and Zaofu all seem irrelevant if she were truly trying to reform herself and move on. The only person encouraging her transformation was Korra and she ought to focus the majority of her attention on what Korra taught her, now not what Suyin Beifong had once taught her.

Hours must've passed because when she looked down at her tray, the food was different. She then realized they hadn't put chopsticks with it.

Right on schedule, two guards Kuvira didn't recognize exited the elevator, one holding the utensils they usually gave her.

"…And then I found out that my husband lied, that my engagement ring wasn't made of platinum at all! Can you believe the nerve?"

Kuvira rolled her eyes. Even Baatar, who had the least sense of aesthetics of his whole family, had managed to pick out a platinum band. She always hated it how they had taken that ring away from her; even she couldn't bend platinum.

She looked back up at the unhappy wife and noticed she wore earrings. Not many guards bothered, and if they did, it was a requirement that they were made of platinum. If this guard's husband had lied about the platinum ring, was it possible that he had lied about the earrings too?

Using the gentlest touch of metal bending, she slid the back off the left earring.

Her eyes widened as she heard the faint clack of the back hitting the wood bridge.

The guard was wearing another metal. Kuvira…Kuvira finally had a piece of her power back.

She slid the back off the bridge, underneath the cage, and in through an opening in the back bottom. It was metal, but it was also tiny, not big enough for what Kuvira now had on her mind. She looked up at the guard, who was still blissfully unaware. Could she get an earring off this woman without her noticing? Everything she could think of said yes. Women lost earrings all the time, and only great metal benders like herself would notice. This guard had clear Fire Nation features. It was a good chance.

Now, how to distract the guard enough for her not to notice her earring coming off.

The guard got down on her hands and knees and reached her hand through the slit in the bottom, handing Kuvira off the chopsticks. Kuvira reached for the chopsticks and knocked the steaming bowl of ramen right into the guard's hand. She shrieked, pulling her hand away.

"Sorry," Kuvira muttered as she removed the earring.

The guard cradled her hand into chest and watched as Kuvira set the bowl back upright, some of its contents not quite making it back in.

"No compensating for any spills," the guard muttered as she collected her pride and walked off.

In the time it took the guards to get out, Kuvira played dumb, eating whatever was left of her meal knowing she had an earring and its back lying on the floor of her cell. Once they left, though, Kuvira was reborn. She snatched control of the metal and slammed the two pieces together in front of her face. After reattaching the pieces, she melted them into whatever shapes she could form. If she wanted maximum length, she'd have to settle for a narrow point, more needle than knife. She tried again, forming a a tiny square blade with the dimensions of her thumbnail. Might not cut deep enough. She shaped it into a sort of teardrop shape. Kuvira wished she had more metal, but this should get the job done.

She took the blade, held out her left wrist, and dug it into the skin. She cringed as the pain shot through, but it was definitely manageable. She slid the blade back and forth until she had a sizable, deep cut. She pulled the blade out and flexed her fingers. No loss of circulation, meaning she didn't hit anything that important. Good. Only problem was she wasn't bleeding enough to give the impression that her traditionally cry for help cuts were an actual suicide attempt. She started slashing her right wrist, and the blood gushed at about the same rate. She took a deep breath and set her wrists out in front of her, cutting both with single slices, back and forth. Cut wounds were getting wider, but the blood just wasn't going to be sufficient. She had to look like she was nearly bled out, and actually passing out would be a plus. Damn the iron stomach of a soldier.

What part of the body bled the most when cut? Where could she possibly hide said cut?

The scalp.

She sliced across her scalp, deep enough to hide the cuts within her hair but close enough to her forehead that it'd be easily accessible. Then, _then_, the blood started gushing. She put her injured wrists to her scalp and smeared the blood on.

It felt like she'd left her body as she collected the blood, swiping it off her eyebrows every time streams would nearly make it into her eyes.

Now, for passing out. There was some trick Wing and Wei had learned for one of their little games they used to play. Su had hated it, banned them from playing it the moment she found one of them passed out as the other laughed. They'd explained it to Kuvira and asked her to try it, but she declined. Curiosity hadn't overtaken common sense at the time. If only she could remember it. It was something about standing up quickly and breathing with one's thumb in one's mouth. No, it started with one of them crouching down…

She remembered the exact trick. After swiping one last line of blood out of her eyes, she crouched down, put her head between her knees, and breathed deeply. She glanced up, sure the guards weren't watching her at that exact moment. Didn't seem so.

She inhaled, stood up, and stuck her thumb into her mouth, sealing off any oxygen she could possibly get. As she tried to breathe, she had one thought, and one thought alone:

_Please don't let Korra see me like this._

For once, it wasn't to guard her pride, but rather out a tiny well of shame.

Everything went black, and she didn't even get to hear her own body hit the floor. The blade was in her hand, digging into her skin.

The guards would talk about it for weeks, how they came in to take the Great Uniter's tray and found her passed out, soaking in her own blood, a metal blade that could cost them their jobs in her hand.

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><p><strong>AN: **Can't have all fun and games with poor Kuvira. :P Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter. Keep reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following; this fic is making the end of Korra quite easier for me, and I hope it's doing the same for you. :)


	5. A New Room

**A/N: **Alright, no worries, guys, it doesn't really get violent from here on out. Hope you enjoy!

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><p>Kuvira regained consciousness as the guards hoisted her onto a stretcher, probably no more than a minute after passing out. Neither of the two guards saw her wake up, so she closed her eyes and played the part. She was still bleeding, but she didn't have the luxury of wiping away any blood this time. The blade was out of her hand, but a new cut took its place.<p>

She must've fallen asleep while pretending to be out cold, because she woke up in a white room surrounded by medical supplies, looking up at a nurse and Lin.

She inspected her wrists, and they'd been bandaged up, her arms restrained to the bed. There was nothing left of her scalp wound but a faint sense of itchiness.

"You're lucky," Lin said. "Your cuts didn't cause any permanent nerve damage, but I suppose you chose your cuts based on keeping your bending." Kuvira furrowed her brow. "Don't give me that. You might have the White Lotus guards in that forsaken prison and President Raiko believing your stunt, and if I wanted to, I could even tell Su next time I want to jab her that she caused you to attempt suicide with that line about you being an orphan, but you can't fool me." Lin turned to the nurse. "She need you any longer?"

The nurse shook her head. "It was more of a big mess than anything, and she's all cleaned up."

"Welcome to suicide watch," Lin said as she slapped on the platinum cuffs once the bed restraints came off.

Kuvira got herself out of bed and rolled her shoulders back, both to loosen up the tense muscle and to let Lin know that she had guessed right.

"You know, sometimes, when I look at my half-destroyed office, I think about what would've happened if you hadn't grown high off power and just stepped down. I'm sure as an Earth Kingdom citizen, you knew what the Kyoshi metal meant. You knew how much the world leaders owed you, and a hog monkey could've figured out what kind of an idiot Prince Wu was at the coronation. It amazes me how you never realized that you were one of our first candidates to serve as an advisor under the prince's rule."

"I don't regret turning down the opportunity to become a puppet master for a brat who was more concerned with the jewels he couldn't have than his own people. I took the enforcement the wrong way, but I don't regret standing up for the people and risking my own good graces with the world's leaders for it."

"All I mean to say is that I would've _loved _having someone as efficient and smart as you playing a major role in world affairs. But, that isn't the case. No, the smartest person in a gaggle of idiots placed in law enforcement uniform is the war criminal who faked a suicide attempt to change her surroundings. Or spite Su. Didn't have enough time with you conscious to figure it out."

In truth, Su had spoken wonders about Lin all of Kuvira's life, and she held Lin in high regard as well. She hadn't even really minded when Lin had dismissed Kuvira's behind the scenes work following Zaheer nearly kidnapping Korra. At times, Kuvira wished the timing had been better, so she could've gotten to know Lin better before leaving Zaofu. Kuvira had done a lesson or two with Toph early on (in which Toph had found Kuvira metal bending one of Su's meteorites and had called Su off for not including Kuvira in the lessons she was giving Wei and Wing), and she'd always appreciated Toph's no nonsense attitude. Lin had always reminded Kuvira more of the Beifong matriarch, and recently, Lin had grown back in favor with Kuvira.

So, she didn't really mind that Lin knew about the fake out. It made her respect her a little more.

"Can you really blame me? It was the guard."

Lin's face twisted up in even more pent up rage. "And that damn guard is the epitome of this entire idiotic situation. How do you not know that you're wearing metal on person? How had none of those guards noticed? They might as well have been giving you a metal tray with all your meals. Rest assured, you aren't going back there, and neither is anyone for a while."

She supposed she could mark the stunt as a success, then? Given a bit more time in the nurse's station and she may have even felt bad for causing those guards to get fired, but her mind was elsewhere, eyes glued to the new surroundings of her new prison as they passed through hallways lined with administrative offices, guards in black uniforms brushing past them, occasionally nodding towards Lin. The facilities were much cleaner, almost shinier, it seemed. Definitely a building from this century.

Kuvira's new cell lay at the end of a hall of solitary confinement cells, slits at eye and floor level the only signs of their existence. She knew Lin Beifong wasn't going to take any more chances, but she lightly kicked the toe of her shoe against the door as Lin produced the keys. She couldn't feel the metal within, and guessed it was made of platinum. Already a step up from wood.

Lin opened the door and let Kuvira walk in. It was a little smaller than the apartment she had back in Zaofu, with a twin bed, a bookshelf, a table with two chairs, and small mirror on the wall. Another door was tucked into the corner. Everything was made of wood, but the bedding was a sea blue, the walls cream. It really was almost like an apartment.

Lin opened up the other door, revealing a shower, sink, and toilet jammed inside. An entire wall of the room was made of mirror.

"You see the mirror?" Lin said. Kuvira nodded. "That's two-way glass. Same with the one outside. In the original plan, once we were finished negotiating your prison sentence, we were going to throw you in here anyway. But, in light of your mental instability, President Raiko and Prince Wu would have nothing less than around the clock surveillance of your condition until you've stabilized. You'll be under intense scrutiny for the first seventy-two hours, and after that, you'll be allowed visitors, and anything they bring to you will be screened."

"Understood."

Lin removed the handcuffs and slammed the door as she left.

She looked around the room again, gaze skipping over the mirror, and moved to the bed. It felt heavenly to have an actual mattress under her again, but she couldn't ignore how much this place reminded her of Zaofu and how much it hurt. If she closed her eyes, if the bookshelf had a few more books and art pieces, she could've been back home in Zaofu. Amazing how she'd felt so trapped there; imagine how _Captain _Kuvira would've felt sitting in this jail cell.

* * *

><p>The first seventy-two hours went by in a blur, Kuvira spending most of her time curled up in bed and flipping through the books they gave her. They'd given her a felt-tipped pen to go with the paper on the desk, and the best she could do was draw pictures, not write letters, as if she had anyone to write to. She thought about her fake suicide attempt over and over again, unsure if it was really worth it. Pragmatically, it was one of her worse decisions, closer to the vein of "acting without really thinking things through," as Korra had said back in the spirit flower bed. But, was it regrettable? Not necessarily. She couldn't tell if Lin had been bluffing about the surveillance only existing because Kuvira had slit her wrists. It could've been in place regardless. She was a high profile war criminal, after all. It would only make sense that Republic City claimed to have locked her up in a high security cell, and having the twenty-fourseven watch accomplished both the humane angle and the thorough angle to Kuvira's imprisonment. Most likely, they had been lying.

So, really, the only thing Kuvira had brought upon herself was having to lie in this cell with the lights on twenty-four/seven without visitors. She set the book she'd been looking at, some old history of Omashu book, and stared at a spot on the wall. She thought about what Lin had said, how she would've used Kuvira's suicide attempt as a means to hurt Su. She wondered if Su would've _really _felt bad about the orphan comment.

She sighed; no seemed more plausible. So long as Su didn't contact her, she'd assume Su still hated her.

The only person whose reaction she couldn't predict would be Korra's. Would Korra feel bad for her, or would she see through the suicide attempt like Lin had?

The slit at the bottom of the door slid open and a letter flew through. Kuvira furrowed her brow and grabbed the letter. Who would be writing to her? Korra would've just come herself, especially with the seventy-two hour period up, so who did that leave? She'd be delusional to think anyone from the Metal Clan would be writing to her, and there was no way they'd be letting her read any fan letters from Earth Empire supporters.

But, before she could get a good look at it, a guard announced that she had a visitor.

Korra.

She walked in with less pep in her step, but still kept that smile on her face.

"Hey," Korra said.

"Hey," Kuvira replied, shuffling away the letter.

Korra hesitated, starting to say a few words, but never finishing a full sentence. She sighed. "I heard things have been rough."

Kuvira nodded.

"You want to talk about it, or would you like me to tell you about something else?"

"There's not much to say about what happened to me."

Korra nodded. "Well, okay." She bit her lip. "The security in here is quite a lot tighter, but I'll still try to bring in tea or snacks."

Kuvira thought about replying with a snarky comment, but it felt unfair to the one person who was treating her like a semi-human being. "I'd appreciate it."

Korra twisted her chair around and straddled it, elbows on the table. "Do they let you have newspapers in here?"

Kuvira shrugged. "I haven't asked, but I'd expect they would." She paused. "Why?"

"Wu isn't even Ba Sing Se yet; they still hold you in such high regard for what you did for their city, and they're dubious about another royal even stepping foot back into the city." She paused. "It'll be weird to see how they write it in the history books. Not even the Hundred Year War was clean cut, and Firelord Ozai was a ruthless tyrant."

Kuvira raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to assure me that I won't be forced into exile if I ever even get out of here?"

"I'm not the only one who doesn't see a ruthless dictator." She paused. "Will you be honest with me?"

Kuvira's stomach twisted. "Depends."

"Did you really attempt suicide, or was it just to get out of the wooden box?"

She couldn't deny the shame anymore; it spilled out of her sticky and hot, and she didn't dare make eye contact with Korra. Spirits, it sounded so stupid now that she was forced to say it out loud. What had she done? "Su visited, and after she left, I knew I had to do something. That I had to distract myself or risk sinking back into the depression I started out with."

"And…cutting yourself was a good way to counteract feeling horrible?"

Kuvira felt her ears go hot.

"It worked in a roundabout way." She lightly kicked the leg of her table. "I'm happier here. I don't regret what I did to get here. I won't be insulted if you leave now and never come back. I'm sure I look like a pretty helpless case."

Korra shrugged. "We cope in some weird ways. Su taking you out of her life may be just as traumatizing to you as my battle with Zaheer was to me."

"I wouldn't say that—"

"But it hits deep. I can't blame you if you weren't thinking rationally." She smiled. "And as for me giving up on you now, that wouldn't be serving your punishment, now would it? I'm not leaving until you trust me enough to explain to me what the hell happened in the three years I was away and what my fight with Zaheer looked like from your perspective."

As undeniable as it was that this was going to be her new home, Kuvira began to finally realize that Avatar Korra would be as much a part of this as the chair she sat in. Not even faking a suicide attempt, which could be considered absolutely insane by most people, wasn't phasing Korra. Part of Kuvira wanted to ask Korra the exact same question, what _she'd _gone through in those three years. How had Korra gone from the headstrong young woman who had faced Zaheer to the broken woman whom Kuvira had nearly killed to the person who had jumped in front of a spirit beam, risking both her own life and the Avatar Cycle to save Kuvira's life?

She couldn't deny it anymore. Kuvira wanted to talk to Korra as much as Korra wanted to. She was unbelievably relieved to hear that Korra wanted to come back.

Not even thinking about the letter she had received, she replied, "The highlight was nearly having my shoulder get ripped out by saving your father. A month later, I actually had my shoulder ripped out saving someone else."

Korra smiled. "Tell me about it."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Alright, some new surroundings, a consistent Korra, and Kuvira may be growing just as interested in Korra's company as Korra is. Who wrote the letter? Will Lin ever be able to stop projecting her anger at not having Detectiveson with her onto her inmates and guards?

Hope everyone is having a great last few days of 2014.


	6. The Girl in the Sling

Weeks continued to pass with Kuvira reduced down to exercise, reading, and pretending that her new set of guards weren't watching her twenty-four/seven. Korra's visits had gone from a highlight of the week to something she genuinely looked forward to, like metalbending lessons when she was a kid.

Korra walked in empty handed that week.

"Hey, so I realized that I forgot the Pai Sho board, so I'm going off on a limb here: want to exercise together? I don't know, if I were stuck in here, I'd miss training, but maybe you were a solitary trainer anyway…"

She hadn't exercised with anyone since her days as a dancer; Baatar didn't like Kuvira showing him up, so they never exercised together.

She looked to Korra, unsure of what to say. Part of her yearned for that bit of nostalgia and a different pace, but she still wasn't comfortable with showing Korra too much vulnerability. Besides, it felt…intimate. If not for Korra, for her.

"I don't know if we're…close enough yet."

"C'mon, it's not like I'm marrying you," Korra joked.

They started with something simple that involved neither of them touching.

"I saw you're front page news," Kuvira said right before they started their first set of planks.

"In a newspaper?"

"A gossip magazine."

Korra laughed. "You read those?"

Kuvira rolled her eyes. "I asked for a newspaper, and apparently these guards are so depraved that they got a kick out of giving me something else."

"What'd the magazine say?"

Kuvira waited until her still underworked core stopped shaking. "That you and the CEO of Future Industries are dating."

Kuvira caught the Avatar blushing. "Sound reporting."

"I never knew you were—"

"Bi?"

"Dating within your team."

"Oh, well, I've technically dated everyone in my group of friends. Being too close for too long does that." Korra smiled. "I mean, you dated within your inner circle."

"One person."

"That's enough for my point."

Kuvira focused back on the plank. "We were childhood friends. He was awkward and antisocial, and I was the only girl he saw on a regular basis aside from his sister and mother. It was bound to happen."

"Well, I like to think Asami and I were bound to happen."

"How long have you known her? Just since the Equalist movement?"

"You know about that?"

"We get news in Zaofu. Besides, Su was concerned for Lin when the revolution got out of hand, and she'd be talking about it every time I talked to her."

"Yeah, Asami and I met then." Korra paused. "But, we sort of met as romantic rivals. She started dating Mako when I still had this huge crush on him."

Kuvira raised a brow. "And you two didn't kill each other?"

They dropped their plank and Korra rolled into a sitting position. "It got a _bit _hairy, but we never really blamed each other as much as we blamed Mako. And, by the time the air benders came back, we were good friends." She paused. "It felt good to have a girl friend, and I guess it just developed past that. Sit ups?"

Kuvira sighed; she supposed she owed Korra some trust for all she'd done. "Sure."

When Korra didn't move, Kuvira took the sit up position and Korra leaned her weight onto Kuvira's feet. It felt so strange having a human's warmth on her again. It reminded her of her friends in Su's dance troupe, a sort of distant comfort. She ought to start dancing again soon.

"When did you and Baatar Jr. get together?"

She hadn't thought about it in a while. In fact, she still hadn't read that letter, and the best bet she could give was that it was from Baatar venting his emotions. She was almost ready to admit that she was scared to open it.

"The…attraction was there all through the initial planning to leave Zaofu, but we never acted upon anything. There was just too much to do. We formally got together after we secured Ba Sing Se. There was a celebration, he asked me to dance, and kissed me on the floor. It was before I started adapting to the obstacles involved in the campaign. But, it wasn't long after. We kept any affection behind closed doors. I had to maintain appearances, and romance would be an obvious sign of vulnerability."

The burn of the sit ups felt so good; she could almost ignore how she had never talked about Baatar with anyone. "I think it just makes you human. More relatable."

"Bandits don't respond kindly to 'relatable.'"

Korra smiled. "They rip your shoulder out of its socket?"

Kuvira couldn't help but smile at the memory. "And Baatar leaves the room, leaving a soldier to help me pop it back in."

"Did Baatar even go into battle?"

"No. He created, not fought. There would've been no reason to risk his life in the squabbles to unify the Earth Kingdom. He liked to keep fit, though."

"But you were always stronger than him, right?"

"Yes."

"Did he have a hard time with it?"

"Did Mako?"

Korra started laughing, and Kuvira only resisted because she was mid-sit up.

"I brought up Asami so you'd be talking," Kuvira said. "Let's switch."

They switched, and Korra brought the conversation back. "Well, we just decided to go on vacation after Varrick's wedding."

"Varrick survived?"

There was a long silence. "The Hummingbird you destroyed had Asami's father in it."

One more life she completely and utterly destroyed while drunk on power. It had been semi-okay thinking Varrick had died because he didn't actually have anyone who relied on him or really cared about him besides Zhu Li, who assumedly had died with him.

"I'll ask you to tell her that I'm sorry, but it wouldn't mean much now."

"She never begrudged the triad that killed her mother, so I imagine she'll come around eventually."

"Did you…tell her about visiting me?"

Korra exhaled. "No. Our relationship is still so new, and I don't want to ruin the dynamic we've got right now."

"By lying to her? Where does she think you go once a week?"

"Visiting with Beifong." Korra glanced at the mirror on the wall. "It's technically true."

"Take it from me: just tell her and accept the tension. If she really loves you, she'd understand why you're doing what you're doing."

Korra smiled. "You just want me to keep coming."

She looked away. "You're the one coming in each week."

"Also, should I really be taking relationship advice from someone whose proper breakup is shooting her fiancé with a spirit weapon?"

"He knows it wasn't him, it was about the nation. It's children over lovers." She focused on a spot on the wall. "And his survival wasn't meant to be part of the equation."

"Have you talked to him?"

Korra might've become a friend, but she wasn't even ready to talk about Baatar with herself. "I thought we were talking about Asami."

"I mean, it's going well. Not sure what you're looking for." Korra paused. "Do you know if there was a point where you had to change how you went about uniting the Earth Kingdom? I just have this memory of you being this nice, obedient, kind of peppy worker of Su's."

She ignored the backhanded question. "During a clash in one of the smaller neighboring towns around Ba Sing Se. It had been a month or so of success, but every area would have villagers who tried to work against me because they feared the bandits more than they trusted me to help. I'd get called awful names, attacked, everything, but I tried to keep it as humane as possible, never doing more than blocking their attacks and hoping our actions would speak loud enough to get through to them. But, not this one town. Its people had been starving, children piled into a single makeshift hospital dropping from a sickness that's had a cure for years. The bandits had moved into town, and it was so clear who they were; they'd sit around on deserted streets gambling and drinking, taking their bursts of violence out on anyone who was unlucky enough to pass by. The first thing we did was promise our protection and supplies for as long as they needed them. People had come out, and I could tell that they wanted to be helped, but were too scared of the bandits.

"At the time, I had sustained my second major injury since beginning the campaign, and my left arm was in a sling, so I put my uniform on over it, stuffed the sleeve and put a glove on with it. It went well at first: I've mastered metalbending enough to where I'm fine working with one arm and earthbending at my feet. But, there was this one band of bandits that refused to back down. I tried the nice way one last time with this particularly burly man who had taken up leadership. We seemed to be getting somewhere, but he attacked me out of the blue, ripping my jacket open as I was shot down. The sling became visible, and he started laughing, saying it's clear that I couldn't handle what I'd done before and that he would never relinquish his power to a little girl. That he'd rather the people starve and die than let me win. He tried attacking again, and something just…changed. All the emotion I'd been holding onto, that had kept everything so clean, just slipped off.

"I pulled off a few layers of sheet metal off my uniform, wrapped it around his neck, and raised him off the ground to choke. I told him to remember to remember the hurt little girl as he died. He begged for mercy, tried every trick in the book. My second-in-command told me to let him go, but as I considered it, he told me that all I was doing was distracting myself as his group attacked and that I was just as weak as he thought. I snapped, crushed his windpipe, and set the bloody metal back onto my uniform."

She paused, studying Korra. The Avatar didn't reveal any judgement either way, simply engrossed in the story. The exercising had stopped.

"After that, I thought in a bigger picture, and less about the individual lives of the bandits as they fell or scattered. My reputation preceded me, and eventually, everything they said about the Great Uniter became true, the good and bad." Kuvira paused. "I just never expected the bad to end up so bad."

There were another few moments of silence. "So you killed a guy, what, three times your size, with a broken arm? Who taught you to do that? All those coercing moves with metalbending?"

She paused. "I learned them myself. Su's guard didn't encourage violence."

Korra nodded. "I wouldn't blame you for killing that guy. Especially if the tension had been mounting for a while."

"Don't humor me if you have to lie."

"I'm not lying."

"Korra, stop. I know how this works. I should've never lost my cool and killed that man. If I hadn't done that, maybe I could've done good by your absence and fixed the Earth Kingdom, stepped down and accepted that metal…"

Korra shook her head. "I talked to Bolin about you, and we talked about your decision of not stepping down. The way you worded it made him uncomfortable, but that wasn't what made him decide he couldn't work with you, and I see why. Prince Wu wouldn't have made anything better. You did what you thought was right for the people, and part of me thinks that I would've done the same thing in your position."

Kuvira hadn't thought about Bolin in a long time. He had been so eager to help the victims of the Earth Queen's assassination, always a hard worker with a smile on his face. He had been so genuine; it had reminded her of herself when she was younger. It had hurt when he left the cause, and if she hadn't been so callous and closed off, it would've thrown her off, at least for a second. She truly had loved seeing Opal with a guy like Bolin, and early on, it got her thinking about what it would've been like being a part of the Beifong family without the rift she and Baatar caused.

It was incredible to think what her life could've been if Su had just—if Zaheer had never killed the Earth Queen. Would she still be in Zaofu, guard and dancer, together with Baatar? Would she have finally become an official member of the Beifong family?

Or would it have been like the rest of her life: high hopes, and huge disappointments? Knowing what she did now, did she even really want Su Beifong as a mother-in-law? Or was she just that desperate for love?

She looked back up at Korra. "Is Zaheer still in prison?"

"Yes. Combination escaping prison, assassinating the Earth Queen, throwing the Earth Kingdom into chaos, and maiming me gets one a life sentence."

Lin told her that her sentence was thirty years. Assuming he'd live into his eighties or nineties, Kuvira would manage twenty more years of freedom than the monster who had killed the Earth Queen and plunged her nation into chaos.

"Were you ever really paying attention when I first came to Zaofu?" Korra asked as they switched exercise again.

She thought back to that week; there had been enough out of the ordinary markers to remember it. They were a few days from a dance recital, so she had been hyper focused on that. It was another routine that Huan wanted to learn, so she had been teaching him some of the moves before Korra arrived.

"I remember being excited to meet you and Lin, but it was also common courtesy for the guard to not bother you guys." Kuvira paused. "I remember seeing you watch the rehearsal."

Korra's eyes widened. "You were in that?"

"Yeah."

"Are you a professional dancer?"

"Of sorts."

Korra smiled. "No wonder you fought with such grace. Dance influence?"

Was it odd that Korra kept giving her so many compliments? "I suppose. My metal bending style is more based upon keeping distance and precision. If there's some grace in there, it's unconscious."

"Do you still dance?"

"I haven't in a while. This conditioning will help me, though."

By the time Korra had to leave, Kuvira had a pleasant soreness in her muscles, and was looking forward to having an early night reading in bed. Still coming off the first seventy-two hours in which the lights were always on, Kuvira learned to rely on the guards for time. They'd started giving her a newspaper with breakfast, and dimmed the lights as the graveyard shirt guards came in.

As Korra left, dinner came through the slit. She read while she ate, and took a hot (relatively speaking) shower afterwards. She still couldn't keep herself from glancing at the mirror in her bathroom knowing there was someone stationed there to keep an eye on her, but it wasn't as bad as the early days when she couldn't take a shower without covering her breasts and pubic area. She imagined there would come a day when she'd be able to look right at that mirror and wink, but today, this week, this month, this decade was not that time.

She dried off, slipped on her clean set of clothes, and jumped into bed, returning to the book she'd been working on. Her mind wandered off not long after.

She thought about that day she killed the bandit. For someone who prided herself on how in control she eventually became, she could remember nothing more than feeling out of control during the catalyzing event. It seemed so random, really, that she had killed _that _particular bandit. Was it possible that Kuvira had just snapped, and everything else happened as it did?

_You're weak._ She had been called too young, too kind, too trusting so much in those first few months. Fact was, she had been naive, even if she did still have the vision. But that bandit, he had awakened something else in her.

_You're weak_. It wasn't like she didn't know. In the hours lying awake crying tears of shock and regret at what she had done, she knew why she had snapped.

It was the first insult her father had told her as a child. She was a weak earth bender, that she'd never live up to Suyin Beifong's vision for a metal city. Kuvira hadn't been a prodigy, and hadn't always wanted to face obstacles as head on as she could as an adult. Even as an adult, though, she preferred distance to close combat. Her father had considered that a sign of weakness. No tough love, just exasperation. Her mother had offered to help her, but even she got frustrated with Kuvira and her bending. _You're weak. You're useless. You're a shame to this family. I don't care how old you are; there are kids younger than you who have mastered this. You're hardly worth the space you occupy. _

_Go buy your dad a new pair of shoes. You can at least do that, can't you?_

She'd done just that, bought the best pair of shoes she could find with the money they'd given her. But, when she returned to the house, they were gone, and she was locked out. She waited out there an entire evening and night, but they didn't show up. By the time twenty-four hours had passed, Kuvira headed towards the police station, cold, hungry, and terrified. She ended up bumping into one of Su's guards, who took Kuvira in to Su's compound.

Su had been kind to her, offering her blankets, food, and comforting words as she called around. Baatar had been hanging around his mother at the time, and had sat next to Kuvira, saying nothing, just sipping his own cup of tea. Unknown to Kuvira at the time, Su had found out that night that Kuvira's parents had skipped town, but had only directly offered Kuvira a place to stay until they found her parents.

_You're weak._ It plagued her nightmares for months, even after Su immersed her into the Beifong household and started giving her proper, encouraging earthbending lessons. Kuvira had soared to prodigy level, a master years before any of the other Beifong children. Even Toph had praised her metal bending skills. (Nothing had hurt more than hearing Toph say she gave metal benders a bad name.) But, her parents' doubt in her had never left. Su's fake out with loving Kuvira only solidified that pain.

So, yes, that had been boiling in her mind that day with the bandit. Perhaps what had been so surprising about it, though, was how violent it had made her. She had never been violent before. It had almost reminded her of her parents.

But, as she recalled, the split second that thought had occurred to her had been vanquished by another, stronger thought.

Baatar had said it. _That was some incredible metal bending out there. A terrifying new set of abilities. I didn't know you had it in you._

It had made her realize that her parents had been dead wrong about her. She wasn't weak; she was stronger than them, earthbenders who could hardly bend a piece of metal. She could crush them the same way she'd killed that bandit, with one arm in a sling and lying on the floor. She could still remember turning around to face Baatar, and him embracing her, wiping her tears away.

_Every great leader struggles in the beginning. No callous can be formed without a little pain. Soon, it'll be those bandits who are hurting._

She fell asleep playing returning those bloody metal sheets to her uniform over and over again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Korra and Kuvira getting a little closer, and a bit of Kuvira's past revealed. What do you think? Do you think her killing the bandit and my little take on Kuvira's childhood/abandonment worked? Pacing good?

Seriously, thank you to everyone who's been giving this story love! You guys rock my world, and it's so fun to keep writing this. :) Hope I'm still keeping you guys happy.


	7. Embrace

**A/N: **Hope all of you are having a wonderful start to 2015! I know I certainly am, and part of it definitely was writing this chapter.

Note: I'm pretty sure the romantic bits of this chapter count as T, but tell me if it needs to be toned down/changed to M. hehe.

* * *

><p><em>They fell onto the bed attached by hand, arm, and leg, half a swiped bottle of sake in them. The rush of sake mixed with the drop made Kuvira feel light as a feather, and Baatar was looking cuter and more desirable than she thought whenever she stole a glance at him during work hours. They had just secured Omashu, formally uniting just over half the Earth Kingdom. Everyone else was elsewhere in the train, and Kuvira assumed no one would've noticed her and Baatar sneak out.<em>

_They kissed, cheeks red and alcohol on their breath. _

_"__I love you, Kuvira," Baatar said as their lips pulled apart._

_She wrestled herself on top of him. "I love you too."_

_She kissed him and rolled off, back so they were both on their side face to face. "You were subhuman out there in Omashu today. Taking out that entire band of bandits yourself. I almost wish I could've seen it, just so I'd know what I'm imagining now is accurate."_

_Kuvira grinned. "And what would that mean?"_

_She'd left all the metal on her uniform on floor of their room, and brought a band up to them, securing Baatar's right hand to the headboard. He chuckled. "Not exactly what I was thinking…" He knocked his wrist against the binding. "Actually, I was going to say that my version of what happened involved a bit less metal. A few less straight lines and more curves."_

_She pulled the band off and sent it back with the rest of her uniform. "I'm going to need more explanation for this design of yours."_

_They smiled as he pulled off the outer layer of her uniform, leaving her in her pants and a tank top, ruffled to reveal a fair amount of her bra and cleavage. She helped him pull off the outer layer of his own uniform, leaving him in a similar getup. Lips met again, and she relished how much warmer he became as she wrapped her arms around him. He was getting stronger by the day as well; even if he was just the brains, he still didn't want to be physically inferior to everyone else working the campaign, or as everyone would say, be able to lose a fight with Varrick. _

_Mouths opened, he teased tongue, but never fully plunged in, interchanged with Baatar placing kisses up and down her neck, onto the tops of her breasts, her collarbone, wherever he saw fit. If he passed over a bruise, he'd kiss it tenderly before moving on. When she felt she was getting too passive, she flipped them over, straddled him tight and kissed every spot she knew he loved. _

_"__Okay, okay, that's enough credit to me," Baatar said as he flipped her back under him, holding her wrists down onto the mattress. He held her with more strength than usual, as if making the point that he really wanted her to stay. Brain soaked in sake, it was more hot than irksome. "I believe the Great Uniter deserves unparalleled reward tonight for her service to our kingdom."_

_She laughed. "You're still terrible at dirty talk."_

_He leaned over and kissed her. "Good thing I won't be talking for a while then."_

_He held onto her wrists for as long as he could while still moving deeper into the sheets, but when he couldn't hold her arms down, he had her pinned for entirely different reasons._

Kuvira awoke still simmering in the same heat and pleasure she'd experienced in that memory, but sleepiness was a poor substitute for alcohol, and her mind was as sharp as ever in this prison.

Yes, she was still in prison, that night with Baatar was nothing more than a memory, and the sensations she'd just given herself with a phantom hand were nothing compared to that memory. For starters, there was no love now. The best she could manage was embarrassment as she flipped onto her other side, facing away from that damn mirror and wiped her hand onto the side of her mattress.

The worst part was that this wasn't even the first time this had happened. While guilt and dread filled the cusps between being awake and asleep, the space between dreaming and being awake was plagued by desire and sexual frustration. She almost dreaded the day that the guilt passed and the frustration would be all that was left for her in this prison.

The lights were never dimmed enough to where she couldn't read, so she picked up the history book she'd been working through. If anyone could cool her down, it'd be plunging back into the story of Chin the Conqueror. Korra had joked around with her during their last meeting, challenging her to find a worse dictator than her taking in all her smaller faults, like a supposed "superego" and "how she nearly shot a nine-year-old for making faces in the Colossus's windows" (as if the airbender brat wasn't a logical, legitimate hindrance).

She managed to get through five pages before tossing the book aside, pulling the blanket up over her head, and attempting to fall back asleep again.

* * *

><p>"So, was the Chin the Conqueror worse than you?" Korra asked at their next meeting.<p>

Kuvira focused on the book between them. "There were a fair amount of similarities."

"Like what?"

"When did you become my teacher?"

"You're the one who asked me how move on from your war crimes. The first step is acceptance. You told me in the Spirit World that you never wanted it to get so out of hand, but I don't know if you realize just _how _out of hand everything got. Maybe seeing your fall mirrored in someone else will help."

Kuvira paused, running her thumb over the pages. "He rose from an Earth Kingdom dissatisfied with the monarchy. He amassed an army, conquered nearly all of the Earth Kingdom, tried to have the Avatar submit to his rule, and died as a result."

Korra pulled the book out of Kuvira's sphere of touch. "But, when he faced Avatar Kyoshi, he saved the lives of his soldiers and fought her one-on-one. Just like you did."

"I knew you were weak, and I'm only lucky you were still having problems or I would've been a stain in the earth."

"Yes, you both miscalculated, were a bit too pompous, but there's one huge difference—"

"Yeah, he was fighting one of the most ruthless Avatars in history and I got you."

"No, you stood down. You surrendered. Chin the Conqueror died thinking what he was doing was right. You didn't. So yes, you two shared a lot—your drive, the opportunity, the needs of the people, and most of all, your integrity."

"What's shreds of integrity for a dictator?"

Korra smiled. "Slow down, Great Uniter. I'm still trying to get you to see the flakes of good in the bad. Talking about whether it really made a difference and fully accepting what you did is for another time." Korra flipped to a different page in the book. "You are so lucky I wasn't connected to Avatar Kyoshi when I fought you. I mean, look what she did to Chin the Conqueror, and he didn't even make a spirit weapon or form work camps. The wisdom she would've passed on, or worse: Katara told me about how previous Avatars could take possession of the current Avatar, and how Kyoshi did it. From what I understand about her, she all but bathed in her enemies' blood. Can you imagine that? Waking up and I'm covered in your blood?"

Kuvira had no idea if Korra was just trying to get a reaction out of her or if this was some perverted self-reflection tactic. All she knew was that Korra's talk about bathing in Kuvira's blood was making her queasy, the way she felt when she thought too long about how damn close she had been to being crushed under a boulder during the Battle of Zaofu.

"_Thank you_, Korra," Kuvira said.

Korra broke out a mischievous smile. "Also, didn't you crush her metal of honor? Oh, you really ought to thank Unalaq for destroying that connection. You would be a literal bloody pulp if not…"

"What are you trying to accomplish with this tangent?"

"That you have a dangerous cocky side that I hope you address before getting out of prison."

"I know and understand the power you possess. We went over this in the Spirit World."

"But have you fully processed it since? Don't tell me you haven't lied awake thinking if you had done something different that you would've won."

She looked Korra right in the eye. "I haven't. The last time I thought about what I could've done differently was when I stumbled across the weapon in the Spirit Wilds. I've accepted your power since."

Korra flipped through the book without even looking at it. "And I hate to say it, but even as one of the best metalbenders in the world, there will be people besides me that you can't underestimate. Humility goes hand-in-hand with acceptance of past mistakes and failures."

"No need to be going so quick. I have thirty years before I'm thrown back into society."

"I just want you to be as peaceful as you can in here. We can do whatever you want in here."

Korra paused, and for the first time, it occurred to Kuvira that she had never explicitly said that her suicide attempt hadn't been real. She looked down at her wrists, the bandages off, still red, but growing pinker by the day.

"Don't call me the Great Uniter," Kuvira finally said. "Ever."

"Deal."

Korra flipped through a few more pages and sent a blast of air through it, as if it'd lead her right to a new and interesting section. In the process, Korra blew Kuvira's unopened letter from Baatar right out from where she'd stuffed it in the text. Kuvira jumped back out of her seat, caught the letter, and landed back in her chair, stabilizing it with one swift foot movement.

"You keep letters in books?" Korra asked.

She set the letter on the table, her hand covering it. "I haven't felt the need to read it."

Korra glanced down. "It's from Baatar."

"What's the point of reading it if it'll only solidify that I have no loved ones or a future outside this room?"

"You don't know that's what he'll say. The fact that he wrote a letter means he's already a step ahead of Su. I know he loved you."

"Key word _loved_. What idiot would love someone after they attempted to murder them?"

Korra raised a brow. "The same idiot who thought I could physically separate you two for the rest of my life?"

Kuvira slid the letter over to Korra, slamming into her. "Just take it. Baatar is best dead to me."

Korra moved the letter back in the middle of the table, looking into Kuvira's eyes. "You loved him, and you're preparing for the worst, but is it really going to be worth it to live life wondering what he wrote? He's your fiancé, and he may need your comfort as much as you crave his."

Kuvira snorted. "Like he needs _my _comfort when he has his mommy and daddy and siblings. Confirm my suspicions; tell me he's not in prison right now, that he's back in Su's house with emotionally ambiguous looks from his siblings and gourmet food from Su's chef."

"I don't know where he is. If he is in prison, it's nowhere they've told me."

The prison door opened, Lin at the opening. "Come on, Korra. You've been in there long enough."

Korra nodded towards Lin, pushed the letter towards Kuvira, and walked out saying, "Consider it."

Once the door shut, Kuvira pulled the letter towards her.

_Kuvira,_

_I don't know when the guards will be letting you read this, but I want you to know that I've wanted to talk to you for a while. Mother's Mother, and got me out of any prison sentence. President Raiko, Lin, and everyone besides Mother tried to get her off of it, but they agreed upon a different sentence where I'd be commissioned to help repair Republic City as a means of community service while on house arrest in Zaofu. Knowing you're rotting in a cell somewhere, where they won't even let me visit you to talk to you in person, I can hardly sleep I'm so mad and ashamed. If I could have anything right now, I'd be in a jail cell next to you, serving the same punishment for the crimes we committed together._

_I don't know what you've come to realize regarding our campaign, particularly our "wedding present," but it's been a hard couple months. I'm still not sure I'm ready to write about what happened between us in Republic City, but I will say this much:_

_Having you choose the Earth Empire over me broke my heart, and none of the physical recovery even held a candle to the pain that choice brought me. I'm still aching, hardly able to sleep, and as much as I want to deny it, that pain doesn't come from a place of anger, but love. _

_Kuvira, I still love you. I still think about you every day, and every time I see a guard or a dance performance, I think about the wedding that will never happen._

_I'm sorry, Kuv. It's taken a long time, and a lot of putting my feelings aside, but I know nothing will change that will allow our relationship to happen. Mother has given me an opportunity to rebuild my life, and we can do nothing short of uprooting our lives and living in the swamp in exile for us to ever be together. If I know one thing about you, it's that you value logic over emotion. Surely, you can understand my logic, and I wouldn't even be surprised if you've come to the same conclusion. At the very least, so long as Mother keeps me trapped in Zaofu (I believe this glorified house arrest is supposed to last as long as your own sentence, and a mother's prison lasts a lifetime), we cannot be together._

_I have your engagement ring with me, and I can ask to have it cleared so it can be returned to you. I know it won't have the sentimental value of what it once meant, but it's still valuable, and your property. Just write back and tell me what you think. _

_If you don't mind, I'd like to maintain correspondence with you. Even if we cannot be fiancees, or even romantically involved, I still consider you my closest friend and someone I care very deeply for. I hope prison is treating you well; I know you'll rise above, like you have with everything._

_Don't forget to keep dancing._

_Best,_

_Baatar_

She read the letter once, crumpled it up, and threw it across the room. No need to read it more than once. Baatar had been as clear as ever, and even his subtext was obvious: Su had babied him, gotten him a community service sentence while she rotted in prison; Baatar was struggling, but his siblings were beginning to forgive him, otherwise he would've never relinquished his love connection with her; Baatar was still hurt by what had happened, and with reason; and that pain and the situation on paper was getting to him, and what idiot would forgive his psychotic ex-fiancee who had sacrificed his life?

She could imagine Baatar had heard it a million times, that he deserved better, that Kuvira was a monster, that they could find her a better girl in five minutes, one like Kuvira back before the Great Uniter fiasco.

She didn't cry, and promised herself she wouldn't. Instead, she pulled out one of those felt tip pens and a piece of paper and wrote:

_Dearest Baatar,_

_You can keep my engagement ring, and I'd prefer if you we don't have a correspondence until I can fully digest what you wrote. I'm glad to hear you're doing okay. I'm okay, and I'll tell you when I'm ready. _

_Will do._

_Best,_

_Kuvira_

A lump grew in her throat as she crumpled up that letter, pulled out another piece of paper, and wrote:

_Baatar,_

_If Mother has gotten you such a lenient sentence, the least you could do is come here and end our engagement in person. _

_Kuvira_

She crumpled up that one and started again.

_Baatar,_

_I love you too. I think about you every day. I would do anything to keep our love alive. The distance and time doesn't have to destroy us. Zaofu is as much a prison as where I am. I'm willing to wait thirty years if you are._

_Love,_

_Kuvira_

Tears burned in her eyes as she ripped that one to shreds. Her vision blurred through the tears, and she slammed her pen down, cleared the table of all her paper and crumpled up letters. She jumped out of her seat, put her hands on the top of the chair as if to throw it, but did no more than squeeze the wood until her knuckles popped.

_Logic? You're really breaking up with me because of _logic_?_

There was no logic in prison. There was no logic in regret, in redemption. This room was nothing but a cesspool of emotion and the sloppy actions that came from those drinking and drowning in those foolhardy decisions. The cuts on her scalp and wrists said it all. She dropped to the floor, knees to the wood, crumpled into the same sloppy ball as her letters around her. Her face shielded by arms, she let it all go and cried. She cried the way she'd cried after killing that bandit, the way she cried when she first arrived in that wood cage. She cried herself hoarse, until her eyes were red and dry and her shirtsleeves were soaked.

She only cried harder when she felt warmth engulf her, felt arms wrap around her. She looked up at Korra through the burning eyes. They made eye contact for an instant, and Kuvira didn't pull away and Korra didn't smile. She just secured Kuvira in the embrace, so close that she could feel Korra's chest rise and fall.

Unlike in the Spirit World, Kuvira didn't pull away.

#

_It was after a dance practice. A hard practice that left Kuvira catching her breath and sweaty, but there was Baatar, sitting meekly in the corner, a towel in his hands. He smiled as she approached and tossed her the towel._

_"__You look upset. Everything okay?" Kuvira asked as she dried off best she could._

_Baatar sighed. "I've been working on this design for the domes, but Father put me down before I could even show him the initial drawings."_

_She put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's go outside, and you can show me what you've got."_

_They walked out to Su's meteorite collection. Kuvira stopped in front of the biggest rock in the set. _

_"__What've you got, Beifong?"_

_Baatar unraveled his design and showed it to Kuvira. "What didn't your dad like?"_

_As Baatar explained all the nitpicks his dad had with the design, Kuvira bent the meteorite to resemble the design in 3D. In a typical Baatar fashion, he didn't realize what Kuvira had done until after he'd stopped talking and she elbowed him._

_"__This about it?" Kuvira asked._

_Baatar smiled. "Exactly what I was thinking."_

_Kuvira smiled back. "Take it from the captain of Su's guard: these would be monumentally helpful for security purposes. They cover more vulnerabilities than what we have now."_

_Baatar's eyes sparkled. "You mean it?"_

_"__You are overflowing with potential and your father is a fool not to see it."_

_He looked into her eyes, a shy smile playing on his lips. "I forgot to tell you that you looked great out there today."_

_She blushed a little. "Thanks."_

_Their hands brushed, and they walked back inside together._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: ***prepares for the onslaught of unhappy Baavira shippers* I'm sorry guys, but I think it had to be done. But, don't worry - this won't be the last time we hear from Baatar, I don't think. Nor will Kuvira remain an emotional mess forever. :)

So, if you feel up to it, drop me a comment. I love hearing from you guys, and it's seemed more often than not, your comments have changed this story's course.


	8. Medicine

If anything at all, Kuvira felt dry after Korra left. Like there was no way her body could produce more tears. Or, as if Korra's moment of comfort was just the medicine she needed.

Medicine: something that would temporary numb the symptoms, just long enough for Kuvira to forget the pain even existed before barraging her again.

She wouldn't let that happen. She'd come too far, and in the moments after Korra left, when she looked at the scars on her wrists, she could imagine what kind of beautiful mess she could make if she actually cut herself the right way, or how they'd look paired with ligature marks if she found a way to hang herself. She refused to sink back into that darkness she entered the prison with, that she felt when Su refused to give Kuvira a real talk. Baatar would not be the end of her. Korra had taken a major risk in comforting her, probably defying Lin's orders not to return to Kuvira's cell, so now Kuvira had to be there, alive and ticking for Korra during her next visit.

She took a deep breath, re-braided her hair, securing it into the back of her shirt without any hair ties, removed her shoes, and started to dance. Nothing too advanced at first, just getting light on her feet again. She added in the full positions, and soon she was moving across the room, all her old moves returning. It slowed down her brain for the first time in what must've been months. She had stopped dancing a little while before the annexation of Yi, when the re-education camps started popping up. Dance required discipline, sure, but it felt too frivolous, even if her free time.

She could still remember the last recital she'd been a part of. Korra had watched the rehearsal, and Kuvira had to miss a few subsequent rehearsals because her job as captain of the guard had gotten in the way. But, the recital had gone off without a hitch, and allowed Kuvira to forget the horrors she'd directly and indirectly experienced during the insurrection of the Red Lotus. In those few hours, Queen Hou-Ting, as horrible as she was, hadn't had the air sucked out of her lungs by a murderous anarchist, the Earth Kingdom wasn't being eaten alive by criminals and chaos, and she wasn't forced to hunker down in Zaofu's stronghold. The night was about art, and Baatar—

No, this had nothing to do with Baatar. She took a deep breath and banished the thought away. She didn't dance for Baatar; she danced for herself.

If only she had some music. Then, she could fully escape.

As she danced, the cell's door opened, and a guard appeared.

"Against the wall," he said. "I'm taking out the trash."

Kuvira had begun to learn that the guards would come inside her cell and clean up while she slept, but their difference in timing wasn't that unusual. Besides, the floor was littered in tearstained paper now, and nowhere to properly store them.

Kuvira stopped dancing and moved against the nearest wall, facing away from the guard. "Is Chief Beifong in?"

"Yes."

"Could you ask her if I could speak to her?"

"Sure."

The guard picked up the crumpled letters, stuffed them into a bag, and walked out. For effect, Kuvira looked right at the mirror. To her surprise, Lin actually opened the cell door and closed it behind her.

"You have two options: tell me you're feeling suicidal again or that your letter revealed Baatar Jr.'s plans to escape my sister's daycare and you were compelled to talk to me," Lin said.

"I was wondering what I'd have to do to get a radio in here."

"There's no way to get you one without metal, so the answer is there's no way."

Kuvira knew that Lin had witnessed her mental breakdown, so there was some truth to that sarcastic suicide comment. "Music would be therapeutic at this point. Aren't other prisoners granted the same luxuries? I was paying attention during this tour. I have every amenity of the prisoners in the general population except access to the radio."

"General population isn't made up of metal bending war criminals. I can't get you one."

"Didn't Varrick manufacture plastic radios some years back?"

"It has metallic parts within, and it would need batteries or to be plugged in, neither of which would be available to you."

Kuvira sighed. "What about something else? A music box, or a metronome."

Lin shook her head. "Why am I even listening to this? You're a war criminal, and you should be grateful that we didn't keep you in the wooden cage or made your sentence life."

Kuvira crossed her arms and raised a brow. "So Baatar gets free reign to roam Suyin's house with all its luxuries, but I can't even get a music box?" She paused. "I know you were unhappy when Baatar got off easy."

Lin huffed. "I'll ask the prison if they've got something in storage."

Calling Lin's bluff had worked; she actually did care about Kuvira's mental state. She didn't plan to manipulate it, but she was excited at the thought of having some form of music.

* * *

><p>"Good news! I finally found the Pai Sho board," Korra said as she entered the cell the next week.<p>

Kuvira dug her nose out of the new book she'd been working on and joined Korra at the table.

"Where was it?" Kuvira asked.

Korra rubbed the back of her neck. "It's technically Asami's set, but she's letting me leave it here."

Kuvira quirked a brow. "So, she knows about us?"

"Yeah. I decided to just tell her, and she's mad, but it's…not necessarily at me. I think it's just hard for her to face the idea that the person who killed her father might to not be all evil. Just accepting her dad back into her life wasn't cut and dry, and I think him dying so soon after she decided to forgive him really messed things up for her." Korra glanced up at Kuvira, and started setting up the pieces. "But, on the bright side, it didn't cause a major rift in our relationship and I can still visit you." Korra paused. "How are you?"

Kuvira helped Korra set up the Pai Sho pieces. "Okay. I've been keeping myself distracted. You…being there helped."

"So…I think I've been working off a lot of assumptions. Who wrote the letter?"

"Baatar."

"And…it wasn't good news?"

"He said that it wasn't pragmatic for us to be in a relationship regardless of whether or not he still has unresolved feelings for me. Nothing I can argue with there. What rules are we playing with?"

"Ancient rules. Hundred Year War style. Are you familiar with it? It's how my friends in the Spirit World play, and I standardized the rules while you were in here."

It was strange to think Korra did mountains of more important work outside of these visits.

"I know the rules, but thank you."

They started to play. For all that Korra talked about standardizing the game based on slow, methodical strategy, she made her moves quickly. She couldn't tell if Korra also trying to talk to Kuvira was some method to throw her off her game.

"I always knew Baatar was head over heels for you, but I'll admit, I never got the same vibe from you," Korra said. "I'm not saying you didn't love him just as much, but it really was something private for you, wasn't it?"

Kuvira sighed and made her next move. "Yes. As you've probably figured out, I'm not a very emotional person."

"Well, just know that whatever you're feeling, it's okay to express it, and talk about it if you need to. When Mako and I broke up, I immediately got caught up in Harmonic Convergence and well…there wasn't much time to think about it. But, given more time, losing someone I love is terrible. And, well, you've lost a lot of people recently."

Korra got a harmony off Kuvira's last move. Kuvira was already ahead by a good margin, but this mess up wasn't a good sign. "Like I said, Baatar would've been better off dead for me."

"Come on, it has to give you a little relief to know that he's alive. I'd be pretty happy to know that someone I loved is still alive, even if we have to live separately."

"Maybe that'd be possible if it weren't for the fact that Baatar was the only chance I had that anyone in my life outside of the naively optimistic Avatar would ever care for me the way I care for them for the rest of this lifetime."

Korra paused, her eyes moving away from the Pai Sho board. "So, really, it wasn't about Baatar."

"Both."

Korra made her move. "Was there any signs in the letter that he wanted to keep in touch even if he wasn't going to be your fiancé?"

"Of course he wanted to remain pen-pals, but what use is that connection now? He said it himself: I'm not welcome back in Zaofu and he can't leave Zaofu. What would be the point of writing letters, only to have his family and a new woman rip him from me slowly over the next thirty years? Ceasing contact now is saving myself a load of pain."

"I…don't necessarily think stopping writing to him is a bad idea, but I'm worried that it's an unconscious trigger for you to start regressing. You need people around you who care about you, and well, if Baatar does, maybe it would be good for your healing if you keep in contact. You could grow to not need him."

"I already don't need him. All throughout our relationship, he was the one who needed me." Kuvira exhaled and moved her next piece. "I know I looked bad last week, and I was devastated, but it's more symbolic than anything. I suppose I just…fear what the world will look like when I come out."

"You do have thirty years. Considering how much changed in three years, I wouldn't worry about how things will be in thirty. If anything, the Beifongs have ample time to forgive you."

"And what if they don't? What if I don't want to return to Zaofu when this sentence is over? I lived so much of my life knowing exactly what lied ahead, and staring into the void…" She shook her head. "Baatar was my last tether to my future."

Korra made another sloppy move, but this one seemed especially hasty. "While I was learning to walk again after the Red Lotus insurrection, one of the best things Katara told me was that when we recover from something, we gain strength and insight we would've never found otherwise, and that we don't know what any of our experiences will end up giving us. Back then, it sounded like a whole lot of old lady healer hollow words of encouragement, but then, I sat back and I realized that if it weren't for going through that, I would've never been the compassionate Avatar I am today. I would've never been able to talk you down, opened up that portal, or had the confidence to sit here every week and try to make a difference in your life. And, it handed me something unexpected: Asami. I realized that I loved her while we were away, and she's made me happier than any other partners I've had did."

"Sounds like the happy ending in a children's book. Maybe your life turned around, but your only enemy was yourself; everyone around me hates me."

Korra shook her head. "If anything, everyone around you is waiting to see what kind of person you emerge from this experience as. There are so many people who don't have the grudge-holding ability of Su: Bolin, maybe Baatar, your supporters, everyone who came on that first airship out of Zaofu. You can't automatically assume that they'll hate you when you get out of here. In all honesty, I doubt people will even remember you outside of Republic City, and even they'll forget about the damage you caused when some other wackjob comes around and destroys the city again."

Kuvira raised a brow and smiled a bit. "You think someone else will come along and destroy Republic City again?"

"Well, as the esteemed former chief Toph Beifong once told me that names change, but the people stay the same. Even Aang had more enemies to face after facing Fire Lord Ozai, and that guy was a huge deal. I have no doubt that my job isn't over."

"After what I did you really think people will forget about me?"

Korra smirked. "Don't rub your own ego. Even Princess Azula could roam the streets after she was deemed reasonably sane without people recognizing or fearing her. You'd be able to blend in easily." Korra made her move. "Think about it: Amon's name hasn't been mentioned in years since the Equalist movement, even if bender-non-bender tensions aren't one hundred percent finished, and we don't even know what happened to him. No one talks about Zaheer killing the Earth Queen—"

"Zaheer didn't announce that he killed the Earth Queen."

"Well, then I'll go back to the Amon comment. You know, Amon wasn't his real name. It was Noatak, and for all I know, Noatak escaped and is now living a normal life somewhere in the world. You're the Great Uniter, not Kuvira. I promise, when the time comes, you'll be able to start over. There's nothing to fear." Korra looked up from the board, making eye contact with Kuvira. "If anything, I'll be there for you when you get out of prison. I promise."

Kuvira felt a lump rise in her throat. "You can't guarantee that. You have Asami, and within thirty years you'll have another life: a wife, children, a career. I'd be a hindrance at best, a leech at worst in your life. I could never do that to someone whose shown me such compassion."

Korra sighed. "Sometimes, I think it's my fault that you lost the Beifongs, like if I hadn't let the Earth Queen die, you could've still been Su's protege and be a guard and in that dance troupe and with Baatar Jr. and all his siblings. Even if I don't know how Su treated you, if it was genuine love, at least it was something."

Korra…blamed herself for what happened? Kuvira had left Zaofu, started the campaign, let it get so out of hand…

"No, it wasn't your fault that I became what I was. I made all those decisions, and neither of us knows if I wouldn't have made those decisions some time later." Kuvira paused. "When everyone met up to go to the cave to rescue you, I told Su that I wanted to help save you and the airbenders. She told me to stay with the injured. I was never in family portraits, she never introduced me when she introduced her kids to you—I've always been a second-class member of her household, and the fall of the Earth Queen didn't cause that. Of course my main motivation was to help the Earth Kingdom, but part of the reason I left was to escape Su and find my own path. Don't think of this as some compensation for something you had no stake in." Kuvira looked down at the Pai Sho board. "I won, by the way."

Korra's eyes bugged out as she inspected the game board. "Spirits, you're good at this."

"I'm a military tactician. Want to try again, Avatar?"

Korra set up for another game. "Can I ask you something that's been bothering me for a while?"

"Go ahead."

"When we spoke in the Spirit World, I really was going off on a limb when I said you were afraid and all that abandonment stuff. You seemed so icy and composed before that. Did…something happen when we weren't interacting that sort of put you down that road towards opening up to me? I know facing death can certainly make people more vulnerable, but it felt like it was in the making."

Kuvira exhaled. "The only other time I thought about it since I was a child was in the swamp…"

"You had an experience in there?"

Kuvira nodded. "Not even Baatar knew about it…"

_One day in harvesting the spirit vines, and as much as Baatar insisted that he could handle the grunt work, making sure everything stayed stable, Kuvira stayed with him. She liked the lack of commotion of the swamp, liked seeing the progress, and there was something…alluring about the place. She couldn't place it, especially not as a city girl through and through. _

_"__I'm going to go check the place out. See if there's anything else useful in here," Kuvira said to Baatar, still in bed, as she dressed for the day._

_"__Just be careful, Kuv. Since we're already cutting down the vines around here, don't cut down any more that you encounter. The swamp might prefer to go after an individual instead of all our mechs."_

_"__Alright, no metal knives. I'll be fine." She squeezed his hand. "If I'm honest, I'd be more worried about you right here, in this tent, than I'd be for me if I stumbled onto the other side of the swamp."_

_She set out, retracting any visible weapons and handling the vines with her hands. She'd left her gloves in the tent, partially to keep them from getting dirty and partially because something felt right about feeling this swamp with her bare skin. _

_She'd read so many stories about this swamp, ranging from factual accounts of the water benders who lived and thrived in the land and legends of the spirits who inhabited the swamp, angry, terrifying creatures who existed long before the spirit fiasco a few years back. Everyone called this place eerie, creepy, like the entire swamp was alive. Which, scientifically speaking, it was. But, watching those vines try to destroy the mechs had really cemented it for Kuvira: they needed to get in and out of this swamp before it swallowed them whole. _

_Everything was on schedule, though, so she wasn't worried._

_The vines began to thicken, the ground growing more uneven each step she took. There was no room for getting lost in her thoughts with each step risking breaking an ankle or dropping into the oblivion of the swamp. What had once been a bright morning had gone dark under the swamp's shade. She could only hear the buzzing of insects, but she felt like she was hearing something else entirely. Something otherworldly, but in more than just the way occasionally seeing a spirit on the Earth Empire campaign. Whatever controlled the swamp was stronger than that._

_She pressed forward, vines thickening and thickening. When she reached a patch she couldn't weave through, couldn't fight through, she gritted her teeth, pulled out her metal knife, and cut down the green in front of her. She winced for just a second, but when the vines fell to the ground and didn't come attack her, she moved forward._

_Only to take one step onto air. _

_It was still dark, the ground was still slick, and Kuvira went sliding down a hill with an unknown gradient and height. She managed to stay on her feet by nothing more than the balance she learned as a dancer and her own willpower, but a sudden stop by a rock tripping up her feet landed her face first onto the floor of mud and rocks. She earthbent as much of the mud off as she could, but the rocks had cut up her hands, face, and neck. The cuts weren't big though, nor bleeding much, so she got back to her feet and kept going. _

_She didn't know where she was going anymore, but there was some light in the distance—hopefully a break in the vegetation. _

_She pushed through the mud, forced to take big steps to keep the mud from ruining her uniform any more than it already had, but the light didn't seem to be getting any closer. But, something inside her kept her moving forward. _

_She broke through into a clearing, losing her footing again and landing in more mud and leaves. _

_Right in front of her, as young as they'd been the day they asked her to buy a pair of shoes, were her parents. _

_"__Why didn't you come back?" she found herself demanding._

_Her parents glared at her. "It's only mud, Kuvira, and you're bleeding?" her dad said._

_"__You're just as weak as when we left," her mom said._

_"__No! I'm not weak! I'm—I'm—look at me! I've united the Earth Kingdom. I'm an earth bending and metal bending master. I'm—" Rage suddenly overshadowed the pain. "I'm so much more than you two ever were!"_

_"__Pathetic," they hissed._

_"__Useless. Weak. Pathetic. We made the right decision when we left you to die."_

_"__I could destroy you both now! You have no idea what—Su was so much—I don't need—I don't—"_

_"__You couldn't even keep pebbles from cutting you to ribbons. You're the worst earth bender is history."_

_"__The worst daughter…"_

_Kuvira threw two metal bands onto her parents' eyes and ran at them with the knife. _

_But, all she hit was a set of twin rocks. The knife bent upon impact and Kuvira startled backwards, nearly but not losing her footing._

_She focused on the rocks, the reality of what had just happened. The rumors that the swamp caused hallucinations was true. She looked down at her knife and fixed it. She'd still have to fix the cuts when she got…when she got back…_

_She looked back at those rocks, mind filled with the poison her parents had injected into her body for eight years, and finally collapsed under its weight. It burned as it sloshed through her veins, tears like chemicals in her eyes. She covered her eyes, tears cleaning the caked dirt and blood off her hands in streaks, but nothing made the pain go away. It clutched her from the inside, strangling every organ in her. Her heart seemed to be racing, she felt nauseous, her sight was going blurry, mind drifting away. _

_"__I hope you're looking at what I'm doing and regret every moment you didn't spend in my life!" she screamed out. "I'm doing this because of you! I'm going to take care of my people better than you could've ever wished to do for me!"_

_She wiped and bent off as much of the blood, tears, and mud off her exposed skin as she could, but the stains on her clothing were not so easily removed. She regained her bearings and returned to Baatar. (By chance was a fair assumption.)_

_Baatar and her soldiers widened eyes at her appearance._

_"__Kuvira, are you okay?" Baatar asked. "You're bleeding and, well, filthy."_

_She knocked some of the mud on her uniform onto his. "I'm fine. Just missed a step."_

_Everyone watched her as she walked back to her tent, but only Baatar watched until the moment she closed the tent door behind her._

_She sat down at her desk and pulled out some first aid supplies and a mirror. She applied the antiseptic, looking at the cuts, but something caught the corner of her eye—a little girl with grime where Kuvira's blood oozed on her face. She blinked a few times, but it was gone. She shook her head, took a deep breath, and returned to applying antiseptic._

_At least they'd be out of the swamp soon._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Alright, this chapter ended up being longer than I expected, and I hope that means it's good. I'll admit, I've been wanting to write a Kuvira-in-the-swamp scene ever since I considered the idea that if it weren't for Nickelodeon being dicks and the clip episode being a normal episode, it would've featured Kuvira struggling in the swamp. So, tell me what you guys think. Do the Korra and Kuvira conversations reveal something new each time or are they getting stale?


	9. A New Face

A week after the Pai Sho game, it was Lin who walked into Kuvira's cell, not Korra. She held a wooden radio and her classic scowl.

"Try to bend this, right now. I couldn't, but for all I know, you've picked up more than me," Lin said.

There were some metal pieces inside the little machine, but Kuvira couldn't bend them. Must be made of purified metals. "I can't."

Lin raised a brow. "And you tried?"

"Yes."

Lin set it down on the table. "Well, congratulations, you can now write home to my nephew that you have a radio."

It still stung thinking about Baatar. "Is Avatar Korra coming in this week?"

"fraid not. She's been called to Ba Sing Se on official business. She hopes to be back next week, but don't count on it." Kuvira expected Lin to leave right then, but instead she turned on the radio and started tinkering with it. "Just so you know, I know where you're coming from with Su. I know how extreme she can be, whether with her love or her cruelty." Lin paused. "I really hope you aren't waiting on her to open her eyes and realize that you really were her daughter, and that she should try to mend things."

Kuvira crossed her arms, focused on the radio. "I'm not."

"Good. Because if anything, the disappointment Su's going to give you for the next thirty years will sink you far faster than the isolation of prison."

"Are you really going to keep me on suicide watch for the next thirty years?"

Lin shrugged. "Probably not, but if you give us reason to keep up the surveillance, we will. You make this sentence what you want."

With that, Lin left. Kuvira moved over to the radio, switched through a few stations, and settled on one playing jazz music. She'd read the newspaper that morning, and there had been nothing of worth. She figured there'd be no reason to focus on the outside world when her own little bubble had just gotten monumentally better. She looked to the mirror, mouthed, "thanks," and turned back to her workplace.

Spirits, she'd really been looking forward to seeing Korra this week. She wanted to ask her if any of the roaming bandits had returned with Wu's rule; how the idiot's "democracy" thing was going; how all her friends were doing; and if she had parole. Her dreams had sifted away from desire in the night to anxieties shifting into nightmares so elusive she could only remember their contents for seconds after waking up. She'd tried to record them on a piece of paper by her bed, and had words like "Su," "the guard," "Zaheer," and "re-education" on the paper in barely legible writing.

She still couldn't remember the exact content of the dreams, but she could see unresolved guilt when she saw it. Spirits, even within the six or so months she'd been in prison, the amount of times she told herself she was sickened by her re-education camps, forcing towns to join the Empire, killing everyone she did to show off her weapon, and causing such pain to her adoptive family hadn't let her forgive herself. Recently, she thought about the Beifongs she didn't think about much—Huan and Baatar Sr. How they had been as much a part of her foster family, yet she didn't even _think _about what she did to them. She had the vaguest memory of watching Baatar confront his father and brother after they refused to bow to her. She remembered being so unconcerned with those two bowing to her, or at least it didn't give her the satisfaction that seeing Su do it would've. Those two, they were so innocent in the scheme of things—they didn't try to assassinate her, they didn't stop her as she was about to beat Korra, and they didn't spit in her face when she apologized. In fact, when Baatar ranted about his father was one of the only times Kuvira knew to stay quiet and just listen to him.

She just didn't have the hatred in her that Baatar had for his father, and she'd always liked Huan as a kid. When they all did their earth bending training, Kuvira was often paired with Huan, and she was one of the first ones that he admitted that he didn't want to learn how to fight to. Of course, Su hadn't minded his different path, but he had been so scared to tell his mother at first. It had been a team effort, partially on the part of Baatar Sr., that Kuvira even got to live with them, and she remembered the times Baatar Sr. had happily shown her architectural blueprints when Kuvira wanted as thorough an idea of Zaofu as possible when she became a guard.

Maybe if she couldn't get Su to forgive her, she could get her feelings on the table with her children. She'd…hold off on Baatar.

No, she couldn't just start writing letters to everyone but Baatar. She owed her closest friend within the family and ex-fiancé that much respect. If she were going to contact anyone, she'd contact Baatar.

She sighed and pulled out her paper and pen. Was she ready to talk to Baatar? She knew if she started talking to him now, she'd have to accept her position as a pen-pal, and in a relationship that made been him making every move, she'd have to grovel for a miracle to get them back together.

Did she…owe him an explanation about why she shot him?

_Baatar,_

_I understand why you're doing what you're doing, but I won't say that it hasn't hurt me to hear how you feel. I know you must hate me, must be so confused as to why I threw our life away together to kill Avatar Korra. It was one of many heartless decisions I made on our campaign, and I'm sorry you, sweet Baatar, were one of the victims. I know how ridiculous it sounds, but I never intended for you to die; I accepted the fact that you may die, but I never wanted it. In the back of my mind, before the Colossus was infiltrated and I lost to Avatar Korra, I told myself I'd go looking for you after the battle was won. I hope you know that._

_I'm glad you're doing okay, and that your family is beginning to mend itself. I know you must be fighting it, but don't. You love your family, and you guys deserve to be whole again. Continue this correspondence as you wish, but don't begrudge your family. We did some awful things together, and I never wanted to hurt your family. Don't hurt them any more._

_Keep the wedding ring; I just got Aunt Lin to give me a radio, and she won't let me have the ring, regardless of whether or not I can bend it. _

_Best,_

_Kuvira_

She read the letter over a few times, and deemed it good enough to send to Baatar. She wanted to add a line about how pissed she was that he had broke their engagement over a letter instead of trying to see her in person, but she let it go.

She wrote short letters of apology to all the other Beifong siblings as well as Baatar Sr., but she struggled with writing one to Su. While the others maybe, possibly would read the letters, she knew Su wouldn't.

Yet, the emotions were killing her, and at least now she could get them out as words. She'd just write it and throw it away.

_Su,_

_I wish I could be everything you believe. Trust me when I say that I wish I was the heartless dictator who brainwashed your son and felt nothing for everything that happened. But I know that's not me, and deep down, I know you do too. I know the kind of person you are—the kind of person who forgives people for their wrongdoings and believes that people can change. I know I changed for the worst, but I also have changed for the better. _

_I know you must still be hurt and angry, but one day I hope you will see me for who I want to be and am. I can never repay you for taking me in as a child and raising me, but the more time I have to sit here and think about it, the more I realize that maybe your rejection of me wasn't that far off. Sitting here, I've begun to realize that you never did see me as a daughter._

_It explains far more than I'd like to admit, starting with why Baatar is on house arrest and I'm in prison. Am I angry about this? Yes. But, I don't expect anything to change. Even with this information, my feelings for you haven't changed. I still respect you, and you and Baatar Sr. will always be the parents I never had. You may not consider me a daughter anymore, but I will always consider you my mother. _

_Best,_

_Kuvira_

She thought about ripping it up, but folded it in half and stuck it under her mattress. She didn't even know if what she wrote made sense, but she did feel just a little bit better.

She switched the radio to another station and picked up a new book. This one was a biography of Princess Azula, given to her by Korra, and she wasn't sure if it was meant to be insulting or not. She wondered if she could lure Lin back out by appealing to Lin's dislike of many of Su's parenting/life tactics. At worst, she could turn on talk radio or a sports station now. She'd survive the week.

Maybe, sometime in the week, she could figure out why she needed the Avatar's company so damn much. Solitary confinement seemed like enough of a reason, but Kuvira couldn't be sure.

* * *

><p>The next week, Korra came in with all smiles, but there was something off about that smile.<p>

"Hey, so you know how I told Asami that I was visiting you," Korra said.

"Yes…?" Kuvira answered.

"Well, I might've told more than just Asami. I…told Bolin and Mako and…anyone who asked. I figured you wouldn't care."

Kuvira shrugged. "It's your decision. Doesn't affect me."

"Well, it kind of does." Korra removed her hand from the back of her neck. "Someone wanted to visit you."

"Who?"

Korra actually walked out before saying who was visiting.

"Hey Kuvira." It was Bolin, offering her one of his signature smiles. The smile, however, faded within moments. "Ohh, you don't look happy."

She didn't? She wasn't frowning, was she? "You're fine, Bolin."

He loosened his tense shoulders. "Okay, good. Sorry, you looked mad. I forgot that you always look that way."

Oh, Bolin. She had forgotten how much Bolin lightened the mood. She lifted a brow. "How've you been?"

"Good. Varrick offered another major mover role, but I turned it down." He paused. "Actually, I'm sort of continuing the work I did with you. Aid work, army work."

She smiled. It wasn't a big smile, and probably looked like she was just trying to prove that she didn't look perpetually angry, but it was something. "I'm proud of you. You found your calling. It must feel good."

Bolin rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, it's great." He looked around. "Is this a prison cell?"

"Yes. I moved in here a few months ago. It's almost as nice as my apartment back in Zaofu."

"I'm impressed." He paused. "Does Korra visit you a lot?"

"Once a week ever since I was incarcerated."

"Wow, that's commitment. You two must be friends now." Kuvira nodded. "Where did she go, by the way?"

Kuvira began to motion toward the mirror, but stopped. "Bolin, you know me, right?" He nodded. "Let's skip the small talk. Why are you visiting me after everything I put you and your girlfriend's family through?"

Bolin looked at the surface of the table between them before answering. "I idolized you when I first joined you. I'm sure you know that. I loved you and everything you did, what you represented. I followed your lead and doing the aid work we did changed my life in a way I can never thank you enough for. But, once I started to see the darkness to your plans, the coldness in your heart, I regretted everything I did and thought I had to do everything in my power to separate myself from the person I was then. But, then you surrendered, and I thought, for a moment, that I saw the idealistic, passionate woman I began to work for escaping through that icy shell. And, now, I just…I came here because I want to know the truth about the woman I worked for all those years. I want to be sure of myself when I tell my future kids about the time I worked for you."

Bolin had no idea how much those words meant to her. In a way, she couldn't even really process it. Up until then, she believed that Korra would be the only person who would ever forgive her, and only because they'd spent, what, hours in the Spirit World cutting themselves open and revealing their fears and regrets to each other.

Kuvira exhaled. "What would you need to know?"

"Just how…how much of everything was real?" She furrowed her brow. "Like, how nice you were. I mean, you were always intense, but what we did—we saved lives, fed starving people, helped turn impoverished towns into not only stable but flourishing areas. And, that couldn't be fake, so when did the facade come up? When did you start forcing towns to join the Empire, making the re-education camps, thinking that super weapon would be…a good idea?" Bolin winced.

Kuvira exhaled. She had spent a long time thinking about this, but she still didn't have the right words for it. She glanced up at the mirror, almost 100% certain that Korra was watching them.

"I can't give you a definite answer if you're asking how I justified what I did. Looking back, there were so many decisions I made that I can't understand now. Forcing the states—yes, it was tough love, I suppose. The re-education camps…" she sighed, "that's where everything started going down a dark road. They started out as prisons where we sent bandits who still posed a threat after any state was annexed, but the men or women weren't fit to join the army. When I started throwing dissenters in, I was already neck-deep in the power bath." She shook her head. "I can even remember telling myself that I was taking the power on as a burden so my people could be ruled fairly. Spirits, Bolin, there wasn't logic in it, there wasn't brave sacrifices. At one point, it just started to make sense with no morality behind it." She glanced at the water cup she'd left by her bed. "Here's the best comparison I can make: have you ever been really drunk?"

Bolin looked around. "Yeaaaah, once or twice."

"That's what that kind of power feels like. It overtakes you, and you feel so good, so strong, and that everything in life is going so well. You don't think twice about something because the feeling means more than the thought. You think you thought it over, but really, you didn't. You stumble along, and everyone else can tell you how far you've drifted from your true self, but as far as you're concerned, you're as in control and yourself as ever. And, before you know it, you've commissioned a giant mecha tank for your super weapon in a machine that only you can control and suddenly a land that has been historically integrated seems like a great last edition to an already complete puzzle. In those moments, I felt as much a strong and self-sacrificing leader as I did when I first set out."

"When did you realize that what you were doing was wrong?"

"That's the thing. That didn't occur to me for a while. When you guys broke into the Colossus and the arm stopped working and it blew up…like I said, drunks don't even realize how drunk they are even after the negative effects of the alcohol start showing up. I didn't even realize it when I shot that gun. It wasn't that what I was doing was wrong, it was that it was out of my control. It wasn't until Korra and I landed in the Spirit World that it started to dawn on me."

Bolin smiled a little. "Like a hangover?"

"A hangover that still hasn't ended, and even if it does, rehab is thirty years. Yes." She paused. "Does any of that make sense?"

"It does, but I guess I can't figure out how you went through with the littler things, the dirty work you did yourself. I mean, you nearly threw Varrick off a train and used Zhu Li as target practice for a superweapon. That's some cold stuff. You never thought…"

"No. Part of the drunk on power feeling is the feeling that every little means justifies the end. I know now how horrible I was."

Bolin shook his head. "I guess the craziest part is that…I mean, do you remember the way things were when I first joined you? You were always as professional as you were for all three years, but things were so much lighter. We talked a lot. We celebrated our successes, and you were part of the celebration. I just can't imagine what could've changed that took away the happiness of what we did. I mean, truly, were you happy as we got near the end?"

"Are you talking about not accepting Zhu Li's victory tea?"

"No. Well, yes, but I mean…don't you remember? You used to give me all this insider information about the Beifongs when you learned that I started dating Opal, you'd make Baatar do hundreds of push ups with you on his back, metal bend away Baatar's glasses when he got too involved trying to explain mechanical failures to us, and even just the way used to smile so much more." He furrowed his brow. "Is that person real, or was she a prop and the ice…metal queen underneath was the real you?"

The memories flooded back, and the nostalgia had a much stronger pull than Kuvira ever expected. Forget wanting her life with the Beifongs as a kid. One of her happiest times were those first few years when her love for Baatar was new, the prospect of joining the extended Beifong family was real, "Aunt" Lin and "brother-in-law" Bolin and all, and she used to have fun and enjoy the company of everyone she worked with.

"That was all real. Those feelings, what I did…I'm sorry that I stopped. I shouldn't have. Eventually, the desire to appear inhuman and invincible in order to gain respect from the states and those watching overtook the necessity for fun and low pressure human interaction. Call it another ridiculous sacrifice I thought I had to make."

"What do you do now? In here?"

Kuvira shrugged. "Read, exercise, sleep. I've recently gotten back into dancing and that radio can pass a few hours. It's a tedious existence, but boring is better than miserable. Haven't gotten there yet."

Bolin's eyes widened for a bit, and Kuvira assumed he'd spotted the scars on her wrists. She hadn't been hiding them, but they only became really visible then.

"By the way, thank you," Kuvira said. "I never got to formally do so when you worked for me. You helped a lot of people while working for me, and I hope you understand the magnitude of your work." She smiled. "Your bending is nothing short of incredible as well."

Bolin then proceeded to hug Kuvira, the kind of embrace where he locked her arms to her side so it wasn't like she could hug him back if she wanted to. And damn that kid, she might want his forgiveness, but physical contact was not part of the deal.

"Bolin, we never did this even when you were my favorite new recruit, and nothing has changed," Kuvira said.

They talked for a bit longer, Bolin asking how the prison sentence was going, and Korra joined a while later. Eventually, Bolin walked out, having just discovered that Lin and the guards were watching him the whole time, leaving Korra with Kuvira.

"Drunk on power, huh?" Korra said, smirking.

"It was the best I could come up with."

"It works, in a weird way. You've come a long way for just six months." She paused. "Sorry about not visiting you last week. I hope everything was okay."

Kuvira nodded. "It was."

It wasn't until long after Korra had left for the day that she realized how monumental that statement was.

* * *

><p>That night, as she drifted off to sleep, it was a genuinely sweet memory that graced her thoughts, the first one in so long.<p>

_Six months into the Earth Kingdom __campaign, and Kuvira had found a new sub-goal along with uniting the territory: whipping Baatar into shape. As she explained to him multiple times over their work together, he couldn't be the lanky engineer nerd he was; he was too valuable, and far too easy a target for anyone wanting to get to her. The least he could do was bulk up, appear a bit more able-bodied than he was. _

_That day's work done early, she made sure Baatar was working hard that evening. _

_"Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen..." she said as she sat on his back, all her weight on him. _

_He was supposed to get to one hundred that night, but seeing as he was already sweating, it might take more than one try. Good thing they had all night. _

_"What is this really accomplishing? I could barely hit a hundred without you on me," Baatar complained._

_"How do you think improvement happens? If you're lucky, maybe I'll drop a leg down at fifty. Don't stop! Eighteen..."_

_She could feel his arms shake and resisted the brief urge to ease up on him. This was for his own good as much as her's and the army's. Besides, maybe if he gained more muscle mass than she had, he could stop that unconscious inferiority complex problem he had in bed. He'd taken off his glasses for the workout, and she absentmindedly metal bent them around her as she counted. _

_"C'mon, Baatar, twenty, twenty-one, almost a quarter there," she said._

_"I asked you to be my girlfriend, not my drill instructor."_

_"Your bitterness won't make me ease up. I helped train the dancers, and count your blessings that I'm not doing that training with you."_

_He huffed and gave a particularly weak push up as he continued his set. _

_There was a knock on the door, and Baatar crumpled to the ground. Kuvira rolled her eyes and let whoever made Baatar waste twenty-three push ups in. She was underdressed, having taken off the overwear in order to feed Baatar's inferiority complex into motivation by having to look at her shoulder and arm muscles. Letting anyone but a medic or Baatar see her would normally bother her, but she figured anyone who was bothering her had a good enough reason that she could dismiss it._

_Instead, it was Bolin, clutching a piece of paper and a box of crayons. His eyes widened and his ears reddened, but he made no move to leave._

_"What do you need, Bolin?" she said as she kicked Baatar's side. "Did I tell you to stop?"_

_"What are you doing to Baatar?" Bolin asked._

_Another kick of encouragement and Baatar got back into push up position, groaning the whole way up. "He's trying to gain enough muscle mass to pass for a semi-durable human being instead of a stick of a man that a group of children could kidnap and torture at will."_

_"Thanks, Kuv," Baatar replied._

_Bolin laughed a little. "Good luck, Baatar."_

_Baatar kept doing the set, even if he clearly wasn't trying hard enough, and Kuvira focused on Bolin. "What do you need?"_

_He started blushing again. "I uh, it's...It's not a big deal."_

_She gave him a look. "You came all the way here. Just get it out."_

_"Well, I was writing a letter to Korra and I thought she'd like accompanying drawings, and as I was drawing everyone, I forgot what side your beauty mark was on."_

_That was it? She knew she should expect it from Bolin; he was still making the transition between boy and young man, and she told herself that his charisma and lava bending were enough to bear the change._

_"The right," she said._

_Bolin nodded, dropped to the ground, and used the floor as a makeshift table to draw his single dot on whatever art he'd created for the Avatar, ignoring the perfectly good table a few feet from him. Even Baatar noticed the fumble._

_"Bolin?"_

_He got back up. "Yes, Lady Kuvira?"_

_"One, don't call me that." He leaned back a bit. "And could you do me a favor? I don't think Baatar here gets what we're trying to do."_

_"What do you need me to do?"_

_"Remove your tunic. Show Baatar what a muscled young man should look like."_

_"He's at least five years younger than me!" Baatar protested._

_"Irrelevant," she said to her second-in-command._

_Bolin removed his tunic, leaving his arm, shoulder, and torso muscles all visible or outlined through the undershirt he wore. He didn't seem embarrassed at first, but __upon looking over at Kuvira, he got red again, as if he'd just realized that she wasn't in full uniform._

_"Look at that definition, the amount of muscle, the strength it gives off. That's what you want, Baatar."_

_"He's a soldier," Baatar hissed._

_"As are you. You're just higher ranking. The point is, if a group of bandits or anti-unification group wanted to kidnap someone, they wouldn't choose Bolin. You _look _like the engineer, and you're a hazard. Now, if you looked more like Bolin, we could take away that anxiety."_

_She dug a fist in between his shoulder blades, and he sucked air in through his teeth, but didn't collapse._

_"Thanks, Boss!" Bolin said as he headed towards the door._

_"How bad is that drawing?" Kuvira asked._

_"Great!" he said as he closed the door._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Alright, so a not totally Korra/Kuvira-centric chapter, but I think it's important to give Kuvira a more holistic healing, and although Korra is the main force behind it, I think others can join. :) So, what'd you think? Did you like seeing Kuvira interact with more people than Korra? Was Bolin written okay? Did you like that flashback at the end? (if you can't tell, I'm a Kuvira flashback junkie, and this fic is just too much fun)

School's going to be starting up soon, so I may not get to update as often, but I'll do as best I can.


	10. Reminiscing

**A/N: **Well, this chapter ended up longer than I expected, but I suppose we can call it a thank you for the continued support I've gotten for this fic.

* * *

><p>"I meant to ask you," Kuvira said over another game of Pai Sho and a couple cups of tea with Korra, "how's Wu's democracy going?"<p>

Korra's eyes went to the Pai Sho board. "Um, it could be going better."

It felt so strange to feel a negative feeling at her one-time rival (if he could be graced with that term)'s failure, but then again, it was more about the Earth Kingdom than Wu.

Kuvira took a sip of tea. "How so?"

"People are panicked, I guess. With Wu making that move to step down, the people became afraid of the Dai Li seizing control before a democracy can be set up. And, I don't know, Tenzin and some of the other leaders seem really wary of giving the citizens of the Earth Kingdom so many choices in government considering their history. I'm not completely sold, but everyone's worried that a people who've only had monarchs and a," Korra smiled for just a moment, "tyrannical dictator wouldn't _want_ to have to choose their leaders. It's hard, you know, especially with democracy in Republic City being so new; we don't know the full picture when it comes to pros and cons. President Raiko has mentioned possible problems with voter attendance in elections, and that's with a nation that wanted a democracy. Imagine what kind of chaos could come to the Earth Kingdom if they don't want a democracy."

Kuvira made her next move. "I don't suppose you've attempted to collect data from the people?"

"People in Ba Sing Se and the major Earth Kingdom towns have given solid yes or no answers, but when we asked villages, some of them didn't even know what a democracy was, or what it looked like in action. How could we turn these people on their heads like that?" Korra huffed. "I thought this would be so easy, but it really seems like the Earth Kingdom _likes _someone stepping up or existing in a position of power outside of their grasp and doing the grunt work for them."

"Did you ever consider that maybe that isn't a bad thing? All four nations have existed for thousands of years without elections."

"Don't you hate monarchs?"

"Yes. I'm not talking about someone who believes he or she has the right to rule because of what family they're born into, I'm talking about someone leading a nation because they've proven themselves to be a capable leader. I believed, and call me a giant narcissist, but I still believe I'm fit to lead the Earth Kingdom. You know why? Because I have the skills needed to be a good leader. If everything had gone the way I planned, when I retired, I would've searched the Earth Kingdom for someone worthy of taking my place."

"But how would you be able to guarantee that your personal bias doesn't get in the way of what the people need?"

"Simple. You maintain a cabinet. Form balance within the government system so it isn't one person making the decisions, but it isn't such a huge system that the people are overwhelmed with decision-making."

Korra wrinkled her brow and made her next Pai Sho move. Kuvira got a harmony off her, but Korra hardly noticed. "So…what kind of government is that? Would the people have any direct influence on the government?"

"Give them one job, I suppose. Divide the Earth Kingdom as you please, by state, by town, by population segments, and have them elect the cabinet that the overall leader works with."

"How is the leader put into office?"

"Like I said, based on merit. Perhaps the previous elected cabinet would find him or her."

"But what if everyone in the cabinet isn't fit to rule?"

"Then why were they elected in the first place?"

Korra slammed her first onto the table, knocking a few tiles into the air, but not destroying the game. "I'm the Avatar, not a political scholar! Why am I the one being burdened with this? Why can't Wu leave good enough alone and just be king? We could get him a great group of advisors—"

Korra reached for a Pai Sho tile, but Kuvira put her hand over Korra's stopping her. "No, you're not going to do that, nor should you want that. Don't let my work be in vain. This is about the people, and I know you, and I know you're willing to work and suffer for these people. I promise, a solution will come, one that won't hurt the everyday citizens."

Kuvira might've made it up, but she swore she saw Korra blush. She did definitely smile, though. "Do you think the world leaders would let me take you out of prison and let you finish the job you started? Go more benevolent than tyrant? You still have plenty of supporters."

The idea made Kuvira's heart warm, but she refused to let it heat up too much; she didn't need that much of a shock from the frost of reality. "I highly doubt the leaders would agree, or that it'd be a wise move. I need to stay out of this build while I serve my time. Allowing me to step up would be erasing the pain I caused while in power. I'm willing to lend my knowledge, but I don't think anything past that will work."

"I'll see what Tenzin thinks. He's always seen you more as unbalanced than evil; he'll have a more…neutral opinion, I hope."

"Everyone else still hates me?"

Korra made a Pai Sho move. "Well, no one has a grudge the way Su does, but I think everyone else just doesn't know anything past the Colossus. My cousins might still be holding a grudge against you publicly flipping them off when you denounced world leaders…although Eska liked your super-weapon."

"What about your dad?"

Korra sighed. "He doesn't talk about it. I think it was hard for him to accept that the young woman that saved him and fought so hard to save me turned into the tyrant you were at the end."

Kuvira won herself another harmony.

"So, are your cousins the ones who look the exact same despite being different genders?"

Korra smiled. "That's them. I just like that Desna isn't taller than Eska, and I hope it stays that way." Korra made a move. "Bolin told me that Eska thought he and you were dating." Korra paused. "In fact, she may have believed that up until we said you were in prison and that Bolin stopped working for you."

"Tell your cousins I'd rather date them than Bolin."

"Which one?"

"Like you said, they're the same person. Whichever one liked my spirit weapon."

Korra held back a laugh. "I feel like the only way those two will have a semi-healthy love life will be if they marry another set of fraternal twins that are just as attached to each other as they are and they can become a creepy four-person unit."

Kuvira let Korra get a harmony on her; even after all their time playing, Korra had only improved a little bit. "The idea of that incestuous wedding bed isn't even the worst thought to come out of the madhouse the Four Elements lobby was on the day of Wu's coronation."

Korra made a pouting face. "I heard. There is so much I missed, and it wasn't just you usurping power." She changed positions. "Now you have to tell me what happened."

Kuvira hadn't thought about that day in so long, and she wasn't sure what emotions she was feeling thinking about it. In a way, she couldn't believe that the stupidity that went down in the lobby was for the same event in which she usurped power from Prince Wu.

"Baatar proved his uselessness in a new way that day, almost immediately going over to Su in some pointless attempt to impress his estranged mother, thus abandoning any attempts to quell the idea that we weren't in a real relationship. A couple kids came over and asked for autographs, and that was actually really nice. I didn't often get to spend time interacting with the Earth Kingdom citizens, and seeing people were so happy with my work that they wanted me to write my name on a piece of paper is incredible." Kuvira paused. "As I'm sure you've observed." Kuvira made another move, another harmony. "Then, Prince Wu slides in and starts flirting with me with the most pedestrian pick up lines I've ever heard, and there wasn't even room to look like I wanted to strangle him. I try to defuse the situation before this idiot breaks my composure, tell him I had his suite changed—"

"Why did you have his suite changed?"

"I was housing multiple people; it made sense."

Korra smirked. "Yeah, I'm sure pettiness played no part. Just like not stopping the production of the shirts with your face on them."

"I _told _you that those shirts never came to my attention. Anyway, I told him that I had our suites changed, and he calls me gumdrop. I'd strangle _Baatar _if he called me that, and this exchange is like watching a mentally impaired poodle monkey piss on your leg because what am I supposed to even do to this guy besides develop the most rock-solid justification for what I planned to do."

Korra was biting back a smile, but it wasn't working well. "And where was Kuvira-is-my-sun Baatar Jr. through all this?"

"And that's the worst part—Baatar's still talking to Su, as if it takes more than five seconds for her to tell him that she hates him and for him to pout back to me. I trained with him for over a year, helped him gain fifty pounds of muscle, and he can't even stand by my side and glare at a man-child that, considering I could kill him with two fingers, Baatar could've at least won a fight against. It was pathetic."

Kuvira watched Korra smile for a long while before she burst out laughing.

"I can only imagine how pissed you looked the whole time. Ah, Wu can't get a date, but he can get a reaction out of girls."

Kuvira shrugged and made her next move. "It wasn't much exasperation. I had him at the hotel suite. The gumdrop comment only came into the forefront while he placed that metal on me. He was upset far longer than he was flirting."

Korra laughed again. "It's so bad that I find your bullying him funny. I just have my own experience with Wu invading personal space."

Kuvira raised a brow and leaned back with a smile on her face, Korra's move. "Your turn."

"So Mako and Asami and I were planning on having a lunch to start bonding again, Team Avatar style, but Mako has to bring Wu. This wouldn't have been as awful as it seemed, but I'm trying to have a nice hug with Mako and this guy wedges his way into it. Okay, maybe royals don't know personal boundaries, or this guy's just perpetually in another world, so I ignore it as best I can. There's a lot of explaining I have to give for my absence anyway. Then, he starts asking me to go into the Avatar State and is feeling my arms and at that point, not only was I being turned on to girls, but I think he completely turned me off to guys for the next lifetime." Korra shook her head. "Also, I think that was the day you tried to kidnap him."

Kuvira put up her index finger as she made her next move. "Ordered someone to kidnap. If I had done it, we would've _actually _kidnapped him."

"And he would've had pretty Kuvira all to himself."

Kuvira blushed, taken off guard by the compliment. They made eye contact, and Korra started blushing. "I didn't mean—Bolin told me that when Wu was evacuating the city, he was supposedly singing a song about you being pretty. Should've uh, clarified."

Kuvira looked back at the Pai Sho board. "Don't worry." She moved a piece. "And your experience sounded awful. I empathize."

Korra smiled. "I've never heard you talk about Baatar Jr. with such bitterness. I know they say half the relationship to get over the breakup, but you never talked about him before, not even in side comments."

"I'm simply lamenting my hard work." She paused. "And that goes for him getting captured too. If he'd accepted my offer to train him in some weapon, he could've—" Korra gave her a look. "held his own for more than two seconds."

Korra rubbed her hands together, preparing her next move. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but based on what little I saw, you seemed like you had Baatar in the palm of your hand. Like, professionally, emotionally, physically…"

"Physically? I hope you mean if I could beat him in a fisticuffs match."

Korra smirked. "That too."

Kuvira struggled to find the right words before sighing, "Believe what you will. He was always very…submissive." She moved a tile. "Perhaps to an extreme. It wasn't like he didn't get anything out of the relationship, if that's what you want to hear. He just liked to make me happy and was in tune with particular tastes."

"So basically your entire intimate life was topping him while his hands were secured to the bed with those metal strips you nearly killed me with at Zaofu?"

Kuvira tried to hide her discomfort. "Tell me more about the democracy."

Korra shrugged, and won herself a harmony. "Based on everyone's reviews of your tepid relationship, I'm happy to hear you guys were intimate at all."

"How is this conversation helping me find inner peace?"

"Reaffirming your humanity is all."

Kuvira looked back at the board, wondering if her own wandering mind would win Korra a game. "If that's how you define humanity, I'm quite inhuman at this point."

Korra shrugged. "Six months isn't bad. I went three years. It happens."

Kuvira took a sip of tea, thinking back to the conversation she and Korra had in the Spirit World flowerbed. They'd been so…open with one another, even more so than when Korra first started visiting Kuvira. It was like the Spirit World wasn't a part of the lives they led, and they could shrug off every fight, every attempted murder, every hateful thought and just talk. And they did, for what felt like quite some time. What Korra had gone through was beyond comprehension for Kuvira while they talked, but now…Kuvira knew what helplessness felt like.

She looked up from her tea and locked eyes with Korra.

The moment lasted longer than Kuvira had thought possible, just the two of them, the room silent, seemingly communicating through nothing.

Korra broke the stare first, eyes on the Pai Sho board. "Your turn."

Kuvira made her move. "Thank you."

Korra looked to game board. "I didn't mean to let you get that harmony."

"No, for being here for me. I don't want to think about where I'd be without you."

Korra smiled. "It's been my pleasure. This is one of the first times I've really been able to make a big impact on one person, and honestly, I'm glad you're the foe who wanted to regain balance. Besides, I'm still hoping that you'll teach me how to blind people with metal without actually blinding them once we're out. I feel like if you didn't lose it, you would've succeeded the Beifong sisters and Toph as the greatest metal bender in the world."

Kuvira smiled back. "Assuming I don't wither away once I'm out, I'd be happy to show you a few moves. There are some amazing tag-team metal bending moves I've wanted to use, but there weren't any metal benders in my army up to par."

Korra glanced at Kuvira's arms, freed from the loose shirt with rolled up sleeves. "I don't think you'll be withering away." Korra paused. "So, I got a hold of something that I think you'll get a kick out of."

Kuvira gave her a look. "Is it about my sex life?"

"Nope. It's about Bolin."

Bolin had been kind enough to begin exchanging letters with Kuvira, detailing his accomplishments at his job and assuring her without fail that one day the Beifongs would forgive him, it'd just take time. She smiled a bit thinking of him.

"What did you do?"

Korra pulled a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to Kuvira. Turns out, it was a drawing Kuvira assumed Bolin had done…of her, Varrick, Bolin's pet fire ferret, and Zhu Li.

"Where are my eyebrows?" Kuvira commented.

Korra giggled. "I only came to appreciate it after I fought you. Talk about making you less scary. Forget about your eyebrows—where's the top of your hair? If it makes you feel any better, he only gave himself eyebrows," Korra said as she pulled out another drawing, this of Bolin and Korra.

Kuvira shook her head. "I remember him coming into my quarters while I was training Baatar and he asked me what side my beauty mark was on. Apparently, he forgot to ask a few things."

Korra laughed. "Your eyebrows would be hard to draw. But aren't these great? I think these are great. He even captured your tyranny."

Kuvira scrutinized the drawing again. "I have never stood like that."

"I can actually pinpoint an exact moment when you did this exact pose after defeating someone in battle."

"Who?"

"Me." Korra smiled. "Anyway, that picture captures your likeness completely. And that's not even the best part!" Korra actually pulled more drawings out. "He drew nearly everything! Oh, I'm so glad I kept these. Just look at them!"

There were fictional accounts of Kuvira having given Bolin a makeover through song; the day Kuvira made Baatar carry her around piggyback from the moment he woke up until he went to bed the day he skipped some of his training; grandiose celebrations Kuvira was fairly certain didn't happen after some uniting states; a snowball fight in which everyone pelted Baatar with snowballs, one from Kuvira drawing a thick red crayon line of blood; Kuvira hugging a mech suit (complete with heart between them) with a crying Baatar and a happy Varrick in the background; and a particularly telling picture about everyone in the inner circle—her, Baatar, Varrick, Zhu Li, Bolin, and a few others—passed out on a floor covered in bottles.

"I don't know what this is depicting," Kuvira commented.

Korra grinned and punched Kuvira's shoulder. "Have some humor. These are hilarious, and trust me, I don't believe you participated in any giant parties, drank a drop of alcohol, or got involved in snowball fights. Keep in mind, too, that these were accompanied by such overly formal letters that if it wasn't for the fact that they came together, I wouldn't know which letter went with which picture."

Kuvira went back through the pictures, and she had to admit, they were pretty funny. Bolin hadn't improved his art since the first set of drawings, so these pictures were a colorful mess.

"This one's my favorite," Korra said, handing her another drawing.

It was a picture of Kuvira metal bending against a large group of angry hog monkeys, Bolin, Varrick, Zhu Li, Baatar, and a few faceless soldiers behind her. Kuvira smiled.

"This one is true." She studied the picture further. "Ignoring the Avatar State part."

Korra nodded. "Impressive."

Kuvira shrugged. "It was in a small village. Besides the bandits, they were plagued by a rogue group of those things. They cut off our entrance back to the train. Obviously, Baatar and Varrick were completely useless, Zhu Li didn't have a quick answer, and Bolin could only take them for so long."

"What'd you do? You didn't kill them, did you?"

Kuvira shook her head. "The thing with animals is that the blinding them with metal technique works wonders. Once they're confused, you bind their legs together and they're done." Kuvira pushed down the fabric covering her shoulder, revealing the remains of a large scar. "One of the creatures got a bite off me. It was really early in the campaign, so that incident convinced me to get some really good metal shoulder plates."

Korra shook her head. "You're kind of badass. Not gonna lie."

Kuvira snorted. "Says the _Avatar_."

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_After I was poisoned, I would have done anything to feel in control," Korra said, now at eye level with Kuvira as they sat in the spirit flowerbed. "Everyone says they understand what it's like, to feel that helpless, but it's not something you can't understand hearing it from other people. It's something raw, something indescribable. I'm not even sure if painful is the right word."_

_Just hearing Korra say the word pain reminded Kuvira of her very grounded, agonizing pain in her abdomen; she'd guess ribs, or even a punctured organ. She took deep breaths as Korra talked, mesmerized by the Avatar despite everything. "No one talked about you while you were gone, and—if we're talking about the same feeling, your strength and power truly are limitless."_

_"__It's amazing, when you think about it. The strength of the human spirit, how we can hit such intense lows and still be able to get up and improve enough to where the suffering stops feeling real."_

_Kuvira focused on a flower. "My pain never stopped being real. It's like a bone that was set wrong. The initial agony of my parents leaving me is gone, but I can hardly go days without feeling some residual pain—the doubt, the fear of it happening again, the anger that it happened."_

_Korra faltered. "Su…Su never fully replaced your parents, did she?"_

_Kuvira bit back tears, but they were flowing beyond her control now, soaking her skin, her body trembling, choking her up to where she could hardly speak. "No, Su provided shelter, nourishment, and training when I was a kid, but as much as I forced the fantasy, she never saw me as more than one of her charity cases and a protege. I've never…"_

_Korra crawled a bit forward, and seemed to want to reach her hand out, but kept them to herself. "I wish I would've realized it sooner. There was so much pain you were trying to numb, so much insecurity you tried to compensate for… No one deserves to be hurt like that twice."_

_Kuvira tried to catch her breath. "And in the end, what does it all matter? I hurt the people I vowed to help. I'm no better than my parents."_

_"__Kuvira…"_

_"__They used to call me pathetic. Day in, day out, whether it was while learning to earthbend or just the way I stood while in their presence. I spent the entire campaign thinking, 'I bet they're out here, and I bet when they see me, they'll swallow their words.'" Kuvira swallowed. "But they were right. I am pathetic, and they're going to get the last laugh."_

_When Kuvira looked up, Korra's gaze had grown intense, and she was looking right at her. "No, they're not going to get the last laugh." She paused. "Because I'm not letting you be abandoned again. If Su or Baatar Jr. or your parents aren't going to be here for you, I will."_

_"__How can I beli—?"_

_Korra bridged the remaining couple feet between them and wrapped herself around Kuvira. Shuddering for a breath, tears sticky on her face, Kuvira's last little bit of resolve was gone, and she embraced the human warmth the way a baby animal nuzzles into its mother, resting her flushed and tearstained cheek against Korra's collarbone. _

_"__I'll give you an Avatar promise that I won't leave you," Korra whispered to her._

_As Kuvira sniffed and readjusted in the embrace, Korra didn't flinch. It was like being…Kuvira couldn't even say if it was like being in a mother's arms. But it felt incredible. Maybe Korra was lying and they had died, because sitting in this flowerbed, the petals like velvet on her skin, the Spirit World's warmth like a spring afternoon, and nothing sounding and feeling as good as feeling Korra's chest rise and fall against Kuvira's, feeling her breath on the top of her head, felt otherworldly. Kuvira shut her eyes._

_At some point, Kuvira inched away from Korra, and Korra smiled when she looked back up. "We should get back soon, but there's no reason anyone needs to know what happened."_

_Korra made a motion as if she were rubbing her eyes, and Kuvira took the sign to wipe the tears off her face._

_"__What'd you do over those three years?" Kuvira asked, barely above a whisper._

_Korra started collecting flowers, and recounted her tale, voice even and honest. As Korra talked, she put a flower in her hair, and placed one in Kuvira's hair as well._

_"__There. Now you look better," Korra said._

_Kuvira sighed. "We have to go back at some point, don't we?"_

_Korra shrugged. "I don't think there is food here. Or bathrooms. So, if either of those sound appealing in the future, we'll have to go."_

_Kuvira tried to get up, but the pain in her chest flared up, nearly beyond what she thought possible for pain. She cried out and collapsed back into the flowers. Korra rushed over to her. _

_"__Can you walk?"_

_"__I just…can't get up."_

_"__Guess you got beat up more than you thought."_

_Working slowly, Korra helped Kuvira get up off the flower bed, but her next move was to scoop Kuvira into her arms, holding Kuvira piggyback from the front. As much as Kuvira wanted to let go, she clung to the Avatar and took the break from pain having Korra support her legs gave her._

_"__I have to surrender to Raiko. I can't walk in like this," Kuvira said._

_"__You could, if you swallowed your pride." Korra walked over to the edge of the portal and paused before settling her back onto the ground. "How about an arm over my shoulder?"_

_"__Okay."_

_Korra got down on her knees, Kuvira put her arm around Korra's shoulder, and Korra held it in place. "Alright, one, two, three, up."_

_They rose together, and even though Kuvira couldn't take a deep breath without a burst of pain, she could walk back through the portal. Both their flowers were on the ground, but they looked peaceful where they were. As the yellow light surrounded them, Kuvira looked over at Korra. Korra smiled a bit, and all Kuvira could think to say, even though there was so much more to be said, was, "Thank you, Avatar."_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Alright, time for a slew of short author's notes:

1. I did change how I went about Kuvira's sex life; the mention has been changed from earlier in the fic, and Kuv has now had sex multiple times with Baatar ;)

2. I will admit to perusing the Tumblr LOK tags, so if something seems similar, I give that piece of art or head canon my acknowledgement.

Anyway, yay for politics and flowers! Hope everyone has a great weekend.


	11. The Love Sage

Kuvira realized she'd been isolated for far too long not from growing familiarity with a single room, but from the day Korra came into Kuvira's cell with varri-cakes and Kuvira didn't have the foggiest idea why. She didn't think it was her birthday, and Korra shouldn't even know what that was. Was it some holiday? She'd gone to prison in the winter, but at that point, she hadn't kept track of how long she'd been inside to know what season it was then.

"What're those for?" Kuvira asked as Korra set down the food.

"It's your one year anniversary."

Kuvira gave Korra a look. "Of being in prison? You don't celebrate that."

"Why not?" Korra took a seat. "It's one less year you have to spend in here. And I know you're a total buzzkill, but are you really going to turn down a party?"

She eyed the varri-cakes. She'd never actually had one before, Varrick having only invented them within the past five years, and in the time they'd been out, no matter how often Varrick provided them during the campaign, she'd been on a strict diet to maintain muscle and energy. She'd enjoyed sweets like any kid, but the taste had never really translated to a huge sweet tooth in adulthood.

She looked up at Korra; yet, the Avatar was doing something really nice for her, and she should be as appreciative as possible. "I suppose, for you, I can make an exception."

Korra smiled and pushed a varri-cake towards her. "To our friendship."

Kuvira smiled and knocked her varri-cake against Korra's. "To our friendship."

The cake was overpoweringly sweet, like she could taste the mass production involved in its making, and the fact that it had an even sweeter filling was like a punch in the gut. For a brief, horrible moment Kuvira thought she'd throw up, but the feeling passed as her system processed the shock from having non-bland food again.

"The guards told me that I might not want to give you outside food because it can shock the system after living off prison food for a while, so if you're torturing yourself eating that, you can stop."

"I'm fine."

But she did set the cake down.

"Good, because if you do throw up, that translates to quite a symbol to our friendship."

Kuvira rolled her eyes good naturedly. "No Pai Sho today?"

Korra shook her head. "I actually wanted to ask you a question." Korra paused. "So, proposals."

Kuvira smiled. "After only a year? Bold, aren't you?"

Korra blushed. "It's—a year isn't that bad! I could've proposed after a month."

"And get immediately rejected? Sure."

"Should've known you'd be conservative about it. How long did Baatar Jr. wait?"

"Nearly three years."

Korra sat back. "What's holding me back?"

"Three things, and these are general observations, so don't go assuming this is a personal attack. One, you've only been dating for a year. Two, you're…how old, twenty…?"

"Twenty-two."

"Twenty-two. Three, Asami is your first girlfriend."

Korra had her arms crossed, but she didn't look angry. "Keep going."

"A year is a very good milestone to reach, but it's also the gamble age to propose. It's technically long enough to see a good chunk of a person, but it also may be just under the amount of time you need to date someone to know if they're marriage material. And don't give me the 'I've known her for more than a year' excuse. I knew Baatar for thirteen years before we got together, and I learned so much more about him when we started dating. It's a completely different side to people, and you need to know, without a doubt, that they aren't going to lose their minds when a relationship goes from platonic to romantic."

Korra nodded. "It was that way with Mako, sure, but with Asami…hardly anything has changed. We're still just as good friends, and she certainly hasn't turned into a crazy girlfriend." Korra smiled. "She may have even gotten more supportive and caring since."

Kuvira nodded. "Then you've thought that one over. Your age."

"How old were you when Baatar proposed?"

"He was twenty-five and I was twenty-four. There comes an age where your love is no longer cute and overly passionate and young, but it's also the age where people aren't as clouded by lust and love that they mistake people for someone good for them."

"Asami's twenty-three and I'm the Avatar."

Kuvira laughed. "Does being the Avatar make every year count for seven, like animals?"

Korra pointed to herself. "Fully. Realized."

Kuvira smirked. "So in Avatar years, how old are you? I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and go with five to one. I don't know, Korra, you may even be too _old_."

"When did you gain a sense of humor?"

"I need some way to entertain myself when you aren't here. For all you know, I've completely lost my mind."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Third reason."

"You're bisexual, right?" Korra nodded. "So, really, this is a totally new experience for you, beyond even what it takes to have a first boyfriend." Korra wrinkled her brow. "Let's face it: no one's going to fight you because you're bisexual, but a lot of the people are still not used to a world with anything other than heterosexuality, and parents still teach their kids about love with the female-male model. Tell me you weren't." Korra shook her head. "So you grew up being taught how a relationship works with a girl and boy. So, in a way, you had preparation for dating Mako. It was familiar, and even if you had miles more to go before you understood how to be in a relationship, there were certain things that were understood, that've been conventions for thousands of years. But, now you have Asami, and tell me, has the past year gone by in a rush of new experiences and new social norms?"

"I mean, of course, but I don't see—"

"It's practically been a hurricane of different means of gaining pleasure and satisfaction in life, and what gives us more of a rush than something new that we enjoy? Now, this plays into your relationship because you've, whether you realized it or not, have associated that new, passionate, overwhelming experience of falling in love and interacting with another female into your relationship with Asami. Does this mean your relationship is illegitimate or built more off feelings and than love? No, but it means that you have to _know _that it's Asami that you love unconditionally, and not being able to cuddle and confine in and have sex with another female."

For a long time, Korra just stared at Kuvira. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-five."

"When did you become a love sage?"

Kuvira shrugged. "I've had a lot of time to think, and I spent a long time deconstructing my relationship with Baatar, see how we came to be, how legitimate the love was, so I could predict if we'd ever be able to have a future."

Korra hesitated.

"What'd you figure out?"

"That I have a better chance seducing the guard who watches me shower and form a new relationship from scratch." Kuvira paused. "About your proposal. Okay, so can I trust that you'll think over everything I just talked out? I'm not trying to bring down your big moment, I'd just hate to see you get hurt."

"Thanks. Anyway, well, first, I was wondering your opinion on the object of engagement."

"Don't you use betrothal necklaces?"

"No, it's a Northern Water Tribe custom. Katara only had one because it was her grandmother's, who was Northern Water Tribe." Korra paused. "I'm sorry I keep referring to Katara as if you've met her."

"I've read plenty on her. It's fine."

"But, no, Southern Water Tribe just do rings. My problem is what kind of ring to give."

"Does she have any affinity for her ancestral nation?"

Korra shook her head. "Her family's one of those families where a Fire Nation man came over to the Earth Kingdom during the Hundred Year War and created a family. She never talks about it."

Kuvira shrugged. "Then get her something she can match with enough of her outfits."

"Isn't that not sentimental?"

"Rings are more fashion than anything, really. If you love her, and she loves you, you make the sentimental value behind it."

"What did your ring look like?"

"Platinum band encrusted in white gold, diamond. It was a little more flashy that I needed, but I always thought it was sweet that he picked a ring that would require him going through more trouble to make sure it was the right size when he could've picked a metal I could've bent."

"Okay." She exhaled. "How'd he propose?"

"It was after an exhausting negotiation with a town that ultimately got us to seventy percent unification, he told me to cancel any plans I had that night. We had dinner in our car, and did that trick where he put the ring in my drink."

"Wait, isn't that risking that you swallow the ring?"

"It would, except…" She gave Korra a look.

"Master metalbender." She paused. "Did you like that?"

"Personally, he did it perfectly. I don't think I would've had the guts to accept it if there were other people there. It depends on how private your relationship is. Considering I hardly hugged Baatar in public, we were very private."

Korra sat back. "I'm not sure how private Asami and I are."

"What was your first date?"

"We went on a vacation into the Spirit World." Korra's eyes lit up. "Oh, I know! I'll bring Asami into the Spirit World and have the aye-aye spirit lead her to it."

"Can I just make a wild guess here and say this aye-aye spirit has no knowledge of human world customs?"

"Yes."

"Then I wouldn't give it something you actually paid for. I wouldn't tell you to involve the spirits—you never know which ones understand romance."

"What about Iroh and his tea shop? He would know."

"Yes, but if you're going to involve the Spirit World, wouldn't it be better to involve the parts of it that let your romance bloom, that represent your relationship? Somehow, I doubt spirits were much of an addition." She looked to the table. "A hindrance, rather."

"I'm going to get you out of prison the moment you consider it a comfortable way to live life and exile you to the Spirit World for the remainder of your sentence just so you can appreciate them."

"Good luck getting Raiko to agree to that one."

Korra planted her elbows on the table. "Alright Empress Romance, what do you think I should do?"

"I told you, something that reflects your relationship. If you truly can't come up with anything, just hang the ring off her car mirror and wait for her to realize it's there."

"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic."

Kuvira shrugged, giving nothing away. Korra's eyes lit up, but she didn't say why. The door opened to Kuvira's cell, and a guard tossed in a cardboard box, saying a deadpan, "Happy one year, Captain Kuvira."

The box practically exploded as it reached the floor, individually wrapped tampons and other toiletries littering the floor.

"If tampons are considered a one year present, I think I should check out the hygiene codes around here," Korra commented.

Kuvira ignored Korra's comment and got down to inspect the box. Some of the guards had been making suggestions that Kuvira may be getting more privileges lately, but she couldn't be sure if they had finally taken the giant step and taken her off suicide watch.

She sifted through the contents of the box, and smiled at what she saw.

"If you're actually excited about the tampons, I'm so sorry for assuming," Korra said.

Kuvira shook her head and pulled out a razor. "No, Korra, this is about something a bit bigger."

Korra looked at the razor. "They trust you with that now?"

Kuvira nodded. "Yes. The guards said once I was deemed stable enough for sharp hygiene tools, it meant I was off suicide watch."

Korra's expression brightened, and she got down on the floor and hugged Kuvira. "Congratulations! Ah, man, I thought that was taking a while."

The hug lasted a second too long, both of them realizing it at the same time, quick eye contact and blushing galore. They pulled away, and spent a few seconds doing nothing but collecting the hygiene products on the floor and returning them to the box.

"You know, in retrospect, couldn't you cause just as much damage biting your arm as you could trying to hurt yourself with a razor like that?" Korra said.

"Tell that to the guards, Fully Realized Avatar."

For a moment, Korra didn't respond, and Kuvira caught her own snark. She couldn't even be sure why she was acting this way; usually, even in prison, she tried hard to control what she said. It was like the insanity had picked an exact time to start setting in, like a disease in her brain. Why had she given Korra that long speech about choosing a partner wisely instead of just given her advice about engagement?

"So…I guess we're officially alone…for the first time since you were in the wood cage," Korra said. "Kinda weird. I feel like I should take advantage of this, but I don't know how." She adjusted her position. "Do you have seismic sense?"

"Yes."

"Can you detect lies?"

"No."

"Has Su or Baatar Jr. written back?"

"Not Su, but Baatar and I have been in contact, exchange a couple letters every month. He goes between pouring out his resentment and grief over our relationship and giving me day-to-day reports of how Zaofu is. I suppose it's nothing I shouldn't expect."

Korra looked around the room. "Did you date anyone besides Baatar?"

"Of course, you think I'd marry the first guy I dated?"

"Possibly."

"Well, no, I didn't. I dated a handful of guys in Zaofu. Most of them metal benders I trained with over the years."

"Anyone I know?"

"How should I know? You met all the guards when Su went along with that scum Aiwei's plan to put the blame on one of my guards."

"You dated _the guards_? While you were _captain_?"

"No, I didn't—one. Okay, one of my guards, but it was before he was an official member of the guard, and it was one night."

Korra grinned. "Who?"

"I'm not at liberty to say considering I'm a war criminal now."

"That doesn't make sense."

"I'm protecting him is all. I'm sure his lips are sealed. Besides, it was technically against the rules."

"I don't know if you've mentioned this, but you hated Aiwei, didn't you?"

"I hated Su not trusting her unofficial family, yes. I think Aiwei was a pawn for her controlling nature; she mentally couldn't stand the thought that anyone disagreed with her, so she made sure she'd be able to seek out any hiccups in the system and snuff them out. It made my guards terrified to even get near Aiwei, and made even the most insignificant secrets and private matters get blown out of proportion. For what I gave her, it was a slap in the face for Su to give someone that kind of power over me."

"But…didn't Aiwei also take secrets from Su's kids?"

"Who do you think he focused on, though? Look, bottom line is I'm glad he was the mole and got kicked out, but really, I have no right to complain about Su's lie detecter considering I wouldn't have been able to go become the Great Uniter with him there."

Korra made eye contact. "You and Su are so alike. Honestly, everyone keeps telling me that I'm stupid to think she'll ever make contact with you again, but I think one day, she's going to realize the part she played in your slippery slope and she'll have no other way to handle the emotion than to acknowledge it to you."

Kuvira thought about breaking the eye contact, look away to stew in the pain she still felt over what she did to Su, but she was beginning to find something comforting in Korra's blue eyes. The Avatar reflected hope, and Kuvira still needed a weekly injection of hope.

The moment stopped as another guard opened the door, this one with a tray of food. Korra got up and received the tray. The guard studied Korra for a moment, but decided to leave them be.

"Okay, this is the nicest prison in the Earth Kingdom. They just wanted to watch me squirm, say your food was so bland it'd change your body chemistry…" Korra said.

Korra took a seat on the floor, set the tray between them, and actually took a sampling off her food off the tray and tasted it. "Okay, this could use salt, but it's not going to prevent a prisoner from digesting outside world food. Call your guards out on that bull."

Kuvira studied her. "That is the only food I'm going to get for hours."

Korra looked down at the tray, straight faced, then back up at Kuvira. She smiled. "Fight me for it."

"With what bending?"

"No bending. I want to know who'd win in an old fashioned match." Korra reached for something else on the tray, but Kuvira caught her hand. Korra smiled. "Prison can keep the earth from the earthbender, but you can't take the earth out of the earthebender."

Korra used Kuvira's tension on her arm to knock her off what stance she'd taken while on her knees, landing in a heap a few feet away. Korra got up, moved the tray to the table, and in sidestep to avoid Kuvira grabbing her, fell victim to her own stance being broken as she moved. Kuvira took her down, but Korra flipped the two within seconds. Kuvira struggled to get out of Korra's grip, her mind only blasting through possible metalbending moves she'd use to get out of this. As much good as Korra defeating her at Republic City had gone, it'd sure done a number on her confidence fighting her.

"C'mon, Captain Kuvira! It took you longer than this to pin me down at Zaofu," Korra said, a teasing rather than malicious edge in her voice.

At that point, it was Korra's physical strength versus Kuvira's, and Korra not only wasn't in prison, but the Avatar.

Luckily, a guard walked in before Kuvira would've just flat out surrendered.

Kuvira glanced up; it was the guard who watched her shower, carrying some miscellaneous supply Kuvira probably did need but didn't interest her then. He smirked as he took in the scene.

"If this goes any farther, I'm going to have to report to my superiors, Avatar Korra. Prisoners can't consent."

Korra smirked right back, released her hold on Kuvira, leaving Kuvira as the one holding Korra. The sudden change in force would've just knocked Korra off her, but Korra grabbed hold last second and they flipped over again, Kuvira now on top. "She seems into it." Korra kept smiling, clearly recognizing the guard after Kuvira had described him to her months ago. "Besides, why would you want to leave this? It's the most you'll get of her for quite some time."

The guard turned red and started looking around wildly, as if someone else was watching all of them. His response once he got his composure was, "Aren't you in a relationship already?"

Kuvira pulled away from Korra, and Korra got to her feet. "What are you talking about? We're both in relationships. I'm with Asami and she's in a relationship with herself."

The guard set down what he'd brought and exited. Kuvira gave Korra a look. "You know how he's going to take that, right?"

Korra was silent for a moment. "And I honestly meant that to mean that you're a giant narcissist." She shrugged. "Now that no one's watching you anymore, no harm, no foul, right?"

Kuvira shrugged. "Have I earned my food yet?"

"It _is_ your special day."

The two of them spent their time left together in relative silence. Kuvira couldn't speak for Korra, but she was deep in thought. Something had felt so different about that little wrestling match. Some aspects made sense, like how Kuvira hadn't fought as well in close combat, but other parts just…didn't. Like how she hadn't been panicking to get out from under Korra's grip. The only other person she'd let pin her down like that was Baatar, and even then, she'd teasingly put herself back on top even while they made out.

She hadn't been…well, enjoying Korra so close, had she? In the other contexts in which they'd been physically close, Kuvira had been broken, and had enjoyed it for the comfort. But now, she wasn't depressed or helpless or any more than annoyed at how out of practice she was. So, why was she content with Korra's touch? There was some psychological kink that being in solitary had done to Kuvira's mind, and that was as far as she would take it.

If anything, the orphan syndrome she'd only recently begun to accept as an actual part of her was acting up, and since Korra was the first one to show her real compassion, she had formed an attachment to the Avatar. It didn't illegitimize their friendship, but Kuvira had to be careful not to take anything Korra did the wrong way.

As Korra walked to the door, Kuvira asked, "Do you use seismic sense?"

"No one ever taught me."

Kuvira was honestly flabbergasted that someone like the Avatar didn't know the basic skill, but it also made her feel...happy. "You want to learn?"

Korra smiled. "Same time, same place?"

Maybe it was just that part that was making her happy.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Okay, so not much major development, but I think it's important to see their friendship functioning on a less emotionally taxing day. Things are looking up, eh? (Ignoring Su, anyway xD). Once again, thank you to everyone who has reviewed/favorited/followed/read this story! All you guys are amazing and keep me writing. :)


	12. A New Sense

"Alright, I am so pumped! Let's go learn some seismic sense!" Korra said as she entered Kuvira's prison cell their next meeting.

"You may be a bit disappointed; I can't guarantee that you'll be getting into any serious action this lesson," Kuvira answered as she removed her shoes. "It all depends on how fast you learn."

Korra grinned. "I'm pretty damn fast."

"Alright. Take off your shoes, then."

Korra practically threw her shoes against the wall she was so excited. "You have no idea how exciting this is. Learning bending from a former enemy? It's such an Aang move."

Facing away from Korra, Kuvira let herself smile. "I thought you were being your own person now."

"My own person who appreciates a good parallel."

"Alright, let's get started. Get in your earthbending stance."

Korra did so, and Kuvira stood facing her.

"How much time have you spent connecting to the element?"

"If it involved standing still, breathing, and concentrating, it didn't happen in my initial training, if ever. Metal bending was the last time I learned new earth bending from a teacher, and we just got to work."

"Okay, then welcome to the core principles of earthbending. Stance." Korra fixed her slackened stance. "Now, I want you to close your eyes and really feel the floor beneath you. Seismic sense is extending the web of your awareness of what you can feel right now." Korra took a deep breath and maintained her position. "What do you feel?"

"I…don't know if I'm feeling the right thing."

"Can you feel your heartbeat from the floor? Concentrate on that."

A few moments of near silence passed before Korra said, "I feel it."

"Do you feel anything else? You're not the only one sending vibrations through the floor right now. See if you can feel me, a guard walking outside…"

Korra grimaced. "I can't tell if I'm just imagining it or not."

Kuvira opened her eyes and approached Korra. "Here," she said as she took Korra's hand and laid it over her throat. "This is the rhythm of my heartbeat. Got it?" Korra hadn't moved a muscle, and once she did, Kuvira pulled away. "Try again."

Korra closed her eyes and started to breathe. Kuvira kept her eyes open this time, switching her posture so she was as grounded into the earth as possible.

"I think I feel you. You're a few feet from me."

"Good."

They practiced feeling the vibrations of the earth for a bit longer before Kuvira had Korra open her eyes.

"Now, the motion of this one is one of the easiest earth bending moves you'll learn," Kuvira said as she demonstrated, slamming her foot into the ground.

With just that motion, Kuvira got a clear picture of the room—where she'd left her tweezers on the shelf behind her to where Korra stood—and the guts of the building below her. They kept a pod of general population below her, and she could map out the exact placement of the cells and the people inside.

Korra mimicked the motion, eyes closed. When her eyelids fluttered open, awe was written in her eyes. "That's amazing. I could see you, know exactly what position you were in…"

"Did you feel below?"

Korra repeated the motion. "Yeah. They've got a cell block down there."

"Good. You've got a basic grip on seismic sense for surveillance purposes. But, as well and good as that is, what you need it for is in combat."

"Combat?"

Kuvira exhaled. "Avatar Aang would've died in his battle against Fire Lord Ozai if not for seismic sense. Don't underestimate its power."

"Wait, what're you talking about?"

Kuvira picked up a book off her shelf. "So the White Lotus not only doesn't teach you seismic sense, but they don't teach you about your past lives either."

Korra shrugged, sheepish smile on her face. "I think they figured I could connect with them."

Kuvira tossed her a makeshift blindfold. "Basically, Avatar Aang exited the Avatar State without killing Ozai, leaving him free on a rock pillar. Aang landed with his back turned to Ozai, and Ozai, in his process of attack, sent a vibration through the rock that allowed Aang to sense his attack and block it."

Korra put on the blindfold and assumed a fighting stance. Kuvira started to walk around Korra with the touch she used to use while dancing, knowing Korra would have to try hard to feel her. For a few moments, Korra didn't move with her, and slammed her foot down. Kuvira sensed the vibrations Korra made and dodged Korra's air bending attack while throwing the book at Korra's head.

Korra removed the blindfold and rubbed her head. Kuvira smirked. "Did you feel the vibrations of that one?"

"Yes." Korra winced as she rubbed her head and exhaled. "What happened? How'd you attack me right after I did seismic sense?"

"When you're fighting an earth bending master, especially one that is proficient in seismic sense, you have to keep in mind that I can feel the vibrations you have to make to feel your environment and opponent. To truly master this, you have to be able to use it by feeling the vibrations I make and attacking direct points. You don't find me, you let me lead you to me."

"Okay… So what is that move good for?"

"Surveying an environment. So, for instance, if you ever find yourself in need of assassinating a world leader while they're sleeping, you can use seismic sense and be able to tell if they put someone else in their place."

Korra paused. "Su isn't really good at seismic sense, is she?"

Kuvira rolled her eyes. "She made it too easy." Kuvira rubbed her hands together and picked up the book. "I'm sure you've already mastered neutral jing. Maybe you just haven't recognized it as such."

Korra paused. "Is that some 'true method of earthbending' that everyone said Toph would teach me one day but never did?" Kuvira nodded. "Why didn't I think to ask her when we were in the swamp!"

"You're learning it now and it wouldn't have helped you beat me, so get over it. Like I said before, it's all about waiting for your opponent to reveal his position and attack through the vibrations he sends through the earth. Until you know what they're doing, you do nothing but hold your ground."

"It'd help if you walked with a heavier step."

She supposed it was more advanced for Korra to sense lighter vibrations. "Okay, we'll try that."

Kuvira picked up another book. "I get that you don't have rocks to chuck at me, but do you think you could use something else?"

The only non-threatening objects in the room were the Pai Sho tiles. Kuvira picked them up and Korra put the blindfold back on. At first Kuvira walked with a heavy step, and Korra followed her easily. She lightened her step to a normal walk and started throwing the Pai Sho tiles at her. Korra dodged close to all of them. Kuvira took her dancer's walk, and Korra struggled, but the moment Kuvira had to switch footing for a good shot at Korra, she blocked the tile and sent it right back at Kuvira.

"Nice work. You are a fast learner," Kuvira said.

Korra beamed as she removed the blindfold. "Thanks. One more go?"

Kuvira smiled. "You think we're even close to done for today?"

Korra put the blindfold back on, and Kuvira started moving. It seemed without even speaking that they agreed to an all out sparring match, Korra throwing air bending punches as she discovered Kuvira's positions and Kuvira taking advantage of the furniture to get her advantage. Korra kept up as best she could, but when Kuvira started leaving the ground, she had a harder time dodging blows. The bit of competitive spirit Kuvira still had her utilizing this like mad, turning Korra in circles. Kuvira couldn't say for certain, but it seemed like Korra was actually getting frustrated as time went on.

"Focus, Korra," Kuvira said.

Korra whipped around and sent a blast of air at Kuvira, and she dodged it. But, Korra was smiling now. They exchanged a series of blows and dodges before Kuvira determined her end move. There was another one of those obnoxious history books lying on her table, and a chair facing out. She slid across the floor with the grace of a dance routine and jumped onto the chair. Korra didn't turn to the attack, and Kuvira launched herself off the chair.

In the exact moment the book left Kuvira's fingertips and whizzed towards Korra, Korra turned around and shot an air blast at Kuvira. With the perfect synchronicity of their fight in the Colossus, the air blast threw Kuvira against the wall and the book hit Korra square in the forehead. Both of them went back and crashed back down to the floor with minimal padding.

"Ugh, I thought we agreed that wouldn't happen again," Korra groaned.

The door opened, and not one, but three guards stood outside.

"Is…everything okay in here?" one asked.

Korra looked them right in the eye. "What do you think?"

They exchanged looks and slowly closed the door. Once it was fully shut, the two laughed.

"I would've never seen that sneak attack coming, but last second I felt the chair move and I knew," Korra said.

"You're on your way, Avatar."

Korra rubbed her forehead. "I'm just relieved that you didn't kill me."

* * *

><p>Sure, it at had only been three days since Korra had last visited Kuvira, but she figured Kuvira wouldn't mind extra company. Besides, Asami had come to her the night before saying she was finally ready to face and forgive Kuvira for killing Hiroshi, and what kind of girlfriend would Korra be if she didn't try her best to arrange everything as soon as possible? It wasn't hard; playing the Avatar card could still get her a fair amount, and Lin hadn't been sticking around the prison much to tell her no.<p>

Eleven am, and Korra had high hopes for some bonding. She had watched Asami grieve and rant and recover for the past year, and something told her this wouldn't necessarily go smoothly, but it would go well. Kuvira had been expressing a desire to apologize to Asami as well, so there wouldn't even be any conflict. High hopes.

A guard opened the door to Kuvira's cell, but Korra paused.

"Lemme show you something," Korra said to Asami.

Korra closed her eyes, stepped into the cell, and shot her foot into the floor.

"Now, without opening my eyes, and I say that Kuvira left three books out on the table, moved a chair to the wall, left the bathroom door open and…is asleep right now."

Korra opened her eyes and peered in, Asami's awe at Korra's newfound ability second priority.

"Please don't tell me all you do is sleep when I'm not here," Korra commented, knowing Kuvira would've been awakened by now.

As much of a joke as it was, part of Korra was concerned. Did Kuvira just put on a mask of contentment when Korra was around, and went around depressed whenever she wasn't there?

"It's so crazy to think that's my father's killer right there," Asami mumbled to Korra.

Korra shrugged. "Yeah, she's actually kind of normal."

She focused on Kuvira, who still hadn't gotten up, and an idea popped into her head. It wasn't a good idea, but she had to try it. Kuvira was sleeping on her side…

"Up and at em, Sifu Kuvira!" Korra said as she used air bending to launch Kuvira's mattress into the ceiling.

The mattress crashed down onto the bed frame, and Kuvira managed to stay in it, but the blood on the ceiling and oozing onto her hands wasn't exactly encouraging.

"For five years I worked night shifts for Su, when you were kidnapped, I was up for thirty-six straight hours, on the campaign I slept fourteen hours a week, and now you're telling me I can't sleep in _while in prison_," Kuvira muttered as she walked to the bathroom, hands and lower half of face red with blood.

Once the door shut, Korra and Asami exchanged a glance. "For the record, I didn't mean for that to happen," Korra said.

"Honestly," Asami's hand went to the back of her neck, "that was the most humanizing thing you could've done to her."

Korra gave her a girlfriend a smile. "She's going to kill me."

At that point, she couldn't tell if she'd improved or vastly hindered the situation, but at least Asami didn't seem as scared as she had on the way over.

* * *

><p>Kuvira had been woken up in some unpleasant ways in the past, but having a mattress slam her face up against the ceiling had officially taken the prize. Thank the spirits that it hadn't broken her nose, but the blood didn't stop gushing until she'd turned a light blue hand towel completely red-purple, and had to stand out between Korra and Asami like a kid after having been kicked in the face on the playground.<p>

"You've mastered Su's level of seismic sense, and that's not a compliment," Kuvira said after Korra explained that she thought she sensed Kuvira had been sleeping on her side.

Korra still kept the sheepish smile. "No one ever gained master status after one lesson."

Kuvira rolled her eyes and readjusted the towel. The blood seemed to be tapering off.

"So, I feel like since you two don't technically know each other…" Korra said. Kuvira looked up and made eye contact with Asami; there was something swirling in those eyes, but a part of Kuvira didn't think it was anger. "Kuvira, this Asami, CEO of Future Industries and my girlfriend." So Korra hadn't proposed yet. "Asami, this is Kuvira…my advanced earthbending teacher…what titles are acceptable right now?"

"Prisoner."

"I'm gonna stick with sifu."

Kuvira and Asami shook hands, maintaining eye contact but not quite looking into each other's eyes.

There was a moment where neither of them spoke, and Kuvira wondered if she was supposed to just outright apologize.

"So, I thought this might go off to a rocky start, so since I'm the worst Pai Sho player in the world, maybe it'd be more interesting if you two played," Korra said.

Kuvira and Asami exchanged a glance and nodded.

They set up the Pai Sho board and began playing. Right away, Kuvira could tell that Asami knew how to play Pai Sho. Now, to figure out how much of a tactician she was, or if she was just a good Pai Sho player.

"How old are you?" Asami asked seemingly out of the blue.

At first, Kuvira wasn't sure if Asami was talking to her. "Twenty-five."

"You were really young when they sent you out."

Kuvira made her next move. "You were younger when you took over your father's company, weren't you? It seems age," she glanced at Korra, "doesn't hinder accomplishment."

"It just seems wild that they picked you to do something as huge as stabilizing the Earth Kingdom."

"They were desperate."

It was the first time she'd ever said it out loud. Somehow, it wasn't hurting to shave down her ego as much as it used to. She just couldn't be sure if the self pity was making that happen or a genuine maturation.

The game continued, and for every harmony Kuvira made, so would Asami. Yes, the CEO of Future Industries was very good.

"How long did you live with Su?" Asami asked.

For all Kuvira was learning about Asami's Pai Sho strategy, she couldn't understand why Asami was asking questions. "From age eight until sixteen. When I joined the guard, I lived with a few other female guards until eighteen, then I got my own apartment."

The game continued, harmony for harmony until Kuvira had two harmonies on her and the game was moments from closing.

"When did you start dancing?" Asami asked.

Kuvira almost couldn't come up with an answer. "Twelve…" Asami moved her next piece, securing the closest Pai Sho game Kuvira had ever played into Kuvira's favor. "And I'm lost. The small talk…"

Asami flew to her feet, hands clutched onto the edge of the table. "You're not a person to me. You never have been. All these years, the year after you killed my father…we never interacted once. I don't believe you'd even know who I am if not for Korra. Yet, you took my father from me. And don't tell me that it was anything more than another mosquito you had to squash on your way to conquest. You don't care about the people you killed, and nothing I say will change that. You're…You're the human embodiment of war, and I just—I don't want you to be that. I don't want to know that there are real people out there who take lives like they mean nothing. So yeah, I was trying to humanize you, but I," she sighed, "I can't."

Kuvira knew Korra would've known how to be compassionate and talk Asami down, make her feel better, but Kuvira was just as clueless about Asami as Asami was about her.

All Kuvira could think about was how she had been so devastated when she became an orphan, and had vowed to be a savior to orphans, yet she had turned this woman into an orphan. She didn't even know how many other orphans she had made through the campaign.

If there was any sign of her failure, it was this woman standing in front of her, nearly in tears.

The tears that slid down her own face felt natural.

"I'm sorry for taking your father in my madness," Kuvira said. "I won't forget your father's name. I may have been a murderer, but I'm not a war machine."

"I'm not going to forgive you."

"I don't expect you to. I'd expect it less than from Su or Baatar."

Korra put a hand on Asami's shoulder. "Asami…"

Asami looked away. "At least not yet."

Korra and Asami left with nearly no more words exchanged.

Kuvira didn't know why, but watching them leave, hand in hand, hurt almost as much as realizing what she'd done.

* * *

><p>Korra returned a week from their last training session, no flying mattresses or Asami.<p>

"Wanna perfect your seismic sense?" Kuvira asked.

"For the record, I'm still sorry about nearly breaking your face. And uh, I was thinking we could just talk today, at least for a little bit."

"About what?"

Korra sighed. "I know that Asami wasn't the only one hurting when I brought her in. I've talked to her, and she's feeling better, but I know I need to do the same for you. Especially you."

"What do you want to talk about? Asami's right. I was standing there thinking I was helping orphans, thinking I could justify what I did because of the pain I felt, yet I was creating orphans in the process. There's no more heinous a crime than that, and I don't even know the full extent of what bloodshed I caused." Kuvira exhaled. "I just…when I think about it, I don't remember feeling human piloting the Colossus. The way it was built, it made me feel like I was that giant mecha tank. It diminished everything—it turned you guys into ants, those hummingbirds into mosquitos. It wasn't like killing humans. I don't—after I thought I killed Baatar, it was my humanity was stripped away."

She paused. "I understand now, what I did. I think it took seeing what happened to Asami to see it. What I did to the Beifongs—it goes beyond Baatar coming with me. I split a family, pitted mother against son, brother against brother and sister. They didn't want that, they never needed it to go as far as it did. Not only did I capture and imprison Su, but I imprisoned her sons and husband. I nearly let Opal be hit by that spirit cannon. I nearly killed Su's eldest son. It's all so…it's so concrete. I did some horrible things, and I blinded myself to it. I'm an attempted and successful murderer. And seeing Asami, being forced to understand what I was that day, I don't know how to accept that. I hate knowing that people think it was personal for me, or that it still means nothing to me. I just wish," she felt a lump rise in her throat, "I wish I could delete it from existence, make it so it never happened. There's no way I can ever make it up to the people I hurt. It haunts me, knowing that, and it's only gotten worse since that visit from Asami."

Korra took Kuvira's hand. "Redemption and forgiveness aren't any less attainable than they were before you met with Asami. There's just a range of people you hurt and how they process that. Yes, there are people like Su who are so deep in the pain, maybe even in such denial and so comfortable with the hatred that they won't forgive you. But there are also people like Baatar and Asami, who are just too emotional right now, but can come around. And, then, there are people like Bolin and I, people who can work past our own inner demons to see that it isn't all about you, and that you deserve compassion as much as anyone." Korra turned Kuvira's hand over, the scar on her wrist visible. "You've come so far, and I know you can only get better from here. You just have to keep the faith." Korra squeezed Kuvira's hand. "Will you practice with me? I want to be better than Su."

Kuvira smiled. "That won't take much work." Kuvira got up. "I'll admit, that mattress move was kind of genius from a sneak attack standpoint. Who taught you?"

"Tenzin's kids. Ikki made me learn so I could teach her so she could torture Meelo when he acted like a dick to her. It's also supposedly an Aang specialty. Is that in your complete history?"

"They mentioned him having a playful nature, but it was never specific."

"Be happy I'm more Aang than Kyoshi."

As they practiced, Kuvira couldn't fully focus, her mind skipping back to watching Korra and Asami interact. They didn't seem as physical as Kuvira would've expected, but they'd also been dating for a while.

"Did you propose to Asami yet?" Kuvira asked.

Korra's eyes went to the floor, completely out of the form she'd taken while training. "Not yet."

They returned to training.

* * *

><p><em>The flowers were so much softer this time. They felt familiar, but they weren't, and all Kuvira could feel of them was the touch of a petal as it hit the skin exposed by a cut in her uniform. <em>

_Korra held her in her arms, and Kuvira opened her eyes to see Korra looking over her. Everything hurt, her head was fuzzy, her thoughts close to nonexistent. It was like a perfect security blanket, a perfect happy place that made everything else seem nonexistent. Her happy place used to be dancing in Su's troupe, but like a creature that sees the sun for the first time, this was a true happy place. How had she taken so long to go to the Spirit World?_

_Or be in the Avatar's arms. _

_She looked up at Korra, and Korra offered a light smile._

_"__We're okay," Korra said._

_Korra pushed a strand of hair out of Kuvira's face, they locked eyes, and it all came at once. Neither could tell who closed her eyes first and leaned in, but their lips met, warm, soft, stinging a bit from battle cuts. Their mouths met without a sound, all pressure and the smooth skin. It felt different. Spirits, it felt different, but Kuvira didn't even know why. All she knew was when mouths opened, she wanted nothing more than to be sucked away._

_I'm in love with you, K—_

Kuvira awoke with a start, a little sweaty, hand resting close to her leg instead of being tucked in, and so horribly lost that she wished she was in a nightmare.

_The guards drugged me tonight. There's no other—_

She pushed the covers off and ran into the bathroom. Turned on the sink, filled it with cold water, and dunked her face into it. The water shocked her awake, blurred the edges of the dream, but it was going to take a while before she could pretend it never existed.

_I'm not gay_, she thought as she picked up one of the histories off her table.

_I'm not gay_, she thought as she climbed back into bed and flipped open the book.

_I'm not gay, and I'm definitely not gay for Korra._

_It was just a dream._

_I'm not in love with the Avatar…_

She'd fall back asleep, and that dream, that night, would disappear into the abyss of forgotten memories. Solitary was just getting to her.

_I'm not in love_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Okay, so anyone who was having doubts, this is what I like to call a slow burning, totally Korrasami/Baavira respectful Korvira fic. Seriously, thank you to everyone who has supported this fic, whether it be through reading, reviewing (all you anons, I wish I could answer your reviews b/c trust me I would), favoriting, and following. Seriously, I'm trying really hard to make this as realistic and respectful to the canon (and half canon, since Baavira was but then it kinda stopped?) pairings because I do love Korrasami, but I also love Korvira, and this fic ain't about Korrasami. I feel like I should apologize to all the platonic people, but going this route just feels natural. Plus, like I said, this is slow burning, and we're not even close to them fully getting together. ;)

... Basically, Kuvira's going to be horrified for a while longer.

So, questions... Basic did you like it? Did you think Asami and Kuvira's interactions worked? Is Kuvira's development and her feelings for Korra, do they all seem realistic? Will you stick with this crazy Kuvira fan as she works her way towards Korvira?


	13. Raw & Possessed

The second time she woke, Kuvira didn't have any dreams. Rather, she woke up in a dreamlike state, unsure of what to make of the first dream, still so vivid in her mind. Something told her that it shouldn't be so vivid, especially considering how long it had been.

There had to be a logical explanation behind that dream. The guards drugging her wasn't sounding like the best explanation. But, it didn't mean she was developing romantic feelings for Korra. Dreams got weird, and considering her current situation—over a year in solitary confinement not having had romantic interactions since the night before she attacked Republic City—it would only make sense that she was hopelessly sex depraved. Really, it was no different than any other depravation, and she'd gotten herself used to having physical affection at least once a week, even in the icier period with Baatar after the annexation of Yi. Korra was the only other human being that she had close contact with, and her brain was starting to get mixed up. She was just really horny. It was just an off the wall wet dream. It was nothing new.

This time, the subject matter had just gotten a little out of control. It wasn't a big deal, and Kuvira shouldn't be treating it as such. She was straight, through and through. Sure, things had cooled down between her and Baatar in their last few months, but there was never a time when she wasn't attracted to him. It had always been men; wouldn't she have figured it out far before then if she were attracted to girls?

She was just mistaking her deep connection with Korra for romantic feelings. For all that Korra had done for her, maybe "I love you" was beginning to sound like the only words big enough to encompass how grateful she was. They weren't exclusively romantic words, and surely she meant them in a familial or friendship sort of way. Korra had been the first person to listen and understand, and now Kuvira was interpreting that far beyond what it needed to be interpreted as.

She liked men. All this was proving was that once she got out of prison, she'd be going out, getting drunk, and picking up the first decent man she could find.

…In twenty-nine years.

No way she was going to endure these messed up dreams for twenty-nine years. Forget that. It probably wouldn't take much effort to seduce that guard who would ask her how she was whenever he brought her food. Because there were no other options. She wasn't gay, or bisexual or whatever, and Korra was with Asami, even if she had seemed oddly down when Korra asked about the proposal. It was all completely ridiculous. All she needed now was Wu to come in with his singing badger moles and they could all have a sex circus.

The door opened, but it was too early for breakfast. It was the nice guard, Arnav, and Kuvira took extra time to check him out, as if it would cure that dream's messages.

"You have a visitor," Arnav said.

It wasn't Korra; they hadn't even spent one day apart yet.

Kuvira furrowed her brow. "Who?"

And, just like that, in walked Baatar.

He wore the robes he used to wear, back when everything in Zaofu was normal. But, he'd kept the haircut and glasses from the campaign. He didn't smile when he saw her, but his features were soft, his step tentative.

His expression faltered into the tiniest of smiles. "Even in prison, and you still look beautiful."

This couldn't be happening.

Kuvira scowled. "Wanna stop hoarding the furlough?"

He pulled up a chair to her bed. "Trust me, it wasn't easy to get here."

"And why are you here?"

He exhaled. "I should've never tried to end our relationship over a letter. I wanted to make it right."

Looking at Baatar, the emotions coursing through her were clear, and that morning, they weren't positive. This was too sudden to process, and all she could deal with was how angry she was that Baatar not only had gotten on house arrest, but that he had managed to get furlough. Where were guards watching them? They were the former Great Uniter and second-in-command. What if they were planning—

What if…

They were alone.

There weren't guards watching them, this was probably the last time Baatar would ever visit her…

This may be her last chance. The last chance to know for sure…

She bridged the gap Baatar had put between them, lips pressed back to his familiar face. Muscle memory flushed back, and Baatar kissed her back. He kissed her back, but he seemed less like a passioned lover and more like a host fighting a phantom possession, hot and cold as fast as it took their lips to touch and hover and touch again. She wrapped her arms around his neck, tried to keep him from squirming, but he couldn't stay down.

Finally, he managed to pull her away. "What're you doing?"

_I'm not gay_, she thought, wincing at how _awful _she was about to be. She got in close to him, lips just above his, her hands finding a spot on his torso. "When's the last time you were inside a woman?"

"Kuvira, this is…you've never expressed—"

She moved her hands down and under, a light touch on the planes of his chest and abs. "You came here to break up with me, right? Are you really going to deny us the breakup sex?"

Baatar suddenly looked alarmed, eyes all over the room. "We're—"

"Alone. No one's allowed to watch me anymore. And what're they going to do? Give us more time?"

"Kuvira…"

She kissed the spot on his throat he loved. "Let it go, just for a moment."

He exhaled. "I don't know what they've been putting in your water, but I can't say it's without benefits."

Mouths molded together again, hands traveled down, and they stumbled back onto Kuvira's twin bed, sheets covering them, as if they could see past the blinding physical desire to properly remove their clothing. Kuvira tried to sit back and enjoy herself, enjoy this blink of sunlight in her lightbulb world, but it was…different. She could understand Baatar's lack of stamina, his tentativeness, and his verbally expressed fear over getting her pregnant in prison, but it wasn't as…livening as she could even remember from the post-Yi days.

It released tension she hadn't even realized she'd been building up, sure. She scratched up his back, muffled moans with his skin, everything they used to do. But it felt empty, somehow.

It had been passionless.

It had been passionless, and when they first made eye contact as they separated, it reflected from her eyes to his.

"What were you going to say?" she asked as she fixed her hair.

"That, despite," he sighed, "feelings still between us, that you—we deserve better than us."

"You said that in your letters."

"I poured whatever emotion was spewing out of me into those letters. I regretted each one after putting it in the mailbox. I needed to just say it, and give you the respect you deserve and say it to your face."

She looked him up and down; he'd lost some of the muscle tone she'd gotten him while on the campaign, although to his credit, he'd kept more than she would've expected for a Beifong on house arrest. Now that she looked close enough, he had technically kept the haircut she liked, but the hair on the sides of his head was growing back in. She didn't even have to ask to know he was morphing back into Mommy's boy, as if he could slowly erase the three years they'd spent together.

And part of her didn't blame him. Part of her didn't mind.

Part of her was happy to see him move on, and that was the terrifying part.

"You don't need to say it; I know you can't forgive me for what I did to you."

"That's not even it, though. I _can _forgive you. I _want _to forgive you. But, I just think about what kind of life we'd have together if we did get married, and how can I lie and say it'd be a happy ending? Couples can hardly survive when one of the members cheat. You were willing to _kill me_ for the Earth Empire. Even if I work through all my problems, convince myself that I can trust you, I can't banish the doubt that you'll sacrifice me again. Just as you can never truly shrug off the blood you shed to unite the empire, I can't shed what happened between us. I've realized that it's not cynical, it's fact. We did monstrous things, and to think we can leave those behind is just unreal. And if I harbor that resentment, what would that mean for our marriage, for our children? There's still a shred of love for you in me, and I can't destroy your dream of being the perfect mother because I'm not the perfect father and husband." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "This sounds so awful."

"It doesn't, Baatar. You sound like you care."

He reached his hand out, took hers, but the hold was so light. The sparks that used to fly, the way her heartbeat used to pick up…it was just gone. His words were resonating with her, she still cared deeply for the man in front of her, but there wasn't love there anymore.

"You didn't trust me with so much," Baatar said, his voice softening. "Korra came to me and talked about what you two discussed in the Spirit World, about how you felt after your parents left you. I thought I understood you more than anyone, and hearing that from Korra was like a punch in the gut. It made me wonder if love could really exist if there was so little trust between us. I'm sorry I couldn't be that person for you."

"Baatar, it's not your fault. I treated you like dirt after the annexation of Yi, and you deserve better."

"I'm never going to find someone like you. Someone who will believe in me the way you did."

"But you will find love. You've suffered enough for at least that."

They unhooked their hands and gazed into each other's eyes.

"I left the ring with the guards. They said they'd keep it with your personal effects for when you're released."

"Go sell it and give the money to an orphanage."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

He kissed her cheek, and got to his feet. "I probably won't see you until we're released." He offered a weak smile. "Mother's caving. Don't be surprised if she contacts you."

They hugged, long and tender, but cold.

As she watched him go, something told her that it'd be the last time she ever saw him. It felt heavier than that, though, like him leaving also meant she'd lost Zaofu and the twenty-one years she dedicated to the city. This was real; she'd really just broken off her engagement and he'd be returning to her hometown while she never would. When she got out of prison, she'd have to find a new home, new loved ones.

A new home, at least.

Well, at least she could go about the day knowing she wasn't repulsed by males; the dream was fading away.

She hoped.

#

"I'll be honest," Korra said as she held a pen off the ground with air bending. They'd finished training for that day, and found themselves lounging around the cell, "I may bust you out of prison early just so I can learn those advanced metalbending moves. Seismic sense is awesome and all, and I may have finally found someone besides Mako to teach me real lightning bending, but I'm dying to be a metalbending master."

"Yeah, and I'd love to wield the power of lightening. Count your blessings."

"Fire might be great in battle, but when it comes to other practical usage, it's definitely below water and earth."

"And air?"

"Air is good for flying, fighting, and not much else. I mean, benders like you and Amon gained grace and quickness on your feet from means other than airbender training. All I'm saying is that you don't want to trade elements."

"Never said I wanted to. It'd just be useful to have lightening bending."

"Although, in a fight between you and, say, Princess Azula as she descends into madness, I think you'd win. Those metal strips you worked with are so fast, and it takes time to produce lightening for an execution shot."

"Are benders nowadays even strong enough to kill with lightening? Don't they teach factory workers to wield it for power plants? Laughable compared to what the Royal Family once did."

"Sometimes, I think about what it must've been like to be in a world so divided by element. I mean, even with your Earth Empire, you still allowed water and fire benders into your army."

All those stupid decisions, the ones that made zero sense even months after their execution, returned. All that so-called elemental cleansing. Part of her wasn't even sure if it was her idea, or to what extent it became a part of operations. Had she really only allowed earthbenders into her army and taken away the rights of non-earthbenders even if they were Earth Empire citizens? That wasn't possible. Even in her power-drunk state, that wouldn't have made sense. It had to have been a coincidence that mostly fire and water benders had been sent to re-education camps. Perhaps they were newer to living in Earth Kingdom land, and didn't understand the need for order the way the longer standing Earth Kingdom citizens did—

"My bender diversity was scarce. Don't push it."

"But, anyway, I just like to think that all you guys—Amon, Unalaq, Zaheer, you—would've fought against the Fire Lord. Like, given a threat bigger than your own goals, you would've stayed on the righteous path." She paused. "Maybe not Unalaq…No, I think he would've defended the North Pole."

"Well, if Fire Lord Izumi decides to invade the United Republic and take it under another hostile Fire Nation takeover, you'll have to call Zaheer and I into action. And Amon, assuming he's alive, whatever little chance that is."

Korra laughed. "I really ought to try to find Amon and Tarrlok one day. He's…technically one of the most powerful benders on the planet." She switched positions, now maddeningly closer to Kuvira. "But yeah, I can see you springing into action."

"Y'know, if you'd asked, I would've followed you into battle far before the Red Lotus and Laghima's Peak."

No, she had to stop. She was close enough to Korra that a few position changes could put them inches from one another, and she was practically admitting devotion.

"Really? That…means a lot." Korra paused. "I kinda wish Su had introduced you to me when I first saw your dance recital or the first time we saw you while on duty. I would've invited you to join Team Avatar." Korra smiled. "I could've used a traveling metal bending teacher."

Kuvira smiled. "Su would've killed you."

Korra's smile turned to a mischievous smirk. "I don't play the card too often, but there would've been the fact that I'm the _Avatar_."

"Whatever you say."

Korra crossed her arms. "I mean, I could probably grab you and have sex with you in that bed right there and no one would say a word."

There was a long time in which Kuvira basked in how red that comment made her, and how horribly enticing, confusing, awful that sounded. It felt like Korra was teasing her, but if she felt that way, didn't that mean she wanted it to be real? This was agony. This was—

This wasn't referring to her and Korra.

"Who told you?" Kuvira asked, words coming out as slow as she was thinking them.

"That would be Arnav. Before you plan on killing him, he only told me because I made him. He was blushing when I mentioned your name."

Kuvira considered asking if Arnav had been watching, but she was paralyzed in humiliation at that point. It had been such a sloppy, desire-driven moment; she couldn't even lie and say they'd made beautiful love one last time. She cringed thinking how he'd describe it to other people, even if she knew he never would.

"Do you blame me?" Kuvira said as she rubbed her eye.

Korra laughed. "No, I really don't. I mean, like I said, I just see you and Baatar Jr. as a cold entity, so that's all I got. I mean, I just wanna hear that you're happy because of whatever happened. Lin was telling me how he begged, practically protested just to get the opportunity to talk to you in person. I think it's fair to assume you were nice to him."

It would take Kuvira a long time to realize it, but she needed Korra treating the whole thing as a joke more than she would've believed otherwise.

"It wasn't my best moment, and I hope I didn't hurt him. I know I shocked him, but I really do want him to be happy. I don't know. Is it bad that I was okay when we left each other? I hate to think I didn't love him the way he loved me."

Korra shrugged. "It's hard when you get together with people when they're emotionally fragile. It makes you seem more like a protector or therapist than a significant other. As much as Asami doesn't want to admit it, I'm a huge comfort to her, and I'm sure Baatar viewed you as his savior in some regards. And, honestly, I know you have a million times more romantic experience than me," Kuvira gave her a look, "but I don't think you should feel guilty if you fall out of love first. It's not like you were trying to hurt him." She paused. "Did you two talk at all? I feel like he got out of prison to talk, not get one last screw."

Spirits, _screw _was such an ugly word in that moment. "He just told me that his ultimate decision to end our engagement was because he didn't want to give me a marriage and family in which he could potentially harbor resentment and distrust of me because of what happened in Republic City. Honestly, I don't think he could've put it in kinder terms."

Korra smiled. "I'm glad he was good to you. You've been knocked around quite a bit lately; you deserve a break."

"Come on, Korra. I don't think I deserve much of a break. Not after only a year. I literally caused more than a year's worth of suffering."

"If you start throwing yourself a pity party, I'll give you a reason to throw yourself a pity party, Sifu Kuvira."

"So you're the reason my last few moments with Su and Lin were spent dry heaving, much to the agony of my already broken ribs?"

Korra laughed. "I think I'll shift the blame onto Su and Beifong for that one. Although now you've got me wondering what exactly they did to you after they walked you off."

Kuvira got into lotus position and looked away. "It was pathetic."

Korra unrolled from the ball she'd gotten into, her body facing Kuvira, head less than a foot from her lap. "You know I like stories."

_Kuvira didn't think this kind of pain could exist in the physical world, or any world, rather. It was like leaving Korra's embrace had ripped a limb out of its socket, leaving her misshapen, overwhelmed, and in inhuman pain. She had to be strong when she surrendered, and had vouched to walk. Right away, though, it was clear that she couldn't walk without a fire of pain engulfing her abdomen, and leaving Korra, leaving the only person who understood how hurt she was, was half the battle. Lin put a hand on Kuvira's arm, but she was still supporting her own weight, hands forced at her front. _

_They walked. Spirits above, they walked a long way, all the way to Raiko's base of operations at Air Temple Island. It took a while, maybe halfway through the walk to the harbor, but Lin picked up on Kuvira's agony, and tried to slow down the pace, but Su was oblivious, glaring back at Kuvira when her pace lagged. _

_"__Hurry up," Su would bark._

_"__She's injured, Su. Unless you're giving me permission to hoist her over my shoulder, this is how fast we're going."_

_They put her on a small motor boat, something that probably belonged to the Air Acolytes. _

_It really took that first jolt of the boat to realize the extent of her injuries. The pain was unrelenting, unfamiliar, sickening even. She nearly toppled over without her arms for support and her mind too focused on the pain to shift her weight properly. She stopped herself by a firm placement of her foot, but it took a few seconds gritting her teeth through the pain to return to sitting up properly._

_"__What hurts?" Lin asked._

_Su drove the boat, and didn't so much as flinch from the question._

_Kuvira struggled to find words. "It's nothing. Right side. Ribs, probably."_

_"__Underestimating will get you nowhere."_

_Lin helped her off the boat, and it seemed like each new terrain they faced—the steps to get off the boat, the hike to the main buildings—was a new level of pain, somehow worse than the one before. By the time she reached the top, she felt faint, but there was no way she could collapse now. _

_Raiko and his bodyguards eyed her as they entered his base of operations. Lin dropped her off onto a couch and set a pillow in her lap. She didn't know what to do, but left it where Lin put it._

_"__She's all that's left, or are her soldiers still here?" Raiko asked._

_She hadn't thought about her soldiers in what felt like years. Those bright eyed young men and women, so loyal, such hard fighters, such big hearts… Spirits, she didn't even know what happened to them after the Colossus blew up. She'd been far away from the blast, relatively speaking, and she probably had a couple ribs sticking in her lungs, so how had they faired? Masaru, the pilot working with her in the Colossus, had been with her since he was eighteen, one of her original Zaofu guards who had stuck with her…_

_"__An airship is on the way to escort her to prison…Should be here momentarily…" Raiko said, although Kuvira didn't catch every word._

_Masaru was dead, his body probably still smoldering in the rubble, along with the other engineers on the Colossus. If no one recovered them, the spirits would pick them apart. _

_Just like Baatar… Just like her sweet Baatar, who she could only spend her life hoping had died happy, life gone before he realized the heinous, heinous crime she committed against him._

_"__We'll take her," Lin said._

_Lin pulled Kuvira back to her feet, igniting the pain again. She tried it ignore it, but the way Lin had gotten her to her feet had added a wave of dizziness into the mix. They walked forward, giving her no time to recover. Each step she took, a new patch of black dotted her vision. _

_Lin stopped suddenly as the airship came into view. Her whole body lurched forward, but she could only feel it in her stomach. _

_Baatar was dead, Masaru, her engineers, her soldiers, her people, all for nothing. _

_She looked up and saw Su's face, the face of the mother of the man she'd killed for a tainted dream that had just been squashed like a bug._

_And now all Kuvira would be would be a murderess._

_Despite every stab of pain in her side, she leaned forward and threw up. She hadn't eaten since entering the Colossus, so little more than water and bile escaped her lips. Unable to move her hands, her vomit splashed mostly onto her gloves. Sprinkles made it to hers and Su's shoes. Tears slid down her face in thick streams as her body tried to expel the poison only her mind could truly drive out. And spirits, her ribs were beyond the point where she could say the pain burned. It was like being destroyed from the inside out; she could imagine cracks growing deeper, bone burrowing into flesh. _

_"__Lin, what the hell's wrong with her?" Su said._

_"How should I know? I haven't been with her the whole time and it's not like s__he's my _kid_!"_

_Kuvira sucked in a desperate lungful of air between heaves, and it only shot a new avalanche of pain through her ribs. Through the tears, though, she saw Su's face. No one had ever looked as disgusted, as hateful as Suyin Beifong in that moment. "She's not mine either."_

_The heaving and retching formed into sobs, lip trembling, teeth chattering weeping that she couldn't hold back anymore. It was as if all those years of mind over matter had taken its toll, and all that was left was her body failing her in every way possible. She told herself the tears were from the pain in her ribs, which was enough for tears from even the toughest of soldiers, but she knew the truth._

_Two White Lotus guards came to collect her. One guard didn't acknowledge her beyond a disgusted face at her appearance, but the other seemed less so._

_"__You've taken quite a beating today, Great Uniter," she said._

_There wasn't any sarcasm in the comment, but just hearing the words Great Uniter almost made her vomit again._

_The only reason she managed to wipe away the tears with the shedding of her uniform was a guard coming in and informing her that there had been no casualties within Kuvira's army, that everyone had been captured safe and sound._

The eager expression Korra had adopted when the story began had since become somber.

"Did Su really say that, even after seeing you so vulnerable?" Korra asked, barely above a whisper.

"It's water under the bridge. She was hurt that day. Baatar seemed hopeful that Su would talk to me one day."

Korra sighed. "I can work with you all I want, but you're never going to fully forgive yourself without talking to Su, are you?"

"I don't know."

In retrospect, that story was humiliating, and part of her couldn't believe that she had told Korra. The other part, the stronger part, incidentally, was happy she had. Baatar had been right; she hadn't been willing to open up to him, but it was so easy to do so with Korra. A blink of unease settled in her gut as she considered the idea that Korra did this for everyone

(_that after she talked to Asami, how she'd kiss her for comfort_)

and that she was just another victim for the Avatar to help.

"Do you do this for everyone?" Kuvira asked.

"Do what?"

Korra had gone to sitting up by this point, still close, looking at Kuvira head on. Not too close, though.

"Listen to people, give advice and support?"

"I mean, I guess I do. But, well…at the same time, I don't think I do."

"You must for Asami."

It came out with more venom than she could bear to accept.

Korra didn't notice.

"I did earlier on, but lately, it's been less. I guess it's natural considering she's feeling better." She paused. "I hate to say I'm going to miss being needed." Korra smiled, and took Kuvira's hand. "I'll always have you, though. You're always upset about something."

_Do you love Asami?_

She could feel the question itching at the back of her throat like vomit, and willed herself to take control, if for long enough to finish this session with Korra.

_I had sex with Baatar, and enjoyed it. We grew apart. It doesn't mean one love has been replaced with another._

"I'm not always upset," Kuvira countered.

_Even if I do trust her more than I have anyone._

"Be real, Sifu. You'll be upset until Su admits she did something wrong."

_It doesn't mean anything…_

"What am I supposed to do if Su never comes around?"

_Then why do I care about her and Asami?_

"I can help you find other ways to forgive yourself through others' forgiveness. That's what this is about, I'm betting, deep down. We could meditate together next visit, and I'm sure, with some practice, we could reach the Spirit World. It's a start."

_Why else would that sound like heaven?_

"Sounds nice."

Korra smiled. "The Spirit World is great. I've made so many new spirit friends since the new portal."

_Why would I love having her so close?_

"Training for each of us, I suppose."

It was why she hadn't felt the spark with Baatar. It was why she was so okay with ending her engagement. It was why she let Korra touch her, visit her, talk to her, listen to her, care for her…

"Yup. Hey, I have a meeting with Tenzin and the other world leaders over the Earth Kingdom elections, so I have to go. I'll see you next week."

Korra offered her one last smile and squeeze of Kuvira's hand, and Kuvira couldn't take her eyes off the Avatar. It was as if it were beyond her control, like magnets, like a force beyond herself.

It was so ridiculous. Korra had been doing that nearly since the moment they left the Spirit World. It was no different. Nothing had changed.

Nothing had changed, except for the fact that Kuvira was undeniably obsessed with Korra.

(_not in love with_)

Not…not really, anyway.

Not completely.

Not…Not sure.

Not sure how ridiculous it _really_ was.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Okay, whew, that chapter was, erm, long. Sorry about that if you're reading this late at night and it hurts your eyes. In response to the barrage of reviews, I'm so happy to see so many of you guys happy to see Korvira, and I hope I can do it justice. :) And, if you're unhappy about the Korvira but still reading this story, I thank you too, for giving me a chance. If you've stopped reading, well, uh, I guess you won't see this so...

Hope everyone enjoyed, and that I gave Baavira a proper, albeit kind of sad, goodbye.

In another vein completely, I know most, if not all of you, love fan fiction, and at least consider it somewhere between a hobby and a way of life. I'm writing an article for my college newspaper in defense of fan fiction, talking about the benefits of reading/writing it. So, if you have a moment to type something out, I'd really appreciate a comment from y'all about what you've gained as a reader/writer/person since you began reading/writing fan fiction. Seriously appreciated!

Love you all, and hopefully I can update by the end of MLK weekend. :)


	14. Primal Feelings

Kuvira had been awake for a while when the breakfast tray and newspaper slid through the slit in the bottom of her cell's door.

"Arnav?" Kuvira said as she pulled the tray in, slit still open.

The slit shut, and the door opened, revealing the young guard. He reminded her of Hong Li, one of the sweetest guards she'd had on her force before leaving Zaofu. Just a little. She had never gotten him to admit it, but she knew he was the guard who was always on duty while she showered. Not so innocent after all.

"What's up?" Arnav asked.

"Thanks for keeping quiet about Baatar and I."

If he seemed like he had blackmail in his head, she'll quell it right then. Arnav smiled. "No problem."

Kuvira creased her brow, his tone far too casual for what they were talking about. "Why didn't you intervene or tell your superiors?"

Arnav's eyes went to the floor. "I uh, I panicked while it was going on. Afterwards," he cleared his throat, "I don't know, I didn't really see what it'd accomplish. It'd risk them taking away your visitation rights, and that seemed cruel, especially considering how much you love Avatar Korra—"

"I don't love Korra," she said automatically.

Arnav smiled. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that. I've been on shift for at least half of your visits since you got here, and it's pretty obvious. I think she likes you too. Anyway, I didn't want you to lose that. I mean, at the very least, by the time you figured out that I was the narc, you'd find some way to kill me. But, like I said, it was mostly because it felt like cruel and unusual punishment."

Kuvira still wasn't convinced the whole "love" thing was real, but it did feel weird to hear Arnav, as ill-informed as he was, say that Korra liked her back. And, if Kuvira were honest, if Korra wasn't dating Asami, she might've believed that Korra did have a crush on her. After all, why else would Korra come week after week for as long as she had? In a way, it was hard to believe that their relationship was platonic, but Kuvira was also growing increasingly convinced that she was losing her mind in solitary.

She eyed Arnav, the thought of seducing him crossed her mind, but it was out as soon as the thought manifested. It was bad enough that she'd convinced Baatar to have sex with her, and all this was just masking the fact that she craved Korra's company. Was there still a chance that it was human contact in general? Yes, but there were also no other humans who wanted to visit her, or that she wanted to visit her. The answer to that would always be Su.

She considered asking Korra if any of the airbenders wanted to stop by, but really, there was no way to ask that without sounding desperate.

"You're a hero," Kuvira finally said. "I just wanted to say that. You can go back to work."

He took a step towards the door. "For the record, I always believed in your cause. I could never pass health tests to get into the Earth Empire army, and I'm ecstatic to finally serve you, Great Uniter."

His words sent a chill through her bones, like she was coming down with the flu.

"I'm not the Great Uniter," she replied. "I'm a war criminal serving my time. Don't get any ideas."

"It's only gotten worse since you were thrown in here. You're almost lucky to be in here, where order is part of the business. People are beginning to realize that Prince Wu hasn't accepted his leadership position and that there's still a vacuum of power. The only difference between now and after the Earth Queen died is that there's a royal figure who can stand in front of microphones and lie."

"I'm sorry you're dissatisfied with the current state of things," as was she, "but I refuse to take back a position of power. It's dangerous. If Prince Wu or any of the other world leaders want my help, I'll give it, but otherwise, I'm here. I appreciate your support during my campaign, but it didn't work out, and we both need to move on."

His expression suddenly got somber. "You can't just give up."

"I haven't. If I ever want to begin to help my nation, I have to find balance. Until then, this conversation never happened. Especially considering where we are, hearing anyone working close to me is a former Earth Empire supporter, you could end up in a cell next to me."

With that, Arnav left, and Kuvira sure didn't feel as weightless as she had hoped thanking the young guard would make her.

* * *

><p>She focused that week on conditioning and dancing, the ability to work for and admire the muscle she'd built up one of the few non-human-interaction actions keeping her sane. She liked having a personal accomplishment to be proud of, especially in this endless sea of guilt and self-hate. Of course, there was no one to admire her, but she often found herself exercising in just a bra and pants so she could watch the muscles ripple and harden as she worked. Especially since no one watched her anymore, it didn't feel invasive.<p>

On core day, Kuvira found herself treated with a visitor.

For a moment, she and Lin held eye contact, Kuvira instantly convinced she wasn't going to blush because her distant Su-adopted aunt found her nearly half naked.

"I feel like this is just something dancers generally do," Lin commented as she closed the door behind her.

Kuvira sat up and shrugged. "If you gave me a lighter weight shirt, maybe we'd have a different story."

Lin took a seat. "Walk around in your underwear all day for all I care. You're in solitary; it's not like you'd be disturbing the other inmates."

"Going soft, Chief?" Kuvira said as she pulled her shirt back on.

"They're not my rules. This prison has its own fool running operations from behind the scenes. I was just assigned to act as liaison between the prison and Earth Kingdom and United Republic officials."

"So what's brought you here today?"

"Before we get to that—everything good here? No more suicidal thoughts, manic episodes, anything like that?"

_You mean besides me being half-convinced that I may be attracted to girls?_

"No. The worst it gets is when I have to think about how boring it is here."

"Prison isn't meant to be enjoyable, kid."

Kuvira felt a smile twitching in her lips, but kept a straight face. It was so close to the Beifong love she had always craved as a kid, hearing Lin call her "kid."

Kuvira crossed her arms. "Must've missed the memo." She looked back to Lin, who wasn't making any jumps to fill the silence. "By the way, thanks for not," she paused, "treating me like shit after I was captured."

Lin smiled. Like, genuinely smiled, even if there was some cocky, amused edge to it. "Aside from keeping each other alive, Su and I will remain on polar opposite stances about nearly everything. She was letting her emotions get the better of her that day. I would've done it for anyone." Typical; taking the personal angle out of the situation. "Even vaguely adoptive nieces turned dictators."

In the few weeks that Lin had stuck around Zaofu before Kuvira left, she and Lin had seen each other a few times, and Lin had formally introduced herself. They'd talked pretty casually, exchanging stories and tips regarding law enforcement/protection, and Kuvira had mentioned how Su had taken her in as a child. Lin had expressed skepticism over Su's parenting methods, including her having not introduced her to Kuvira at all (even on their mission to save the airbenders), but Kuvira had figured there was still some generally sisterly disapproval that came from being rivals as growing up. Knowing that Lin still thought Su had been a bad parent was incredible.

"I can't fathom why you'd accept me as distant family when you only knew me in adulthood; at least Su has to remember a child when she says I'm not family."

Lin shifted in her seat. "Now that I've had some time to look over the entire Earth Empire situation, the problem wasn't solely you; the world leaders should've stepped in years before, kept a closer eye on you. It's like giving a child who desperately needs guidance a few pieces of wood, some nails, and a hammer and telling him to go build a house. You had no political or military training, and were lucky that you adapted your methods to work with the Earth Kingdom's landscape. I blame the world leaders up until you started building that weapon. After that, you were asking for your own demise. Long story short, I don't think you're a psychotic tyrant, unlike some people I work with."

"I'm not sure how to respond to the backhanded compliment."

"Thank you will do."

"Thank you." Kuvira paused. "In all honesty, how many times did you consider throwing me onto your back and swinging to Air Temple Island?"

"Five. Su didn't help. If you weren't injured, I would've full force thrown you into her within the first few minutes. You would've deserved it, and it would've gotten her to shut up."

Kuvira chuckled. "I would've taken that over the eight broken ribs any day."

"The universe gave you quite the beating that day. Might as well be one of the reasons I don't hate you now."

"You don't…hate Su, do you?"

Lin gave her a look. "Of course not. I don't approve of her parenting methods and how much of a hypocrite she is for getting Baatar Jr. on house arrest but doing nothing for you, but I still love her. There're always going to be parts of your loved ones that you can't stand, but it doesn't mean you abandon them all together."

That one hurt more than Kuvira expected, especially when she went with the vein of thought that Korra was the closest thing to a loved one, and she was just an Avatar being over-generous with her time with her former foe.

"Don't look at me with the sad orphan face. Raiko's office is ready to burst at the seams with the confiscated letters from your supporters and insane fans and Su's coming to visit you next week."

For a stretched moment, Kuvira only heard the first part, and nearly shot back that her supporters weren't her family, but then she heard the bit about Su.

Even if on the inside Kuvira's mind was exploding with joy, all she felt externally was shortness of breath and chills.

"Are you going to be sick again?" Lin said in complete deadpan.

"Why is Su coming to visit me?"

"She wants to talk. Didn't give me any more information than that."

Did it have something to do with Baatar's visit? But, if it was Su coming to yell at her for having seduced her son one last time, why bother showing up? An angry letter could accomplish that, and surely Baatar mentioned the breaking off engagement part, not the sex part. Su—no, it wasn't because of Baatar. So what else did that leave? Sure, she'd sent Su a couple rage and pain filled letters over the past year or so, but Su hadn't made any effort to contact her. Why now?

Lin wasn't just pulling her chain, was she?

No, Lin didn't do that.

"Oh," she said.

Lin got up. "That's all I had to say. Go back to exercising; your sensitivity is showing."

Lin got her one last smile out of Kuvira, and she went back to exercising.

If only it'd solve all her problems.

* * *

><p>"…And of course it's stupid, but I just—I can't imagine anything good coming from this," Kuvira said during her next meeting with Korra.<p>

"Okay, I'm still back at the part where you haven't eaten or slept since Lin told you this," Korra interjected.

It had technically only been a day and a half, so Kuvira hadn't found those details to be problems quite yet.

"That's not the point, Korra."

"Of course it's the point! Didn't this exact thing happen when you refused to read that letter from Baatar? And didn't that turn out fine?"

"That's when he broke up with me out of logic."

"Yeah, and didn't he just officially end your engagement out of logic and you were _fine with it_?"

"It's different with Su. Baatar at least had clouded his hatred with his love and nearly three years of associating pre, during, and post-sexual satisfaction and intimacy with me, and it still took him a year to say what he wanted to say without the hatred slanting it. All I have with Su are eight years living with her and another five serving her. If she can't see me as anything more than a protege, she'll never be able to separate the Great Uniter from me."

"And what does it hurt to hear what she has to say?"

Kuvira's stomach knotted, and she seriously considered not telling Korra. But, spirits, she'd already told Korra so much and maybe a crazy part of her thought that Korra liked being confined in as much as Kuvira liked confining in her.

"I'm scared of what will happen if she rejects me again," Kuvira said, barely above a whisper. Korra leaned in. "I'll admit that the time I cut myself, I wasn't _really _suicidal, but the longer I've been in here, the more I think it may have been an unconscious reason that I did what I did. And, well, truth is, I have felt suicidal through this whole prison sentence. It was after the mess with Su and Lin, I had barely managed to walk with the guards into the cage, and there was a moment while we were on the bridge that led to the cell, and I considered jumping. That was one of the worst feelings of my life, and I feel like every interaction I've had with Su since my surrender has been just as bad. I just…I don't want to feel that way anymore."

"And you fear that encountering Su again will bring it back. Confirm that for as far as you've come, you're not balanced yet."

There really was something incredible about how Korra had become so synched with Kuvira's feelings and thoughts. It was the type of thing Kuvira didn't think was actually possible, something that seemed to be beyond even what married couples could do. She'd certainly never had it with Baatar; she could read him very well, but he could never do the same.

"Well, here's my best advice: listen to what Su has to say, and if she continues to be horrible to you, I'll be here for you. I can't control Su, but you don't have to be helpless as you try to mend things with her." Korra paused. "If you want, I can try to be here and come check up on you afterwards."

Kuvira crossed her arms. "I'm sure you have something better to be doing."

Korra put a hand on Kuvira's shoulder. "I don't, and I know how important this is to you. I promised you that I'd be here for you, and I will."

The knot began to loosen inside her. "I'd like that."

Korra smiled and patted Kuvira's hand. In the process of looking up to make eye contact with Korra, Kuvira got a glance of Korra's chest and the muscle exposed by her short sleeves. It would've been embarrassment in the making, but Kuvira also realized that Korra seemed to be doing the same thing to her.

"This is going to sound weird for a few minutes, but could you roll up your shirt? I need to check something…" Korra said. Kuvira did as told with the only questioning being a furrowed brow. Korra looked her bare midriff and nodded. "Sorry, I just went on a weekend trip to Ember Island with Asami, Mako, and Bolin, and Bolin spent the entire trip convinced that I was inhuman for having a six pack because I'm a girl. I figured with how much you exercise and being a dancer and all that you'd be able to fuel my argument."

"Yeah…"

She rolled down her shirt, thoughts off to questioning why on earth Korra would go to Ember Island, one of the most romantic spots in the world, with Mako and Bolin as well as Asami.

"Did you have a nice time?" Kuvira asked as she scooted back into a friendly distance with Korra.

"Yeah, it was fun. We did a lot of stuff together, and I was happy to have more time with Mako and Bolin." She paused. "Just because I practically live with Asami and you know…"

"Of course."

Seemed like the first step to one of them wanting more space, but Kuvira shouldn't go into it. It was none of her business, even if Korra had wedged her way into Kuvira's personal life.

"Oh, by the way, I'm not taking your starvation crap," Korra said.

Kuvira watched as Korra picked the bowl of since cooled noodles and used airbending to propel it over to Kuvira. She caught the bowl, but the force also managed to knock half the noodles and all of the broth onto Kuvira. It had been ramen, not just noodles. There was nothing to do but give Korra an unamused frown and push the noodles back into the bowl. Korra wasn't blushing, but the clenched jaw and wide eyes said enough.

"Was that scalding?" Korra asked.

Kuvira's best response was to flick some of the broth onto Korra.

* * *

><p>Su walked into Kuvira's cell four days later, as she danced. Even facing away from the door, Kuvira could tell it was Su that walked in, having perfected her seismic sense enough to recognize certain presences. With such, she could feel Su's breath hitch if just for a moment.<p>

Kuvira stopped dancing, took a deep breath, and turned around. She couldn't be sure what she expected to see, but Su looked the exact same she had as Kuvira reached adulthood. She held a stack of letters in one hand, and didn't have hatred screwed into her features.

"I have to admit, I didn't expect to see you like this," Su said. "Especially not after hearing Lin's reports; she seems to have a new attempted suicide report every month."

"If you're here to investigate my health and brush me off, please leave now."

Su took a seat. "I'm not." She set the letters onto the table. "Come sit."

Kuvira took the seat opposite Su and resisted resting her eyes onto the letters. She knew they weren't hers; she'd only written Su twice, and that pile contained at least six letters.

"I know you don't like fluff, so I'll just get down to it," Su said. "This is not an invitation back to Zaofu, and I still don't know to what extent I'll ever be able to forgive you. So long as I still see the Great Uniter in you, I don't think I ever will be able to forgive you. Your betrayal has shaken me, and I don't know how strong I am, if I can get past that. After I had Baatar Jr. back, I tried my hardest to never forgive you for what you did, but I've slowly come to realize that in not forgiving you, I would never have to acknowledge the part I played in what happened to you. And no, I'm not talking about you leaving Zaofu. I'm talking about," she sighed, "I'm talking about what led you to believe that stabilizing the Earth Kingdom was a direct response to your own abandonment.

"When I took you in, I never intended for it to be permanent. I thought we'd be able to find your parents, and when we learned that they'd disappeared, Baatar and I sat down and talked over all our options, including having another family in Zaofu adopt you, but something came over me. Call it selfish, and I won't disagree, but I think I kept you because I wanted to perpetuate this idea that I took in wounded birds, that I was doing good with my life, making up for everything I'd done as a teenager. I thought I could turn your life around, give you a home, let your natural bending talents take you to new heights. At first, it was so easy to treat you like one of my own; you needed me, just like any kid. You never caused problems, and let me become a better version of myself. I saw you, and I thought you were happy. I was…so oblivious that I thought you weren't affected by your abandonment. I thought that you saw me as a mentor, not as a mother, and that I was safe to do the same."

"How could you think a child would view the woman housing, feeding, clothing, and nurturing her as anything other than a mother?"

"Of course I didn't think that when you were a child, but when you got older, when you moved out so young to join the guard—"

"I joined the guard so early because you were already shutting me out of the family. Don't try to tell me that you began to see me as a protege after I moved out."

Su exhaled. "As you grew older, I saw your independence and bending prowess as a sign that you didn't need a mother anymore, and I began to focus my energy on your training rather than nurture. It was my first major mistake with you."

"It started earlier than that," Kuvira said. "I still remember the days it was at its worst. When Toph came, and you didn't invite me to join in dinner or training with her, and she had to find me and decided to train me herself. When you didn't include me in family portraits, when you didn't introduce me to visitors, when you'd celebrate every one of your children's littlest accomplishments, but when I became a metalbending master, all I got was a pat on the shoulder. I was fifteen, and that was all I got for something even _Toph _said was impressive. I was surprised that I didn't try to run away, beg for your attention through more dangerous methods. How could you have not been aware of that the whole time?"

"I was far from the perfect mother, and you have to understand that I am listening to you. I'm sorry that I didn't try years before this. When you left Zaofu and became that monster, it was so easy to pretend you had never been a part of my life, and when you tried to apologize to me…It was like we weren't even in reality that day. The giant mecha tank, you shooting Baatar Jr., using that metal monster to kill people, opening up the Spirit Portal—I was far from clearheaded, and I responded with all the negativity we'd built up between us. We should've sat down like this a long time ago, and I'm beginning to think that you even had this idea before I did."

Kuvira tightened her jaw. "What're you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how I believe you wanted my forgiveness, even to the point where you began to lash out more when I stood my ground against you and Baatar Jr."

"It was about the Earth Kingdom, not you. I never—"

"Don't you remember, Kuvira? You said you wouldn't invade Zaofu unless I bowed to you. Specifically me. Opal told me how you would make other towns swear their alliances, and alliances depended upon signed contracts, and bowing was just something they did. You didn't go to that extreme, wouldn't have stood the twins and I up there for everyone to bow to the Great Uniter if I hadn't tried to kill you." Su paused. "You don't have to pretend anymore. I understand how much I hurt you."

Kuvira never thought she would feel the pain Su had caused her that night again. When it had actually happened, when she stared down Su with a metal cable around Zhi Li, the pain had bubbled in her chest, but she'd grown so disciplined and cold that she could dismiss it. She had chipped it away with anger and petty actions and a focus on her goals, a cockiness when everything was going right. But, sitting here, none of that mattered, and the pain was back. She swallowed back tears, in some strange attempt to still seem strong to Su.

"Was I really no better than a diseased animal to you, that you thought the only solution was to execute me?"

Su took a deep breath. "It was a mistake that…that's been haunting me more recently."

She'd only considered murdering her adoptive daughter as a problem _recently_? Forget how Su couldn't have seen Kuvira's dark side coming; how had _Kuvira _never seen Su's dark side until now?

Kuvira snorted. "What's changed?"

Su shifted. "Do you remember while we were waiting for the airship to take you to the holding prison and you threw up on us?"

"Unfortunately."

"I don't know if you were aware, but you looked up at me, and it changed things. You didn't look up with embarrassment or the physical agony you were going through, you looked at me the way a suffering child looks up at her mother desperate for comfort. And, I think it's safe to say you were far from emotional manipulation at that point. That moment was the first time that it hit me, when I realized that you never stopped viewing me as a mother, deep down."

"Then why do I remember nothing but disgust and hatred in your face in that moment?"

Su's eyes went to the table's surface. "I was afraid of what would happen if you saw me falter. And, well, it wasn't like I stopped being hurt and angry at you just because you were in such a vulnerable state. It was wrong of me, I know, but I masked it."

"Why did you have to speak, after I was arrested? All I could have ever asked is that you'd have just said nothing that walk to the airship. Given me hope…"

"I'm sorry that it took me so long to understand how you felt about me. I'm not going to deny that it would've made things so much easier." She paused. "I just can't believe that through everything that happened between us, you still viewed me as a mother."

"Who else would it have been?"

"I just always figured you'd denounced parents in general."

"You think I didn't try? What you saw in that look wasn't any feelings I've kept at the brim of my consciousness. Even after Korra tapped into my abandonment, I wasn't _thinking _about how how much I considered you my mother. Whatever you saw was something primal."

Su's hand went to the letters. "Which makes it all the more powerful. Over the past several years, I've seen glimpses of you as a young adult, but I've never seen a glimpse of you as a child. I suppose it brought it all back for me, how the mad pilot of that mecha maid was the street-worn, crying little girl who clung to me the moment I offered comfort. For a long time, I thought it didn't matter that I saw that little girl in you, that the Great Uniter would push her back down and devour her, but now, especially seeing you again, I…I have hope."

"Hope for what…?"

"Hope that Kuvira is stronger than the Great Uniter. That one day, I'll be able to see your face and see the precocious and kind little girl, the passionate and hard-working young woman and not the horrors you caused."

"What are you saying?"

There had to be a catch. This was a dream. There was no way Su would forgive her, not now, not after one meeting… "I'm saying that if you come to me one day, a new life established, compassion and sanity back in how you spend your life, I won't think that it's a facade. I'll know that the girl I cared for isn't gone."

Kuvira felt the lump rising in her throat. "That's all very vague."

"You have to understand that I can't just let you back in Zaofu when you get out. Not only for my people, but for you. You shouldn't try to return to the life I gave you, and I doubt you want to. It's possible, and maybe even probable that the rest of the kids will come around like Baatar Jr. has, but I can't guarantee it. And, truthfully, I don't know what it'll take for me to be convinced that you've completely left the Great Uniter behind you. I know I can't get it just from talking to you for the next twenty-something years. I'm not going to go soft on you; I still think you need to pay for your crimes. I still can't forgive what you did to my family. I don't think the anger will just go away, and honestly, I don't think my Kuvira would've wanted forgiveness without redemption. But, I have my own redemption to go through while you work on yours. I may have never made you a member of my family, and that was wrong of me, but if there's any mistake I can fix, it's owning up to my own primal feelings. Kuvira, I did a horrible job of showing you this, but you were, and I suppose are, my daughter. My daughter who went off the deep end and tried to destroy a city with a super weapon, but my daughter nonetheless."

Throughout the entire four years that Su and Kuvira were estranged, Kuvira had always imagined how sweet "I forgive you" would sound, and that was as far as she'd ever gotten. Maybe it was something primal, something she never acknowledged, that wanted to hear what Su had just said. Those four tiny words that had just made all the difference in the world.

Kuvira's eyes welled with tears, and as much as she wanted to say something, no words were popping into her head.

Su still considered Kuvira her daughter?

Su pushed the letters over to Kuvira. "These are…all the letters I wrote to you that I never sent. I thought it might clear some things up. I need you to understand that I haven't forgiven you, nor am I very proud of you right now. But, you deserve what little I should've given you."

Su stood up, looked down at Kuvira, and something told her that it was going to be okay. It may take a while to realize that Su hadn't patched up all the holes and that they still had a long way to go, but this meeting seemed to be all about primal emotions, anyway. Kuvira got out of her seat, and more like a thoughtless child than anything else, embraced Su.

Su hugged her back. There wasn't any back rubbing or squeezing, but Su hugged her back.

As Su left, she said, "I don't think I'll be much help beyond this point as you try to help yourself, but I'll be watching your progress and rooting for you."

For a while, Kuvira sat in her empty cell, not willing to wipe the happy tears off her face. It wasn't until Korra came in, smile bright on her face, that Kuvira began to wipe them away.

"How bad was it?" Korra asked.

A few stray tears slipped out and Kuvira smiled. "Not too bad."

Korra wiped Kuvira's tears right off her face, and it was like something shifted in the universe. Kuvira looked into Korra's eyes, willing herself to lay down all the gratitude for having such an amazing friend and guide through all this. But, no words came out. Korra closed her eyes, and Kuvira stopped thinking. She closed her eyes, and suddenly she'd cocked her head to the right, strung up, waiting for the moment she'd just let go and lean in.

The millisecond before she decided to lean in, the door opened. Kuvira's eyelids flew open, within the same moment Korra's did.

"Korra, could we talk for a moment?" Su asked.

Kuvira quickly analyzed their situation; she and Korra were close, but it didn't look like they were about to kiss. And, as Korra left with a smaller smile and just a touch of a blush in her cheeks, Kuvira wondered what exactly they _had _done. Even in a moment of passion, neither of them had actually touched lips. It was surreal, and part of Kuvira believed that she could convince herself that it never happened. She imagined that neither she nor Korra would ever bring it up again.

"Next meeting we're going to start meditating! You're ready!" Korra called to her.

Once Korra disappeared behind the cell door, Kuvira put a thumb to her lips, unable to believe those lips had almost touched the Avatar's.

So this was what she had become: a soul on the path to redemption, less full of self hate and now just…lost. Even if she knew who she was—Suyin Beifong's adoptive daughter, Avatar Korra's advanced earth bending teacher, just Kuvira, not the Great Uniter—she had no idea what to do. She couldn't tell if she was any closer to balance, despite all the encouragement from her guide.

Her guide. Huh. Her guide that she was pretty sure she would've kissed had it not been for Su's interruption.

Kuvira: Zaofu born and raised, adoptive daughter of Suyin Beifong, former Great Uniter, Avatar Korra's advanced earth bending teacher, and undeniably bisexual. It didn't ring a bell yet.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **A huge thank you to everyone who helped me out with the fan fiction article! If you've still got anything to say, I'll be pulling quotes from this set of reviews as well. A huge thank you to everyone who's still supporting this story and have been spreading the word. If you've recommended this fic to anyone, I'm overwhelmed with gratitude. Also, if anyone's curious, I do have a Tumblr. I'm under the painfully non-creative name thewittywriter.

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed. I'm still uneasy to see if I did the Su/Kuvira scene well enough because well, it's kind of huge. Overall, I wanted it to feel like the first of interactions towards forgiveness, so if that's there, we're good.


	15. Meditation

Korra was waiting for the moment her own thoughts could come to the right conclusion, that there was no way in hell that she had almost kissed Kuvira. It…it didn't make sense. She was with Asami, and even if things hadn't been easy, especially not since Asami turned down her marriage proposal, saying she didn't feel ready for that kind of life commitment just yet, but she still…she still loved Asami. She loved Asami, and she was a monogamous person. She'd—she couldn't _fathom _the thought that she'd cheat on Asami. Asami was far too good a person, on far too good a streak, to have another crushing blow.

She'd interpreted it wrong, whatever had happened. With having a girlfriend for over a year, of course she'd start viewing platonic girl-girl interactions with the wrong lens. Kuvira was straight, had _just _seduced Baatar Jr., what, a few weeks before? They made jokes about her seducing Arnav, not any of the female guards. There was just no way.

Besides, all that had happened was Korra brushed a tear off Kuvira's face and they'd both closed their eyes at the same time. Kuvira might've just been blinking. Korra might've just been blinking. Nothing had happened. The most intimate and meaningful part of that moment was that Kuvira, someone who nearly didn't let Korra carry her injured ass out of the Spirit World let Korra touch her face. It was a deep emotional bond, a trust bond, not a romantic moment.

She loved Asami, and at best, Korra was beginning to love Kuvira like a really close friend, the way Aang and Zuko had "loved" each other. There was no more to it. She couldn't ruin Kuvira's path to redemption by tainting their relationship with these…feelings.

Korra got home late the day she waited outside Kuvira's cell as Su talked to her. She and Su's so called quick chat ended up lasting a while, Su thanking Korra for insisting month after month for Su to try to understand Kuvira better. Afterwards, she'd met with Wu, who was showing his own interest in visiting Kuvira, although Korra couldn't say it was for political reasons. She tossed her outerwear onto the coat rack Asami had bought, knocking the thing over for the millionth time since its arrival, and trudged upstairs.

It must've been really late, because Asami was already asleep in their bed, strewn across the thing as if she'd stepped into the room, taken off her shoes, dropped onto it, and fell asleep. Sure enough, she was still wearing her work clothes. She considered risking waking her up to move her into a position that allowed multiple people use of the bed, but decided against it. If Asami was that tired, she ought to leave her be.

Korra pulled some pajamas out of the closet and moved into one of the guest rooms in Asami's estate. This had seemed like such a good idea when they decided to move in together, but lately, Korra was missing the comforts of having a lot of people in a smaller space, like her setup on Air Temple Island.

She changed, and settled into the cold, empty bed. She really did still love Asami, but things just…hadn't been as great as Korra had always imagined. Not to diminish anything—Asami was the best significant other Korra had ever had, and Korra loved spending time with her and making her happy—but it didn't feel right. It didn't feel the same way she'd always imagined Aang and Katara or Tenzin and Pema had been. The first year had been blissful and heavenly, but ever since they passed that one year mark, ever since Asami turned down Korra's proposal, it felt like they'd reached a stagnation, a dead end. Asami had said she'd be ready eventually, she'd promised, but how would Korra ever know how long that would be? How could she know how to proceed with a relationship when the future was so blurry? She hated it, too, because a few years back, she could've just enjoyed the day-to-day pleasures of loving Asami, but she felt like she needed some foresight now.

And the worst part was that she and Asami were so perfect for each other. They balanced each other, they were kind to each other, they enjoyed each other's company, they had the same friends, values, all that, and spirits, Asami was hot to boot. She _should _feel like the luckiest girl in the world, but she didn't. It was scary. Nothing sounded worse than realizing that her relationship with Asami didn't work, the way her and Mako didn't work out. She couldn't imagine what Asami would think if she told her about these feelings.

She hoped Kuvira was sleeping more peacefully than Korra would that night.

* * *

><p>Asami was up before Korra, preparing breakfast. Korra greeted her with a kiss, and sat back to give Asami room to work.<p>

"You could've moved me," Asami said, a smile playing on her lips.

Korra smiled back. "I didn't want to disturb you. It was really late when I came back."

"What were you doing so late at night?"

Korra shrugged. "Meetings with world leaders, taking care of some minor spats in one of the boroughs, visiting Kuvira…"

"Aren't you supposed to meet with Kuvira tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Su was coming to visit her, and well, Su hasn't had the best track record in being sensitive, so I thought it'd be good if I could be there for her if something went wrong."

"How'd it go?"

"It went fine, actually. I think she made a huge leap to self-acceptance, and I think it's good for Su as well."

"That's great." She slid Korra her breakfast. "So, are you still going to visit her tomorrow?"

"Yeah. We're going to start meditating. I want to eventually take her to the Spirit World to finish the reconciliation process."

Something flashed across Asami's eyes, but it was so quick that Korra didn't catch the emotion. "You're really into this Kuvira redemption thing, aren't you?" Korra nodded. "Are you doing this with Zaheer too?"

"No. I feel like trying to get Zaheer to realize the error of his ways would be like teaching a man that blue is actually green; it's just so ingrained in him. I feel like the best I can do is check up on him and make sure he's found peace within his own imprisonment and doesn't plan to break out again. But, with Kuvira, I mean, she surrendered, she proved to me that it wasn't an ideology driving her, deep down, but that she got caught up in what she was doing. I know that she can be rehabilitated."

"You don't think you're focusing too much on one person? I trust that you know what you're doing, but it seems to be getting sort of…obsessive. Like you go there for more than just to teach her and guide her."

Korra hid the hints of panic with a smile. "Don't be jealous."

Asami chewed her lip for a moment. "Korra, if there's something you want to talk about, I'm all ears. Always."

She had to just say it. If she didn't say it, it only proved her doubts even more. "Do you ever feel like…like well, like we were happier when we were best friends? That this…this serious relationship is holding us back?"

There was a long bout of silence. "I…haven't ever thought about it."

Korra focused on her food. "I guess I'm just scared that me being too eager wrecked our chances for letting this relationship bloom."

Asami's expression softened, and she put a hand on Korra's shoulder. "Korra, I never meant to make you feel that way. I never thought any different of our relationship when I said I didn't want to be engaged yet. I just—"

"You didn't want to commit to me."

"We're so young. We haven't been dating long. It doesn't mean I don't love you."

"I don't think love is our problem. I believe we'd love each other regardless of if it's romantic or as friends, and I think it'd be one of the deepest, if not the deepest connection I'd have with someone. I'm just scared that that was our red flag, and we're both trying to ignore that something isn't right."

She pulled Korra into a hug, and kissed her. "You're overthinking it. What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm crazy about you?"

There were so many things she could've suggested—morning sex, a date that night, and invitation to hang with her at work—but her mind was blank. "I don't know." She kissed Asami's cheek. "But you're probably right."

How had she let herself become so unsatisfied with her life? Asami was perfect, and she knew that, so what was the problem? Was she really that hurt that Asami didn't want to marry her?

She went about her day, and the vile thought that she'd never dare utter to Asami sunk its claws into the back of her mind, and there was no shaking it.

What if her romantic feelings for Asami were fading, and romantic feelings for Kuvira were taking over? Because the more she thought about it, the more it made sense of the chaos her inner feelings had become. It would explain why Korra insisted upon seeing Kuvira so often, even after she'd been let off suicide watch and didn't technically need her anymore. It would explain those moments where she'd look into Kuvira's eyes and feel like something was going right in her life. It would explain the lingering looks as Kuvira moved, watching without Su's former guard knowing it, how Korra always seemed to be touching her. She could make up excuses, say half those touches and moments had been to comfort Kuvira, but she couldn't keep the lie up forever. Some of those times, she'd touched Kuvira because she wanted to.

Spirits, how could she do this, become Mako, liking one girl while loving another? It was so messed up. She had to stop this. She had to—

_Do you even know Kuvira's straight?_

She couldn't think like that. If she tried to figure out if Kuvira shared feelings, it'd just be a slippery slope down shattering Asami's heart. She couldn't do that, even if…

Well, even if she really wanted to.

* * *

><p>Two days after the meeting with Su, Korra was back. Korra smiled at Kuvira, and as normal as this had become, everything about them was beginning to feel different. Maybe it was Kuvira accepting that she was attracted to Korra, and maybe it was just the bliss that came from Su's visit, but she felt so much happier than she had in a while.<p>

"So, have you ever meditated before?" Korra asked.

"No. I always lowered my stress by dancing or exercise, and it never really became necessary. As you can imagine, I never thought there'd be much use in becoming good enough at meditation to reach the Spirit World."

"Well, that's fine. We have a while to learn."

Kuvira put a hand up. "Before we begin, what do you want to do with meditation?"

"I thought that it'd be really beneficial if we took a trip into the Spirit World together sometime during your sentence."

"Am I allowed to leave the cell like that?"

Korra shrugged. "Zaheer does it all the time. Trust me, you're good."

Kuvira paused. "Okay, well, how we begin?"

Korra got on the floor and got into lotus position. "You can technically do whatever position you want, but lotus is typical." Kuvira lowered herself onto the floor and got into lotus position. "Good posture is a big part of this, so keep your back straight. Otherwise, it's just about being in as relaxing a position as possible. It helps if your hands are touching, to give you something to focus on."

Kuvira wove her fingers together, thumbs touching tips, and closed her eyes.

"The most autonomous means of reaching a meditative state is focusing on your own breathing, but if you want guided meditation, we can try that too. See what works for you."

Kuvira focused on her breathing, instantly reminded of how little over a year ago, she couldn't take deep breaths like this. She squeezed her eyes shut and focused back on her breathing. She focused on her expanding and deflating lungs, the rise and fall of her chest. For a moment, it seemed as if she'd got it, and wasn't thinking of anything.

But, within that realm of thoughtlessness, feelings took over. And, for some reason, the defining feeling was that of her being watched. Why was Korra watching her? Wouldn't she be meditating too? She considered staying quiet, but she couldn't ignore the feeling.

"Korra, what're you doing?" Kuvira asked in a soft voice.

"What do you mean?"

Kuvira exhaled, said, "You're staring at me," and inhaled again.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Was it just her? Spirits, what was going on now? She opened her eyes, and Korra was facing her, hands not in the meditative position she'd suggested. Kuvira studied Korra, unsure of what to say without making this any more awkward. Awkward because, call her insane, but she was starting to think Korra was checking her out. It still made her angry thinking about the handful of Earth Kingdom officials who had spent a good deal of their negotiations over states looking at her body. Depending on deplorable the officials were without staring at her breasts, she'd either ignore them or _sneak in_ some death glares.

But, even if she was right about Korra checking her out, was it really worth pushing the subject?

"Sorry, I was probably imagining it," Kuvira said.

Korra smiled, relaxed a bit. "Solitary getting to you?" Korra paused. "Do they ever let you go outside? I mean, even in protective custody, they should be…"

"I believe the solitary is part of my punishment, not a result of incompetent prison staff. Besides, if they let any inmates get a look at me, I'd be eaten alive, regardless of how many guards there were around me. If I'm not the direct reason some of these people are in prison, I've hurt or killed some member of their families. This is an Earth Kingdom prison, after all."

"Still, I'm afraid when you get out you'll go blind from seeing sunlight for the first time in thirty years."

"I don't think that actually happens."

Korra put her hands out, palms forward and shrugged. "Let's try meditating again." She got up and went back to back with Kuvira. In adjusted, they bumped backs, and Kuvira would be lying if she said it didn't send a bolt of warmth through her. "And this time, I actually cannot be staring at you."

Once Korra stopped talking, Kuvira closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. It came quicker this time, that false silence that comes with blocking out even the softest hum of the overhead lights and Korra's breathing from behind her. The room was bright, so the color behind her eyes wasn't quite the pitch black she saw when she pulled the covers over her head to sleep at night.

The only problem was, once she found the silence, she didn't know what to do. Was she just expected to reach the Spirit World, or was there some intention she had to put with the meditation? Would Korra have to guide her there with her Avatar powers? Didn't it require enlightenment to reach the Spirit World?

Kuvira opened her eyes, and before she could even turn around, Korra did it for her.

"Not too bad for a first timer," Korra said.

"Thanks." Kuvira chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment. "So, how do you actually get into the Spirit World?"

"If you stay in the emptiness long enough and set an intention, you get there. The problem is how hard it is to truly enter that nothingness and be able to focus enough to set an intention. If you're anything like me, and I'm sure you are, impatience will be the biggest obstacle to get over."

"Okay." Kuvira put her hands back into a meditative position. "Should we try again?"

"I'm wondering if we should've done some preemptive relaxing before really digging into this. Might help calm you enough to be more patient. What usually relaxes you?" Korra paused. "That I could do too, so advanced metalbending dancing might be out of the picture."

Kuvira rolled her eyes good naturedly. "We did a lot of yoga to supplement dance rehearsals. Is that too intense for you?"

"Please. I can do yoga."

Kuvira smirked. "I'm sure you can."

She then proceeded to roll onto her side, lock her elbow into a ninety degree angle against her side, and lift herself off the ground, one leg out straight while the other met a perfectly perpendicular arm hand in foot. She smiled at Korra faltered, part wide eyes, part blush, all uncertainty.

"That. That isn't human. Not that."

Kuvira untangled herself and got back into a lotus position. "You going to lead the practice today, Avatar?"

"Yup."

Korra actually led them through a pretty good sequence, beginning with more active poses but slowly moving into more resting poses, ananda balasana, garbhasna, and supta matsyendrasana, ending with the classic shavasana.

"You've still got a little resistance in your shoulders," Korra said. "Can I adjust you?"

"Go ahead."

Korra started out with some minor adjustments, angling Kuvira's hands a bit differently, but even that touch was impossible to ignore. When she pushed down on Kuvira's shoulders, she almost forgot to let go of the tension keeping them that way. Then, Korra didn't stop. She moved her hands up and started massaging Kuvira's shoulders, neck, even a bit on her temples. Not only did it feel amazing but…spirits, it was like a rush of feelings, the same power that she used to feel under Baatar's touch. She would've called it bliss. She would've been well on the way to do whatever Korra wanted to get her to keep touching her.

When Korra's hands left, Kuvira took a deep breath, knowing what the Avatar was doing was a pretty typical practice for a yoga instructor. She focused back on her breathing, on feeling her whole self operate, the blood pushing through, her chest rising and falling, until it was all she could hear.

Until there was nothing to hear at all.

So this was meditative calm.

Time seemed to stop passing, and Kuvira began to feel like she was sinking. Normally, it would've alarmed her, but she let the physical connection to the ground fade away. It was all an illusion, anyway.

The only thing she couldn't muster was getting the courage to set an intention on reaching the Spirit World. Instead, she lay there in peace, basking in the nothingness. Like a nap, Kuvira just sort of knew when to come back to reality. She wiggled her fingers and toes, reactivating the blood flow, and turned onto her side and back to a sitting position. Then, she opened her eyes.

"You didn't fall asleep, did you? It's okay if you did; I used to all the time when I was first learning," Korra said.

For a moment, Kuvira wondered if she had fallen asleep, but something didn't feel right about that. "I don't think I did."

Korra nodded, a slight smile on her face. "Guess we're both pretty fast learners. I guess corpse pose works better for you."

"Guess so."

For a moment, neither of them spoke, and instead just looked at each other. She wondered if Korra had thought about that almost kiss, or if Arnav was right about Korra liking Kuvira back. That was the true torture in life, not being able to just _ask _her. So much for being the woman who got whatever she wanted.

Even if, whenever they made eye contact, it was like someone had corrected all the chaos in the world. It didn't feel like Kuvira was the only one feeling so happy whenever they were together. Korra smiled a lot when they were together, would glance at her for too long, and was so comfortable with touch. There was definitely tension between them. The one thing Kuvira wasn't sure of was if Korra felt as emotional intimate with Kuvira as she did. It wasn't necessarily discouraging as much as the only way for Kuvira to get answers would be to start actually asking Korra questions, start making _her _tell really personal stories.

"How much longer are you here for?" Kuvira asked.

"An hour at most. Not sure. I don't think I have anything going on today, so soak me in."

Kuvira laughed a little. "I feel like we spend too much time talking about me."

"That's because this is your redemption journey. I already went on that."

"Still, I've told you enough personal stories for you to throw me one." Kuvira smiled a bit. "It's only fair, right?"

"What do you want to know?"

Kuvira couldn't resist. "You said you dated everyone on your team?"

"I mean, Bolin and I went on one date, Mako and I dated for six months, and Asami and I are, you know, a thing."

"When did you…realize you were also attracted to girls?"

"I mean, looking back, I think I always admired Asami's…you know, aesthetic, but I didn't really realize that I liked girls as a thing until well…I guess I realized it sometime during my three years away. That's when I started to notice Asami flirting with me and liked it, and, I don't know…" Korra blushed. "It certainly wasn't the best time for me to have to face a female foe."

Kuvira blushed. "Yeah, that might be more difficult."

"Yeah. Luckily, it was pretty hard to check you out while we were fighting."

There was a long pause. "We weren't always fighting."

Korra put on a sheepish smile. "I'm going to regret whatever comes next."

Kuvira threw on a smirk. "So you thought I was hot?"

"I mean, I prefer this look, but sure."

She preferred this look? Kuvira was back to blushing. "Thanks…"

Korra shook her head. "Okay, I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm acting so weird. I don't…mean all this in a hitting on you way. I mean, we can admire beauty in other people, right? You're a really attractive female, and that's pretty much fact. It's not a big deal."

But now Korra wasn't making eye contact.

_Just say it. Say you think she's beautiful too._

"Don't worry about it. If it makes you feel any less awkward, I think you're very pretty too."

Korra started making eye contact again, those blues now filled with wonder. "Thanks." Everyone paused. "What were we talking about?"

"When you figured out you were bi."

"Oh. Yeah, you didn't make my job easy. I'm going to start blaming your physical appearance on my loss in Zaofu instead of my fighting skills, if you don't mind."

Kuvira chuckled. "I don't think I'll be able to spread the rumor far, but I'll take it."

Instead of moving off the floor, the two of them scooted against the wall to talk. Kuvira couldn't help but notice the way they orientated themselves while talking had become visibly more intimate over the year or so.

"So…I know the Fire Lord is a woman now and we're getting over the patriarchy thing, but was it ever hard to be a female military leader?"

"You know the stories I already told you about how people treated me early on, so I'd say once I had established myself as a genuine threat and someone who needed to be taken seriously, any negative associations with me and my sex weren't a problem. What happened after that were just minor annoyances. I'm sure you've had the same problems every now and again. Being checked out when you're trying to get through official business, lewd comments, stuff like that. There was only one time when it really got to me." Korra started to smile, anticipating a story. Kuvira pointed a finger in Korra's direction. "If I tell you this story, you better give me some fantastic story in return."

Korra laughed. "I will."

_A seventy-five percent unification of the Earth Kingdom required the signature of one Gopan, governor of the state of Lungzhi. The state was in massive decline, and Gopan had sent three wires to them, as if he couldn't be sure enough that they were coming. Kuvira never spoke of it, but she knew how famous she was becoming: kids asked for pictures or hugs when she went through towns with supplies, bandits' eyes would fill with fear when they arrived in towns, and the name The Great Uniter was more famous than her actual name._

_"Ready to go, Kuv?" Baatar asked as she looked herself in the mirror, checking to make sure not a hair or swipe of makeup was anything less than perfect._

_She turned around. "What do you think?"_

_Baatar smiled. "You look perfect. C'mon, let's get this over-with. I never knew the phrase skin-and-bones had a real world counterpart, and these people need our help."_

_Despite every effort Kuvira made to equalize their relationship, Baatar still liked opening doors for her. She'd tried to make a fuss about it years back, but at this point, she took it to be a gesture of respect from a lower ranking officer and let him do his thing. It didn't really matter if she opened doors for herself, anyway. _

_Naturally, then, Baatar opened the door to the governor's office to begin their meeting._

_"Thank you so much for coming, Great Uniter!" Kuvira heard the governor say before she even got into the view of the people inside the office._

_Was…Was this man calling Baatar the Great Uniter?_

_"I'm not the Great Uniter," Baatar said, a bit of airiness to his comment, his way of diffusing the situation._

_Kuvira clasped her hands behind her back and rolled her shoulders back, chin slightly up. She hadn't taken lessons on body language per say, but she'd learned a fair amount on the campaign. That, combined with the generally very serious expression she wore without trying made for a good, serious image. She wasn't and would not be threatened by this guy, but part of her hoped that he wasn't outrageously tall like Baatar. Kuvira wasn't short by any means, but 5'7"-5'8" was still a height that could be towered over._

_She entered the room same as she would've otherwise, but took her sweet, contemptuous time to look up at Gopan. He was a bit shorter than Baatar, but still tall, filled out, his clothing hiding whether or not his thickness came from fat or muscle. He seemed to be on the younger end of middle aged, tan skin, no hair below or above his thick eyebrows._

_"You called us here, but before we can give your state its much needed aid, we need to negotiate my terms," Kuvira said._

_Gopan's smiled through the corner of his mouth. "_You're _the Great Uniter?"_

_Kuvira quirked a brow. "Were you expecting someone else? If you want to stand around laughing at your own jokes, I can leave and you can see who else can give aid to your town. The airbenders are spread very thin right now."_

_He bowed a bit, but with an aloofness. "My apologies, Great Uniter. I just—I'm infamous for staying out of the loop, and you're far from the image I had in mind."_

_Kuvira's eyes went to her contract as she set it on his desk. "I don't see how it matters to you. I could be a middle aged man or a twenty-three year old woman. I will save your town and state."_

_"You're twenty-three?"_

_Now it was just getting irritating. Even when governors tried to schmooze her with compliments or small talk to try to get more aid she had to blow off the frustration, but this idiot was still hung up on what she was instead of who she was. She spared the quickest of glances at Baatar, who held a crease in his brow._

_"My age isn't going to get you better terms." She tapped the contract. "In short, the state of Lungzhi will dissolve and become part of the Earth Kingdom again. You will still retain your position, but under my supervision, and you're granting us the right to use your state's resources so as to benefit the nation as a whole. With this agreement, your people will be protected and given the resources they need to not only survive, but thrive. Do you have any questions?"_

_"This isn't some decoy trick, is it? I'm not going to be negotiating if I'm dealing with the so-called Great Uniter's handmaiden."_

_Baatar's eyes widened, along with everyone surrounding Kuvira and the governor. The governor wore an ornate metal collar, and Kuvira couldn't think straight anymore. With just the clench of her hand, she had the collar tighten around his throat._

_"Listen here and sing it to your sexist friends: I am Kuvira of the Metal Clan, the Great Uniter, the President of Earth Kingdom, and I'm the person who gets to decide whether I want to give your town the resources it so desperately needs or to only stay long enough to watch the starving burst in here, roast you over an open flame and distribute your meat to the hungry. Even if you can't handle the idea that a _handmaiden _is dangling your life above your face, it's time to face some cold, hard facts." She got right into his face, able to see every vein in the whites of his eyes burst as he struggled for air. "Now, do you have any questions about my offer?"_

_She released his choker reclaimed her professional distance. The governor took a few moments to catch his breath, let the color return to his face. His advisors all exchanged a look, and one stepped forward._

_"If you don't mind, Great Uniter, I'd like to take over the negotiations for the governor. How long would the aid last?"_

_Kuvira centered herself, evened out her breathing. "We'd continue aid for as long as your people need it. We know how important a foundation is, and the only way to build your state back up to its former glory and beyond is to bring everyone out of this hell the bandits have caused."_

_"And…what exactly do you mean by using Lungzhi's resources?"_

_"For most states, that clause relates to natural resources. Metals that can be mined. Whatever is mined and given to my army will be used to both improve the army itself, thus allowing this period of chaos to end sooner and help your fellow Earth Kingdom citizens as well as going towards other life quality improvements here as well as wherever it's needed most. In return, your state will receive some of the resources that your fellow states of the Earth Kingdom have already offered to us."_

_"Would we have any say in how much goes out?"_

_"I'm afraid it wouldn't be practical to allow all the individual regions to decide for themselves. It would cause too much discourse, and we need to be efficient while lives are at stake."_

_"I understand."_

_The advisor continued to ask questions, thoroughly analyzing the contract, and it seemed as if negotiations were turning around. Sure, Kuvira was a bit impatient, having come here thinking they'd just sign the contract, but these people did deserve to know what they were getting themselves into. _

_Through it all, though, Gopan didn't say a word. In fact, he kept his eyes on the table, not even daring to look up at Kuvira's men. She could imagine what he'd try to communicate through his gaze: _how do you deal with this crazy bitch?

_"And what of the draft requirements for the army? Is your force still volunteer, or—?" the advisor asked._

_ Through her peripheral vision, she saw Gopan's gaze shift. Shift up. Shift up just enough to where he wasn't looking at the paper near Kuvira's hand, but definitely not looking at her face. _

_Was this pig honestly looking at her breasts while they were negotiating his state's fate?_

_In such a quick succession of thought one thought almost didn't seem to exist, she thought about how cold it was in this room and how finished she was with this man._

_"Is there something unclear on the contract, Governor?" Kuvira snapped, turning toward him. All eyes shot toward Kuvira and Gopan, even those of her own soldiers. "Because, let me assure you, I'm not hiding anything. Everything's crystal clear right here, but I suppose you can't help but _speculate_. _Check it out for yourself_." She stepped right up to him, taking away the protective table he'd stuck between Kuvira and his disgusting gaze. "I understand that a female leader is something still a bit _new_ to you, but let me assure you," she grabbed him by the chin and yanked him down so he looked her in the eye, cracking vertebrae and all, "I may be a female leader, but I will be just as ruthless and intolerant of your misconduct."_

_She shoved him back, intending to just make him stumble, but he fell to the floor, eyes wide with fear. She turned to the advisor whom she'd been talking to. "If your governor is more interested in ogling me, I'll gladly take my army and aid to a governor more interested in what I'm offering. But, I'm not here to punish the people for one man's faults. We'll wait at the border for one day, and if someone wants to take me seriously, I'll give what we talked out." She turned back to the governor. "Meanwhile, I hope your people understand who turned down their aid." She leaned into the governor. "Better get your one last concubine in, governor. People get pretty desperate when they're hungry."_

_She exited the office with her succession following her out in silence. Even Baatar didn't say anything. In fact, the only person who so much as dared to make a comment was Varrick, who said something along the lines of, "Some men forget why we name ships after women: they're cold blooded war machines!" as he looked at Zhu Li. _

_The officials requested a re-negotiation after five hours._

_It was the advisor she'd been talking to before who stepped forward and signed the papers. "Gopan has stepped down," he said with a shaking voice._

_Kuvira handed out aid right alongside a grinning Bolin and her other soldiers. She smiled as relief crossed mothers' and fathers' faces as they could feed their families again. Kids looked up at her with awe, and the more friendly ones even asked her for handshakes, hugs, autographs, whatever they could get. A ratty looking reporter asked for a picture with her as a mob of grateful kids came in to embrace her, and she smiled for the flash. _

_"You're my hero, Great Uniter," one boy said as she handed him an apple._

_"And you're the reason I'm doing this," she replied._

_Two older boys approached Kuvira, hands out._

_"What really happened to the governor?" one of the older boys asked the other._

_The other older boy smirked. "You think anyone was going to let the Great Uniter come without cleaning the place up? He's watching, just before the horizon."_

_The little boy and the older boy's companion both looked between two buildings, toward the mountainside that lay beyond the town. Kuvira followed the boys' gaze, and found quiet the sight right before the horizon._

_Gopan was indeed watching over Lungzhi, eyes permanently open as he swung from a noose attached to a tree._

_"All Hail the Great Uniter," the boy who had delivered the news said._

_"All Hail the Great Uniter!" the little boy chimed in._

_Soon, everyone was chanting "All Hail the Great Uniter!" as she returned to the train._

_Baatar was the first and only person she told about Gopan's hanging._

_"Did we just…coerce this state into joining us?" Baatar mused._

_"Whatever gets results," Kuvira answered. She glanced out the window, Gopan's figure a dot in the background. "Remind me to make sure Lungzhi has a secure governor in place. Even if I trust the advisor, I want to be sure."_

Korra shook her head. "You were so insane. So, spirits, you were really affected by that, weren't you? I never thought I'd learn that the first state you coerced into joining you was only coerced because the governor was a sexist pig." She sucked air in through her teeth. "And I'm also not going to lie and say I understand what that's like. Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm also sorry that idiot was hanged, but I'm feeling Kyoshi, and I think she'd say he deserved it."

"Are you serious?"

"Half-serious. I hope you've uh, realized that you were being pretty overdramatic in refusing the town relief and not punishing the town for murdering their leader is pretty insane."

"For the record, we kept a close watch on that town, and they never acted out again. I don't have a single recorded dissenter from that state at all. But, as for me being overdramatic, of course it was, but it was for more than just him bruising my pride. It was for every woman out there who has to deal with people who believe their blood, sweat, and tears is a joke because she's a girl. If I had Baatar stand in for me, that governor wouldn't have said a word and we would've been out of there in five minutes."

"You always seem to bring your questionable actions back to greater good."

"That one truly was. If it were just for me, I would've just given his balls a good spraining and finished negotiations with his advisor. It had to be a bigger message. The townspeople chose to kill him; I thought they'd just make him step down. Don't tell me that Eska didn't have to go through similar strife when she co-ruled with Desna, and that she didn't lash out."

Korra opened her mouth, but it hung open for quite some time before she lowered her finger and said, "No comment." Korra made a face. "Ugh, don't become my cousins. Sometimes I don't think they're actually human."

Kuvira smiled a bit. "So, I have to spread the rumor that you lost our one-on-one because you were too busy checking me out, and I can't become your cousins? And I haven't even gotten my story yet."

Korra pursed her lips. "How about I tell you about the time I tried professional cage earthbending?"

Korra started laughing before Kuvira could pretend to take her seriously, and Korra even got her to giggle a bit. "You're awful. That was the most demeaning meeting I ever attended. You want another point in which I started realizing why I was truly doing what I was doing? Put down that one."

Korra gently pushed Kuvira's head onto her shoulder. "All joking aside, I'm really happy that you're willing to talk to me. I don't know if you can tell, but it's done wonders for you. I feel like I'm seeing less of that sad little girl and more of a life-hardened, wise woman." Kuvira and Korra looked to each other. "And, don't tell anyone, but I really like her."

Kuvira smiled. "She has an amazing guide."

Forget attracted. Forget it, forget it, forget it.

Spirits, she was in love.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Holy shit, sorry for the length! It's 11 pm, I wrote most of this today, and I hope all this isn't all crap. XD Also, I don't think there will be too many other-character POV scenes, but I do hope I got Korra's feelings nailed down enough to where you can interpret exactly what she's thinking in Kuvira's scenes. But, seriously, I'm trying hard to be kind to Asami, so if anything feels to antagonistic, I'll keep trying to be kind. (Man, I'm talking as if Asami's real. Whoa.)

Oh, and if anyone wants translations of the yoga poses:

ananda balasana - "happy baby"

garbhasna - "child's pose"

supta matsyendrasana - "spinal twist"

shavasana - "corpse pose"

And yes, the massaging thing isn't _overtly_ Korvira. Regular yoga instructors do that, and it's totally platonic. Promise.

Alright, the concept for the next chapter was mentioned in here, and if someone guesses it right, I'll be giving out serious BAMF points. Love y'all, but I'm going to bed.


	16. Numb

Kuvira had officially found a close second worst way to be woken up after being slammed between the ceiling and a mattress, and it was the prison's alarm system. She barely had time to pull the covers tighter over her head before her cell door opened.

"Up and at em, Captain Kuv," Arnav said.

More than two months, and he still wouldn't stop calling her by that stupid nickname. At least he hadn't resorted to Kuvs or Kuvi yet.

She rolled out of bed, and the guards had her in their hands within seconds. Arnav faced her directly, another three guards around him.

"Don't be alarmed by what we're about to do," he said.

"What, are you gonna gang rape me? What's that supposed to mean?" she muttered.

"Actually," someone jabbed her in several spots on her upper back, and the pain was instantly accompanied by a woozy feeling, "chi block." Kuvira swayed in her spot, and Arnav steadied her. "Can you stand or do we need to carry you out?"

"It'd be a hell of a lot easier than with some of the guys we have to chi block," one of the other guards commented.

She pushed Arnav off. "I'm fine."

She wasn't, and would've fallen on her face if not for Arnav catching her. He threw one of her arms over his shoulder, and guard who made the carrying comment took her other side. The four guards flanked her like a procession, one in front of her, one on either side, and one in back of her. For some reason, they hadn't put her in handcuffs, but she supposed that was what the chi blocking was for.

"What's happening?" Kuvira asked Arnav, who was probably making jokes with himself about being on her right side.

"Fire. Mandatory evacuation of all prisoners. We'll just have to wait in the yard until everything's all clear."

Kuvira's stomach twisted. "Wait, with the general population?"

Arnav smiled a bit. "C'mon, Kuvira, why do you think you have four guards? It's for your protection."

Somehow, that wasn't making her feel any better. They couldn't have gotten her at a worse state: she had been having a hard time falling asleep, and despite it being midnight when they got her out of bed, she'd barely gotten half an hour of sleep, the chi blocking had gotten her way more than she imagined, and she had started her cycle that night. (And, since this had been going on for several months, Korra's 'You're not pregnant and in prison' encouragement was long gone.) In other words, she'd lose a fight against anyone who tried to challenge her.

She tried to be as mindful as possible as she was escorted outside, suddenly aware that this may be the only time in the next twenty-eight and a half years that she'd see outside her prison cell. The thought made a lump form in her throat, but she'd be damned if she attributed it to anything other than her cycle and going mad in solitary.

Turns out, the prison was huge, co-ed, and appeared to be made exclusively for earthbenders, or at least made from a ton of metal. Spirits, Kuvira would do anything to be able to feel that metal shift under her fingertips, but chi blocking really did dampen the charge being around her element usually gave her.

When they stepped outside, Kuvira had to blink a few times to adjust to this new level of darkness. Sure, there were some lights on in the yard, but the midnight sky was a black she had forgotten even existed. It was a gorgeous night, the moon big and stars shining above her head. It was enough to forget about the sea of prisoners already in the yard, corralled by guards and buzzing in conversation. Occasionally, she'd see one lightly push another or make other physical contact, but no one appeared to be getting into any fights.

"Look everyone, it's the honored guests of the SHU! The processions keeping getting longer and longer," one prisoner yelled as what must've been other solitary confinement prisoners walked by with their guards.

She wasn't sure whether to keep her head up or down. She couldn't be sure with her hair down and in the same rags as everyone else if she could be recognized.

Kuvira walked past the line of gen pop inmates, head down, but before she was home free, in another section of the yard, the procession stopped.

She set her eyes on her shoes and waited, heart hammering.

But, by some miracle, no one took notice of her. No one recognized her.

Her relief only lasted as long as it took her to realize that it was freezing. Literally freezing. She supposed she knew what season it was.

"Do they hand out jackets?" Kuvira asked.

Arnav's expression softened. "Oh, well, they usually distribute them to the prisoners because they get outdoor privileges, but I suppose they regulate the temperature in your room." He looked at his own overcoat, pushed Kuvira exclusively onto the other guard, and removed his coat. "Here, I'm used to the cold." He smiled. "Firebender trait."

As Kuvira struggled to put the jacket on while still a little paralyzed from the chi blocking, she studied Arnav. She'd always figured he was an earthbender. "I thought you were an earthbender."

He shrugged and took her arm again. "Part Earth Kingdom, part Fire Nation. A pretty typical mutt for these parts."

If she were honest, this was the first real time she'd thought about how crazy she'd been to try to take the United Nations back for the Earth Kingdom. Of course she'd heard about the Fire Nation/Earth Kingdom families who'd come out of the occupation, the main reason why Avatar Aang and Fire Lord Zuko had made the area an independent nation, but she'd never actually met someone who was born and raised in the United Nations with ancestors who came from that occupation. She wondered if Arnav was aware of this new bit of regret; probably not.

"Thanks for the coat," she said.

"Anytime."

Did he not qualify for her army because he was a firebender, or was it some other physical limitations? She really hoped it hadn't been because he was a firebender.

No, it wouldn't have been. Why would he still follow her cause if her people had acted in such a discriminatory manner? Spirits, there was so much that Kuvira couldn't account for, actions under her name that very well could've been horrible, and there was no way to truly know or atone for them.

Every twenty minutes or so, Arnav or one of her little guard posse had to chi block her again, leaving her limp in the dying grass the entire time. Another thing about prison: fires, or fire drills, or whatever this was, weren't resolved quickly. She counted twelve times they had to chi block her. _Twelve_. They sat out there for _four hours_. She could only hope her prisons were run better than this. Arnav's coat helped, but she was still shivering and she couldn't even tell if she was being irrational or not in hating every single person and thing in that yard.

"How long does it take to quell a fire that isn't even visible from here?" Kuvira muttered.

Two of her procession exchanged a look, and the one who had helped drag her to the yard said, "It usually doesn't take this long. They're probably sneaking in a fixing of the showers in cell block D while no one's here."

Kuvira crossed her arms. "Well, I'm not in cell block D, so maybe we could cut this field trip short?"

The guards all smiled. "You can go to sleep if that's what you want. Arnav's right here, and you've already accepted his jacket."

The guards jeered and wolf whistled while Arnav just stood there pulling at his collar.

"Just think about it, Arnav. One day, you can tell your kids that the former Great Uniter wore your jacket. Maybe it'll even still smell like her."

Kuvira rolled her eyes. "I haven't smelled like the Great Uniter in years, so tough luck on that front."

The guards all looked to her. "You had a certain smell?"

"Perfume."

"You wore perfume?" Arnav asked, as if any signs of femininity wasn't possible for a military leader.

"Perfume, makeup, sculpted eyebrows. If you forgot, I was mostly a politician."

"Yeah, a politician who one-on-one fought the Avatar twice and piloted a giant robot of destruction," one of the nameless guards said.

"If you don't think every major world leader hasn't fought the Avatar at least once…"

"President Raiko."

"What would that fight even look like? They might as well have fought every time Korra grabbed the man's chin during press conferences."

"Fire Lord Izumi," Arnav said.

"Matter of time."

Arnav crossed his arms. "Okay, now you're just covering your ass."

She didn't know how to continue, but mostly because she knew that Korra truly wasn't going to be starting any fights any time in the near future.

"Which one of us is the military tactician?" she replied.

Kuvira's left hand man rubbed his chin. "In your honest opinion, do you think there would've been a destructive uprising within the Earth Kingdom had Earth Queen not been murdered?"

Kuvira rolled out her shoulders, feeling returning to her body. "I believe that Queen Hou-Ting was always destined to be assassinated. The thing is, I'm of the frame of mind that if it hadn't been the Red Lotus, someone else would've done it. An uprising is likely as well. But, part of me also believes that it was almost destiny that the Red Lotus were the ones who killed her because they did it anonymously. They allowed for a very specific kind of aftermath. It wasn't just someone dissatisfied with the monarchy who tried to get rid of it so they could rule; those guys took her out with the intention of _no one_ taking her place. They didn't just want a new leader in the old system, they wanted to eradicate the system all together. And, honestly, it was due. The Earth Kingdom is infinitely stronger because we suffered through that period of chaos than we ever were with even the best monarchs. As far as I'm concerned, we can thank Hou-Ting as our unwilling sacrifice for the greater good."

"And you were the only one who could've brought the nation back to greatness?"

"Of course not. I originally had full faith that Su could've done it beautifully, but she chose not to. It didn't have to be me; all it needed to be was someone who was determined to help these people and bring order and unity to a nation fragmented and stripped raw."

One of the guards stopped her. "Okay, wait, you're still just cool with the Earth Queen having been murdered?"

Kuvira raised a brow. "Survival of the fittest, and honestly, once Kuei started having offspring, it went downhill. As in, _really_ downhill. Call it a poor lineage. At least the Fire Nation's royals are taught how to be semi-functioning world leaders and usually follow a tradition of military experience, and gain some real world wisdom. Look, I think you four would make better leaders than the monarchy of the Earth Kingdom. It's not saying much."

Kuvira balled her hand into a fist, the guards all exchanged a mischievous look, and one of them chi blocked her again. Even if these barely older than teenagers were joking around, Kuvira's overall exasperation with the situation actually had her doing that stupid growling noise that Baatar used to do when he got really pissed.

"When I get out of prison, I'm finding every one of you and cutting off your fucking hands," Kuvira spat.

The guards started laughing, but there wasn't exclusively joy in their eyes.

"See, the problem is that I have no doubt that you can and will do that," her left hand man said.

Kuvira accepted her new twenty minutes of motionlessness, and would've fallen asleep if not for the cold and a new attack of cramps.

Ten minutes passed with Kuvira motionless, listening to her guards talk amongst themselves and watching the inmates around her. They'd made a sort of artificial divide between the solitary confinement and protected custody inmates and the general population inmates, a ten foot gap between the two groups. Kuvira had a guard on both her side and on gen pop's side between her and the closest inmates, but she still couldn't shake the fear that one of them would recognize her.

It got to the point where the fear was beginning to loosen its hold, but one of the inmates, the man who had been jeering about the SHU, in fact, was looking in just the right place when one of Kuvira's guards made some joke about the Great Uniter.

She could practically feel the color leave her face.

"Spirits above, look what we have here," the inmate said. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the inmate nudge one of his buddies, equally as big as him. "So the rumors are true. Our humble prison is home to the _Great Uniter_ herself."

She did everything she could to relax her features, not show the apprehension in her eyes.

It seemed as if all the inmates within an earshot all turned to her, expressions full of hatred and anger.

"Look at me," the first prisoner said.

She refused. "I'm sorry if I caused you any unnecessary grief, but if you're just here pissed that I put you in prison after you raped and pillaged the people of my nation, I have no sympathy for you."

A female prisoner next to the one speaking to Kuvira put a hand on the prisoner's shoulder. "Come on, Lee, let it go. It's not like you'll ever see her again."

Kuvira looked to her guards. They didn't seem to be aware of the conversation.

"You're right. I suppose I won't."

Kuvira must be getting used to the chi blocking, because she regained her movement within eleven minutes that time.

But, that was exactly what these people wanted.

It was almost as if life moved in slow motion, Kuvira's eyes on the inmates as one of her guards moved to chi block her again. The inmate, Lee, smiled and nudged his buddy, eyes on her.

"Arnav, no!" Kuvira exclaimed.

The warning came a moment too late, Kuvira paralyzed again.

In that exact moment, Lee's buddy sucker punched the nearest guard, out cold.

Like predators rushing to the smell of blood, the prisoners broke out into a hundred-man strong brawl, firebenders breaking out their bending and everyone else making due with fists. Immediately, two of Kuvira's guards broke off from her to help stop the riot. Kali sticks, clubs, and whatever else the guards had at their disposal joined the flying blood and teeth. And, through all the madness, Kuvira locked eyes with Lee. She broke away long enough to look for her guards, for some assurance that this wasn't really happening, but she couldn't see Arnav or Left Hand Man anywhere.

All she could do was watch as Lee conjured lightening and shot it right at her. Unable to move, the pain had nothing to do but rip through her, a faster, hotter pain than the agony of breaking her ribs during the Colossus explosion. Light danced across her eyes. She couldn't tell if she screamed out in pain. But, if anything was clear, it was that she was going to die.

Then, it all stopped.

Someone grabbed her hand, and suddenly the burning, the muscle contractions, stopped.

Her body twitched, her skin burned, and she could smell the singed flesh, but the lightening was gone. She looked up, the image a little hazy, surrounded by the chaos around them, but there was no mistaking Arnav.

Arnav didn't speak, instead collecting Kuvira in a bridal hold and walking off with her. The guard, who had always been so bashful and obedient in front of his superiors, was literally walking them out of the riot and back into the prison that had been on lockdown for the past four hours.

"What're you doing?" Kuvira whispered.

"Getting you to the infirmary. I can't be sure none of the lightening hit your vitals."

Arnav would've made an amazing soldier, and as she bounced in his arms, her head against his chest, she was glad he never joined the Earth Empire army. He was saved the fate of the soldier fighting an ultimately flawed fight.

"Thank you," she said.

He threw on a brief, forced smile. "Anytime, Kuvira."

The last thing she could see and remember clearly was the night sky, moon and stars bright. Tears welled, fell, and soaked into Arnav's uniform as it dawned on her that this truly was going to be the last time she saw the stars.

* * *

><p>She'd been lucky, the doctor in the infirmary said. The lightening hadn't damaged any organs, and she'd just have to tend to some burns. The burns themselves weren't anything to brag about, just some really ugly flesh deformities running up her right breast and onto her right arm, an entry burn on her chest but nothing on the arm since Arnav had taken the brute of the lightening on his end. He was fine as well, a minor burn across his arms, but nothing more. She had tried to sleep once they returned her to her cell, but the pain medication they'd given her was weak, and certainly not enough to lull her asleep.<p>

Plus, who was she kidding? She was amped up. Amped up on adrenaline, amped up from finally being able to move after being tortured with chi blocking for four hours, and amped up because Korra was coming for the first time in a few weeks.

From what the papers said, Korra had gotten really involved in the second Earth Kingdom reformation, headlines ranging from Korra attending world leader conferences to Korra having apparently just saved Prince Wu from another unsuccessful assassination attempt.

Kuvira was still working on buying the whole her and Korra were mirrors thing, but looking at Korra as she walked in, with the heavy bags under her eyes and slump in her posture must've been a perfect mirror to how Kuvira looked.

"You look awful," Korra said, a smile forming on her lips.

"So do you."

Korra decided to take a new approach to seating this time around, pulling Kuvira's mattress off the bed, leaning it against the bed, and lying on it like a giant pillow. "Who has the better story?"

Kuvira joined her and dropped the newspaper in her hands. "I'm voting you."

Korra looked over. "I don't even know what you did."

Kuvira shrugged. "There was a fire, I got removed from my cell, and apparently I'm considered one of the most dangerous prisoners here, so I got to be chi blocked every twenty minutes by a posse of four guards while out in the yard. It took them hours to deem the prison safe again, and in that time, a man who had apparently deserted my army in order to try to break his brother out of one of the Earth Empire's labor camps and was subsequently caught for it recognized me, started a prison riot as cover, and tried to murder me. Arnav saved me by redirecting the lightening, and this," she rolled up her sleeve, "isn't even the ugliest scar to come out of that."

Korra's eyes widened. "Uh, you win the story contest. Want me to heal that?"

"Sure."

"Can you remove your shirt?"

Kuvira pulled off her shirt. She and Korra exchanged a look, and Kuvira removed her bra as well. Using the water left in her first aid tray, Korra began healing, seemingly unaware of how they had just jumped twenty levels of intimate in ten seconds.

"You don't seem as chipper as usual," Kuvira observed.

"It's been a hard few weeks. I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit."

"I understand; Avatar business."

For a moment, Korra stopped healing, fist clenched, water regaining its liquid properties, running down Kuvira's bare body. Korra's eyes widened for a moment, and she recollected the water. Began to heal again. "Sorry. I just—" She sighed. "It hasn't just been Avatar stuff."

Kuvira's brow knitted. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Korra took a deep breath. "I haven't for so long, but…" She paused. "Asami broke up with me."

"What?"

"It's—no, it wasn't just a dumping. It was mutual. She caught me a few days after our last visit and said that she could read me well enough to know when I've lost passion for something. She said that the safest option for our friendship and the bond we have is to end things before we started resenting each other. She said that she would always love me, and I said it back, and I mean it, but…I just, I feel like I failed her. I feel like I failed myself. I feel like…like I shouldn't feel so relieved by ending things."

"You don't need to feel bad about falling out of love. We don't choose to lose romantic feelings for our significant others; it just happens. You're lucky Asami was so gentle and understanding about it."

"She's lost everything, and I promised myself that I wouldn't be the one to give her one more hardship, then I just end up falling out of love with her? It's ridiculous. It's wrong. I shouldn't be letting her hurt like that. I can't ruin her happy ending."

"Korra, you haven't ruined her happy ending. She agreed to break up, didn't she? And you probably gave her the opportunity for a happy ending because she's not stuck in a relationship that was going down a bad road." Kuvira sighed. "Baatar did the same thing for me."

"I could fix things, though. It wasn't like I tried to kill her with a super-weapon. It was repairable. We just needed to reignite the flame. I gave up. That's just it. I gave up. Somehow, I can manage to not give up when my Avatar spirit is nearly destroyed, when I lose my bending, and when I'm all but paralyzed, but I give up after the first major hiccup with my girlfriend. I may be doing a decent job as the Avatar, but I suck as a person."

Kuvira let Korra heal her without offering any quickly written words of comfort. Korra deserved so much more than that.

She stayed silent, and thought. Thought about what Korra wasn't grasping about the nature of love, especially young love. Was she just going through the naive despair of thinking new love can't bloom? Was she not saying something about the breakup? What exactly had she done to Asami that warranted such self-hatred?

Kuvira put her clothes back on and watched Korra. Neither of them had been awkward about it, and considering they'd both blushed like mad the last time they'd accidentally called each other pretty, this was a huge step.

"You know, just because you're the Avatar doesn't mean every facet of your life has to be dedicated to making others happy," Kuvira said.

Korra stared at Kuvira. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you don't have to stay in a relationship with Asami because you believe she deserves it. You _deserve_ as much happiness as she does, and you're denying yourself that happiness by beating yourself up over a decision you both made. You should never feel bad about pursing your own happiness. Is there something I'm missing here? Did you cheat on her? Did you scream at her? Why do you feel so bad?"

"No, no, it wasn't like that."

"Then you have no excuse."

"I gave her a family when I started dating her. I gave her the parents she hadn't had for years when we saw my mom and dad. I would be there for her during all the ups and downs with her company. I would make her feel loved. And I'm supposed to take all that away because I don't want to live with or have sex with her anymore?" Kuvira couldn't help it; she smiled. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing's funny. I just can't believe that you think you have to stop doing any of that because you've broken up with Asami. Your parents never have to stop considering her a daughter because she won't be their daughter-in-law, and you certainly don't have to stop being her best friend. Isn't that what true lovers are, anyway? Best friends who have can manifest their love through physical acts together? Take out the physical intimacy and you still have an amazing friendship. You control what kind of relationship you have with your ex. You can make it okay, and it's not like you haven't done it before. You're friends with Mako, aren't you?" Korra nodded. "So be the same for Asami."

Korra sighed. "Why did I stop loving her?"

Just as Korra had once done for her, she pulled Korra's head against her shoulder and let her rest there. "I don't know."

Korra rolled over and snuggled against Kuvira. "Was it nice to see the stars again last night?"

Kuvira swallowed the lump in her throat. "I was, until I realized that that may be the last time I see them sane."

"What do you mean?"

"I've barely been in here two years, and I can feel the crushing loneliness and insanity that comes with staying in one's head, alone, day after day. This is considered one of the worst punishments in the world for a reason. Who's to say I'm going to be me when I'm released?"

"You tell yourself that you won't lose sight of who you are."

Kuvira glanced over. "And what happens when I'm a former murderer and war criminal?"

"You listen to your Avatar when she tells you that all she sees is a repentant woman who tells terrifying stories about who she used to be, but is finally just as scared of that version of herself as I am. You want to hear a story? Your story of that governor who got hanged because of you made me go home and think that maybe I'm going crazy thinking that someone who was that cold could truly be as mushy underneath as I thought. I gave it some deep thought, and trust me, I didn't stop thinking about it for weeks after Asami broke up with me. It tormented me once I moved back to Air Temple Island. I had a horrible thought that maybe I'd thrown Asami away to try to fix you when you couldn't be fixed. So, I tried to compensate by being an amazing Avatar and doing all these heroic Avatar deeds. But, you know what, it didn't answer my question. It didn't tell me if you had the Great Uniter living in you, the same way Raava has a little Vaatu growing inside her." Korra readjusted. "Then, it hit me: you're not some unique case. You're nothing more than an imbalance in this world. And, since when do I stray away from putting someone in balance? I don't." She paused. "So here I am, sitting in your cell, where I'll be for the next twenty-eight years."

"Can I give you some advice?"

"Not if it's about my storytelling abilities."

Kuvira smiled. "Try asking Asami if she wants to go to dinner with your parents."

"What?"

"Do it. See what she says. You think your relationship was the cause of her finding balance, but I think it was bigger than that."

"Near-death experiences are making you philosophical, and I don't think I like it."

"What do you want? Me telling more horrific stories, insulting Baatar's manliness, or finding something new and petty to complain about?"

"I don't want you to tell me about anything unless it involves the giant parties you threw after every victory in uniting the Earth Empire, and don't lie and tell me that you didn't get horrendously drunk at least once."

Kuvira smiled. "Source?"

"Bolin."

Kuvira exhaled. "I wouldn't say horrendously…"

* * *

><p>Arnav usually didn't care how long Avatar Korra spent with Kuvira, but even his absentminded boss would notice if he let the Avatar visit Kuvira for four hours. So, as much as he tried to be as hands-off with those two's visits, he had to go in.<p>

He just _really _hoped he wouldn't walk in on them having sex. If he could pull that off, he would say he had a successful day.

One eye squinted shut, he opened the cell door.

Inside, Avatar Korra and Kuvira were asleep against Kuvira's mattress, which had been propped up against the side of the bed. Korra was snuggled into Kuvira, Korra's head resting on Kuvira's chest, Kuvira's head lolled at a slightly downward angle, like Korra had slipped downward with time. Kuvira's arm was around Korra's waist. Neither of them were aware in the least.

Arnav smiled, whistled as loudly as he could, and announced that, "The cuddle session has to come to a close, ladies!"

They woke up and made eye contact in perfect unison, and there was a delightful three second delay before Avatar Korra threw herself off Kuvira, apologizing like mad. Both of them were blushing.

Arnav shook his head. "You two are my favorites."

Avatar Korra looked up. "Hey, thanks for saving my prison sifu's life last night. We appreciate it. I wasn't done learning metalbending yet."

Kuvira gave her a look from behind them, but Korra didn't let up.

The last thing Avatar Korra said to Kuvira was, "Hey, and don't forget about getting me those metalbending sketches!"

Kuvira agreed, and Arnav led Avatar Korra out.

* * *

><p>It took some serious thought to not bring flowers or any other sort of apology, but Korra did her best. Palms sweating, she rode the elevator up to Asami's office in Future Industries, going over what she was going to say over and over again, switching words and taking out sentences even in her thoughts.<p>

She had to wait two minutes with the secretary before Asami could see her, and tried not to take it personally.

"Hey, Korra," Asami said as Korra took a seat in her former girlfriend's office.

"Hey, Asami."

Asami set down the papers she'd been looking at and focused on Korra. "What do you need?"

There was no anger or sadness in Asami's voice. She didn't sound like she was holding anything back.

Korra swallowed. "Are you busy next week?"

With a wrinkled brow, Asami shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Because, well, my parents will be in town for some world leaders meeting, and I thought we could all go out to dinner. I know how much my parents mean to you, and I didn't want to wreck that relationship because we're not romantically involved anymore."

Asami smiled. "That sounds amazing."

Korra shrunk back a bit. "It wouldn't be…awkward for you?"

Asami shook her head. "We never stopped being best friends, and best friends can have dinner with their best friend's parents, right?" Asami smiled mischievously. "Besides, I thought I became a member of the family years ago."

Korra smiled. "Yeah, I guess you did."

There was a pause in conversation.

"Hey, what're _you_ doing later today?" Korra shrugged. "Want to grab some tea and catch up? I've missed getting a daily low down from you."

The smile grew. "I've missed hanging out with you too."

"Perfect. Meet me in the lobby at two."

"Perfect."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Okay, haha, that chapter ended up being more mushy than I intended, but I suppose there was some nice emotional depth in there.

Now, for anyone who thinks I sort of brushed over the Korrasami breakup-I will admit that it's not done quite yet. If you couldn't tell from Korra deliberately steering the conversation away from her feelings, she's still got some searching and accepting to do, as does Kuvira. Call this a bit of an emotional set-up chapter for the next one which will feature...the Spirit World! :D But, if there's anything I hope I conveyed with the story Korra painted, it's that they truly didn't end with a huge bang. It truly was two young adults understanding their feelings and finding the best way to preserve what truly matters, which is their connection to one another. I wasn't going for any romantic drama tropes in this one; just some real world, sort of boring, anticlimactic breakups.

Now, I, along with my fellow Korrasami shippers, will be thinking about that beautiful canon finale in preparation for _The Dictator's_ true OTP finally preparing to set sail.

Again, thanks everyone for all the support! I hope I'm still keeping y'all happy! If you have any questions, requests, or comments, leave a review or PM me. Half the fun of this is interacting with you guys.

P.S. If someone does fan art, tell me...


	17. Falling

Three weeks passed before Korra started talking about the Spirit World again. Between then and the fire alarm disaster, conversation and action had been focused on making that mysterious metal bending manual, talking about exes, and Korra filling Kuvira in on the nuances of the new Earth Kingdom conflict.

But, once those three weeks were up, Korra was whole hog monkey on the subject.

"So, do you think your meditation is good?" Korra asked a few minutes after settling into the cell.

"I mean, I can reach the nothing, but I've never tried to reach the Spirit World on my own."

"How do you feel about trying today? You only have to grab halfway; I'll get us there."

She wasn't sure how to respond. Part of her really wanted to see that flower patch by the new portal, but another part of her, a part that was a bit too well read, feared a vast majority of the Spirit World. Not only that, but surely some of those spirits would know what she did to the spirit vines, and who's to say Korra could protect her from those creatures? She'd barely survived an encounter with an angry person, and in the Spirit World, she wouldn't have her bending to protect her. In fact, if she could help it, she'd prefer to never get into another physical altercation with another vengeful person again.

She exhaled. "If you believe it's the right time."

Korra smiled. "Great. I already talked to Arnav, and he said he'd keep this meeting under the radar for five hours. No one's looking for me today, so we have a lot of time in the Spirit World."

Korra was really making this an official ordeal. Did she even really care if Kuvira had said she didn't want to? It was a curious thought, but not one she wanted to spend much time dwelling on.

They both got into meditative positions, facing one another. Kuvira waited a second after Korra shut her eyes to do the same, and focused on her breathing, blocked out everything else, just like she'd practiced for over a month now. The easy part, really, was crossing into that space of no sights and no sounds. The tricky part would be fully letting herself slip into that mental void, that emptiness that felt more like dying than a place of inner peace. She could feel herself sinking, and took a deep breath, focusing on the Spirit World. She didn't know what image to conjure, so she simply chanted _Spirit World_ in her head.

She sunk faster, deeper, beyond anywhere she'd gone before. Her heart seemed to drop, but she kept her intention. She tried to imagine landing in an actual place.

Through the darkness, a light began to emerge. It stayed at a distance for a second, and then careened towards her. Before she could get a good idea of what the light was, her senses all crashed back to her.

For a moment, she shut her eyes and tried to just establish herself through touch and sound. The ground beneath her was some kind of grass, the plant soft. It was warm, but not in an overwhelming way. It was silent, an unnerving silence that only grew as she realized that she was part of that silence—she couldn't hear her heart beat, her stomach growl, or anything of that nature. It was like she was a shell of herself.

Finally, she opened her eyes, and there was Korra, eyes open and already out of her lotus position.

"What do you think?" Korra asked.

"What are we? Why isn't my heart beating anymore? It wasn't like this before."

"Yeah, before we just walked into the Spirit World, which means we were still in our human forms. But, when you meditate into the Spirit World, you manifest as your spirit. Hence, no heartbeat, no bending, no sense of fatigue or any human necessities." Korra got to her feet and offered Kuvira a hand up.

"Where are we going first? And…what are we doing here?" Kuvira asked.

"We're going to the Tree of Time first to make an exchange. After that, we're going to go around and try to mend you as much spiritually as we can. You've made some amazing progress, but who aspects to the redemption and forgiveness I think you still need some nudging to achieve are a sense of owning the mistakes you made, especially when someone else points them out to you, and believing, honestly, that you deserve a future. It'll be fun, trust me."

Korra grabbed Kuvira by the wrist, and they were off. Kuvira had to admit, even if she was slightly terrified to find out what Korra wanted them to do, she was in bliss being outside and able to move around freely again.

And, spirits, this place was surreal. Walking what felt like minutes caused the landscape around them to change dramatically, their field gone and replaced by icy mountains that matched the sky. Nothing quite felt like it was _there_, always off in the distance or just out of reach.

Then, they were at what Kuvira assumed was the Tree of Time, a hulking, beautiful tree set between the other two spirit portals. Spirits of all shapes and sizes, whimsical looking and made with bright colors, flowed freely from the tree. None of them seemed to recognize or acknowledge Korra or her, and Kuvira wouldn't deny that it was comforting.

Within minutes of their arrival, someone appeared out of the northern portal. Out of instinct, Kuvira ducked down, but Korra yanked her up before she even hit the ground.

"It's fine," she insisted as she walked them both to the northern portal.

As it turned out, Korra's twin cousins emerged from the portal, thin books in the male's hands.

"Thanks, guys," Korra said as she received the books.

The twins' eyes went straight to Kuvira.

"Why've you removed your convict from prison? It seems a bit too rogue for you," the female (Eska?) said.

Korra shrugged. "She's still technically in her prison cell." She paused. "Uh, I don't know if you guys formally met. Desna, Eska, this is Kuvira. Kuvira, these are my cousins."

Instead of a handshake or bow or anything, the twins' eyes simply fell on Kuvira.

"So you've stolen Bolin's girlfriend. She seems much less threatening than when she took over the Earth Kingdom," Eska said.

Kuvira broke eye contact and Korra gave her cousin a look.

"She was never Bolin's girlfriend. She was engaged to the tall one with the crew cut and glasses," Korra replied.

Desna and Eska exchanged a look, and Eska said, "Men are useless unless they can be manipulated to your needs, and he seemed very weak. I approve of your romantic choices."

Desna glanced at Korra. "An odd change to Korra, though, considering she's the most powerful being in the material world."

Kuvira and Korra exchanged a look before Korra looked back to Desna. "We're not dating either."

Desna rolled his eyes. "Clearly."

The twins turned to leave, and Eska looked back once more. "I will accept your apology for insulting my brother and my rule through blueprints for your oversized combat robot. I enjoyed the craftsmanship and destructive power. It'd make a fine addition to the Northern Water Tribe's military."

The twins disappeared back into the portal, and Kuvira leaned into Korra.

"I don't have the blueprints for the Colossus," Kuvira said.

Korra shrugged. "I find ignoring them works wonders." Korra turned towards a way out of the area. "Off to the library for us!"

Korra managed five steps before bumping into a suddenly manifested spirit, a tall, tan, brown and white creature with mammalian features. "Watch where you're walking, Stinky," it muttered in a high pitched voice.

Korra gave the spirit the stink eye. "You're the one manifesting in front of the only moving thing in this area."

The spirit looked to Kuvira, contempt in its features. "So you've brought another human into the Spirit World. Are you going to eat this one's face and lick between her legs as well?"

Korra turned bright red, first out of humiliation that gradually turned to anger. "Shut up, aye-aye spirit! And no, I'm not—not _licking between her legs_."

The aye-aye spirit looked to Kuvira. "Your human looks horrified by the prospect, anyway."

Korra glanced at Kuvira.

"She's not horrified, she's embarrassed."

The aye-aye spirit rolled its eyes. "Wan was such a better pet than you."

"Yeah." Korra paused. "What direction is Wan Shi Tong's library?"

The aye-aye spirit pointed in the opposite direction Korra had originally been walking toward. "Thanks." Korra turned in the right direction, took a few steps, and turned back around. "By the way, it's called making out and eating out."

The aye-aye spirit humphed. "Humans."

"C'mon, Kuvira!" Korra called.

Kuvira followed her out, half expecting the aye-aye spirit to attack after hearing her name. But, the spirit just went along doing his own thing, no reaction.

"What're we going to do in a library?" Kuvira asked.

"I was thinking about the Earth Kingdom conflict, and it began to occur to me that our problem is that we can't just use the ancient government systems we've always used. We need to find some other, unknown system, and I figured an ancient spirit library should have plenty of information on old philosophies and political systems."

"Why did you bring me for this? Aren't I a burden, all things considering?"

"No. Besides, you understand more about political systems than I do. You can help me sift through the options."

Again, Kuvira couldn't be sure how much time had passed as they walked through realm after realm. True to Korra's statement, despite all the walking, Kuvira never tired. Eventually, they stopped in a forested area, seemingly stopping for no reason. Then, Korra looked up.

"I'm guessing that that's our library?" Kuvira commented.

Korra nodded, and started looking around the area. "I don't think we'd die if we just climbed up there, but that's not very efficient."

Kuvira looked up, a fear she couldn't remember really having clutching her insides. "If that's your plan, I'll accept that piggyback ride."

Korra looked around. "I can't believe I'm agreeing to this."

As much as Korra was clearly not into having Kuvira clutching onto her for dear life, she climbed through the jungle below the library effortlessly.

"Since when are you even afraid of heights?" Korra asked as she stood on the highest tree branch she could reach before having to navigate the vines on the library.

"Call it a reawakened instinct after we were blown off the Colossus from two hundred and forty feet above."

Korra looked down and back at the vines. "I just told you that we can't die in here! I don't even think you can break another eight ribs from the fall. Why am I carrying you at this point?"

Kuvira shrugged. "Because if I fall, you'll have to get down and help me get back here?"

Korra mumbled something about Zaofu not having any trees and jumped to grab onto the nearest vine. One swing, and they were deposited into the library through the closest window. Korra brushed herself off and sat up.

"Books?" Korra asked.

Kuvira handed Korra the manuals and they both got to their feet.

The library was nothing short of magnificent, hulking in size, detailed in ornamentation, books as far as the eye could see. It almost seemed to contain more knowledge than could be conceived, and the buried bookworm inside Kuvira was actually excited to be there.

Well, until an owl monster spirit swooped down in front of them. Both her and Korra startled a bit, but Kuvira went full instinct, cowering behind Korra like a child. Armies, world leaders, and the Avatar she could handle, but forget these spirits.

"Just because you've managed to make your way into here without any assistance from the spirits doesn't mean I'll let you stay," the owl said.

Korra bowed to the spirit. "If you don't mind, my friend and I would like to take a look around the library. I'm the Avatar."

The spirit loosened its stance, but didn't seem all that impressed. "The rules are no different for the Avatar."

Korra handed the spirit the manuals. "I wouldn't dream of it. Here's an entry from my friend and I."

"I have millions of bending manuals. What makes your entries worthy of Wan Shi Tong, He Who Knows Ten Thousand Things?"

Korra pulled her arms back and opened up the top one. "This is a metalbending manual that illustrates techniques that my," Korra moved aside, exposing Kuvira, "friend here invented herself."

Wan Shi Tong took the manual from Korra and flipped through. "What do you call this metalbending style?"

"Call it disabling offense," Kuvira answered.

"Very aggressive, even for the bending form. Fascinating." He swished his wing, and the manual disappeared. He opened Korra's. "'How to Tame A Polar Bear Dog?'"

Korra nodded. "I'm the first person in the Water Tribes to have tamed one, and therefore that knowledge is unique."

Wan Shi Tong flipped through a few more pages before sighing and accepting the book.

"I expect you won't be misusing my library, Avatar," Wan Shi Tong said.

"Nope," Korra answered as she grabbed Kuvira and walked them elsewhere. Once they were out of the presence of the spirit, both of them relaxed a bit. "Yeah, not a pleasant one, that guy."

"You didn't mention the giant owl when you said we'd be going to the library," Kuvira grumbled.

"As long as we don't imply that we're using his knowledge to fight wars, he'll leave us alone. The only reason Jinora said she got into trouble was because Unalaq showed up."

"No more crazy family members?" Kuvira asked.

"No. Why are you acting like something is inevitably going to go wrong? This is a learning experience, not some adventure meant to brush with death."

With the help of fox spirits who served as sort of librarians, Korra and Kuvira were led to the section of the library that held the political theory books. They both grabbed a stack and started working.

"What was the overall problem with democracy? Why was the Earth Kingdom so against it, according to Wu and your other world leaders?" Kuvira asked.

"Someone mentioned that it may just have to do with the fact that the Earth Kingdom citizens don't want to become separate states."

"So, we're not looking for a small government model. Good to know."

A while passed, comments between them more along the lines of, "There's a theoretical government system that works off randomly selecting leaders within the population" and "and why are we the ones doing this?"

"Maybe we should just make Prince Wu be king. Maybe he'll do a good enough job that the people won't revolt. Kuei did a pretty good job after the Dai Li conspiracy," Korra said as she tossed a book about monarchies over to Kuvira.

"You might as well form an aristocracy at that point," Kuvira replied.

Kuvira flipped open the monarchy book, not convinced, but slightly tempted to look through simply because some of the longest lasting government systems had been monarchies, even with revolutions. Some core idea must be working for that, even if every other aspect of the system was flawed.

Page after page went by, and Kuvira was ready to toss the book back to Korra when something caught her eye.

_Constitutional monarchy._

Kuvira's brow furrowed as she read the description. Unlike an absolute monarchy, the power of government was held by a parliament, a cabinet of elected officials who represented the areas of his or her area. Within that group, laws were passed and an ultimate power figure in the form of a prime minister was selected from within the parliament. Depending on the system, the monarch may serve as a trophy piece for the nation or would have powers granted by a constitution, such as approval of the prime minister.

"Korra, check this out," Kuvira said as she pointed out the section on the constitutional monarchy.

After she scanned the page, Korra looked up. "So…the lawmaking power is held by the parliament and the executive decisions are made by the prime minister. How is the lawmaking body brought into power?"

"Elections within divided areas. In the Earth Kingdom's case, it'd probably be the states or drawn areas within the state."

"And that's all the people would need to do?"

"Yeah."

"What would Wu, or whatever monarch, actually do?"

"Depends on what form you choose." She paused. "Considering Wu and what we can expect from future members of the royal family, I'd stick to a minimum. The idea of the royal family representing national pride and going around the nation fostering it within the people seems right up the kid's alley. It's a very important job, but it doesn't involve politics or actual ruling."

"So…the constitution keeps the prime minister from absorbing more power than he needs?"

"Yes. It would be laid out in the constitution."

"Who'd write that?"

"Someone within your family of world leaders, I'd suppose."

"How would we guarantee that the prime minster wouldn't be voted in just to appease the wants of the lawmaking body?"

"It's assumed that each member of the parliament is elected in order to better his state."

"But if everyone is elected to help their state, how would decisions be made for the whole nation?"

"Majority rules. It may not be perfect, but it should work pretty well."

Korra flipped through a few more pages. "It does seem like a better option than what we're proposing now. It would allow for Prince Wu to have his singing career or whatever the hell he wants to do with his time while still serving his nation, and all those people like Mako and Bolin's grandma still have a monarch they can revere while also giving power to the people." Korra shrugged. "I think we can work with this."

They two of them exchanged smiles.

"I'm guessing that this isn't the type of library that you can check things out of?" Kuvira said.

"Highly doubt it. Let's try to find some pens and paper. Surely Wan Shi Tong won't care if we record some peacemaking strategies."

With the help of the foxes, Korra got herself a pen and paper and was able to record all they needed about the constitutional monarchy. As unnerving as the spirit who owned the library was, it turned out to be quite the useful resource. Kuvira bowed along with Korra as they encountered Wan Shi Tong on their way out, and perhaps it was that brush with what seemed like death that made jumping out the window with Korra possible.

Even if Korra had to grab hold of her and jump for both of them.

* * *

><p>"Sorry this is taking so long. There's a couple spirits I want to introduce you to, but they've left the last place I saw them," Korra said as they passed through another realm, a forest morphed into a desert.<p>

"Don't you have a spirit guide?"

"I don't. Or, I don't recognize any…"

Korra just stopped talking, gaze forward. Kuvira moved to see what she was seeing, but nothing was there. First dose of special Avatar powers, she supposed. Then just as suddenly as the aye-aye spirit had appeared, there was a flying bison in front of them. It had different markings than the snot monster Opal had been driving when she broke her family out of prison, but it was definitely a flying bison.

"Appa…" Korra said, eyes wide, slowly approaching the animal. The animal groaned in response, and Korra embraced him. "I've never seen you before. What's happening?"

Appa…Avatar Aang's animal companion. What did Korra mean that she hadn't seen him before? Didn't she have connections to all her past lives?

Appa licked Korra with a giant tongue, and Korra turned to Kuvira giggling and covered in saliva. "C'mere, Kuvira, come meet Appa. I found us a spiritual guide."

She approached Appa with caution. Unsure of quite how to approach the animal, she held out her hand for Appa to sniff it. Even the bison's sniff showcased its amazing wind wielding abilities. The creature hesitated before rolling its tongue over Kuvira's entire face.

Korra laughed. "He likes you. See what unbiased personal impressions can do?"

Kuvira wiped the bison spit off her. "I'm sure he's in the minority around here."

Korra climbed onto Appa's back, helped Kuvira up, and crawled over to the bison's head. "Yip, yip!"

And, just like that, Appa propelled them into the air. As if the spirit library wasn't bad enough, all Kuvira could do now was clutch onto Appa's fur and hope for the best. Meanwhile, Korra was content as could be, talking to Appa as if he could understand her.

"Kuvira's on a path to redemption right now. Kinda like Zuko, I suppose. Lost for a long time, did some bad things, but really wants to turn her life around. It's my first time doing this redemption guide thing, and your approval means a lot."

Had Korra telepathically communicated with the flying bison, or were they just going to fly around for the remainder of whatever five hours in the real world was here?

"If you were wondering, usually animal guides would manifest as guides for the next Avatar upon entering the Spirit World, but I've never found Appa before. For a while, I thought that Appa and Aang had managed to transcend this world into the actual afterlife, and especially after Vaatu destroyed my connection to Aang, I figured he'd be lost forever," Korra said. "I have no idea how this is happening right now."

Kuvira shrugged. "Maybe you were going about connecting to your past lives wrong."

"Maybe."

Appa dropped them off in a woodland-like realm: densely populated trees, rocks scattered throughout, and a bright orange sky above them. Kuvira could've just been hallucinating at that point, but she swore she could hear wind chimes in the air. So far, it was the only other place that reminded her of the serenity of the area where the Republic City portal sat.

"This place is beautiful," Kuvira commented as she ran her hand along a tree trunk, really savoring this encounter with nature.

"I know. Why else would I come to meditate here?"

Kuvira turned around, only to find Zaheer. When she turned to Korra for some kind of explanation, she was smiling and nodding. It seemed the only other option was to look to Zaheer and hope Korra had pulled the rug under on both of them.

Sure enough, he was looking at Korra, a furrow in his brow.

"Based on the last time we met, this is one of the last things I expected to see," Zaheer said to Korra.

"She surrendered to me and is going down the path to redemption. A little bit like you," Korra replied.

"I may have miscalculated what happened when I killed the Earth Queen, and I might regret having lost my friends, but I didn't do anything that needs redemption," Zaheer replied. He looked over to Kuvira. "So you're the Great Uniter?"

"Formerly," Kuvira muttered, almost reflexively now.

Zaheer disappeared and reappeared within a few feet, looking down at her. "Quite underwhelming, actually. But, I suppose that's the nature of all world leaders. The bigger the reputation, the bigger the facade, the smaller the human behind the mask." He looked right into her eyes, stare relentless. "What was the justification you used to enslave all those people? To save them from abandonment? What do you know of true suffering? You're a little girl who was raised by one of the most powerful people in the Earth Kingdom. You've been trained for greatness, had it waiting on a silver platter."

The easiest response would be to bring her parents into this, but something didn't feel right about saying that, like it'd be playing right into his hands. Of course she knew true suffering, and no, she wasn't raised for greatness, she was raised to serve Su in whatever way she saw fit. She was raised to become an accessory in Su's city.

"I'm not going to waste breath comparing each other's suffering," Kuvira replied. "If we're really going to waste time arguing, you might as well get the ideological fight over with."

Zaheer stepped forward, and Kuvira struggled to hold her ground. "When the Avatar first mentioned your name to me, I didn't remember fighting you in Zaofu. It was only hearing your voice that I began to remember. Weren't you a little idealist back then? You told me to release the Avatar. Do you remember that?"

"Yes."

Back when life was simpler. When the most extreme emotion in Kuvira's arsenal was sadness. Back when life could've been marrying Baatar, becoming a Beifong through marriage, and settling down to create the next generation of the famous family.

(A hollow existence.)

"How did that fight end, between us?"

"I fought in tandem with the other guards. We never had a one-on-one."

Zaheer smiled. "So you weren't the one I blew into a column and knocked out?"

Kuvira paused, just about finished with being belittled by this terrorist. "I was what Su wanted—a guard, a master by her standards. There was no creativity in the way we fought, and we were taught that metalbending worked best in a group. I was naive, and I'd be a fool to say I could've taken you then. It wasn't until I left Zaofu that I began to understand what a true master does: a true bending master creates. I practiced and studied into exhaustion night after night, and I discovered what metalbenders feared. I learned how to be a force alone. I learned how to optimize a situation for my bending, to coerce, and to end lives." Something stirred inside Kuvira, and her eyes were right in line with Zaheer, and she couldn't look away. His expression had softened, but the intensity in his gaze remained. She understood. "Just like you."

Zaheer scowled. "You have no idea how quickly I would've ended you if I'd gotten out of prison again."

"You would've have had to end me if not for Hou-Ting. Do you ever think about that? How you created me through the chaos you unleashed on the Earth Kingdom?"

"I do, and judging by what you just told me, I did you a favor."

Kuvira felt an overwhelming urge to dump it all out on Zaheer, say how she never wanted this life, how she never _wanted_ to become a dictator, or a world leader in general. She endured the insults, the tauntings, the physical injuries, and the pain of all but losing her second family forever so she could help the people he hurt. She could justify until the end of time why she did what she did, could even anticipate having to accept that all her good and intentions didn't make up for the horrors she caused.

But, what would be the point of doing that? She'd just be feeding him, showing how much he affected her. It wouldn't change the fact that there were going to be people like Lee and him and probably the majority of the Earth Kingdom who would never forget her for the bad she did, would never accept her redemption.

She looked over to Korra, and it all began to come together. The whole point of coming to see Zaheer wasn't for them to realize that they were similar after all (even if they were), but to realize that she would have to learn how to accept and get over people hating her for what she did, and not to fear it.

She looked up at Zaheer and relaxed her posture just a bit. "You're right. Because of you, I understand what it means to let go of a comfortable, old life and discover my true potential. I should be thanking you."

Zaheer looked to Korra. "You've been passing on Guru Laghima's teachings."

"Technically, I gave her the book. She read it herself," Korra replied.

Zaheer looked back to Kuvira. "You're a mystery to me, Great Uniter."

* * *

><p>Korra could actually guide them herself over to the next location, which was…not friendly, to say the least. The land was desolate, and a chasm full of fog stretched as far as the eye could see.<p>

"I'm scared to ask," Kuvira said as she looked out at the chasm.

Korra set her gaze straight ahead, beyond the fog. "Call it some tough love. I think it's time you faced your deepest fears head on. I believe you can defeat them now."

Kuvira pivoted, just so she could look Korra right in the eye. "What are you talking about? What fears?"

"I would've done this in the swamp, but since I can't take you out, this is the next best thing. Down there, humans are forced to relive their darkest memories, and the only way out is to conquer them and clear your mind."

Kuvira looked down. "I…don't think people get out of there, Korra."

"Trust me, I've been down there before. If you only spend a little bit of time there, you can get out. If you don't after a certain amount of time, I'll come down there and get you. Totally foolproof."

"You're kidding with me right now, right? That deep buried Avatar Aang humor?"

Korra offered a small smile. "No, I'm completely serious."

And Korra pushed her over the edge.

She didn't feel the actual pain of the landing, but that was perhaps more linked to the overwhelming fear she felt upon realizing that she had actually landed in some sort of nightmare-inducing hole than any absence of pain.

Kuvira picked herself up off the ground and surveyed her surroundings as best she could. The fog was thick, but even _thick _didn't seem like the right description. There was something beyond the physical quality that just made the entire area suffocating, like a small room closing in—

She shook her head; this place messed with heads, and she wasn't going to lose it within ten seconds. This was fog, and the area was walkable. She'd just find the way out. If Korra had gotten out, surely there was some means to physically climb out of the area. She chanted it in her head, that she was finding a way out. Over and over again, as she took a step she repeated the mantra.

The fog was probably—_definitely_—probably getting thicker, but Kuvira pressed on. How hard could it be to walk in a straight line? Korra couldn't have pushed her that far into the fog, so it should be a short walk. If she'd learned anything from that day in the swamp it was that these forests had their overwhelming power and influence, but they couldn't be spread forever.

Even if…looking around, everything was looking the same, and she could hear what seemed like disembodied voices in the distance. There wasn't, like, a monster that lived down here, and that's where the nightmares came from, right? No, Korra wouldn't have thrown her into a beast's lair without her bending. She kept walking, squeezed her eyes shut, focused on her goal, but even walking was beginning to sound like a bad idea. How long would Korra let her wander in here? How the hell would Korra ever find her if she couldn't bend away the fog? This place was huge.

What if Korra couldn't find her?

Kuvira stopped walking and pressed her hands into her face, eyes shut. She needed to focus. It was the fog doing this. It could be fought, just like any other emotion. It could—

She pivoted, and everything unraveled like a broken basket. Eyes opened, and she lost her straight line. She went from walking to running. She ran, absolutely no idea where she was going, only to smack into something solid.

When her vision and awareness returned, she might as well have not gained an ounce of clarity because she was looking right at Aiwei. She let out something between a surprised gasp and a scream and darted away. _This isn't real. He isn't real. Find the exit. Find the…_

The fog was so thick that it probably would've been suffocating had she needed to breathe. All she knew was she stopped moving, fell to her knees, looked around wildly, but there was nothing to look at. There was nothing, everything…

And the sound of a child's voice off in the distance, crystal clear, calling, "_Mommy! Daddy!_"

Kuvira's mind snapped into focus, fixated on the child's voice. The cries grew louder, nearer. "_Mommy! Daddy! Where are you?_"

The child stumbled out of a thick patch of the fog, into Kuvira's line of vision. It was a little girl, rain-flattened black hair sticking to her dirty face, cheeks hollowing, bags under her eyes, dirt crusted in her nails. Her clothing was stained and fraying, shoes barely holding together.

She hadn't been homeless for one night; it had been a week.

For a long moment, Kuvira made eye contact with the little girl. The girl's expression didn't waver from her trembling bottom lip and tears rolling down her dirty cheeks, but something shifted inside Kuvira.

"Come here," Kuvira whispered, barely said out loud at all.

The girl broke eye contact and went off running, still crying, "_Mommy, Daddy, where are you?_"

Kuvira got to her feet and ran after the child. She needed to tell that girl something, even if she didn't know what right then. She needed to see that child again. She needed—she knew why the little girl was crying.

Eventually, Kuvira broke through a thicket of fog enough to find the girl again. She was on her hands and knees, sobbing, blubbering, "_Where're my mommy and daddy? I can't find Mommy and Daddy._"

"Hey, kid, come here," Kuvira said, keeping a good distance from the girl. "I'm not going to hurt you."

The girl wiped her nose and looked up. "Do you know where my mommy and daddy are?"

Kuvira held out her hand. "No, but I'll help you find them."

The girl didn't move, eyes moving to Kuvira's left. And, as much as Kuvira could feel the dread mounting, she did so as well.

A couple dozen feet back stood a figure, covered nearly head-to-toe in an ornate green military uniform, shining metal on its forearms, ankles, and waistline. Heavy metal shoulder plates surrounded its head, black in place of eyes, like a darkened Avatar State. It didn't speak, but held out a gloved hand to the little girl.

"No! No, come here. She's not going to—" Kuvira said, seemingly out of control of what she was saying.

"Your parents aren't coming back, and it's not because you're unworthy," the figure said. "They're the ones who're unworthy. They're the ones who'll pay when they learn your name again. Come here, and I'll make sure they regret what they did."

The little girl stood up, faced the figure.

"They shouldn't have done what they did, but that doesn't mean you have to cause more suffering," Kuvira said. "She'll only make you lose every new source of love you can find. Please, come here."

"She's weak," the figure said to the little girl. "She gave up at the first sign of false hope. You're never going to find a new family; everything will just build it up and manipulate you. The only way to happiness is to greatness. You have to make your own world beyond them."

The girl stepped towards the figure, and as much as Kuvira wanted to run after her, to grab the girl herself, she couldn't move. She could hardly think. She couldn't believe…

"You don't have to form a new world to find happiness. Please, don't do it," Kuvira pleaded with the little girl. "She's lying to you. All she wants is power to fill the void of how devastated she is that Mom and Dad left. One day, you're going to do some horrible things to try to compensate for that pain, and people are going to hate you. You're going to want to end everything, think you were never worth the time on earth, but that doesn't mean it's never going to get better. It does get better. You find love again. You don't need to choose resentment and fear. I understand what I'm supposed to take away from Mom and Dad abandoning me. It's not about the wrong they did, but how I have to break the cycle. If they won't love you, I will. You deserve me. You deserve a second chance, a happy ending."

Tears flowed down the girl's cheeks as she looked between Kuvira and the Great Uniter. Kuvira stood up and walked over to the little girl. No one moved. The Great Uniter seemed poised ready to attack, but Kuvira still went right in and scooped the little girl into her arms.

And, like that, the Great Uniter disappeared.

"Who replaces Mommy and Daddy?" eight-year-old Kuvira asked as Kuvira cradled the child close to her.

Kuvira shut her eyes for a moment, almost in shock by how amazing it felt to have this warm little body close to her. "You know how Avatar Aang's love for his people was reincarnated in Katara?" The little girl nodded. "Avatar Korra saves our life when we lose sight ourselves to that void. She saves us when she shouldn't have saved us, and by some power, we form a new spirit portal. The power is too powerful for us at first," Kuvira got up and started walking, the little girl practically weightless in her arms, "and we end up fainting into her arms when the spirit portal spits us into the Spirit World. We don't accept her compassion at first, but she…she talks to us, comforts us, makes us realize that there's only one way left to go, to end the bloodshed." Kuvira begins to walk up rather than forward. The fog doesn't seem so thick anymore. "She visits once a week, healing our wounds, talking to us, guiding us as we grapple with what we did."

"Do you ever feel better?"

"Yes." She puts her hand on the back of eight-year-old Kuvira's head, cradling it. "You do. You have to remember that. You deserve better than pain and revenge. You shouldn't have to avoid your feelings. Someone will listen and understand. Not everyone will want you to succeed, to become a good person again. But you have to remember that it only matters if one person wants redemption, and it's you. You deserve it. You deserve," she sighed, "you deserve that love."

Eight-year-old Kuvira looked up, eyes wide with awe. "For Korra to love you?"

She kissed the little girl's head. "For you to love yourself."

The little girl threw her arms around Kuvira's neck, and for a moment, they held each other close, the way Su used to comfort Kuvira on those first few nights, the way Kuvira always dreamed she'd one day cradle her own children.

By the time she could see the edge of the cliff she'd been pushed off, the little Kuvira was gone, a distant memory, more like a dream than a hallucination. Korra was pacing the edge of the cliff, a couple spirits around her.

The moment Korra saw her, her eyes widened and a huge grin spread across her face.

"You did it!" Korra cheered. Korra ran to her and threw her into a hug. "See, I told you that you'd do it!"

"She didn't think you'd get out," one of the spirits said.

Being in Korra's arms was enough to distract, to forgive. Kuvira smiled, molded into the hug, and whispered, "I'm going to kill you when this is over."

"She really didn't think you'd make it," another spirit said.

It was such a strange, surreal moment when Korra took her hand as they went to their last stop, but Kuvira didn't pull away. She thought about her younger self. She thought about being happy.

* * *

><p>Call throwing Kuvira into the Fog of Lost Souls one of her less genius plans, but it did work. Korra wasn't going to brag to anyone about it (in fact, she and Kuvira agreed to say Kuvira fell into the spirit prison if anyone asked), but it had truly showed something…incredible about the former Metal Clan guard. The last person Korra had known who got out of the Fog had been Tenzin, and Tenzin had always been very, well, collected. Korra knew Kuvira had meditated on the issues for a long time and that she was resilient, but together enough to guide herself out of the Fog of Lost souls? Incredible.<p>

The kind of incredible that she couldn't keep her eyes off of.

"What do you do when you're in love with someone who tried to kill you at least three times?" Korra mused to Iroh as she watched Kuvira nurse a cup of tea while she played Pai Sho against one of Iroh's regulars.

Iroh glanced over at Kuvira. "Funny how love finds us, isn't it?"

"Someone's going to never let me let it go. I just wish everyone could see her the way I do. I want to scream it to the world, but it's like the universe didn't want us together."

Iroh chuckled. "You really think the universe doesn't want you with the one person on earth who made a spirit portal with you? Sounds to me like the universe is screaming it to everyone."

"Does she look balanced to you?"

"She looks like she understands herself inside, but doesn't know where to go with this new map."

Korra frowned. "I just wish I could get her out of jail early, give her a project to do. She'll never admit it, but prison is wasting her away. It's only a matter of time before she throws herself back out of balance. Anyone would given that much time with only one's thoughts."

Iroh smiled. "Then I guess you got yourself a project." He set down his teapot. "You know, some of the strongest friendships I've ever seen grew out of a misunderstood sense of hate."

"I know, Aang and Zuko."

"Iroh?" Korra and Iroh looked to Kuvira, the spirit gone, nothing more than her and her tea. "You were a Fire Nation general once, right?" He nodded. "How did you end up the way you are?"

"I realized that I sacrificed the love of my life, my only son, for conquest, and what an awful, hollow life those sort of thoughts led to. I wandered for many years trying to understand what to do without my son, and then my nephew was banished, and I knew what I had to do. Loving Zuko and nurturing him into the savior for our family was my destiny." He chuckled. "And taking back Ba Sing Se for the Earth Kingdom was a fine goal as well." Kuvira shifted in her seat. "My best advice for you is to be patient. It's okay to feel lost for a while. Eventually, as long as you keep faith that your destiny will reveal itself to you, you won't be lost to the darkness." Iroh looked to Korra. "It also doesn't hurt to have the Avatar looking out for you."

Korra and Kuvira held a few short moments of eye contact, and Korra knew.

She was undeniably in love with Kuvira.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Well, shit, this ended up being long... But, I suppose I'll leave it as is. You guys waited the extra few days it took me to update, so here's an extra big serving. :) Just so everyone knows, college is picking up, so I may be limited my updates to once a week, but I'll keep trying for twice. I hope everyone enjoyed the giant list of cameos and that bit with the Fog.

Now, some of you asked some questions of me, and here are the answers:

Yes, Kuvira and Korra are falling in love.

No, I do not use a beta reader. Me at night posts these chapters, and me in the morning edits the glaring errors that me at night doesn't find.

Again, if anyone has any questions/suggestions, drop a review, PM, catch me on Tumblr (thewittywriter), do your thing. Hope everyone's having a good week!


	18. A Dangerous Dance

Following the Spirit World visit, everything was just…calm. Uneventful. Peaceful. Kuvira couldn't tell whether it was a good or bad thing, and part of her was content to call it a neutral event. She'd spend long stretches happy to be idle, free to just think. She tossed Iroh's words around every chance she got, mentally feeling her current state, wondering if she truly could be content being lost.

She thought about that tiny revelation she had in the Fog of Lost Souls about how long she'd been homeless for. It seemed so unbelievable that she'd replaced a week with a day, and as it truly began to sink in, long forgotten memories began to resurface, everything from dreams to pictures and words seeping in while eating, showering, going about her simple existence. She remembered how she had waited from sunset to sunset out in front of her house, walking in an almost constant circle around the building looking for a way in, only to collapse in exhaustion. She remembered wandering around her dome, losing her bearings, and actually wandering out of the dome. She remembered that terrifying night in which she was locked out of the dome, out in the wilds surrounding Zaofu, convinced every rustle of a leaf was a beast preparing to devour her. She remembered walking into an area of Zaofu she could only recall entering once or twice. She remembered how it had rained, and how she'd gone from elated to not have to drink water from fountains to hunching under a store's awning, soaked to the bone and half convinced she'd freeze to death. She remembered the begging, the hunger pangs, the fear, the hopelessness, and the despair. She could remember actually crying out what that hallucination had cried out, and the emotional turmoil behind it.

It only made sense that she had clung to Su the way she did. It reminded Kuvira just why she had been so dead set on uniting the Earth Kingdom, why she'd endured all that physical and mental anguish without a moment of doubt. Sure, she'd doubted her own methods, doubted whether or not she should've killed some people, but it was never doubt geared towards her goal. It helped her remember why, through all the mistakes, she couldn't regret what she did. It made it almost feel inevitable, like every bit of the past four years had been set out for her the moment her parents didn't come home.

It didn't hurt as much as it used to.

When her year and half anniversary came around, Korra brought in fruit pie, a supposed Air Nomad specialty, homemade and everything. Even for all the nice things Korra had done for her over the past year and a half, Kuvira couldn't help but soak in the awe of how fortunate she was to have someone like Korra on her team.

"So, second time's the charm, I guess. But, to this day, I don't think nailing my sparring partner in the eye with a small rock should've made me fail the test the first time. I mean, that's resourcefulness, not 'lack of control.' And I was fourteen. What did they really expect?" Korra was saying.

Korra had begun telling the brute of the stories lately, that day leaving Kuvira space to listen and lick the fruit filling off her fingers.

"I would've passed you even if you blinded the guy. His fault for not wearing safety gear."

Korra threw her hands up. "I know!" Korra opened her mouth to speak more, but faltered, eyes on Kuvira. "You are so lying about not having been with girls. You're practically inviting me in."

Kuvira hadn't even been paying attention, but the mood was light enough for some teasing. "You're right, that's not nearly explicit enough." She slid her index finger through the excess fruit filling and formed a v with her index and middle fingers before she licked the filling off.

Korra laughed. "You did a really good job hiding your humor, Captain."

"Bolin was so disappointed."

"Did Bolin ever tell you about where the Eska thing came from?"

"No. I didn't even know Eska had non-political opinions on me until you told me."

Korra grinned. "So Bolin never told you about when he got himself engaged to her?"

* * *

><p>"So…you're a good dancer, right?" Korra said what must've been about an hour later.<p>

Kuvira raised a brow. "Yes."

"Well, since they're campaigning the constitutional monarchy model throughout the Earth Kingdom, I'm going to have to go to a bunch of schmoozing events, and apparently, that involves a lot of balls and dances. And…"

"You don't know how to dance."

"Exactly." Korra paused. "So, would you be able to teach me?"

"Like, right here, right now?"

"Just a crash course. I have my first event in Ba Sing Se this weekend, and there'll be a lot of eyes on me, and I want to do it right."

Kuvira studied her. "I didn't know you were such a perfectionist. Alright, I'll give you a crash course."

Korra's expression brightened, and Kuvira wouldn't deny savoring it. They got to their feet, and for a moment, Kuvira surveyed their height situation. They really were the same height, and Kuvira couldn't be sure if Korra would be dancing with male or female partners.

"Do you bring dates to these events, or is it just you have to dance with whoever asks?" Kuvira asked.

"Both, but I'm not planning on bringing dates."

"Okay, perfect." Kuvira took a step closer to Korra, took Korra's hand, and put it on her shoulder. "I'm going to teach you how to be the follower."

"I can be the leader!"

"I'm aware, _Fully Realized Avatar_, but you're also a new dancer, and you'll need guidance. Trust me, you won't be talking in a few minutes."

Kuvira interlaced the fingers on her free hand with Korra's. Even in their year growing more intimate, they had never held hands like this, and Kuvira had to keep her thoughts straight.

"I'm just going to teach you a basic waltz, and depending on how good you get, we can add in flare and variations. We might be able to add in other forms."

"Sounds good."

Kuvira put her hand just below Korra's shoulder blade and pulled in as close as necessary for the dance, which was actually pretty close. Close enough for a lot of their bodies to be touching.

"The footwork is really basic for this one. All I'm going to be doing is stepping in a box shape, and you follow." Kuvira let go of Korra and took a step back. "Watch what I do, and then I'll show you what you'll be doing."

Kuvira demonstrated the leading partner's footwork, and Korra didn't even need instruction to figure out her part. Before either of them knew it, they were back to touching, waltzing through the room.

"They say airbenders were the best dancers in the world. Suppose it'd explain how you picked this up so fast," Kuvira commented.

"It's not that hard. You made it a lot simpler than I thought it was, too."

Kuvira introduced turns, but with a closed dance, there really was little more to do besides quicken the movements and add more turns.

"Keep in mind, especially with dances with a lot of spinning, maintaining eye contact with your partner is key to not getting dizzy."

Korra smiled a bit. "I was gonna say, I don't know how much I can stand the spinning." They stopped to rest for a moment, hands moving off skin. "This might be a really dumb observation, but your metalbending technique really is a lot of dancing, isn't it?"

"Fancy footwork, yes." Kuvira smiled mischievously. "But, if you haven't already noticed, that's the proper form for metalbending. It's not about being grounded or strength, but speed, agility, and quick thinking. Not unlike dancing."

"Spirits, I can't wait until you can teach me metalbending."

"Su should've taught you that."

"In case you forgot, the best I had was breaking in metal walls and bending some of that liquid meteorite. I don't think I've ever really metalbent like you're describing."

"Shame. If you have the ability, with some hard work and practice, you can fight in ways you can't even imagine. Highly effective, and in a fight as a master metalbender, the only real opponents are fellow masters. Effective, precise, and deadly. You'll be quite the Avatar."

They linked back up, the steps almost second nature for Kuvira's fast-learning student. Footwork slid into embellished turns and sidesteps, switching directions as a wild, fluid pair.

"How did you come up with those metalbending moves of yours? Were you just experimenting while fighting, or did you develop them just working casually with the element?" Korra asked.

"The thing is, nothing I did was mechanically more advanced for any master metalbender. All I did was come up with more creative ways to use the metal. I kept metal cuffs on, and I had the metal belt the whole time on the campaign. I began to add more metal to my uniform as I realized how useful it'd be to conceal my weapons on me. The metal sword and daggers are all just molded from the metal I kept on me. The real roadblocks were learning how to properly hold up opponents by pieces of metal and telling myself that there wasn't anything morally wrong about how I was using my metal."

"I've always been curious about why no one seems to use metalbending for forming straight up weapons. Knives, swords, daggers, like you said. It seems like it'd be really easy to end fights, even with skilled benders. Who doesn't naturally react to a gushing cut?"

Kuvira began to add more freestyle flare into the dance—twirls, position changes, fancier footwork—and Korra followed naturally.

"Call most metal benders moral."

"Come on, in battle, what's amoral about giving someone a cut on the cheek to throw them off?"

"Korra, without perfect precision, that could blind someone."

"My point is, sometimes, what Zaheer said gets me. Like, think about how much better benders we could be if we stopped fearing what bending can offer us."

"That code got Zaheer to suck the air out of the Earth Queen's lungs and made bloodbending possible, didn't it?"

Korra faltered, and the dance stopped. "I don't know, maybe I'm just worried that without the Avatar State, I'm just an average master bender. I feel like I should have skills like what I've seen you and Unalaq have. Wouldn't it make sense for me to master all the subelements and take them to new heights?"

"That's not your job, though. You've got enough responsibility on your shoulders, and perpetuating the innovation of bending isn't one of them."

"I don't know if it isn't. Think about how rare lavabending and even metalbending are, yet every time I've seen someone believe in themselves, they've discovered that they have these abilities too. What if I should be encouraging benders to not fear their elements and open up to the possibilities? Talk about innovation. Who knows? Maybe someone will unlock a bending skill that will cause a new technological revolution."

Kuvira put a hand on Korra's shoulder. "Honestly, Korra, focus on this new Earth Kingdom government, and if you happen to discover a new bending ability along the way, congratulations. No need to shoulder too much."

Korra shook her head. "I just can't shake the feeling that I'm closing myself off to something fantastic."

"As long as you don't teach yourself bloodbending."

"Don't worry; Katara would kill me." Korra paused. "One more dance?"

Hands went to shoulders and backs, fingers interlaced, their bodies drew closer, and they looked into each other's eyes, but something entirely different happened. As they looked at each other, the moment so pure and silent Kuvira couldn't even say that she was thinking anything, Kuvira found her eyes move from Korra's eyes to her lips.

And, just like that, Korra bridged the gap between them, lips pressed against lips.

People always used to say that kissing someone you loved, truly, was like a fireworks show. Kuvira didn't feel any fireworks, but she began to understand what that expression may have meant because kissing Korra, it was like someone had doused her in liquid bliss and it instantly absorbed into her bloodstream. Everything canceled out, and she was both hyperaware of how soft Korra's lips were, how good it felt to have the pressure against her own mouth, and the warmth now shared between them, but also caught in a place where she couldn't feel anything but the thought _I'm kissing Korra right now_.

For all the desire laced in that single closed mouth kiss, it was Korra who pulled away first, cheeks red.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what—" Korra said.

Kuvira's response was to throw the ball back into Korra's court, but Kuvira didn't play gentle. Call her a woman who got what she wanted. Kuvira crushed her mouth against Korra's, desire becoming less like the sweet, slow feeling of bliss and more like the fast, hot feeling of adrenaline. She kissed Korra with everything in her, unwrapping her hand from Korra's so she could knead it into the Avatar's hair, gripping tighter onto Korra's shoulder.

Korra didn't back down from the move. She kissed back with as much ferocity, hands on Kuvira's back. They held onto each other's weight like drunks, struggling to keep proper balance, stumbling their way onto Kuvira's bed. They shifted one on top of the other between the pressing and parting of lips, limbs tangled in the mess.

Korra eventually secured a position on top of Kuvira, but Kuvira took the reigns. She swiped her tongue between Korra's lips. Korra only parted a little, teasing, waiting to see if Kuvira would force her the rest of the way. Kuvira smiled a little, acknowledging their little game, and took Korra's bottom lip between her own lips. Sucked a little, paused, and pinched the plush flesh between her teeth, biting down only as fast as the soft moan in the back of Korra's throat. Half aware, Kuvira felt Korra's hands move to her hair, moving in swift, repeating motions as she undid Kuvira's braid. Kuvira let go of Korra's lip and they dipped away, leaving just enough space to look each other in the eyes.

"Got a lot of pent up desire?" Korra said through ragged breath.

"Something this hot? It's been _years_."

They molded together again, Kuvira trying the swipe between Korra's lips again, and Korra opened right up. Tongues touched, slid past each other, encircled. Kuvira, for the first time in so long, let Korra push the dance into Kuvira's mouth. They still tasted like fruit pie in Korra's mouth, but an entirely different sensory overload came when Kuvira let Korra come inside. Her mind flitted to different motions, old, faceless memories and newer, unfulfilled desire at the forefront of everything. She didn't even _think _about Korra inside her; she _ached _for it. She pressed against the back of Korra's head, pushing Korra further in. She settled a hand on the upper half of Korra's neck, feeling the bumps of her spine, the soft skin under her jaw, needing to know how the rest of her felt. If there was one thing she could distinguish between men and women, it was that women were so much softer, made in curves instead of lines. She wanted to trace Korra forever.

Korra instigated a break, separating just long enough for them to catch their breath. They made eye contact again, exchanged some smiles, and Korra dove back in. But, her lips went a bit lower than Kuvira's face, settling into the exact spot Kuvira had once put Korra's fingers while teaching her seismic sense. She licked her lips and pressed them to Kuvira's neck, dampening the skin. Then, spirits, she pulled away a few inches and blew a bit of cold air onto the area.

The shiver from the cold was less like an involuntary means to get warmer, more like thousands of fingertips running up and down her body, turning from cold to hot in milliseconds. The best words she could vocalize was a gasp and sharp inhalation of breath. When she emerged from the overload, she was aware of how she had wrapped herself around Korra, even closer now than before.

When they starting kissing again, and Kuvira got to feel those curves through Korra's clothing, time melted away. For once in her life, she was stuck in the present, savoring every second, mind not ticking past a few seconds in the past or the future. This was raw, this was hot, this was meant to be.

Arnav's heavy steps signaled a forced end to their meeting. They peeled away slowly, Korra moving to the mirror to readjust her clothes and hair, Kuvira sitting up, but not much else.

"Time's up, ladies," Arnav said as he opened the door moments later.

Korra took a few steps toward the door before looking back. They held each other's gaze for a moment, speeches running between them through eyes alone.

"Same time, same place, next week?" Korra said.

Kuvira nodded. "Same time, same place."

Out of Arnav's view, Korra gave Kuvira one last smile before walking off. Arnav made himself very clear, taking one look at Kuvira's messy hair and walking away with a knowing smile on his face. Kuvira didn't mind. The young guard seemed to like the idea of her and Korra together, and had enough sense to know telling anyone would ruin his little go-to couple.

Once the door shut her together with her thoughts, she laid back and shook her head. That had really happened, hadn't it? What did it mean? Was it just some crazy one-time make out session, or was this going to bloom into something bigger?

She supposed she had a long talk with Korra ahead of her.

If this was what Iroh meant by being lost, maybe she could handle this.

She had just kissed the Avatar. She had just kissed Korra.

_Wow_ was the one word big enough to describe it.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **LOOK WHO FINALLY DID IT! Alright, 18 chapters, seems pretty slow burn to me. I hope it uh, was up to expectations. I certainly had fun writing, and for anyone who wants to know, the current outline calls for 23 chapters, and this chapter is the beginning of the final story arc.

Also, _The Dictator_ has found itself some artistic representation. The incredible nikkipet on Tumblr made a gorgeous piece. I also discovered digital coloring, went crazy with it, and made the thing that is now the cover art. (both can be found on our respective Tumblrs)

So, are you happy that I've finally presented some romantic Korvira? Did it feel too sudden scene-wise, or did it work? Comments/feedback/questions are always appreciated. :) Happy February!


	19. Not Quite Love

**A/N: **Note: this chapter has been edited as of 2/16/15.

* * *

><p>Kuvira had never wanted time to pass as quickly as she did during the seven days she couldn't see Korra. There wasn't an inch of room to deny what hung so obviously in front of her: she was in love with Korra, the kind of obsessive, schoolgirl crush, overflowing lust kind of love that could keep her awake, thoughts where they shouldn't be and hands in even worse places. The kind of love where she couldn't see spots on the wall without thinking of Korra. It was like every emotion she'd reigned in over the past, hell, eighteen years, was finally bursting out, and she was both unable and unwilling to try to reign them in again.<p>

The funny thing was, though, Kuvira wouldn't say she was happy as she stewed in this flood of emotion. Part of her was overwhelmed, frightened by the lack of control, and felt more disease-ridden than in love. Part of her yearned for some stability to balance out this outpouring of emotion. Part of her was scared to see how far Korra could take her, see how many layers Korra could peel back before she was disgusted by what she saw of Kuvira. For all Kuvira knew, the worst of her came out while physically intimate.

Moreover, though, she lost control. As exhilarating as kissing Korra had been, she had lost control. And, as much as she had accepted that deserved happiness and felt remorse for what she had done, she was still unsure about relinquishing all control. Because if Korra knew just how much Kuvira loved her, everything would change.

It was, perhaps, for _that_ reason, that Kuvira was so eager to see Korra again. To finally put into words all these feelings.

When the day came, Korra straddled one of Kuvira's chairs and went right ahead and said it, "So, last time we met, we…for lack of better terms, fucked with our mouths." Beat. "Let's talk about that…"

Kuvira rubbed her hands together. "I really like you."

Korra sighed. "Trust me, the feeling's mutual." Korra glanced up at Kuvira. "Really mutual. My problem is just…I refuse to lose what we had when things were still platonic. I'm trying to be responsible about this and well, let's face it, Asami needed me after she lost her father, but you—you _need_ me. I'm your guide, I'm going to try to get you out of jail early, and we cannot risk any of that for anything, whether we just hook up or become girlfriends." Korra bit her lip. "Can we risk that it'll all turn out okay?"

For the first time in so long, Kuvira had no idea what to say.

On one hand, Korra was giving her exactly the out for them to brush that kiss aside as nothing more than overflowing desire and end it at that. It would mean that Kuvira could still deliberate on telling Korra about how deep she felt emotionally for her. She could observe Korra more, figure everything out. She could have her control back.

On the other hand, though, what if this was her only chance to fully realize their love? What if this was the window fate had given them, and she was about to slam it shut?

Kuvira exhaled. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"I mean, I might visit less often and you'd think it was personal or maybe I'd start to feel trapped with the twenty-eight years or…I don't know. All I know is I thought getting with Asami was the best idea in the world, and I thought we'd never break up, but then we did, and I really don't want any breakups in prison."

"You don't really want this, do you?"

"No, I do! I really do, I'm just trying to be pragmatic. You're in prison."

It was pragmatic. It made logical sense. If this had been Baatar, she would've been fine with it. So why did it still hurt?

But, this wasn't Baatar. She couldn't mourn it the way she had been able to with Baatar. She just needed to move forward, focus on something else.

Incidentally, that something was looking right her right in the face.

Kuvira paused for a moment. "Wait, so you—you're going to try to get me out of prison early?"

"Yeah. Parole, pardoning, whatever."

The best choice for her future would be to let that kiss sink into her vault of good memories. They didn't need physical affection to realize their love. Korra hadn't said that she didn't like Kuvira. Kuvira could hold onto that.

It was the only thing that made sense.

They both stayed silent for a moment, feigning eye contact until Korra brought them back.

"Wu really wants to visit you, so I have to chaperone that encounter," Korra said.

Something about what Korra said relaxed her. New, painless thoughts took to the forefront of her mind.

She'd been wondering how long it'd take the royal man-child to come crawling to her.

"Aww, I wouldn't hurt him that badly."

"Oh come on, he has the kind of face people want to punch. Then, when he talks…you've come a long way, but leaving you alone in a room with a flirtatious Wu is last on the list of things to test."

"In all seriousness, what does he want to talk about?"

"I think he wants to hear you explain the constitutional monarchy thing. I proposed what you wrote up for me at the last world leader meeting, and it honestly sounds like they want to do it." Korra smiled. "Wu is actually the biggest proponent. He loves the idea of doing nothing political."

"Good to know I still have some political savvy."

"Yeah. You know, if I do get you out early, it's probably going to be in conjugation with this."

Kuvira raised a brow. "So I'd be an advisor or something?"

"Yup."

In other words, what she would've become if she hadn't stepped up at Wu's coronation. "The irony is nauseating."

Korra shrugged. "Not as nauseating as staying in here for twenty-eight more years."

Point taken. "You'd really rally that hard for me?"

"I believe in you, Kuvira. No amount of badly timed make out sessions will change that."

Kuvira chuckled. "Good thing." Another moment of silence. "I don't know how you're doing it."

"Doing what?"

"Believing in me as much as you did." She smiled to herself. "That, and believing that I'm actually worth waiting years to be in a romantic partnership with."

"Oh come on. Baatar Jr. had a good run."

More silence.

"And we all know how that turned out."

Korra bit her lip. "How…did that happen, exactly? I mean, back then, I chalked it up to you being absolutely insane, but it's not much of an excuse now. There must've been something else to it."

Kuvira raised an eyebrow. "You really want to know?"

Korra shrugged. "You're nice to look at, but I think I like you best when you're talking."

* * *

><p><em>"Please just take them," Baatar said as Kuvira walked over to the entrance to the Colossus, ten minutes before they were set to invade Republic City.<em>

_Kuvira didn't turn around to answer, his little issue not worth that much of her attention. "Baatar, I don't have time for your nonsense."_

_"You're not being practical!"_

_She spun around to face him, said, "How is carrying around a bag of walnuts practical?" and turned around to continue toward her destination._

_"We don't know how long this will take, and you won't be leaving the Colossus until President Raiko surrenders. It could take hours, days even."_

_Kuvira scoffed. "It won't take _days_. Raiko and Avatar Korra aren't stupid."_

_"My point is we won't even be in Republic City until dawn and you won't have eaten since seven the day before. What use will you be if you pass out?"_

_"Have I ever shown signs of being easily faint? Where is this even coming from?"_

_Baatar grabbed her arm, and she stopped. "I'm just looking out for you."_

_She took her arm back, not violently, just with enough force for him to know she wasn't going to run away. "You have nothing to worry about. Everything's going according to plan."_

_Baatar sighed. "You haven't been right since Zaofu. You've been colder, more distant, more ruthless. It's not you."_

_"Nothing has changed," she muttered, and she kept walking._

_Masaru and Shi, the two operators who'd be working up top with Kuvira, passed by. Baatar grabbed Masaru. "Take these, and give them to your superior when she needs them."_

_Masaru looked at the bag, but didn't open it. "I don't know what's in here, sir."_

_Kuvira looked right at Masaru. "Leave the nuts, Masaru."_

_"Take the bag, Masaru," Baatar said._

_"He's not your commanding officer. Leave the bag," Kuvira said, suddenly gripping onto her cool. _

_Baatar pushed the bag into Masaru and pushed him on his way. "Just trust me."_

_Baatar looked back to Kuvira, but she was about done with him. "I'll see you after the negotiations."_

_She went ahead walking._

_"Kuvira…" She kept walking, eyes forward, trying to focus, but damn Baatar cut her off just before the entrance of the Colossus. She had to watch as her engineers and soldiers entered without her. "Please, if there's something bothering you, you can tell me." Baatar grimaced, and for a moment, Kuvira thought he'd start crying. The singe of anger began to fade. He removed her left glove and kissed her knuckles, kissed the engagement ring. "Be safe. I love you."_

_"I will."_

_He smiled as he slid the glove back on. "I'll see you on the other side. Maybe you'll share a drink with me afterwards?"_

_"Maybe."_

_He snuck a peck on the lips, and they parted._

_A minute behind her engineers, Kuvira entered the Colossus and using the spool of metal cable she hadn't used in years, she shot upwards alone. She thought about Baatar, and what the hell his problem was. They'd already discussed this, and Kuvira had decided not to eat in order to eliminate any potential risk that piloting the Colossus for as long as she'd be doing it could result in motion sickness. Now _that _was being generously paranoid. What, had he been thinking about it all day since they made those decisions? He had to be worried about something else. Why had he been so sentimental about this? He hadn't been that way when they parted ways in Zaofu, and until recently, everyone thought that'd be the last piece of the Earth Empire. _

_She let the thoughts go when she reached the top level and unclipped the spool. At that point, she could easily assure herself that she'd have the upper hand. No, she'd be _dominating _this takeover. Baatar's Colossus was everything she could've ever dreamt up and more, the weapon was a force to be reckoned with, and Zhu Li had run off with the fake information. There was absolutely no way they'd see this coming. Even with the greatest plans in the world in motion, they wouldn't be ready. This may even be the quickest negotiation of the campaign._

_She stepped onto the captain's level, surrounded by Su's _beloved_ meteorites now turned into turning balls. She cracked her knuckles one fist at a time and rolled her shoulders and neck out. _

_"Masaru, Shi, everything set here?" she asked her operators._

_"Yes, ma'am," Masaru answered._

_"Is everyone accounted for and confirmed up here?"_

_"Yes, ma'am," Shi answered._

_"Let's finish this," she said as she pulled the first few levers, starting the mecha suit's first few steps._

_Everything went according to plan: she destroyed any outposts that could've alerted Republic City sooner and with the weapon demonstration, Raiko surrendered. She anticipated that the negotiations would take half an hour, a majority of that time filled with bridging their physical distance. _

_Kuvira remained standing, scanning over the army, for ten minutes before taking an empty seat between Masaru and Shi. Both of them had removed their helmets._

_"You really think Avatar Korra will just hand herself over?" Masaru asked Kuvira._

_"If she doesn't, I believe we're equipped enough to finish the job."_

_"Is that what you're going to do, when you get her? Kill her?"_

_Kuvira crossed her arms. "I'm still mulling it over. With the Avatar State, there may be no prison in the world that can hold her. I need another gauge on her, see if she's healed since we last fought. If she is too powerful, then death is the only answer. Plus, the next Avatar will be a citizen of the Earth Empire, and we may be able to use that to our advantage."_

_Masaru snorted. "You might as well adopt the kid."_

_"Perhaps."_

_Ten more minutes passed._

_"So…" Masaru said. "Can I have your bag of walnuts?"_

_She sliced a bit of one of the ball turners off and started playing with it, the first real hunger pang passing as Masaru mentioned the damn nuts. "Go ahead," she said as she took a swig from her water bottle._

_Masaru leaned on his hand. "Su never taught you the metal choke, right?"_

_Anger Kuvira had been suppressing ever since Su tried to assassinate her boiled back up, and she squeezed the bit of meteorite, classlessly imagining it was Su's head. "No, she didn't."_

_Out of her peripheral vision, she watched as he tossed the walnuts into the air and caught them in his mouth. "For the record, I think what she did was really fucked up. I mean, who kills a kid they practically raised, and brings their other kids along to watch the show? Good luck in the in-law department."_

_Talking about Su was the absolute last thing she needed right then. Baatar was right, that Su's move had thrown her off, and it was showing. It hadn't just been trying to kidnap and execute Wu, seeing her parents in the swamp, and nearly killing Zhu Li and Opal—she was losing control. She had to reign back in. If she ever wanted to blow off some steam, it'd have to be after this victory. She couldn't think about in-laws and Baatar and any of that right then._

_"Shut up, Masaru," she said in a deadpan, not even making eye contact with the former Zaofu guard._

_Another twenty minutes passed. _

_"Baatar would've radioed in when he arrived at Air Temple Island. What's taking him?" Kuvira demanded._

_"It's not an abnormal airship, is it?" Shi asked._

_"No."_

_"He wouldn't have forgotten?" Masaru asked._

_"If he did, the soldiers on board with him wouldn't."_

_"I'd give him a few more minutes. There's always some delay," Masaru answered._

_She waited another fifteen._

_"That's it!" she exclaimed, shooting out of her seat. Masaru startled, the walnuts flying everywhere. "Where the hell is Baatar?"_

_She glanced down at the floor as she moved to her captain's landing. "Masaru, pick those up. Shi, radio Baatar's airship."_

_Another soldier on Baatar's ship picked up. She could practically her the guy's racing heartbeat, and his voice shook as he stalled. Shuffling sounded their incompetence, their panic, as they handed the radio off. _

_"Kuvira, this is Raiko." Raiko? Why the hell was she talking to Raiko? "What kind of game are you playing? You told me you would send Baatar over with your terms, and then he doesn't show."_

_Kuvira's stomach dropped. "What do you mean 'he didn't show'?"_

_If this wasn't just some lower end screwup, Baatar could be—_

_"According to your people, he's not on the airship."_

_A discomforting mixture of anger and worry-induced nausea swirled in her gut. _

_"If he's not on the airship, then where is he?"_

_A burst of static revealed Baatar's voice, at last. "Kuvira? It's Baatar. I've been captured. My airship was ambushed and I was taken by force. Korra refuses to release me unless we back down and leave the city."_

_"Are you injured?"_

_"I'm fine."_

_The nausea dissipated, leaving only the throngs of anger at his refusal to learn how to defend himself, at how useless those years of whipping him into shape just so this wouldn't happen remaining._

_But, this also explained why she hadn't seen Avatar Korra yet._

_"Is the Avatar there with you now?"_

_"Yes, everyone is here."_

_Everyone was there. _Everyone_, meaning Su, the Avatar, all her little team. The opportunity of the campaign._

_She metalbent a switch so Baatar couldn't hear her. She turned to Masaru. "Find out where that signal's coming from."_

_There had to be some way to bend this in her favor. They had Baatar, surely to gain some edge on her. Baatar wouldn't talk; he had mental strength going for him, and he was far too loyal to her to give up anything. Plus, they clearly weren't torturing him, so what tactic remained?_

_"Listen to me," Baatar began to say. "If you try to take Republic City, the Avatar will never let me see you again ... and I refuse to live that way." Avatar Korra very well could be bluffing, but…what if she wasn't? What if she really could keep Baatar, the one man who truly loved her, away? Could she live with that?"Forget the United Republic; we have our empire! We have each other! Let's go back home and get married. The only thing that matters is that we're together for the rest of our lives."_

_Flashes of memories with Baatar flitted through her mind: him handing her a cup of tea the night Su took her in; him always being her metalbending dummy, even when she got to master level; all those cute little gestures he'd do as a teenager to get her attention, only for her to be too focused on work to notice; how happy she was when he said he wanted to join the campaign; their first kiss, first time making love, the proposal—their happy ending was dangling in front of her. _

_Yet, could she really ignore what he wanted her to sacrifice? He wanted her to sacrifice the Earth Empire, all the people she had vowed to protect and care for. The United Republic and its people had been jolted into existence by war, and now they were ruled by a slimy politician who, all things considering, could've prevented world disasters that stretched back to Harmonic Convergence, but refused in order to follow through on his own agenda. She couldn't abandon these people, she couldn't disappoint her soldiers and followers, she couldn't—_

_She couldn't choose between Baatar and the Earth Empire._

_"We've identified their position," Masaru said._

_She had to choose._

_She tried deep breaths, but it was no use. Hands over face, she sunk to her knees, unable to bear it. This may be the only opportunity to get rid of Avatar Korra, to end this fight right here without any other deaths. Baatar had already chosen their love over their empire, chosen the wife over the children._

_The children…_

_She thought about the little girl with the tattered clothes and bloody knees who had sat out in the rain begging for the parents who would never come back and answer her cries. She thought about the little boy from Lungzhi who had called her his hero just for feeding him. She thought about the mothers, the fathers, the grandparents, the older children carrying infant siblings across their chests who had told her that she saved their lives. She even thought about people like Bolin whom she had loved like a little brother, maybe even like a nephew or son, who credited her with changing his life. The Earth Empire was united, but it was fragile. It needed to be nurtured, it needed a leader who was willing to put everything aside for its well being. So many lives had been lost and desolated because no one wanted to put their personal lives behind the good of millions of people. Kuvira couldn't let that happen again. She wouldn't abandon her children._

_Even if it meant she had to sacrifice the love of her life._

_Even if it meant Baatar wouldn't live._

_She got back to her feet. _

_"You're right," Kuvira said to Baatar. "This city isn't worth sacrificing our life together." If she was to give her sweet Baatar anything, she'd make sure he knew he was loved before he died. "I love you, Baatar."_

_She had to just do it. She had to do it before she faltered, and anything more than the pure, unfiltered love for her nation made her question it. She was a leader before she was a lover. This was the only choice for her nation._

_She fired the weapon at the warehouse, the love she had for the man inside quivering, burning in her chest._

_She watched as the weapon destroyed—obliterated, really—the warehouse. She tried not to think about when the beam hit him, or whether he'd die from the beam itself or the shrapnel. It suddenly occurred to her that he might be dying in there, not dead, that there would be nothing but a phantom love and confusion, betrayal, in his heart as he died. She thought about how she had just indirectly killed the one person who had loved her unconditionally. _

_(She thought about how in his last moments, he could turn to Su and find maternal comfort, the love she could never get.)_

_She thought about how alone she'd just made herself._

_She squeezed her eyes shut and inhaled, a lump rising in her throat, emotions threatening to break free. For the first time in so long, she could feel herself teetering on the edge._

_But, she couldn't cry. She couldn't show weakness, not now. Today was about completing a mission, saving her people, defeating the Avatar. She had to be the Great Uniter, and once she made it to victory, she could give the grieving fiancée a locked master bedroom and a bottle of baijiu. Until then, she had to block it out, forget about it, remember who she did save._

_She exhaled, opened her eyes._

_It was almost as if she could feel the life leaving through her eyes._

_"Masaru, do you remember when we helped Su fight Zaheer and the combustion woman?" Kuvira asked, voice even, eyes dead ahead._

_"Yeah," Masaru answered._

_"Do you remember how you described to me what happened after I saved the Avatar's father, how Zaheer gained the ability to fly? We talked about how upset he seemed at the combustionbender's death, and yet how quickly he got over it." Kuvira paused feeling every drop of adrenaline and determination flooding through her veins. "Making sacrifices." She snorted. "It was the one thing that murderous bastard got right."_

* * *

><p>Korra readjusted her position, but didn't stray from looking right into Kuvira's eyes. "That's a skill I've never understood, being able to compartmentalize love and grief away enough to be able to function well."<p>

"According to those who saw your fight with Zaheer, you did a pretty good job of it."

"No, that was just the Avatar State. It…removes you a few levels from human emotion."

"Then what went into sacrificing yourself for the airbenders?"

"See, that's all me being sacrificed. What I can't imagine is sacrificing someone else. I'm talking just letting someone on the sidelines die, like what you were going to let happen to Baatar Jr. For me, that'd be like throwing Desna into Vaatu to destroy him. No, not even Desna—it'd be like throwing Tenzin or Mako into Vaatu to kill him. It's just—I don't know. A big part of me knows that sacrificing someone else, even if it is for the greater good, isn't the solution I should ever reach, but another part of me wonders…well, what I would've done in your shoes."

"You would've found another way. You would've backed down."

Korra raised a brow. "What do you think you would do now?"

Kuvira closed her eyes. "I want to say I would've backed down, but…part of me doesn't think I would've. You told me some time ago that you view me as a past version of yourself, and over the years, I've been looking to you as a model for what I should eventually become." She crossed her arms. "I can imagine you backing down, but I still can't see me doing it."

Korra nodded. "Still a little lost, I suppose."

She remembered Iroh's words. "Do you think I've been lost my whole life?"

"If I had to guess, I'd say the only time you weren't lost was during the very brief time during the campaign after you'd cut Su out of your life and before you started killing and coercing to bring order. Before the tough decisions."

"Why then?"

"Well, besides it being when you knew what you wanted and had a moral compass to guide you, I feel like, hearing all these stories about Baatar Jr. and Varrick and Bolin and all the Zaofu guards you recruited…you guys kind of sounded like a family. That's why I like it when you tell me stories about the campaign—even stories during your psycho period still reflect that family. The way you still talked to Masaru says a lot to me. Honestly, Su went on saying how your soldiers were all forced into the army, and I'm sure some were, but that's really not the impression I get. I like thinking that you took your abandonment issues and turned into this vaguely mother figure to your army and the Earth Kingdom citizens."

Kuvira looked to Korra. "That must be where the parallels between us end. I've never seen you as very motherly."

"Maybe that's an _age discrepancy_."

Kuvira smiled. "I'm three years older than you. Not a perfect frame for making age jokes."

"I will make all the age jokes I want. Also, I really want to meet Masaru. Anyone who spills an entire bag of walnuts onto the floor of a twenty-five story death machine in the presence of his kill-happy boss without peeing his pants is my kind of guy."

Kuvira shrugged. "I should write to him, see how he's doing. He really did love being a guard, but I doubt after what I gave him he went back to that kind of work. I hope he became a cop or something. Kid needed to keep busy."

She was talking to Korra, but she wasn't mentally there. She thought about that idea of her compartmentalizing her pain in order to be productive. As much as she'd dropped a lot of bad emotional coping mechanisms through her time in prison, she was dead certain that she hadn't lost that one.

After all, she was compartmentalizing her pain over not being able to get together with Korra and focusing on getting out of prison early.

She wondered if there was a better way to do it.

* * *

><p>Korra wanted more than anything during the entire meeting after kissing Kuvira to stop that beautiful woman's quiet, doubt-filled talking with her own mouth, but that kind of recklessness—she had to admit it—was at a level she wasn't even sure her at age seventeen would've had. The risks were enormous, and what could be lost went so much further than visitation rights. They had been blindsided by passion the first time, and were only lucky that Arnav took so many shifts. Sure, she could talk herself down all she wanted, say that she could use seismic sense to know when a guard was coming so they could separate, but it was far too risky.<p>

She refused to gamble with Kuvira's freedom and sanity. The former Zaofu guard had already come so far, and there was no way Korra was going to let all that hard earned change get clawed apart by solitary insanity. If anything was emerging more and more lately, it was that Kuvira had so much potential, and especially as the humbled, wise version of herself she was developing into in prison. Satisfying a bit of physical desire wasn't worth all that. Even the idea of consummating the love Korra wasn't sure even existed between them wasn't worth that. Until the day Kuvira walked out of that prison as a free woman, Korra wouldn't pull another move. Something told her that Kuvira had more restraint, perhaps even more buried fear of intimacy that she was tucking away from Korra. Part of Korra could believe that Kuvira was a bit relieved when Korra took away the pressure of a physical relationship.

But, something still bothered Korra. She still wanted to make Kuvira happy, feel loved. Maybe even feel loved in a romantic, or at least more than platonic way. But, how could she possibly do that? Every romantic gesture she'd pulled for Asami did have an aspect of physical affection at some point or another, and there were, well, more options. Korra was as much committed to those four walls as Kuvira.

The idea came to her after waking up too early in the morning, with the sky still dark. She was running through the prison, trying to find the warden's office, within an hour.

She narrowly avoided colliding with Arnav once she reached the right floor.

"Hey Korra," he said, rubbing his eye. "It's not your visiting day, is it?"

"No, that's at the end of the week."

He furrowed his brow. "Do you just…hang out here now, then? Figured you'd have more important Avatar stuff to do."

Korra nodded. "I sort of do. Where's your boss's office?"

"Boss of the COs or the warden?"

"Warden." Arnav made a sluggish wave of his hand and started walking. "Are you okay, before I forget?"

Arnav smiled a bit. "Hung over, but I'll survive."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-two."

"They let you start out young here, don't they?" Arnav nodded. As they passed office doors, Korra couldn't keep the basic questions back for long. "What's Kuvira up to today?"

Arnav shrugged. "Honestly, prison life just seems boring. When you're not here, she just reads or exercises all day. Sometimes writes letters, dances, listens to radio programs."

"How do people in solitary not get stir crazy?"

"No idea." He studied her. "Are you going to ask the warden if you can get Kuvira outside?"

"Do you think they'd do it?"

"I mean, are you talking on a regular basis or just once?"

"It'd be great if it could be the first, but I'm aiming for the latter."

He shrugged. "I'll vouch for her if you need any backup, but do your thing." Arnav stopped in front of a door conveniently labeled WARDEN. "Actually, mention me. It'll help."

Korra gave him a look. "You little narcissist."

"Warden's my dad," Arnav said with a wink.

Kuvira would make friends with the warden's son. "Really?"

He grinned. "No, I'm just screwing with you. But he does like me."

Korra waved goodbye to Arnav and knocked on the warden's door. A voice beckoned her inside, and she soon stood facing the warden, a guy who looked eerily similar to the green-eyed, black-haired, athletic-built Arnav that Korra almost second guessed that joke.

"What can I do for you today, Avatar Korra?" the warden asked in a tired sounding voice.

Was there a graceful way to put this? "Could Kuvira come outside next time I visit her?"

The warden raised a brow. "You want me to put one of the best earthbenders in the world out onto a slab of grass and expect her not to escape?"

"I don't think she's proven to be very dangerous."

"I'm sorry, Avatar Korra, but I cannot be too careful. Do you know how many prisons over the years have let seemingly harmless prisoners into those situations and had convicts escape?"

"But it's not a favor you're doing her! It's a basic human right. People aren't meant to stay inside forever. Why don't you give your prisoners outside privileges? Can you imagine what it's like to not see natural light for _years_? How can you expect anyone undergoing that punishment to ever return to society well adjusted and ready to atone? I'd be _out of my mind_ if I were them."

"The Great Uniter is in this arrangement as per the decision of the world leaders, not me."

"It's your prison. You have the right to grant her privileges. Hasn't she been a good prisoner? Doesn't she deserve just this, one time outside?"

"Avatar Korra, I cannot risk her escaping."

"She won't try to escape!" The room went silent, and Korra's best move was to look to at something on the wall before she said something stupid. "So…the risk is that she'll use her bending to escape, right?" The warden nodded. "So take away her bending." Korra recalled how awful Kuvira had described the type of chi blocking the guards did here. Having Kuvira paralyzed wouldn't make the moment good. "What about handcuffs?"

"The only reason those handcuffs worked on Kuvira before was because she was injured. Chief Beifong told me this when Kuvira was first being booked."

"Fine. Chi blocked. If she was chi blocked, could we go outside?"

The warden nodded; the deal was made.

Yet, this officially was too much compromise for Korra.

The moment would be ruined if Kuvira was hardcore chi blocked like the guards did around here. She could try to bend the rules, but the warden would probably be anal about the procedure being kept in place; the guy wasn't about to have another cover up on his hands. Would she be able to convince a guard to go softer on the chi blocking, just take away bending like the Equalists had done? She'd been able to walk and move then.

No, she wouldn't even need to convince a guard.

"I have one more request." She paused. "Could your guard Arnav be the one to go out with us?"

The warden furrowed his brow. "Why Arnav?"

Korra shrugged. "They like each other. Kuvira's actually got quite a conscience, and if there's anything besides me deterring her from attempting anything funny, it's the fact that she'd be betraying her favorite guard's trust."

There was a moment of silence before the warden went on to discuss more logistics.

"Don't tell the world leaders about this," was the last thing the warden said to Korra on her way out. _Avatar card played well._

* * *

><p>By the time the clock struck five, Kuvira had lamentably accepted that Korra wasn't coming that week. She blocked it out as best she could, but she couldn't help but wonder if accepting that the kiss had been a one-time thing had ruined something between them. She tuned into a probending match on the radio and tried to relax.<p>

Arnav popped in two minutes into the match. "Hey, I gotta take you out for a bit."

Kuvira sat up, furrowing her brow at him. "For what? You've never taken me out before."

"Annual checkup. Basic prison protocol."

"Why didn't I get one the first year?"

"You did when they were treating your lightening burns."

Kuvira got to her feet to join Arnav. "Cuffs?"

"Chi blocking. Don't worry, it's not as intense as what we had to do for the lockdown. They're just worried because, you know, metal medical tools and stuff."

"Right," she exhaled.

She turned her back to Arnav, and like a child dreading a shot, she managed to relax only up until his fingertips made contact with her skin before tensing up. But, Arnav still did what he had to do, and she didn't immediately collapse afterwards. A little shaky in the first few steps, sure, but she managed. Arnav slipped a pair of handcuffs on her.

"C'mon, we have a little walk to get to the infirmary," Arnav said as he opened the cell door.

As they walked through the empty halls, they filled the air with small talk: "how's your week been's," "any plans this weekend's," "how's life's." To her own credit, she hadn't slept that well the night before and was still a little out of focus, but it was not until they physically missed the fork that led to another part of the building to realize something was amiss.

"If you're trying to break me out, stop now before I have to hurt you," Kuvira said.

Arnav opened a door that led outside. "Fortunately for me, that's not on the itinerary."

He lightly pushed her outside, closed the door behind them, and took off her handcuffs. "How is this not letting me go?"

"Because you can only go in this area."

What was that supposed to mean? What the hell was she supposed to do in the yard?

It dawned on her the moment she saw Korra, a large blanket in hand and smiling.

"You…got me outdoor privileges," she said, drinking in the scene as if someone would wake her from the dream any second. "How?"

Korra nodded. "Call it using the Avatar card with the warden around here. You talked about how devastated you were to not see the stars for years, so I figured, well, if I can't," Korra stepped closer, "_physically_ show you how much I care about you, this could work."

Kuvira swallowed down the lump in her throat. "No one's ever done anything like this for me before."

"Well, someone is now, so live it up."

Korra flicked and set down the blanket and the two of them got comfortable, watching as the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Kuvira had almost forgotten what a sunset looked like, and how vivid the colors bleeding across the sky truly were. In that moment, Korra's hand on hers, shoulder to shoulder, looking up as the sun's yellow faded to pink faded to a blue sky, nothing could've been more perfect. Whereas she'd kept herself sane thinking about the past, she allowed herself to seep into the present. She was really going to see the stars again.

"I bet the skies in the Southern Water Tribe are incredible," Kuvira said.

Korra smiled. "Yeah, they're stunning. But, this is amazing too. Guess I got lucky."

Kuvira smiled. "I would've believed you if you said you had to bend away any clouds."

"I definitely could've done that, but the universe pulled this off all on its own."

The wind blew through Kuvira's hair, tickled her skin. The uneven grass scratched and caressed her skin depending on the spot. She was cold, but being connected to the earth again—it was like waking up from a fever and regaining clarity, finally able to make sense of the world. She'd put every inch of exposed skin to the ground, memorizing the texture. Deep down, she knew that part the reason she felt this way was because the chi blocking had worn off and she was lying on a giant slab of earth, but there was no need to try anything out in that moment. She could lie in the grass, the earth beneath her, and everything would be perfect.

As Korra ran her hand through Kuvira's hair, Kuvira slid her index fingernail into the dirt, collected a bit under the nail bed, spread the powder onto her fingertips.

"I never saw you as the cover-yourself-in-dirt kind of earthbender," Korra commented.

Kuvira smiled a bit. "We all go through that stage at some point. Call it a primal comfort. I forgot how much I miss dirt, earth, all of it." She closed her eyes for a moment, feeling her heartbeat reverberate off the earth, feel the earth's heart beat back. "Outside." She rolled the dirt between the pads of her fingers. "I even forgot how soft earth can be."

Korra chuckled. "You're a deprived little earth monster, aren't you?"

"Do you mean depraved or deprived?"

"Little of both."

Arnav approached the two of them, Kuvira jarred back into the real-life context of this moment: that she was lying in a prison yard, and Arnav was there as a prison guard.

"Hey, so I don't mean to interrupt the dirt fest down here, but the watchtowers are made of platinum, and you'd have a way better vantage point. My buddy just radioed down, says he needs to rush home and asked if I could take his shift. You want to change the scenery?"

Korra and Kuvira exchanged a look, collected the blanket, and followed Arnav, the cuffs back on for show.

He led them up a narrow, spiraling flight of stairs that led up to one of several watchtowers. The metal used on the structure was platinum, and it made Kuvira wonder if the entire prison was in fact made of platinum, or why they would've decided to just make this area out of platinum. Maybe to prevent metalbenders from staging a prison break by bending the outer wall?

The actual watchtower platform was a decagon with a circular little guard's room in the middle of it, metal railing lining the edges. While Arnav opened the guard's chamber door, Kuvira peered over the railing. They were several hundred feet up, with an unobstructed view of the valleys beyond the prison. For a moment, she wondered where in the United Republic this prison was for there to be so much untouched land around it.

She turned around and joined Korra on the blanket, now leaning against the guard's chamber wall. Arnav was right about the better vantage point; one look out at the stars, and she was dazzled.

She hadn't seen so many stars out at once. They stretched out like gems sewn into a blanket, like a city from afar. Constellations sparkled as clear as a child's drawings, stars clumped together to form waves in the sky. The white and yellow lights settled effortlessly against the black, black sky. It was almost as if they were lying in nothing, the same peaceful nothing she found while meditating. She didn't think it'd be possible to encounter a more beautiful night than what she'd gazed up at the night of the fire drill, but there it was. Memories flooded back, of nights where she'd offer to take the night shift on the guard just so she could peek up at the starry nights. She could still feel the ache of losing this image, as if she hadn't fully processed what was happening. This was so much more than sitting outside and seeing the sky.

For a night, maybe even just a moment, she was free.

She broke her gaze on the sky to look to her right, at Korra.

She was free, and it was all because of the woman next to her. If there was ever any doubt that she loved Korra, it disappeared right then, looking at the beacon of hope on a starry night.

They snuggled in closer to one another, absorbing each other's heat. Kuvira craned her neck up at the stars, captivated once again. She watched the stars twinkle, took Korra's hand and interlaced their fingers, felt Korra's pulse reverberate off their bodies.

"This doesn't feel real," Kuvira mused. "None of this really has. I've almost convinced myself that nothing outside my cell exists. I feel like when I wake up tomorrow morning, I won't believe that this actually happened…that I actually got to breathe fresh air and look up at a real sky." She paused. "That I laid in your arms."

Korra gave Kuvira a little squeeze with her free hand. "Seeing you as happy as you are, it's all worth it."

They looked back to the sky, just in time to watch a shooting star streak through the sky.

The last time she had seen a shooting star had been when she was a child. It was only a few weeks since moving in with Su, and she'd jumped into her bed to ease a nightmare. Su hadn't been sleeping well herself; the two of them had headed out to her meteorite collection and practiced a bit of metalbending. It had been the first time she got the meteorite to budge. Su gave her a big smile of encouragement, remarking how excited she was to have a little earthbender girl. While looking up at Su, Kuvira had caught the sight of a shooting star. She had wondered years later if it was possible to be that happy again.

"Spirits, why does everything I do to you make you cry?" Korra joked. Kuvira swiped away whatever visible tears had fallen, causing Korra to laugh. "You got dirt on your face."

Korra wiped the dirt off, and nestled in a little closer, foreheads resting.

"Korra?"

Korra looked her in the eye. "Yeah?"

Heart pounding, hands shaking, Kuvira whispered, "I think I love you."

Korra cracked a smile, squeezing Kuvira's hand, the grip strong, but still a tiny bit moist. "I think I love you too."

Their lips touched for the briefest of moments, barely brushing past one another before both of them pulled away, returning their attention to the stars.

"Just wait until you can see Sozin's Comet with me," Korra said. "Katara said it was incredible," Korra said.

Kuvira didn't even have to calculate to see how much hope there was for the future.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Alright, if you're not reading this chapter for the first time, you'll note that the physical Korvira scene has been replaced by a more romantic Korvira scene. It's not that I didn't like that scene nor want to take Korvira any slower, but it seemed both more realistic considering the prison situation as well as more meaningful to have this scene follow chapter 18. For anyone who really liked that makeout scene, I'll include it in my deleted scenes after the story is finished. :)

Also, serious thank you to GinkoToothed for editing part of this chapter and letting me use/be inspired by the stargazing scene.

But, for those who'd like to reflect on the rewrite, did you like the romantic angle better? Did the scene with Korra and the warden feel too rushed? I also tried to improve the segway between Korra and Kuvira's conversation and the Colossus scene, so was that accomplished?


	20. Tough Decisions

**A/N: **Note: this chapter has been edited as of 2/16/15.

* * *

><p>"King Wu's set to arrive in forty-five minutes," Arnav said as he dropped Korra off in Kuvira's cell. "Be smart, ladies."<p>

It had been a few weeks since Korra took Kuvira outside, and the intimacy factor of Korra and Kuvira's "relationship" had become a joke among Kuvira, Korra, and Arnav. Although the young guard had expressed apprehension about them avoiding any sort of affection under his watch, he'd come to trust that they weren't going to risk anything for so much as a peck on the lips.

Plus, there were more pressing matters with Wu. Matters that dug deeper than the pit of dread and anxiety growing in Kuvira's gut as she thought about seeing Wu again. (Even if she wasn't the one directly responsible for Wu's attempted kidnapping.)

Kuvira kept her gaze on the table. "We don't have enough chairs."

"What?" Korra replied.

"We only have two chairs, but three people."

Korra studied the area. "Guess so." Her gaze flitted up Kuvira. "Are you concerned about this?"

"Should I go take a shower?"

Korra bit back a smile. "You're overthinking this to a dangerous degree." Korra put a hand on Kuvira's shoulder. "Yes, go take a shower, but do it to calm your nerves, not to prove your worth to Wu."

Korra grabbed a book and jumped onto Kuvira's bed, and Kuvira stepped into the bathroom.

* * *

><p>Kuvira gave up a chair for Wu, leaving her sitting in the floor between Wu and Korra. It seemed like the right thing to do, considering her soon-to-be position in life.<p>

"For the record, Kuvira, you still look nice, even in prison," was the first real comment Wu made.

In all honesty, Wu didn't look, well, any different. He still wore his expensive clothes, complete with that earring his people had pinned onto him as some kind of royal broach, gel in his hair, and a blissfully oblivious saunter in his step. On an eerily similar note, she had put up her wet hair into the kind of tight bun she used to wear as the Great Uniter.

"…Thanks," Kuvira said, careful with her words.

Wu angled his chair more towards Kuvira. "So, let's get real. Are you going to be writing this constitution for the government system Korra talked about?"

Kuvira glanced up at Korra. "I don't know if I'm qualified."

Korra shrugged. "Did you write all the contracts for the Earth Empire?"

"Yes."

Korra exchanged a look with Wu. "I think she could do it. At least outline what should be in there and then we could revise it in the meetings."

"Good. Now, tell me about what _I'm_ doing in this new Earth Kingdom," Wu said.

Kuvira noted that Wu didn't mess around as much as he used to. She wondered if it was because of maturation or just a more elegant manifestation of the guy's narcissism.

"You'd be a figurehead," Kuvira answered. "You'd represent the Earth Kingdom not so much as actually rule it. Your duties would include people work—touring around the kingdom and interacting with citizens, attending charity events, hopefully doing community service yourself. You'd be a huge proponent of national holidays and anything that involves the kingdom feeling like a single unit. You'd be developing patriotism."

Wu wrinkled his brow. "Isn't that uniting everyone for takeover, patriotism? I think we should be discouraging war for a while."

"No, that's nationalism. Patriotism is focusing on the love of a country and being willing to stand up for one's country if called. Call it internal strength that leads to projected strength as opposed to directly focusing on projected strength and the enforcement of it."

Wu paused.

"Okay, I can't take this seriously while the Earth Kingdom's tyrant turned savior is sitting on the ground."

"I'm not sharing a chair with you. If you're so unhappy, come on the floor with me," Kuvira answered.

"No!"

Korra rolled her eyes, pulled her chair out, and pulled Wu and his chair out equal distance. "Come onto the table," Korra said.

Kuvira took a seat on the table, but kept hunched over. It felt too weird to be looking down at the Avatar and a king.

Kuvira looked to Wu. "Does that answer your question?"

"How do I interact with the prime minister?"

"You would be a part of the ceremony to usher him into power. Put your approval on him."

"Can I disapprove of him?"

"No. Like I said, you're a figurehead."

"So why bother approving?"

"You're the symbol for your country. You're spreading interest and cooperation on behalf of the people of the Earth Kingdom to the prime minister."

"How much power does the prime minister have?"

"The position would be similar to what the president does now for the United Republic except his power is held in reign by the parliament. So, war decisions, final approval of laws, appointment of honors, basic leader jobs."

"And…where does the prime minister come from?"

"He would either be a member of parliament or someone else who has the merits to rule."

"If he's chosen by parliament, how do you assure that the people in parliament will make the right decision?"

"You assume that your own people can all choose someone who's worthy of it. Obviously, the people who will be nominated will be people of enough merit that a state wants them as a representative."

"I don't suppose you'd want to be the first prime minister?"

Kuvira looked Wu right in the eye. "I can't think of anything more disastrous."

"What if parliament elects you, though?"

"Then I'd decline. My redemption isn't through big government politics. Offering this system is the most I should do. Besides, you'll have the government in place before I'm out of prison. If you don't establish something with a strong grip soon, it'll all just plunge back into chaos. I know the world leaders aren't any less concerned with keeping order than when I took charge."

Wu glanced at Korra. "What if I want you to be prime minister? As in, I won't approve of anyone else."

"Then you're sacrificing your entire nation to be petty and childish."

"Don't you see? You're the only person right now who has the connection to the Earth Kingdom that can bring anyone opposed to a new rule over to our side. You still have a bunch of supporters. It'd be the easiest way to transition."

"All it would do is dig up bad memories. I destroyed a city."

"You destroyed a city in another nation."

Kuvira huffed. "It doesn't make a difference. Zaofu, for starters, would _never _join. I'm sure there are other states who feel the same way. Either way, I'm not meant to be a leader. I never was. I forced myself to do in order to help my people. Given a choice, I'd rather help the Earth Kingdom by snuffing out criminals and extremists like what I'm sure you have Korra and the airbenders doing. I'm done with politics."

"There's nothing I can do to change your mind?"

"No."

Another pause. "What if I pardoned you of all your crimes, got you out right now?"

"You aren't ready for a prime minister now. You haven't even formed a parliament."

Wu made a face that Kuvira could only assume was meant to portray exasperation. "I'll pardon you and let you out when we need you. So, a year or two."

She couldn't help but marvel at this guy. Wu had just become the difference between getting out of prison in her twenties and fifties. Could she…really turn that down?

_If it means saving you from the devil's agreement, yes._

Because it was more than putting herself up for being assassinated by the people still angry about all the Great Uniter business. It truly, _truly _was about how she didn't want to become a world leader. She'd lost whatever had given her the confidence to do it the first time.

_You're not worthy._

Kuvira looked to Korra, long, silent, the way they looked at each other back when everything was platonic. Korra broke the look and nodded.

"I'll give you an answer by the end of the week," Kuvira said to Wu.

Wu nodded, and went back to looking at Kuvira. "I forgot to thank you for showering for me."

Kuvira blushed. "I didn't." Wu grinned, Korra bit back a smile, and there was no wiggling out of it.

Change of topic.

"Do you want to outline a constitution or not?" Kuvira asked.

* * *

><p>As soon as Wu left, Korra and Kuvira got out the basics: Kuvira didn't want to be prime minister, though couldn't give more of an answer than that she didn't want to be a leader again; Korra told her that it would be worth it to get out early, and that even if the world leaders forbade the shift of power, Wu wouldn't just throw her back in prison; Korra insisted to know the real reason Kuvira didn't want to take up the position; Kuvira said she didn't know. They ended the conversation with Kuvira agreeing to an answer by the end of the week, after she gave it a good thought.<p>

That night, when Arnav came with her dinner, she stopped him.

"Am I your last prisoner in this block?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Care to join me?"

Arnav hesitated, but entered the cell, closing the door behind him. "Is…something wrong?"

Kuvira sighed. "Why were you such a fanboy for the Earth Empire?"

Arnav bit his lip, and took his sweet time answering. "I mean, I—I wouldn't call myself a fanboy, by the way. I was a devout supporter. Would I have killed for your autograph and to shake your hand? Of course. But, well, I supported you because I have family that still lives in the Earth Kingdom, and do you remember that huge massacre in a town called Qin?"

Kuvira nodded. "A group of non-Red Lotus affiliated terrorists blew up a hospital."

"Yeah, well, I lost my cousin in that attack. There was a huge public funeral, and even though you had just started reuniting the kingdom, hadn't even gotten to that town yet, you stopped what you were doing and came to Qin. You spoke at the public funeral, and well, I was there, and somehow, you gave me hope. You made me think that there was a way to stop that kind of senseless violence. You…do you remember? You came door-to-door to all the mourning families and offered your condolences. I was there, but I was too shy to say anything. I had never seen a leader do that, put so much attention to people who lost their lives. My family became your supporters from that day and never faltered. There have been some pretty good leaders of the Earth Kingdom, but no one put as much care into it. I don't know if you kept doing that throughout the campaign, but it really impacted me."

If Arnav hadn't mentioned it, the memories would've stayed hidden behind everything else that came before and after that day, but it became crystal clear then. It had been an absolutely devastating attack, the bomb having gone off in the children's ward of a hospital, killing fifteen patients and three nurses. They had been cleaning up the towns around Ba Sing Se, and the towns were hurting, but not devastated. The original members of her inner circle had fought with her against it, but she had insisted it was the right thing to do. She could remember hating herself for justifying it with giving off a good image for the world. She could even remember one snippet of that speech, how she had taken full responsibility for the tragedy even though there was nothing she could've done.

"Why'd you ask?" Arnav asked.

"Wu said he'd pardon me of my crimes and let me out within the next few years if I accept a position as leader in the new government system we're developing for the Earth Kingdom."

Arnav's eyes brightened. "Do it! You'd make an amazing leader."

She put her face in her hands. "The last time I was a leader I became a dictator. I oppressed people, I killed people, I destroyed lives. I can't allow the world to brush aside all the people I hurt just so they'd have an easy leader. What will the history books write when they see a former dictator become leader again less than five years after her war crimes?"

"But, that's the thing. You know what you did wrong. You can rein yourself in, and I'm sure the world leaders would be keeping you in check too. I want you to do it because I can see how great a leader you can be. I can see the woman you were when I met you in you now, and I can't imagine a better person to help the Earth Kingdom again. That could be your redemption, your legacy. It's such a long shot that they'd let you take up the position, so if they give it to you, take it. It's your dream, isn't it? To unite the Earth Kingdom and make it prosper?"

"I'm not the right person. It just—it's too complicated. There are too many feelings involved. That's not a good way to begin a new government system."

"When has a new system ever been incorporated smoothly? At least you'd be strong enough to keep it on track. Not like those slimy politicians."

"You don't get! None of you get it! I'm not—this isn't what I'm supposed to do. I'm cheating my way out of my sentence. I—"

Arnav's radio went off, something about a scuffle in cell block A. He looked back to Kuvira with a sad face. "I have to go deal with this. And the only way you'd be cheating yourself out of your sentence would be if they release you before you learn anything. You're far past that." He got up. "By the way, your friend Masaru got confirmed to visit you this week."

Masaru would understand. Yes, he was just the guy she needed to see.

He understood what went on behind closed doors.

* * *

><p>She'd only started writing to Masaru within the last few weeks, but Masaru had been eager to exchange letters, had requested to visit her within a single set of letter exchanges. And, if she were honest, she was excited to see him. Through all the visits, no one from her true old Zaofu life, her friends while she was a guard, had come. Nerves still prickled, but she was excited.<p>

The moment Masaru walked into her cell, she hugged him. She couldn't even say what came over her—her best guess was some part of her that was still a Zaofu guard at heart had clung to her fellow guard like a long lost sibling. He laughed as he hugged her back.

"Who are you and what did they do with the Great Uniter?" he joked.

She pulled away and said, "My name's Kuvira and the Great Uniter was killed in a spirit weapon accident."

"Well, soldier Masaru was killed in a rather unexpected Colossus explosion."

"Did you get jail time?"

"One year. I got parole for good behavior."

She thought back to what she had read in the newspapers. "Why didn't you say you were forced to join? Those soldiers didn't get jail time."

"Because I wasn't forced into it. Look, it wasn't that bad. A bunch of us ended up in the same prison, so we formed a prison gang and no one really bothered us. Everyone especially leaved me alone." He glanced around her cell. "I can't tell if this is better or worse than what I did."

"For me, it's better than being in the general population. There was a fire evac some months back, and the prisoners started a riot just so one guy could try to kill me."

"You didn't fight back?"

"I was chi blocked. I'm considered dangerous." She paused. "Has Su invited you back to Zaofu?"

"No, but it's okay. There's no going back to being a guard. Right now, I work a basic minimum wage job, but I'm trying for better work. It's just hard because I can't do jobs that involve a lot of physical activity."

Kuvira furrowed her brow. "What do you mean? You were one of the best metalbenders and fighters I knew."

Masaru smiled a bit. "Not so easy with my legs."

Kuvira's breath caught in her throat. "Your legs?"

He pulled up both his pant legs to reveal fake limbs underneath. "Shi and I got caught in the explosion. The cockpit kind of protected you and Korra, but we were pretty exposed, and high up. I got the worst of it—mangled my legs. He broke some bones, but he's alright now. But, it was kind of a blessing—I got to serve out part of my sentence in the hospital."

She couldn't get her eyes off Masaru's legs.

He…He lost his legs?

He lost his legs working for her.

She looked back up at Masaru and began to feel vaguely ill.

"Kuvira…?" he said, voice softer, brow wrinkled. "Are you crying?"

She then began to feel the burn of the tears in her eyes.

"Masaru…" she said.

"What?"

He didn't get it. Spirits, he didn't _get _it. "Look what I did to you."

"Did what?" He paused. "Are you talking about my legs?" She broke eye contact and squeezed her eyes shut. "Kuvira, no, that's crazy. Stop."

She wiped her face off with both her hands. "This is why I can't become a public figure again. Power corrupted me, and everyone else has to deal with lifelong consequences. I can't come out better than I was before. It's not—"

"What are you talking about?"

She forced herself to look up at Masaru. "Wu wants to get me out of prison within the next few years if I accept the position as prime minister."

Masaru's expression was blank. "What's a prime minister?"

"Like a president who's brought in and balanced out by an elected council."

"Whoa, that's huge! Congratulations, Cap!"

She shook her head. "Why are you excited for me? How could you ignore all the horrible things I did enough to want to give me a second chance?"

"Honestly, I don't think you did anything that bad. Being willing to kill Baatar was pretty scary, but everything before then seemed fine to me."

"The weapon. The foreign bender purge. The killings…"

"We were in war, and I know it was the guys running the reeducation camps—"

"Labor camps."

"Labor camps who were taking it to the extreme with the fire and waterbenders. You had those guys executed. You never supported the racism."

"Yeah, but I killed them. Masaru, come on. You _know_ how bad it went. You can't possibly have not realized this."

He exhaled. "Look, I know I'm just a well trusted soldier. I've been that ever since Zaofu. I've never been the one making the decisions, or the one who feels the real weight of consequences. Yes, I watched you coerce some states into joining you, develop the spirit vine technology into a weapon, nearly kill the Avatar, and actually kill high ranking Earth Empire officials for grave mistakes, and it hurt to watch, and I was sad that you ended up so hardened. And, based on all that, you'd think that yeah, I believe power corrupts you. But, you know what would be different between being the interim president and this prime minister gig? You've learned restraint, and you've learned how to be humble. If there was any indication of that, I got it from the fact that you are treating me the way you used to back in Zaofu. You've changed. Spirits, you've done what I thought was impossible: you've gained your humanity back. If Baatar had died, if you had won that battle through that kind of massacre, we wouldn't have been having a funeral for just Baatar, it would've been for you too. But, look at you: you aren't the Great Uniter anymore. And, as Kuvira, you could change so many lives stepping up."

"How do you not blame me for what happened to you, you personally? You didn't even want to man the cockpit. I insisted, because of how close I felt to you, how much I trusted you. I trusted you, but I obviously didn't give you any reason to trust me. I let you nearly die."

"You were blown sky high out of a twenty-five story robot. Name one thing you could've done to prevent the Avatar and her friends from blowing up the Colossus."

"I could've stopped! I could've not needed the United Nations. I was out of my mind then! I probably wouldn't have even mourned your properly! Why aren't you letting me shoulder the blame for not taking care of the people I vowed to care for?"

"Because I was a _soldier_! I _pledged my loyalty to the Earth Empire_. I _believed in you_. I accepted the fact that I might have to die to bring order. Even Shi, who you constrained into the army, eventually grew to believe in the cause as much as the rest of us. Everything got out of hand and you started taking a very end justifies the means approach to it, but it doesn't mean that we all faked the loyalty and faith in you. You haven't been shouldering the guilt of everything the Earth Empire army did this whole time, have you? I thought you said Avatar Korra had really been helping you."

Kuvira broke eye contact. "She is."

Masaru sighed. "Please, Kuvira, for our seven year friendship, through all the insanity we went through, don't blame yourself for what happened to me. I'm fine. I served my time and now I'm getting my life back on track. That's what everyone's doing." He put a hand on her shoulder, and she shivered under his touch. She hadn't let Masaru this into her personal bubble since they were guards in Zaofu. "And, once you take that early plea out of here, you'll get to do the same thing. But, in a usual Kuvira fashion, you'll be doing it in a much more grandiose manner than the rest of us. I'll be voting for you."

"I wouldn't be voted in."

He rolled his eyes. "Then I'll support you from afar." He paused. "So, have you told Avatar Korra about me? We met when we were trying to get the airbenders back, but I doubt she remembers me." He paused. "You know what I remember most clearly about that fight?"

"What?"

"How we both got blown off a cliff by that combustion bender in the first five seconds of confrontation."

Kuvira smiled. "You never picked up fighting all that well."

Masaru smiled back. "Hey, I don't have legs. You can't insult me anymore." He paused. "By the way, if I'm the first one to ask, can I have your Earth Empire uniform and sell it for big bucks? Wu hasn't given much relief to disabled veterans."

"How much would it sell for if I told you it's ripped up, covered in sweat, blood, and vomit and hasn't probably hasn't been washed in two years?"

"Assuming it's all your bodily fluids, it'll sell for more. There are weird people who idolize you."

"That's…not encouraging, but sure, take it once I'm out."

"Glad to have you back, Kuv. Even if you are a weepy mess."

* * *

><p>"The truth is, I may think I deserve happiness, but I don't think I deserve adoration or a place back in the public sphere," Kuvira admitted to Korra when her deadline rolled around.<p>

They sat on Kuvira's bed, backs against the wall, leaning onto one another.

"So you're going to decline Wu's offer?"

She sighed. "I don't know. I feel like it's wrong to decline that offer, and it's not like I don't want to get out of here early. Of course I do. But it doesn't feel like the right way to do it." She turned so she was facing Korra. "But, then there's you. Us."

"A few years is a lot easier to swallow than twenty-eight."

"And what about us? We've been saying a whole lot about love, but what does it really mean if we can't be together?"

"It means we have a non-physical relationship until you're released."

"And you'd wait that long?"

"Of course."

Kuvira looked away. "No, I don't want you to be tied up as much as I am. Even if it is only a few years, you should be out with other girls, having your needs met. You're not in jail, I am."

"Did you ever think that I don't want to be with other girls?"

"But I don't want to hold you back." Kuvira paused. "How about this: you have my blessing to see other girls if you feel the need, and if, when I'm released, you still want to be with me, we'll be together like normal girlfriends."

"That's not a terrible idea. Wu's estimating a few months to an end point at five total years in prison so…about two and a half more years. Depends on how bitter the world leaders are feeling and how well he—well, _we_ can talk."

"And you'll still visit?"

Korra's eyes lit up. "So you'll do it?"

There was still a knot in Kuvira's stomach, but what choice did she really have? "If you convince the Earth Kingdom I'm worthy, I'll do whatever I can. Terms are five years, anyway."

"Guess I'll have to start preparing you for reintegration back into society."

"Don't freak out if the world leaders shut you and Wu down in five seconds."

"Are you kidding me? I already have Eska and Desna in support. This will be a cinch."

Even if part of her was hoping it would be shot down in the world leader meetings, she smiled for Korra.

Being able to make more memories like that night stargazing, to be with Korra outside of this prison cell, would make it all worth it.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Alright, not too many edits from the version I posted up before (in which I took out the sex scene), but more smooth, I hope. (and I kind of wanted to keep in the Wu shower joke)


	21. Risky Betting

**177 AG, Winter**

"It's almost 178, and I still have no idea how to be a prime minister," Kuvira said as she paced the short distance of her cell. "What are you doing? Why aren't you helping me like you said you would? What if being in here destroyed all my social skills? What if I become a puppet leader like every other idiot the Earth Kingdom has had rule them?"

Korra sat up from her spot on Kuvira's bed. "You don't spend every day freaking out like this, do you? I'm pretty sure that's killed people, or at least caused major medical problems."

"That's not the point!"

"Yes, it is! Of course you should be thinking about what'll happen once you're out, but it also doesn't mean you kill yourself worrying. What do you think will make you feel better?"

She put her head in her hands. "I don't know. I didn't feel this way when I became the interim president. I just knew what I needed to do and went for it. I adapted to whatever challenges I didn't know directly how to deal with."

"Then do that."

Kuvira gave Korra a dirty look. "The last system was a bit flawed. If you recall, it resulted in _super weapons_."

Korra put her hands out in defeat. "Okay, okay, not the perfect method. Well, you've spent the last almost three years reading history books. What did those leaders do right that you should emulate, and what did they do wrong that you should avoid?"

"That's the problem, though, Korra. No one has attempted this system before so we don't know what makes for a good leader within the system."

"I thought you said you were basically going to be a president. So, simple: don't become Raiko."

"It's not that simple. Politicians can start out with every intention of serving the people, but there's always other forces at play. When I was a dictator, there wasn't anyone but my word to follow so I had the power to keep everything on track and help the people. But, with parliament and the looming fact that I need to appease whichever new group of representatives come in every five years, what if that corrupts me?"

Korra raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you tell me that you don't want to stay in for more than one term? Just keep that in mind and just work to help the people."

"What if they make me serve for more than one term? What if I go back to that crazy devotion to the people like when I was uniting the Earth Kingdom?"

"I don't think within the new system you could pronounce yourself empress again. Nor do I really believe that you would want to become empress again. After all, you're actually the head of the kingdom."

"What if they elect idiots to parliament?"

"Yeah, but didn't the constitution say that everything has to be signed by the monarch before it becomes a law? Well, Wu trusts you a lot, and will probably trust you more than the houses, so you have leverage there. Besides, it is about balance, so I don't think the parliament will be automatically taken over by idiots. Didn't you write out that there are requirements for even being allowed to be nominated to run for house chairs?" Kuvira nodded. "Seems like a pretty strong system. And, well, of course there will be politicians, but just keep a level head, which I will help you do, and everything will be fine."

Kuvira exhaled, pausing. "And what about being in the public eye like that?"

"You already did that as the Great Uniter."

"Yes, but I also threw dissenters into labor camps."

"Then…don't throw dissenters into labor camps?" Korra sighed, and grabbed Kuvira by the back of the shirt before thrusting her down to sit beside her. "I'll admit, it's not easy when public opinion is low, but you have to remember that people always want to blame someone, and they forget how much work goes into being a world leader. It doesn't mean you don't take constructive criticism when it's needed, but you also need to take the poll numbers with a grain of salt." Korra wrapped her arms around Kuvira. "Not everyone's going to like you, but honestly, I'd only be really concerned if _I _like you. Maybe some of the Beifongs and your former soldiers."

Kuvira smiled. "Do you still like me?"

"I guess so." Korra squeezed her. "You know, if you want to go back in Wan Shi Tong's library, or to go visit Iroh, we could take a Spirit World break."

"You know, next time we do go the Spirit World, you should come through the Republic City spirit portal and I'll come in by meditating. That way…"

Korra laughed. "We wouldn't have to climb up to the library?"

* * *

><p><strong>178 AG, Spring<strong>

Kuvira took a deep breath, relaxing herself as best she could as she sat on a chair in front of the mirror of her main room, thread taut between her fingers. Especially now that she often saw Wu once every few months at random, she'd taken a more keen interest in not looking disheveled. The tweezers they'd given her didn't have a great grip, so she preferred using threading as a primary shaper, then using the tweezers to clean up any stray hairs. She began the back and forth motion of the thread, savoring the familiar bite of the string.

"Kuvira!"

For someone who used to pride herself on being calm in any and all situations, hearing an unfamiliar voice call her name gave her quite the scare. So much so that there was a horrible moment in which Kuvira swore she'd threaded a solid chunk of her right eyebrow off.

As she scrambled to check symmetry in the mirror, two familiar faces jumped into the picture.

"We thought you'd either be crying or exercising," Wing said.

Kuvira set down her thread and ran her index finger through her eyebrows. No damage done, thank the spirits. "Doing either of those for three years straight would kill those tougher than me." She put all her beauty supplies into their little box and stuck them away in the bathroom. "I gotta admit, I thought Huan would come visit before you two. I'm not expecting an Opal visit for another twenty years, going by the Beifong woman tradition. What's up?"

Wing and Wei exchanged a look, and Wei spoke up. "Don't take this as us forgiving you because it got pretty crazy between all of us, and, you know, it takes some contemplation. But, we need you."

"It's the best kept secret in Zaofu that you're the best statistician in Beifong residence," Wing said.

There was an Aiwei joke in what Wing said, but Kuvira wasn't sure if Wing meant for her to laugh.

Kuvira studied the twins, and their intentions finally surfaced. "Earth Rumble LXXXIV is soon, isn't it?"

The twins nodded. "So we wanted to make some serious cash in the pools this year," Wei said, leaning onto her table. "And we'd be idiots to ignore the fact that you've accurately predicted every probending and Earth Rumble tournament outcome for the solid five years you were a guard."

She raised a brow. "Give me a single good reason I should guide your betting."

They exchanged a look, and for a moment, Kuvira thought the twins would actually hunker down and say because deep down, they cared about her, that they were some weird form of family, and family did family favors.

"You can't go to commissary, right?" Wei asked.

"No."

"What if we brought you…candy, instant noodles, varri-cakes…"

"Baijiu?" Wing suggested.

"You two couldn't sneak alcohol in here," Kuvira said.

"Is that what you want?" Wei asked.

"No! Guys, come on, I don't want anything like that."

She paused, waiting for the twins to get it. They didn't.

"Now, do you guys still keep the log with all the fighters' stats?" Kuvira asked. "I need a refresher." Wing pulled a large stack of cards out of his jacket pocket and set them on the table. "Give me an hour. Turn on a game if you want."

One of the twins turned on the radio, a sports announcer's prattling filling the air as Kuvira worked through a tournament bracket. She'd never tell the twins, but this mental exercise was exactly what she needed. Lately, her mental exercise had involved reading in Wan Shi Tong's library for hours or teaching Korra how to actually play Pai Sho, and her brain was ending up much like her muscles: stuck at a certain goal but not improving from a lack of diversity.

"Who's hosting this year?" Kuvira asked as she slid fighters' cards around the table.

"Chu," Wing answered.

"He have a favorite?"

"No one major. Generally speaking, everyone's putting their money on the Dragon."

Kuvira spotted the Dragon's card and scanned it over: 6'3", average build, young, known for launching his opponents so high that they'd land in the crowded areas of the audience.

He'd just started fighting then.

He would seem like a good contender to win, especially with so few earthbenders able to work with the attacks on their base. But, there was also the matter of the Catgator, a guy who'd been participating in the tournament for years; a good-looking guy who had legions of adoring fans as the kind of sheer strength moves that crowds loved. Guy was also known for changing the consistency of the arena floor in order to trip off his opponents. She set the Dragon right below the Catgator in the bracket.

"You don't think the Dragon will win?" Wei asked.

"They'll throw the Dragon in after a couple amateurs go at it, and he'll win continuously, working through the remaining guys. When he faces off with the Catgator, he'll be tired, giving the Catgator the rest he so-called deserves according to the people spewing yuans into the system. If the Dragon wins, it'll be a good old-fashioned hard worker moving through the ranks, and if Catgator wins, it will be a win at last. The Dragon's fighting style is taxing, so I'm betting the Catgator." She put up a finger. "_However_, the Hunter will win. Whoever beats the other at the semi-final round will be pretty self-confident, and the Hunter uses that to his advantage. Dust play, either way. Only those proficient with seismic sense are good at fighting against those types, and no one has been good at that since your grandmother."

She sat back so the twins could take note.

"You're still a terrible narcissist, aren't you?" Wei said.

She shrugged. "Let's see how much money you get, and then you can tell me."

The twins recorded Kuvira's predictions, and collected their stuff to leave.

"Hey Kuvira?" Wing said as they headed out.

"What?"

"Well, it's…pretty loud over at the house," Wing said. "Maybe we could come back here to listen to Earth Rumble LXXXIV with you. You could invite Korra if you want. Junior says you talk about her a lot in your letters."

She turned away from them, so they couldn't see her smile. "Sounds nice."

* * *

><p><strong>179 AG, Fall<strong>

They didn't come often, but on the weeks that Korra was too busy to visit Kuvira, she found her cell more suffocating than usual. When it got bad, when her from a few years back would've started having panic attacks, she meditated into the Spirit World alone. Part of her still feared the Spirit World, but if she was ever going to face her fears in the world once she was released, she ought to start working on the skill wherever she could.

That day, her single goal was to face her fear of entering Wan Shi Tong's library alone. Wan Shi Tong himself seemed to not hate her as much as he did most humans, and she'd been consistently adding to his metalbending collection for years then. The spirit didn't act kindly toward her, of course, but he hadn't bothered her yet.

But, all their interactions had also been with Korra.

She climbed through the forest area, her mind tricking her into the exhaustion her body wasn't feeling as she stood at eye-level to the windows. She made sure her latest manual was still tucked into her waistband, took a deep breath, and swung in through one of the windows. The landing was perfect, far more perfect than she thought she had the agility for, and she walked in through the main hall without missing a beat.

Wan Shi Tong swooped down within seconds.

"You again," the spirit said.

Kuvira bowed and pulled out the manual. "Today's payment."

He accepted the book. "The Avatar isn't with you today."

Kuvira shook her head. "She was busy."

Wan Shi Tong's eyes flitted around the room before boring into Kuvira. "What are you going to look at on your own?"

Kuvira felt about the size of an ant looking up at the owl. "I'm trying to read up more Air Nomad texts, trying to understand how to achieve an inner peace. Maybe look at some Earth Kingdom history books I haven't seen yet."

There was a moment in which no one spoke, and Kuvira feared the spirit would finally start attacking her. But, the owl looked past her.

"My Knowledge Seeker can help you," Wan Shi Tong said.

One of the fox spirits ran up and only started moving when Kuvira followed. It led her deep into the library, and it slowly began to dawn on her what it meant that Wan Shi Tong was letting her roam freely. Did he…trust her?

The fox led her to a dark room, that, with the flick of a lever, appeared to be a planetarium. "This is nice, but I'm looking for history books," Kuvira said to the fox.

The fox didn't budge, and eventually gave up, finding the books she was looking for on her own.

But, in all honesty, she wasn't sure what she was looking for. She flipped through book after book, stories about good leaders, bad leaders, fictional leaders, historical leaders, and everyone in between. She wasn't sure what she was reading for, and the words soon started bleed together. She set down the last war book she'd been looking at to rest her forehead against the shelf. What was she doing? She'd been reading books for the past year and it hadn't gotten her any closer to knowing how to be a good leader. And, spirits, she was going to be released in a little over a year. She'd lost all contact with the outside world, didn't know how to interact with anyone other than people who had to or sought her out. How on earth was she supposed to lead an entire nation, a nation that had sat in a void of power for five years?

She'd already failed her nation once with the best intentions in the world, so how was she supposed to improve the nation with half the conviction and none of the confidence of her former self?

Seemingly without thinking, she put the books back, left the library, meditated back into the physical world.

Was that, what she'd done back there even considered fearlessness, or was it just her being comfortable? At that point, it seemed like the only thing Kuvira had mastered—finding a routine and sticking to it.

She turned on the radio, flipped it to a news station, and picked up the latest book Korra had given her, some unofficial history of the Earth Empire.

The newscaster didn't get through one story before Kuvira had shut the Earth Empire book in disgust. She'd learned so much reading those books before, so why were they so meaningless now? Had she really learned all she could pick up from books? If books weren't a source of knowledge anymore, what was?

* * *

><p><strong>180 AG, Summer<strong>

"Do you consider yourself a natural leader?" Kuvira asked Korra as they sat in Kuvira's cell, another day only different than the others as the days dwindled down toward Kuvira's release date.

"Honestly, no. I turned into a pretty decent leader, but it took some major stumbling. I don't know if you remember the year of the Equalist movement or Harmonic Convergence, but I could've handled those situations a lot better. It's also a miracle that I got as far as I did considering how sheltered I was growing up." Korra smiled. "You're a more natural leader than me."

"Then I don't know how to trust my instincts anymore."

"That, or you aren't trusting your instinct to trust your instincts. I feel like you're assuming that everything you ever thought as a leader was bad, but it wasn't, and you secretly know that." She rested her hand over Kuvira's. "I don't suppose there's something else that you're afraid of, besides being a bad leader?"

"I don't care about being a bad leader, I care about not failing my people again. I'm afraid of taking them in the way I did when I was the Great Uniter. The scary part, for me, wasn't that I let them justify what I did. It was that I disregarded people who actually loved me for this abstract love and celebrity that came from having such loyal supporters. But, I don't want to stop loving them. It keeps me doing everything in my power to help them." She sighed. "How do normal leaders do it? Balance putting your loved ones or the people first?"

"Understand that love isn't something that should be applied to a people. You love the individual people within a group, but when it comes to the people as a whole, you focus on what will be good for the society. Sometimes, you have to be tough for them, not give them everything they want. You have to be pragmatic about it. You can't please everyone. But, you still maintain your connection with the people by actually going out there and interacting with them. In the end, though, as long as the issue isn't going to cost lives, you should always put your loved ones first. There was a great piece of advice Iroh once told Aang that he said might be able to help me too, and it was that power is overrated, that love and happiness is a fine choice."

Kuvira frowned. "If I'm supposed to pick love and happiness, why am I accepting this power?"

"Because as long as you keep reminding yourself that you're finishing the promise you made to the people of the Earth Kingdom, it isn't about power." She paused. "That's how you're thinking of it, right? That, really, you're just finishing the job you set out to do eight years ago. Finishing your own history book on a good note."

"How did you empower yourself after you were poisoned?"

"I reconnected with Raava when I went into the Spirit World to rescue some tourists who had been taken by the angry spirit vines. She assured me that she had been within me the whole time, and told me that I was more powerful than I thought I was." Kuvira nodded, not exactly expecting divine intervention. "You know, one of the wisest things Tenzin ever told me was that I'm not defined by Raava, and that I could find power within my own spirit. When Iroh said you were lost, I think he was talking about this. You hadn't found your own spirit within you."

"Do you know where to find it?"

Korra smiled. "I don't think it's some_where_ necessarily. But, you'll know it when you find it." Korra paused. "Hey, you still love yourself, right? I'm not letting you lose that, and I will throw you back into the Fog of Lost Souls if you forgot it."

She thought about the photos Su had sent her of her childhood. Sure enough, Kuvira had never been in any family photos, but there were a fair number of her with one or two of the Beifongs, several from her old apartment of her with her friends…seeing that happy young face, she did want nothing more than to make that child, that young woman proud, hopeful for the future.

"I'm just scared that this future isn't what I need."

Korra paused. "Think of it this way: once you're out of here, I can finally shut us together in a room and kiss you."

At least looking at Korra felt completely right. "What I'd give to kiss you right now."

"Less than six months now."

Kuvira took Korra's hand. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

* * *

><p><strong>180 AG, Fall<strong>

"Alright, we've officially made it to the one month marker," Wu said as they sat around Kuvira's cell, the guards having allowed a third chair to be brought in exactly one year before. Wu wiped his brow. "Finally. It's been exhausting keeping this plan in motion."

Kuvira and Korra gave him dirty looks.

He readjusted his seat. "Anyway, I'm going to announce that I'll be giving you a full pardon later today, get everything in motion. Hopefully, the press will sink into it, and your supporters will come out of hiding." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Honestly, the only people who really hated you were the Beifongs and the people who were sent to prison camps. Otherwise, most people still liked you." He muttered "unfortunately for some people" under his breath. "So, we'll start a wave of support for you. You'll be released in a month, and into Korra's custody. That way, we still give the illusion that you're under a strong watch from the world leaders. The next day, you'll participate in your first world leaders meeting." Wu looked to Kuvira. "Now, here is where it's absolutely necessary that you play yourself up. I'm going to announce to the world leaders that you're my first choice as prime minister, and you need to win over as many of them as possible. You know, schmooze it up, make them feel good, show how much of a not psychopath you are. You might have to fake it a little, but I trust that you're up for it."

Kuvira felt her chest begin to tighten. "I thought I was just going to sit quiet for the first meeting. What happened to that?"

"If you don't say anything, you're allowing everyone to make their own impressions. Some may get it right, but a lot of those leaders need a nudge in the right direction," Korra answered. "You're charismatic. Don't worry."

Kuvira took a deep breath. "Okay. So…are you assuming that they'll jump on board?"

"Yeah," Wu replied. "And after that, they'll probably want a prime minister in there quick, so I'll just schmooze parliament for approval, and hopefully have you in office in less than a month."

"A month?" Kuvira repeated.

"Yeah, we need a leader quick. Besides, it'll secure you and what you'll be doing right away, so less time leeching off Korra."

Spirits, wasn't it quick enough that she was getting out of prison, but to be sitting in a leader's chair, making decisions for an entire nation in less than a month after being released from prison? There was no way that could go well. She needed time to feel out what the Earth Kingdom needed before she could make or approve any major decisions. There—There was so much that needed to be done for the nation! She couldn't possibly do it after only a month out of prison. Besides, what would that month look like? If Wu was already hyping up her release, she'd be a celebrity by the time she was released. It wouldn't just be some abstract pressure to fix the nation, but many real people pressuring her to fix things as fast as possible. At least when she was the interim president, the hardest part, stabilizing Ba Sing Se, had been done in relative anonymity. She only gained a name for herself once she got into the groove.

"Are you sure about this?" Kuvira asked Wu.

"I've never been more confident in a political decision in all my life. Two months and you'll be rolling, Prime Minister Kuvira."

If there was one miracle in the world, it was that Korra and Wu hadn't picked up on how much blood had left her face nor how freaked out she was inside.

Wu suddenly put his hand on Kuvira's shoulder, and she cringed. "Also, if you could, make sure you make yourself up a _little _bit on your release day and practice a smile and maybe a crying bit, that'd be awesome."

Kuvira expected Korra to glare at Wu, but her eyes were fixed on Kuvira, worry creased into her brow.

"Don't worry, I'll be ready," Kuvira managed to say without arising suspicion from the king.

* * *

><p><strong>180 AG, Winter<strong>

Two days before Kuvira was released, and the night started with her lying wide awake in bed, staring at the ceiling with her heart slamming in her chest and ended with her waking from a pitiful sleep to vomit. Even when the physical symptoms anchoring her to the bathroom floor stopped, she didn't have the strength or willpower to pick herself up and drag her back to her bed. She was vaguely aware of the cell door opening a couple times, but no one came and interacted with her.

It wasn't until Korra arrived that someone finally came to get her.

"You know, you'd think being in solitary confinement would prevent you from getting sick. The guards didn't inform me of a food poisoning outbreak, so I'll have to try to figure this out myself," Korra said, a bit of lightness in her voice.

Korra scooped Kuvira up off the floor and carried her back to the bed. Kuvira watched as Korra went into the bathroom, turned the sink on, and returned with the water. She closed her eyes as Korra's healing water touched her skin, half listening as Korra muttered about there not actually being anything wrong with her.

"I'd be pretty blind to not know what this is about, would I?" Korra said as she sat on Kuvira's bed, put Kuvira's head into her lap.

Kuvira glanced up, then looked back out at the room. "I'm sorry."

"For what? You're scared that you'll fail, and overwhelmed by how fast everything is happening. You've developed a routine here, and it's only natural that you fear breaking it." Korra sighed. "I've noticed this ever since Wu announced that you were being pardoned, but I thought that maybe the excitement would cancel it out. I should be the one apologizing."

"I don't remember how to be a good person in the world anymore. I…I don't even think I know how to be a person anymore."

Korra ran her hand through Kuvira's hair. "It's all about taking it slow. You wouldn't believe how scared I was to return to my life. According to Toph, I even kept poison in my body to keep myself from it. Trust me, you're not alone, and I'll be there for you every step of the way." Kuvira took a deep breath. "What usually makes you calm down? Do you want a game plan? Encouraging words?"

"A game plan, maybe." She paused. "Not Wu's."

"Well, tomorrow, at nine am, you'll be released. I'll bring you some of my clothes to wear, and as for Wu's 'suggestion,' just brush your hair and you'll be good. If you wanted to make me happy and throw the people for a loop, you might even consider leaving your hair down. You'll get dressed, say bye to Arnav, get your uniform and whatever else you came in with, and we'll walk to my car. Honestly, ignore the press. I've been doing it for years, and it gets some nice candids. I'll get us over to Air Temple Island where you can meet Tenzin and the air kids. You met Tenzin before, right?"

"Briefly."

"Well, Tenzin's a very open guy, and we've been talking about you for a while. I think he may be very interested to see how much you've changed. So, you can meet one of the world leaders in a low pressure setting, we'll all have dinner, turn in for the night. The world leader meeting isn't until the afternoon, so we could do some sparring out in the yard in the morning, if you'd like. Then, we have the world leader meeting, and there are literally two outcomes: you'll be accepted as prime minister and we'll start doing stupid PR stuff, or they'll deny Wu his request, and you and I can just go around cleaning up any rises in crime rates. Either way, you're helping the people and I'm with you. Sound good?"

Kuvira exhaled. "It sounds better when you say it."

Korra took Kuvira's hand. "I want you to know that I'm really proud of you." She paused. "Also, are you down to be secret girlfriends until you're securely either the prime minister or not?"

Kuvira nodded. "I'm sorry I keep going back and forth on this confidence thing."

"Oh come on, you haven't been confident since you were arrested. What'll build that back up is some positive reinforcement. What I was building up is your self-worth, and I think that's doing okay." Korra smiled. "You know how I know your self worth is up?"

"How?"

"By the fact that you've agreed it's time to move into taking decisive action instead of serving a ridiculous sentence out to term."

"Ridiculous?"

"Five years and they never granted you consistent outdoor privileges. I stand with what I said."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Alright, and that ends the prison arc! :D Next, it'll be seeing how the world reacts to Kuv being out. I decided to try something different with the vignette structure. Did you guys like it? Does the characterization of Kuvira seem consistent? I was really trying with that distinguishing between Kuvira loving herself and feeling confident about the prime minister task, so I hope that both came across and wasn't beaten over your guys's heads.

Also, if you're curious, I have done some major/minor edits to chapters 19 and 20. All it really does is reflect a more romantic/emotional/spiritual Korvira over a more physical one. You don't technically need to read the new chapters as this chapter works with either version, but eh, you guys are Korvira fans, right, so it's more Korvira. So, if any of you beautiful souls want to go back and tell me if those chapters were improved as well as telling me how this thing went, I'd appreciate it. :)


	22. Blood, Sweat, and Iron

Kuvira slept more hours, and more peacefully than the night before, but still woke up early all things considering. She was unsure why, but she found herself more mindful as she went through a clipped version of her morning routine—a bit of exercise, stretching, a shower, and stylinher hair as best as she could when forced to air dry it.

Arnav and Korra walked in within an hour of her finishing a shower.

"Gotta say, it feels kind of strange to be handing you that stuff," Arnav commented as he tossed her a bag of her personal effects that were confiscated after her arrest.

Everything was somehow still there—the tunic, the undershirt, the gloves, the pants, the boots, and even the bra and undergarments she'd been wearing. The metal, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm surprised they washed it," Kuvira commented.

"It would be a health hazard if they didn't," Arnav replied as he shut the door.

Kuvira plucked the underwear out of the clothing pile, and Korra emptied the contents of her own bag onto Kuvira's bed. Korra had brought her a white undershirt, dark brown pants, black boots, and a heavy tunic with Earth Nation colors, and an olive jacket.

"Cold out?" Kuvira asked as she started slipping the pieces on.

"Yeah. It hasn't snowed yet in Republic City, but it's pretty cold."

"Thanks again for letting me borrow the clothes."

"Well, the alternative wouldn't be helping anyone," Korra said, glancing at the Earth Empire uniform.

It was a remarkable feeling to wear regular clothes again, something that went beyond the soft, higher quality fabrics against her skin. Maybe it was the symbolic nature of wearing a normal, non-uniform outfit in over five years, or maybe it was just the fact that Korra's clothes vaguely smelled like her. She found it absurd how happy just putting on these clothes made her, how big she smiled when she figured out that Korra's jacket had built in fingerless gloves like Korra always wore.

"You'll fill me in on all the technological and cultural changes from the past five years, right?" Kuvira said.

"I'm probably not the person to ask since I don't…really pay attention. I tend to be too preoccupied with Avatar stuff. I can try, though."

Once completely suited up, Kuvira collected her books and letters into the bag with her uniform, exchanged a smile with Korra, and met Arnav and a couple other guards outside the cell.

"Do I get my metal bands back? That stuff was custom-made," Kuvira asked Arnav.

"Yeah, we just needed to get you past a certain checkpoint here before we can give you all your effects."

Kuvira thought about what she'd discussed with Baatar. "Is there a ring with the metal?"

"No." Arnav frowned. "Should there?"

"No." _Thank you, Baatar._

"Seriously, you're going to give that uniform to Masaru?" Korra commented. "I really wanted to try sparring with you with it."

"Why?"

"It's custom-made to enhance metalbending."

"I'll give you the metal pieces. The rest is just worn and musty."

The guards walked Kuvira through the last bit of paperwork, Korra managed to snag a copy of Kuvira's mugshot, and a guard handed her another bag with the metal bits of her uniform in it. As they sat, waiting for proper clearance to exit the prison and go into the parking lot, Kuvira removed a metal armband, slipped it on, and closed her eyes, savoring that first reunion with her element. She pulled a slab off and bent it back and forth, back into a circle, tightened the diameter, flattened it back into its rolled out form. Nothing made her more hopeful than the assurance that metalbending still came easy for her.

She had to start thinking on the bright side to keep the anxiousness at bay. She was about to become a free woman, and she could still metalbend. Those were two significant achievements. Putting the metal strip back, she took a deep breath.

Kuvira looked up and caught Arnav's eye. She stood up, hesitated, but settled into a weak hug. "I can't thank you enough for all the kindness you've shown me."

Arnav smiled. "Thank you for letting me get to know you. It's been an honor." They pulled away. "And, by the way, I exist on the outside world."

"I'll keep it in mind."

With all her goodbyes done, Korra put a hand on Kuvira's shoulder and smiled. "You ready to get out of here?"

The knot in her stomach was still present, but it was time to face the world. "Yes, let's."

Kuvira took ahold of both bags, they regained a professional distance and Korra pushed open the door leading to the outside.

The first thing to overwhelm Kuvira wasn't in fact the dozens (no, maybe _hundreds_) of reporters, but the sun. Even in winter, the sun was shining, and it took two seconds outside to realize just how not accustomed to sunlight she truly was, screwing her eyes shut. As she attempted to adjust, her eyes burned and tears welled up. She swore under her breath, causing Korra to chuckle.

"You were right," Kuvira muttered to Korra, bringing a hand up to massage her face.

Korra smiled. "Gotta trust that Avatar wisdom."

She wiped the tears away and blinked a few times, eyes finally adapting.

As they strode through the lot, the reporters began to climb to the forefront of her senses. It was a sea of people, all asking a myriad of questions and snapping photos.

As Korra pushed them through the crowds, Kuvira listened to the questions, took in all the faces as they spoke and aperture bulbs flashed.

"How does it feel to be out of prison for the first time in five years?"

"Could you comment on King Wu's decision to pardon you, especially considering the nature of your relationship?"

"Does the Earth Kingdom condone what happened in Republic City?"

"What are you going to do now?"

"What did you do to warrant King Wu's pardoning?"

"Have you shed the Great Uniter?"

"What will you do in the Avatar's custody?"

"Kuvira!"

_Kuvira, Kuvira, Kuvira…_She'd forgotten what her name sounded like from anyone's mouth aside from Korra or Arnav.

"Can you drive?" Kuvira couldn't help but ask.

Kuvira had managed to stay quiet long enough to reach Korra's car, a maroon Satomobile that she was surprised to find wasn't some nickname for her polar bear dog.

She recalled something along the lines of "_Asami drove everywhere and I ride Naga_" being said in their prison conversations.

Korra snorted. "Of course I can drive."

They stepped into the car and closed themselves into their first bubble of privacy.

"If we get into a fatal car accident…" Kuvira wondered aloud.

Korra laughed. "You know what'd be worse, though? If we got into a car accident just bad enough to break your ribs all over again."

Kuvira cringed. "I'll take the first one."

Korra punched Kuvira's shoulder lightly. "You better not. I worked too hard for you to die in the car accident I may or may not cause."

She started up the Satomobile and shifted it into gear. Kuvira leaned back in the seat, looked as the mountainside passed by and glimmers of Republic City began to form. "What're we going to do now?"

"I was thinking grab some food and take our sweet time getting to Air Temple Island. No need to throw you right to the beasts."

"Sounds good." Kuvira took Korra's hand, matching up their fingers before shifting her hand over to fit in the spaces between her fingers. She caught Korra smiling, and smiled back. "So, what does this secret girlfriend thing look like to you?"

"Only what you're comfortable with. I'd love to spend your first night of freedom finally consummating our relationship, but I know we won't be granted any privacy. So, we could just keep up the same thing as what we've been doing in prison. If we time it right, you could sleep with me, and I'm sure the kids would give us a few minutes to sneak a kiss in. But, I'm cool with waiting as long as you want. At this point, if we do get caught, the major repercussions would be political. More you than me, keep in mind. Might uh, make people think I had some ulterior motives in getting you released and working with you."

"How long are we staying on Air Temple Island?"

"A week or so, probably. If Wu gets his way, we'd be transferred to a place around or in Ba Sing Se, and if not, we'd just be going wherever around the Earth Kingdom."

Kuvira bit her inner cheek. She'd spent more time than she'd like to admit thinking about that kiss and what it would be like to have Korra that close again, but this was just as fragile a time as when she was in prison. "I can bear to wait a week. Once we have our own doors to lock, we can reevaluate."

"Sounds like a plan." Korra paused. "What kind of food do you want?"

They ended up grabbing baozi and eating in the parked car. She tried not to make a big deal out of her first meal out of prison, but she couldn't hide how incredible eating real food made her feel, and Korra had enough smiles and comments to go with it.

"When are you going to stop paying for me?" Kuvira asked as they finished up.

"When you start getting a steady income."

"I can't just get a job now. Please, you'll stop with the favors soon, right?"

"I could totally give you a job. Five yuans a day to feed Naga."

Something about what Korra said struck her, and a few minutes in silence as they drove the remaining distance to Air Temple Island really set it down.

She had nothing. A uniform she could no longer wear, some metal, a few books, and some letters. No money, no house, no job. If not for Wu, Kuvira would've probably taken a grunt job like most of her former soldiers were employed in, and toiled the rest of her life in. Even if she knew that wasn't going to be her fate, it still sent a shiver down her spine thinking about it.

(Spirits, maybe she did want this prime minister job…)

While she an endless list of apologies to make, she would soon have a growing list of people to thank in the next several weeks.

* * *

><p>There was nothing the Air Nation could've done to make the scene that greeted Korra and Kuvira more terrifying than it was. She was intimidated enough to face Tenzin (was it Master Tenzin or just Tenzin?), but he hadsummoned his entire family to greet them. She recognized the young woman Jinora had grown into, and had vague ideas of who the other three kids were, but no names came to mind. Korra grew a huge grin, and Tenzin's kids were soon smiling back at her. They didn't move to embrace, but something told Kuvira that they didn't really need to. Kuvira was the only one coming here for the first time.<p>

"I can't thank you enough for your and your family's hospitality, Master Tenzin," Kuvira said giving a bow.

Tenzin nodded. "Anything to support someone's journey to regain balance and peace in their lives. I look forward to seeing how you've grown."

The older of the two boys—spirits, she recognized him, but what was his name?—spoke up. "Korra, is she wearing your clothes?"

Korra gave the boy a miffed look. "Meelo, it's not like they give you a starter package after prison. I don't mind lending."

Meelo made eye contact with Kuvira. "Do you remember me?"

Oh, spirits, did she. "You were the kid who made faces on the Colossus's windows." She glanced at the younger boy. "I thought you were your brother for a second."

Meelo scowled, and the younger brother laughed a bit. Spirits, time had really passed in prison. The kid plastered to her window was now a teenager, tall and lean, slowly growing the broad shoulders of a man. Now she had no idea who the actual child standing next to Meelo was.

"Did you get any prison tats?" Meelo asked, recovering quickly.

"Meelo, don't be stupid," Tenzin's other daughter said. "She was in solitary the whole time. People in low-security prison get tattoos."

"Ikki, Meelo, Rohan, don't wear her down. I still want to have a meaningful conversation with her after she's settled in," Tenzin said.

"But, Dad, I didn't say anything!" the boy who must be Rohan protested.

"What about Jinora?" Meelo said at the same time.

Jinora looked over at Kuvira and Korra and gave a half-hearted eye roll.

"C'mon, Ikki, let's go show Kuvira to her room," Jinora said, putting a hand on her sister's shoulder.

Jinora motioned Kuvira forward, and she and Korra followed the airbender sisters. Once out of earshot, Korra leaned into Jinora and said, "Thanks for the save."

Jinora smiled briefly. "No one deserves to have Meelo bombard them within their first hours back into society." Jinora looked over to Kuvira. "How're you doing?"

"Just like that?" Kuvira said with a furrowed brow. "You just—"

"Forgive you?"

Kuvira nodded.

"Regardless of whether or not your changed energy means a change of heart, I'll be polite to you. You're our guest."

"Changed energy?"

"Yeah. Before, you were sufficiently composed, but there was a lot of pent up energy, emotions being buried. Now, that negative energy is gone, but you've lost the composure and determination. It's purer, but less formed, if that makes sense."

Korra leaned into Kuvira. "That's good."

A moment of silence passed before Kuvira looked back to Jinora and realized she was looking at her. "Do you still want me to answer the first question?"

Kuvira shrugged. "I'm…somewhat overwhelmed. Almost numb. I don't know when it's going to hit that I'm out."

"Well, take it easy for now. No one expects you to be normal after one day."

She swallowed the comments floating around her head, about how they were airbenders, known for being more compassionate. That there were people out there who expected her to be normal within a day.

Jinora and Ikki left Korra and Kuvira to her assigned room, right across from Korra's at the end of the hallway. The room probably wasn't much bigger than her prison cell, but it was far more homey than it: wooden furniture with designs carved into them, ink paintings hanged on the wall, and a big window that overlooked an open area of the island. Kuvira set her bags down and sat on the windowsill, transfixed by the view.

"You forget how beautiful the world is sometimes," Kuvira said. "I can't tell which feels more like a dream—this or the last five years."

Korra took a seat on the other side of the window, straddled between the inside and outside. "Just tell me if there's anything we can do to help ease you into this."

"Can you show me around the island?"

Korra nodded. "Let's go."

Of course, Korra's idea of "let's go" involved grabbing Kuvira and jumping them both out the window, only saved by a blast of air.

"This is not becoming a normal thing," Kuvira muttered as they both lay on the ground, Korra taking a few sweet seconds to not let her go.

"Just getting your reflexes back." Korra smiled. "Maybe next time you can jump out of the way."

They unraveled and began the walk around the island.

"So, what exactly is happening tonight?" Kuvira asked Korra as they walked by a collection of lemurs grabbing fruit out of a feeder.

"Just dinner." Korra paused. "Bumi and Bolin might be coming by." Bolin had mentioned working for the United Forces. "Maybe a couple airbenders who're in town. Don't worry about it. It's not a celebration type thing. It's just an airbender thing to invite everyone over for food."

She had to admit that she'd like seeing Bolin again. Other than that, she really didn't know anything about Tenzin's brother or the other airbenders. She could guess that Opal wouldn't be there. It should be enough to let her take a deep breath and just start living, not worrying all the time.

"Oh, by the way, please resist all urges to apologize to everyone you see, regardless of whether or not you should apologize to them," Korra commented.

"I'm not that tactless," Kuvira snapped.

Korra laughed. "Watch, you're going to apologize to someone."

* * *

><p>Kuvira was far from culturally illiterate, but she had never experienced anything like an airbender dinner. In a way, everything about it was so simple<strong>:<strong> low wooden table, minimal table decorations, yet there seemed to be an rich, unique culture that engulfed every aspect of it, from the way they prayed before the meal began, to the designs on the windows surrounding them. Somehow, even the tables packed with Tenzin's family, various airbenders still in their red flying suits, and Bolin, there was still a strange serenity about it.

"It's good to see you again," Bolin said to Kuvira as dinner began. "You look good for being in prison for so long." Bolin stopped suddenly, blood leaving his face as Kuvira eyed him oddly, processing what he said. "I just meant that you look healthy but, you're paler than you were before. Not an insult."

Korra and Ikki snickered from nearby. Kuvira quirked a brow. "Do you still find me intimidating, after all these years?"

Bolin looked around as he spoke. "Honestly, I was terrified the entire meeting we had in prison. I'm just recovering…"

Korra grinned. "You should've been there when I smashed her into the ceiling with a mattress. It'd take away the scare factor in a second."

Somehow, Meelo had only caught that, and reached across the table to give Korra a high five.

"So," Bolin said. "What're you gonna do now? You can't go back to Zaofu, right?"

Kuvira shook her head. "I'm just working with Korra right now. We'll have to see." She paused. "How's Opal doing?"

Bolin looked away again. "I think she's good. I haven't seen her recently. We uh, broke up again." He stayed quiet after that.

"Hey Kuvira, did you get ripped in prison?" Meelo blurted.

Kuvira shrugged. "Ripped? I think of it as _maintaining_ my physique."

Meelo just stared at her for a moment. "What're we talking…?"

No one was paying attention to their discussion, so Kuvira figured it would be fine to roll up her sleeve for a moment. "The tone is good, but I couldn't maintain the muscle mass I had before." She rolled down her sleeve. "They don't exactly give you a protein-rich diet in prison."

"Did you lose your bending skills in prison?"

"Doubt it."

"Will you fight me, then? I never got to see Korra fight you once."

"For all you know, my entire fighting strategy might be cheap shots."

Meelo glanced at Bolin, who shrugged and said, "I mean, if she really did bash someone's nuts with rocks, you can pretty much expect infertility."

Korra snorted. "She'd never _actually_ use those moves. Too much _honor._"

"Expect a rock to the pubic bone, then." Kuvira chided.

Korra raised a finger at her. "I don't trust you on that, but I also don't want to see a demo."

Meelo studied them. "Wait, is that literally how she fights?"

Korra started laughing. "No Meelo, she's a big neutral-jing, throw-opponents-off-balance, targeted-attack kind of fighter. That, with an arsenal of sharp objects."

"Were you an assassin before you were a dictator?"

Kuvira shook her head harder than she needed. "No, I just…developed some more deadly metalbending forms."

"Why?"

"It was where the innovations led. You must know about that. Isn't it a requirement to get master tattoos to invent a new form of airbending?"

Meelo's head snapped over to where Jinora and his father were sitting. "Dad, what gives? What did Jinora invent to get her tats?"

Jinora glared at her brother. Tenzin continued, "Spiritual projection, Meelo," in a tired voice.

Meelo turned back to Korra and Kuvira. "What about you?" he said, referring to Korra.

Korra shrugged. "I've never had any interest in getting one, nor do I need to. I've already got the Master bit down, being the Avatar and all."

Meelo leaned toward Kuvira. "Wanna let me borrow one of your forms for airbending?"

"Don't think it would translate over well," Kuvira replied.

Before anyone else could get another word in, none other than Varrick burst into the dining room, him and Zhu Li carrying a projector. At least he didn't look different—flamboyant as ever, wore the same mustache, and Zhu Li hanging off him. Only difference he wore a wedding band.

"Kuvira, I heard someone gave you a hand in your jailbreak!" Varrick said, completely ignoring the dirty looks from Tenzin and Tenzin's wife.

"I was _released_ from prison," Kuvira replied.

"Yeah, _technicalities._" He and Zhu Li set down the machine. "Two things: one, I need the code to get into the safe I established while I worked for you—"

"You could've asked me for that five years ago."

"And I'm also here because I was looking through my old files and recordings I did while working for you to see if I missed one of my genius ideas, and I found this." He produced a tape. "Do you remember the Iron Lady experiments?"

The mere utterance of _Iron Lady_ ushered a wave of negative emotion to flood her, and that was without knowing exactly what emotions she was experiencing. He wouldn't do it. He wasn't really about to put in that damn mover, was he?

"Why?" she replied, as calmly as she could muster.

"You have to watch it! You have to watch it right now! It's one of the greatest scientific inquiries we ever did together." He put a hand to the side of his mouth. "Plus, you stopped the trial before it became too crazy, and I thought you'd like some hope for yourself."

Wait, were they thinking of the same experiment?

Varrick completely ignored Tenzin's protests and set the projector up against the wall.

The mover flickered on, the image of Kuvira very early on in the campaign, before she cut her hair and stopped doing the braid, sitting in her new master's quarters in the bullet train.

"_How does bloodbending work, Varrick_?" Kuvira asked with a dry tone as she sat at her desk.

"_Something about bending the water in blood_," Varrick replied, now clearly lounging on a couch in her quarters.

"_So blood is in part made of water, and that's why waterbenders can bend it. But, I've always noticed that there's a little bit of metal inside blood as well. Science can attest to this, I'm sure._"

"_Yep_."

"_If you think about it, then, metalbenders should be able to manipulate blood, right_?"

"_Seems like it_."

She glanced at Varrick. "Want to find out with me?"

The next moment, she pulled off one of the metal strips on her desk, molded it into a razor, and cut her palm. She didn't even flinch, and used her other hand to try to move to blood collecting in her other hand. She focused intensely, gritting her teeth as she tried to bend the blood, only to get minimal, questionable movements.

Then it happened. The blood lifted inches into the air in little hills, as if she'd dipped her hand in and was lifting it away. The moment only lasted for the blink of an eye before dropping. Kuvira exhaled. "_Keeping focused on it is close to impossible. The pieces must be microscopic._"

The face Varrick made in the corner of the camera was exactly what everyone sitting at the table was making as they watched the mover.

"You can bloodbend and you never told me?" Korra interjected.

Everyone looked back to the screen as the scene shifted, the timestamp reading three days later. Kuvira now doing the same motion with a vial of separated blood. This time, the blood drew more easily, but it was only the red layer. "_Consider this: I'm in a fight, or in a dire situation in which I don't have any metal. But, right here, this is metal_." She made a quick motion, and the red liquid dropped, leaving what appeared to be nothing. "_Just a considerably small amount._"

"_That's only ten milliliters of blood_," Varrick said. "_The human body has almost five liters of blood in it._"

Varrick and Kuvira made eye contact. "_That's a lot of metal, isn't it_?"

"…_Yeah_."

The scene cut again to twelve hours later, five graduated cylinders full of separated blood on Kuvira's desk.

"_Note_," Varrick said to Zhu Li beyond the camera. "_We didn't kill anyone or raid the morgue to get this blood. We negotiated with a gentlemen who works in the morgue_."

Kuvira glanced at the camera as she removed the metal from the blood samples. "_Are you filming this_?"

"_To document our progress_."

Kuvira huffed and brought all the metal together, forming a decently sized nail. After a bit of play, she formed it into a shuriken. "_Definitely not for anything beyond des_per_ation_."

"_Can you even get that much metal out of your own body_?"

Kuvira smiled mischiviously**.** "_Let's find out_."

She began the bending motions, quick hands swiping across her body, and Varrick watched. "_Do you even know how to remove the metal without removing your blood_?"

Kuvira snorted. "_I'm a master metalbender, and part of that is knowing how to remove metal, as in high concentrations of metal used as poison, from the body. This metal is so fine it should fit through the pores even easier. Trust me, this is a cakewalk._" For a moment, the bitterness that had burned inside Kuvira for years reflected in her eyes. "_In fact, if Su had brought me to save Avatar Korra, she'd be back in action right now_."

Varrick laughed. "_What, did Su not get all the poison out?_"

"_I'll bet you anything she didn't_. _Korra's physical recovery shouldn't have taken this long. Clearly, still poisoned._"

Varrick didn't drop the smile. "_I'll bet you all the money in my wallet that you're just making this up._"

Kuvira smirked. "_Deal_." And, out came the microscopic bits of metal, that, when combined together, formed something akin to a small nail. "_But I know what I'm doing_."

Even in that lighting, Kuvira had clearly lost all the color in her face, and she went from leaning on the desk to collapsing to the floor unconscious in less than fifteen seconds. The air filled with Varrick screaming, "_ZHU LI! THE WORLD LEADERS ARE GOING TO KILL ME IF SHE'S DEAD! ZHU LI!_"

Of course, within the next frame, Kuvira awoke, hands on her head, and groaned, "_Scrap that idea._"

The mover changed again to a few more hours later, a green drink on Kuvira's nightstand and Varrick and Kuvira both on the couch.

"Y_ou lost consciousness after taking out less than half your iron. Imagine if you took out more,_" Varrick said.

"_I'd die_."

"_Yeah. So, imagine what would happen if you pulled that on someone else_."

"_Kill someone with metal extraction_?"

"_Well, okay, _technically_ you could do that, but it'd also be a pretty amazing leveler of the playing field. Take out a little bit, and they'd feel faint. Seems like a good tool to have in the back of your pocket_."

Kuvira sighed. "_I don't think we should pursue this. It's going to be too tempting to take it to an extreme_."

The mover ended, and everyone's eyes found Kuvira. Sure, she looked good in the end, but she couldn't stop thinking about how the experiment took a dark turn. When she saw the instant effects and how easy the motion was, she had genuinely considered developing it into a deadly fighting tactic. She had wanted to know exactly how it killed people, and had even gone thinking about who she could target. Varrick was lucky she had knocked some sense into herself.

"Can you still do that?" Meelo asked, curious.

It wasn't worth figuring out; it had been a really advanced form of metalbending, one that involved even more visualization and concentration than even goldbending.

Her gaze slid to Varrick. "You just had to bring this back up, didn't you?"

"Someone had to remind you about all the great memories we had."

"I was really looking forward to not going back to prison."

Varrick pointed an accusatory finger at her. "Hey! We said in that mover that it was donated blood."

There was a long bout of silence.

"Are you done, Varrick?" Korra asked. "You're bringing down the Southern Water Tribe…again."

Varrick nodded. "Once the Dictator gives me my code."

Kuvira had tuned Varrick out, focusing on Korra instead.

"Hey Korra, what did Toph do with you in the Foggy Swamp?" Kuvira asked, a smile growing on her face.

"Oh, you know, discovered that Su didn't get all the metal out."

"Is that so?" Kuvira returned her attention to Varrick. "I believe it's all the money in your wallet, Iknik."

"That bet is so past its legitimacy," Varrick exclaimed, crossing his arms across his chest.

Kuvira shook her head. "You paint me to be an insane neo-bloodbender, I get your money."

It took a long moment of Varrick grumbling to himself, but he forked over a clip of hundred yuan notes.

Bolin sighed. "This is the side of the Earth Empire army that no one talks about."

Varrick looked to Bolin. "Everyone knows about the part where Kuvira took my money."

"No, no, I mean the part where…you know, we were kind of happy, and Kuvira actually smiled."

"What was the exact moment she stopped smiling?" Meelo asked.

At first, Meelo traded looks with Bolin and Varrick, but his gaze landed on Kuvira.

It hit her why this conversation shouldn't be happening, why they shouldn't be joking about it. An insanely strong part of her wanted to just come out and say it, address the elephant-rat in the room. She had killed people. She stopped being a happy, hopeful person once she had blood on her hands.

"But seriously, give me my money back," Varrick said.

She'd have to thank Varrick one day.

"Not happening. I haven't gotten benefits from insulting Suyin's bending abilities since she tried to assassinate me and mistook me for Zhu Li."

* * *

><p>It was almost as if everyone had come together before Kuvira came and decided to carve time out of the first night where she just had to think. Varrick left soon after Kuvira gave him the code he wanted; dinner ended soon after; the guests left (Bolin continued the tradition of hugging her, and she almost returned the gesture this time); and when Kuvira approached Tenzin asking if he still wanted to talk, he said he could wait until the next morning.<p>

Kuvira was left to room, casually toying with her armor plates. Part of her wanted to don the tattered uniform again, just to see if it felt wrong to be in, but had settled for putting the metal armor back on. The bracelets still fit naturally like a glove, but the shoulder pieces seemed so…_heavy_. But, it still felt wonderful to manipulate the metal. She felt whole again.

Should she consider this a good start to life outside of prison?

Really, the only hiccup was Varrick showing that damn mover. She couldn't even say what the unanimous reaction had been. It had been a misguided experiment done before Bolin jumped on board, back when the biggest minds of the campaign were Kuvira, hellbent on saving her people, bringing peace through war, and Varrick, who only saw innovation and profiteering. (And Baatar, who had spent most of the campaign perfecting designs and encouraging Kuvira, no matter what.) There hadn't been anyone telling them right from wrong. Ideas and progress had skyrocketed; it was because of their combined ambition that they got the bullet trains, mecha suits, and even the metal armor. The two of them had spoke casually about the weapons these machines would have, and neither of them really thought twice about it. Sure, the morgue worker had agreed to give them that blood, but how did he obtain it? Did morgues collect blood, or had he gone the extra step get it? Kuvira had no idea. It was incredibly disturbing about how she had been willing to cut herself, and draw blood, all to just experiment a potential technique.

Yet, everyone had seemed so…interested in it. Korra had asked her if she could demonstrate it, and what other biological manipulations she could do. They seemed so in awe.

Who was looking at the situation wrong: her, or everyone around her?

"Hey," Korra greeted her as she walked into the room. Judging by her pajamas, it must be late. She dropped onto Kuvira's made bed next to her, sitting against the wall as Kuvira remained on her back, bending the ever-shifting metal into the air.

"So, what do you think? Not too bad, if you ask me," Korra noted.

"I suppose not too bad… miles above the disaster it could've been."

Korra stared at her in disbelief until Kuvira cracked a smile. "It was nice. Uneventful. I'm almost tempted to say I'm ready for the action to pick up tomorrow."

"Stir crazy _is_ better than physically debilitatingly anxious," she said as she scooted down next to Kuvira.

"What would you say, if I said, I'm still nervous about that meeting?"

"I'd say nothing."

Korra's real response was to pull Kuvira into a kiss. Kuvira set down the metal on the nightstand and flipped onto her side, to a better angle to embrace her. For as tight as they were holding each other, the kiss ended quickly.

"Try taking a deep breath and disconnecting the way you do while meditating," Korra said. "If that doesn't help, I'm here if you want to talk it out more. Have you talked to Tenzin yet?"

"No."

"Ah, bet that didn't help." Korra squeezed Kuvira's hand. "Trust me when I say he's one of the best people I know, and he understands what you're trying to do. It's all going to be okay." She grinned. "If anything, conning five thousand yuans off Varrick is the ultimate positive sign."

Kuvira chuckled. "Only he would keep five thousand yuans on person."

Kuvira ran a hand through Korra's hair. "Considering we're both going to be up at the crack of dawn to train, maybe you should just stay here."

"If you don't think anyone'll notice."

Kuvira pulled the covers down and over to the two of them.

"I don't."

They shared one last kiss before going to sleep for in each other's arms for the first time.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Sorry for the relatively long wait for this chapter. Hope the quality (?) of it makes up for it. :)

Basically, since there isn't a lot of action going on in this chapter, is the emotional resonance enough to carry the chapter? Enjoyed the air babies and Varrick?

S/O to GinkoToothed for the kickass edits.


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